darkSpyro

Have you ever been ignored and disliked just for having a slight interest in something? (Well, it's not slightly at all, I tend to get obsessed with everything I find good and I'm hated for it. I can't help but get attached.) I'm just not allowed to enjoy something, even if it's the only thing distracting me from problems that I can't solve. I just want to forget about all this and enjoy things sometimes. I like my own space and keeping quiet, but at the same time, I should be allowed to mention my interests without being completely disregarded. Like you. You don't even care about anything I have to say. But you don't know how much this means to me. Maybe something is wrong with me, but I need it and it means a lot to me. I guess I can admit that it's an obsession at this point, but it's not hurting me or anyone else. But you're not even concerned about the affect anyway. You just do it because you loathe me. You do it because you think I'm just stupid, worthless and crazy. The reason I'm even holding up is BECAUSE of this. I'm not leaving it behind so you can just shove off. I never did anything to you, you're just careless and selfish. Nobody ever wants to hear what I have to say, not even my 'friends'. First I'm straight out ignored by them, the next you're telling me to just shut up about it.

Just let me be happy, God I beg you. I'm already sick of this all happening to me. So many times I'm overcome with so much pain that I just want to leave, but it's things that I love that keep me here. Do I really need to tell you all of the details in order to finally make you understand? I'm not comfortable in doing that. Let me get on with my life and let me mention things that are bringing me happiness. I can't relax and I just really want a peace of mind. I want it to happen now. I'm sick and tired of all this and I don't want everyone to do what I did to them. I shut myself out and they don't like it, but then I try to engage and they all block me out too. I thought that's what you wanted. Doesn't that make you all happy? I guess not, and now you've put me off again. Thanks a lot, because I'm going to do the same again now. I'm not pushing myself to the limit for any of you anymore. I want to be true to myself as much as I want to be to all of you. I hope all of you are happy because I'm most certainly not. I'm sick of dealing this and I want out. This is all that happens on a daily basis and I'm sick of it. Give me a ****ing miracle or something.

I'm starting to scare myself at this point. I don't know what I'm doing. I've been feeling really distant and confused for a while now. I've lost far too much sleep and anxiety is driving me up the wall. I feel super happy but at the same time I'm so stressed and depressed. I don't know what it is I want to do anymore. I'm losing patience with people quicker than they have been with me. I feel like things are going slow or like I myself have to rush. I keep worrying because I'm always zoning out and not paying attention to what people are saying even if I try really hard. When I type I repeat words and replace them with completely different ones. I keep getting thoughts that I don't want and ones that attack my positive ones. These contradicting thoughts are killing my mind at this point. I'm scared of what people think of me and I'm scared of what I'm thinking of them. I never used to care. I don't feel like I do now, but my thoughts are saying otherwise. Nobody wants to talk to me and there's nothing I can do to solve this on my own. I don't know how to approach them to get help because I'm scared of what they'll think. This has gone on for too long and I'm so ****ing scared. I need this too stop because there's too much stress and panic eating at me and I need a change fast.

ooooh boy next year is gonna be fun
because i know that if i see you, im really not above calling out your bull**** in front of your so called friends
i dont even plan on it honestly, i dont even want to see your face
i just know ill be ready if you ever try ANYTHING to try to touch me or anyone i care about ever again
ive told you before to stay the **** away, and if you dont do exactly that, ill unleash a volley of words that no one will be able to ignore
so just try me
it's your move
so do the smart thing and stay away

why does everyone treat me like i'm stupid?..

You really do love me, I find it so easy to forget that you do. All of you. And I am so thankful for the ways you show me that you love me, seriously.

You say good morning to me every morning, or rather every morning you feel up to it. That means so very much to me, because as the massive introvert I am it shows me that you're making an effort to just... keep connected. Even if it is just "Good morning beautiful" and that is it. I know you are so busy and you get tired of people, so just that means so much.

You, you reassure me that you still care when I start rambling about how I feel like I'm forcing you to stay. You smile at my stupid jokes, and you do silly little things to make me blush and smile. Those silly voices, those stupid inside jokes, those pictures sent with just the thought of 'I thought you might like this' or 'this made me think of you'. You do so many little things that remind me that you care.

You're a crazy idiot who threatens to walk for six hours across the city to see me when i start crashing, you call me every chance you get and you spend so much time with me. Saying that you think you don't say 'I love you' enough is so far from the truth. Words like that are thrown around so easily these days, you show your love in so many ways that I just can't explain them all.

I hope you all know that I love you too, I hope you all know that I'm always here for you and I hope that I show that I care... because its so easy for me to just forget to. I hate saying those three words because so many people lie using them. So I hope you all know that I do, even though I don't day it.

GODDAMMIT I CANNOT LOSE ANOTHER CHILD

im... im gonna do my best to make sure theres no bad blood between us, or even get jealous
im just so used to seeing people that have a crush on my s/o as competition but... i cqn get past it
im just glad you went with me, and im so glad to have such an amazing girlfriend in my life!! thank you for all you do for me!!
but, i am a little relieved you dont like her back, i dont know what id do if i had to have a repeat of the last 7 relationships lol

I've just been told there's some exciting Steven Universe news, and I personally feel I should already know this :/

god that hickey is DARK i love it!!
kinda glad i have that mark on me now, now if people pay enough attention they know im ur girlfriend~

ok so i think holly blue agate is my 3rd favorite gem

There are just so many words I want to say to you. I just can't. You make me sick. What's your deal? What did I do that was so bad? What happened to the light we used to have?

i :))) ****ed :)))) everything :)))))) up :))))))))))))))

Gaahh I'm still very much all over the place but it's a neutral feeling now so that makes this even more confusing. I also don't even have the will to post around here as much as I want to. I'm just getting tired of talking about the same things regarding Skylanders so I just keep going back to my Crash trash can. I went to bed at five and woke up at eight and I've been feeling more than energetic than ever why

Ahh I'm so tired of waiting I want it now. It feels like next week is going to be so long but I neeed it.

For some reason I woke up crying today. And I couldn't stop the tears for around 2 hours after I woke up.

I think I'm bisexual. I'm still attracted to girls but I've started taking an interest in boys. I feel like people will judge me because I already came out as a lesbian.

My life is a complete mess right now
I am literally going insane what is happening

Webs, your brain - turn it off
You're not making sense lately
You need sleep
And I usually don't tell you that

I kinda feel like **** now, thank you.