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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > Some Decent (Or Terrible) Jokes
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Some Decent (Or Terrible) Jokes [CLOSED]
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#1 Posted: 14:41:24 17/01/2016 | Topic Creator
My Ex-Wife still misses me.

But her aim is getting better!


Why did the musician get arrested?

Because he got in treble.


What do you call fake pasta?

An impasta.


My friend told me he could breath underwater. I told him to prove it. So he filled a glass of water, put if over is head, and started breathing.

My other friend told me he could jump higher than a tree. I told him to prove it. So he jumped. I told him that he didn't even jump the height of a quarter of the tree. He simply replied, "I jumped higher than the tree, because trees don't jump.

What did the man scream when he held a stick up into the air?

"This is a stick up!"


Two scientists walked into a bar. One told the bartender, "I'll have some H20." The other said, "I'll have some H20, too."

The second scientist died.


Why did the chicken NOT cross the road?

Because he was too chicken.


How do you get a pack of wild Pikachus on a bus?

You poke-em-on!


I've been swimming since I was five.

Boy, my arms are tired.


Why aren't fish musical?

Because you can't tuna fish.


What did the skeleton says to the mummy?

"I've got a bone to pick with you!"




THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!

Not all of these jokes are mine, by the way.

Message me if you want more.
---
i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
huge dotd freak Emerald Sparx Gems: 3354
#2 Posted: 15:18:18 17/01/2016
Have you heard the joke about the germ?

I won't tell you, I don't want to spread it


why did Adel cross the road?

to say hello from the other side
---
Do you not like my mouth words?
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#3 Posted: 15:48:48 17/01/2016 | Topic Creator
Did you hear that pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.
---
i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
Skyhunter Diamond Sparx Gems: 9893
#4 Posted: 18:38:31 17/01/2016
Why did Hercules have to do the dishes?
They were covered in Ancient Greece!


A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says to the bartender "I'll have two beers, one for here, and one for the road."

Why did the clam have to go to the doctor?
He pulled a mussel!
---
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 18:40:57 17/01/2016 by Skyhunter
Ash Starkindle Gold Sparx Gems: 2625
#5 Posted: 20:23:53 17/01/2016
You know those carts where you have to put in a quarter to use them, but then you get the quarter back?

It makes no sense.
AdamGregory03 Gold Sparx Gems: 2156
#6 Posted: 21:10:03 17/01/2016
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape from the factory farms, which kill over hundreds of farm animals every year.
---
Golden Queen did nothing wrong and she is best evil waifu.
Check this out! Please?
Greeble Emerald Sparx Gems: 4431
#7 Posted: 10:06:54 18/01/2016
Yo mama is so fat.

She's Jabba the Hutt's body double.
---
^ You all know it's true
Samius Hunter Gems: 9573
#8 Posted: 12:14:49 18/01/2016
Quote: Chompy-King257
Two scientists walked into a bar. One told the bartender, "I'll have some H20." The other said, "I'll have some H20, too."

The second scientist died.


whosoever doesn't understand this joke, know that I am deeply disappointed in you.
Greeble Emerald Sparx Gems: 4431
#9 Posted: 13:05:35 18/01/2016
Quote: Samius
Quote: Chompy-King257
Two scientists walked into a bar. One told the bartender, "I'll have some H20." The other said, "I'll have some H20, too."

The second scientist died.


whosoever doesn't understand this joke, know that I am deeply disappointed in you.


I'll add you to my list of people i've disappointed :'(
---
^ You all know it's true
Samius Hunter Gems: 9573
#10 Posted: 15:18:10 18/01/2016
Quote: Greeble
Quote: Samius
Quote: Chompy-King257
Two scientists walked into a bar. One told the bartender, "I'll have some H20." The other said, "I'll have some H20, too."

The second scientist died.


whosoever doesn't understand this joke, know that I am deeply disappointed in you.


I'll add you to my list of people i've disappointed :'(


[User Posted Image]

I can't deal with it.
ShadowMewX Diamond Sparx Gems: 8583
#11 Posted: 19:44:14 18/01/2016
Quote: Samius
Quote: Chompy-King257
Two scientists walked into a bar. One told the bartender, "I'll have some H20." The other said, "I'll have some H20, too."

The second scientist died.


whosoever doesn't understand this joke, know that I am deeply disappointed in you.


Here's another one that will make me disappointed if people don't get it. (It's not mine, though.)
A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers please."
---
Let's bust bunsen burners and bounce!
Skyhunter Diamond Sparx Gems: 9893
#12 Posted: 20:33:26 18/01/2016
Quote: ShadowMewX
Quote: Samius
Quote: Chompy-King257
Two scientists walked into a bar. One told the bartender, "I'll have some H20." The other said, "I'll have some H20, too."

The second scientist died.


whosoever doesn't understand this joke, know that I am deeply disappointed in you.


Here's another one that will make me disappointed if people don't get it. (It's not mine, though.)
A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers please."


*processing...*

Oh, I get it!

-------


A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Deja moo: the feeling you've heard this bull before.
---
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 20:34:22 18/01/2016 by Skyhunter
Greeble Emerald Sparx Gems: 4431
#13 Posted: 10:27:28 19/01/2016
These jokes are shockingly funny.

Why didn't i think of them smilie
---
^ You all know it's true
StormDragon21 Platinum Sparx Gems: 5781
#14 Posted: 14:19:23 19/01/2016
More jokes!

What do you call a dwarf who speaks to the dead and escaped from prison?

A small medium at large


What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A minor B-flat



Quote: Chompy-King257
My Ex-Wife still misses me.

But her aim is getting better!


Isn't that one from Gravity Falls?
---
"sTORM, my parents just told me something that RUINED MY LIFE. DID YOU KNOW that Smarties have different flavors?!" ~ShadowMewX
thumper Ripto Gems: 3519
#15 Posted: 14:32:10 19/01/2016
Quote: StormDragon21
More jokes!

What do you call a dwarf who speaks to the dead and escaped from prison?

A small medium at large



What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A minor B-flat


giggles smilie
DummyZ Gold Sparx Gems: 2844
#16 Posted: 15:24:02 19/01/2016
-Pussy.

-I don't get it.

-Oh, I know.


- - -
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#17 Posted: 21:38:33 19/01/2016 | Topic Creator
Quote: StormDragon21
More jokes!

What do you call a dwarf who speaks to the dead and escaped from prison