I wish my social anxiety was a lot more under control. Makes doing phone calls to schedule a job interview impossible unless I pep talk for like an hour beforehand.
On the bright side, getting a call back from a possible job after putting in the application on Saturday is pretty awesome.
im sick and tired of my loved ones getting felt ****ty cards in life
if the world is THAT determined to wreck my happiness, their happiness, ANYONE'S happiness, im not gonna let it
ill just be the change i want in the world
I'm suicidal. The last few months of my life have been a crapstorm and I'm done, done with the bullying, the fake friends, the everything, my parents argue and it scares me. I'm not looking for attention or anything but behind my happy profile here online, there is no happiness
I'm suicidal. The last few months of my life have been a crapstorm and I'm done, done with the bullying, the fake friends, the everything, my parents argue and it scares me. I'm not looking for attention or anything but behind my happy profile here online, there is no happiness
hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here! ;)
my personal thought rn is i hope epic will be ok, life is literally the worst sometimes but u so deserve to be here
im here to talk to, even tho u don't know me im a decent listener
Maybe cuz I have literally 0 self esteem and think I'm incredibly unattractive but i never get complimented on my looks ever and it makes me feel like it's cuz my looks aren't worth complimenting and sometimes I refuse to leave the house because I think I'm ugly, and while others guys check out girls I check out if people are checking me out cuz I'm afraid im hideous. Like, i hate everything about my face, my nose, my ears, my teeth, my everything, I just look....Boring.
I wanna be hot, not ugly and gross, iunno aha
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
So this is what a genuine human emotion feels like. I know that there is vast spectrum of them in existence but I cannot seem to find the reason why the ones I feel cause me discomfort or boredom. I guess one of the reasons for this is that I think that I’ve let you down in some fashion. I don’t know. I guess that I just need to deal with it, shrug it off and carry on with my business.
So that is my personal thought of the day. Carry on being personal, people…
---
I might give you more opinions... for a small fee of course.
When will I get a break everything just keeps getting worse I can't justify doing anything nice for myself and today was a ******* waste of time and I just want to cry all the time
I wonder if there are some people who think I don't want a relationship within the various places I've visited. It's not that I don't want one, I would very much like one...It's that I have this firm belief planted in my head that anyone would be happier with someone other than me and that it would be impossible for someone to want or have a need for me. And I don't want to make anything awkward toward the people I get close to, which will only end up pushing them away, I just don't want to take that chance, I'm too scared of that...It's happened so many times in the past for me, that people whom I end up falling for are in love with someone else, it's made me scared to take any chances and so I don't try to get closer to anyone...I've been hurt so many times, I don't want to get hurt anymore.
And then because of how many times I've been dejected I feel as of there isn't anything positive of me...I sometimes wish that maybe people see me as handsome, or that they can see how loyal I am, how I try my best to help everyone I can as much as I can without going overboard...I wish it...But I don't feel like I'm any of that, and I dislike thinking that way, I don't want to seem like I think of myself as perfect even though I full well know I have positive and negative...
Even though I know there's a way to think great of yourself without being a jerk...I can't see it, that's my fault, I can only think of myself negatively because there is a lot I've gone through, with the dejections and on top of that being abused in my earlier years by my father.
I ain't worth a damn. There, I got my edgy feelings on myself out...I'm usually holding it in, but I got them out. That's how I feel about myself a lot, maybe even too much.
The least I wish for is to be an amazing person on the inside, the outside I don't care about, that's the least I wish for, but I feel like I can't even achieve that...
--- Like fallen snow, I lay on the ground and wait for my turn to fade away, no matter how unique I seem. It's my gift to you... A true sacrifice...
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 17:37:36 07/06/2016 by Dark Lord
Trust me, I know how you feel. I've been coping with similair feelings and situations. Many have told me it's not worth being suicidal, and I had to learn that the harsh way.
If you ever need someone to talk to, you can just pm me anytime. I always respond, not ASAP, but I still respond.
I just loooooooove the fact that you want me out of the house immediately as if I've done you some grave offense, when you're the one who also repeatedly makes sure my mom and I can't leave, and then keep us trapped while you abuse us mentally and emotionally.
I cannot believe how badly I've messed that up. I feel like I'm at a dead end.
- - -
If this thing were to come any slower, maybe hit an actual complication somewhere, I would lose it. I am so anxious for this stuff and one of these things are for my dad, ordered over a week ago. He will chirp my ear off about it soon enough, I just know it.
- - -
I'm actually highly considering investing in a late C2D/i5 MacBook to do Ruby design hereinafter because Linux is a train wreck and Windows is way too simple and not a popular platform at all.
- - -
I'm putting aside money first to be one of the earliest adopters of the RX 480, hopefully it isn't just going to be a reference card at first. EVGA are nice.
Can you please be a little quiet? I get your having fun with your mom, but it makes me upset. I barely see MY mom and if I do have lice again, I won't see her for a week! Or two! It just makes me on the verge of tears. So please, be QUIET! XVX
I'm jealous of two people now...yay.
---
Heading out, my liege? A commission, I presume? Then I shall accompany you. Just...ah, allow me to indulge in one more chapter...
]So, you'd rather move to ****ing Portugal than England? Literally none of us know Portuguese, why do you think that could ever be a good idea? Did it occur to you that I'd fail everything in school because I don't know ****ing Portuguese? "Well we'd have to learn." Right, let me magically learn a damn language, because you want to move to some country where exactly none of us know the language, because you don't like how it's cold in England. Never mind that I would actually be able to understand the language and not fail literally everything.
- - -
I can't even talk to people though, so it probably wouldn't even matter. I can't talk to anyone. I can't even talk to someone who's related to me without ****ing everything up. I figured that because English isn't their first language, they wouldn't really want to talk to me, since I can't speak German very well to talk to them. But then it turns out, no, they wanted to practice their English, so now I ****ed up that to by not talking much. I never really talk to anyone, because I don't even do anything exiting. I literally have nothing to talk about other than Doctor Who with them anyway though, and there's only so many things you can say on one subject. I can't talk to family because I don't do anything interesting, and I don't even speak the same language. I can't talk to strangers, because that just gives me a mini-heart attack. I can't even talk to people online. I have 1 friend on here after being here since 2012, and I haven't responded in days because I'm just so scared of talking to anyone ever.
I'd try to speak German, but I can't do anything without my little brother making fun of me for it. Don't pronounce it correctly? Get insulted! You couldn't pronounce the sentence either, but "uh huh yes I could I just won't right now but by the way you're an idiot for not saying it right." Hide behind everything like a 3 year old, then jump out at me, and flick? It doesn't matter IT'S LITERALLY AN INVOLUNTARY ACTION, you still act like I'm a baby for jumping back, even when I know exactly where you're hiding. Kick me under the table, or insult me just quiet enough that nobody else could hear? "I'm just sitting here!" Sure you ****ing are. You know he does this, you admitted it yourself with "do you think nobody notices?" If you know he does these things, why can't you do ANYTHING to TRY and get him to stop? "Oh just ignore it." I would, if it wasn't literally going on every waking moment. I'm actually scared to do anything ever, just because no matter what, he'll just make fun of me. Then it's a problem if I sit in my room with the door literally BARRICADED, just so he won't come in and see what I'm doing. Of course, here the doors have a huge glass panel in them, so I couldn't watch vinesauce videos (the one thing that keep me happy) without him going "what are you watching in there with those headphones on?"
To much scared to talk to anyone no matter what, no matter if they're related, a stranger, or my only friend on the internet.
Finds out we may or may not move to a country I don' even know the language, AND finds out Bernie Sanders seems pretty much ****ed out of the nomination the same day
To much of a baby to stand up to my little brother who harasses me so much it's amazing I can function anymore (oh wait, I can't)
Can't make new friends even if someone else starts talking to me first.
**** life.
Product review for: Life: 0/5 stars
Can't handle it.
If anyone actually read that message, congratulations, you wasted precious minutes of your life reading about some worthless person who couldn't even talk to you if they tried.
I've been exercising a bit the past few months (and work can give me good exercise). I just kinda wanted to share my arm to show that while it can take a time, it really is worth it <3. If any of you want to be fit, I suggest start now, and you'll be happy with the results!
---
Hey is there anything you want me to bring for the rest of the week and if so it’s so cool that you can do something and just do it like that
If someone goes to a non JoJo topic and forces Jojokes, it's literally like forcing your religion on someone else who has a different religion.
Just make an all purpose topic
I swear to god I have like at least five people who will vouch for this that come to mind
I love the **** out of Prison Break and Zelda, I don't spam PB or Zelda jokes cuz I know how to contain myself.
It's like...If i told someone a joke and they thought it was funny and month later i told the same joke so they'd forgotten and they found it chuckle worthy, then i waited a week and told it again and they didn't laugh, then told it the next day, and every following day they'd get pissed.
IT'S THE SAME JOKE EVERY TIME, i dont even see the joke tbh just like "Oh...dio is a god!" like, wtf, people don't understand and you keep doing it so it's not funny even if it had been the first time aha
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 21:59:52 08/06/2016 by Lunarz
If someone goes to a non JoJo topic and forces Jojokes, it's literally like forcing your religion on someone else who has a different religion.
Just make an all purpose topic
I swear to god I have like at least five people who will vouch for this that come to mind
I love the **** out of Prison Break and Zelda, I don't spam PB or Zelda jokes cuz I know how to contain myself.
It's like...If i told someone a joke and they thought it was funny and month later i told the same joke so they'd forgotten and they found it chuckle worthy, then i waited a week and told it again and they didn't laugh, then told it the next day, and every following day they'd get pissed.
IT'S THE SAME JOKE EVERY TIME, i dont even see the joke tbh just like "Oh...dio is a god!" like, wtf, people don't understand and you keep doing it so it's not funny even if it had been the first time aha
I don't like rap, but I'm not going to tell people to stop listening to rap. Even if I don't understand why people like it or sing it.
If someone goes to a non JoJo topic and forces Jojokes, it's literally like forcing your religion on someone else who has a different religion.
Just make an all purpose topic
I swear to god I have like at least five people who will vouch for this that come to mind
I love the **** out of Prison Break and Zelda, I don't spam PB or Zelda jokes cuz I know how to contain myself.
It's like...If i told someone a joke and they thought it was funny and month later i told the same joke so they'd forgotten and they found it chuckle worthy, then i waited a week and told it again and they didn't laugh, then told it the next day, and every following day they'd get pissed.
IT'S THE SAME JOKE EVERY TIME, i dont even see the joke tbh just like "Oh...dio is a god!" like, wtf, people don't understand and you keep doing it so it's not funny even if it had been the first time aha
I don't like rap, but I'm not going to tell people to stop listening to rap. Even if I don't understand why people like it or sing it.
I mean, I'm just sharing my thought aha
And it's not really the same. If someone kept coming to your house and rapping wouldn't you be pissed off?
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
If someone goes to a non JoJo topic and forces Jojokes, it's literally like forcing your religion on someone else who has a different religion.
Just make an all purpose topic
I swear to god I have like at least five people who will vouch for this that come to mind
I love the **** out of Prison Break and Zelda, I don't spam PB or Zelda jokes cuz I know how to contain myself.
It's like...If i told someone a joke and they thought it was funny and month later i told the same joke so they'd forgotten and they found it chuckle worthy, then i waited a week and told it again and they didn't laugh, then told it the next day, and every following day they'd get pissed.
IT'S THE SAME JOKE EVERY TIME, i dont even see the joke tbh just like "Oh...dio is a god!" like, wtf, people don't understand and you keep doing it so it's not funny even if it had been the first time aha
I don't like rap, but I'm not going to tell people to stop listening to rap. Even if I don't understand why people like it or sing it.
I mean, I'm just sharing my thought aha
And it's not really the same. If someone kept coming to your house and rapping wouldn't you be pissed off?
I understand having your thoughts about it and ranting about it, but you're making it seem like Jo Jo's Bizarre Adventure is the plague that crumbles society.
Plus your analogies don't make sense. The Jo Jo memes is something you can ignore. Go into a topic, oh a Jo Jo meme? Looks like I don't have to go into this topic. It's that simple, they aren't even really that reoccurring. Let people have fun.
But I do agree with you that it does get annoying when the topic doesn't even start with those memes in the first place. I wouldn't compare it to stuffing religion down people's throats, because let's remember that children are doing this and don't know any better, but just report it to a mod and they'll take care of it.
Perhaps its the way you worded it just irks me. I mean, I have never seen the Jo Jo series so I don't think the jokes are that funny either. And I do agree that they're annoying at times. Perhaps it's my high tolerance, or your common human nature to exaggerate when you're upset that irks me. Idk my dude, but you're allowed to your opinion.
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#CynderIsAFireDragon
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 22:33:32 08/06/2016 by TheFlyingSeal
If someone goes to a non JoJo topic and forces Jojokes, it's literally like forcing your religion on someone else who has a different religion.
Just make an all purpose topic
I swear to god I have like at least five people who will vouch for this that come to mind
I love the **** out of Prison Break and Zelda, I don't spam PB or Zelda jokes cuz I know how to contain myself.
It's like...If i told someone a joke and they thought it was funny and month later i told the same joke so they'd forgotten and they found it chuckle worthy, then i waited a week and told it again and they didn't laugh, then told it the next day, and every following day they'd get pissed.
IT'S THE SAME JOKE EVERY TIME, i dont even see the joke tbh just like "Oh...dio is a god!" like, wtf, people don't understand and you keep doing it so it's not funny even if it had been the first time aha
I don't like rap, but I'm not going to tell people to stop listening to rap. Even if I don't understand why people like it or sing it.
I mean, I'm just sharing my thought aha
And it's not really the same. If someone kept coming to your house and rapping wouldn't you be pissed off?
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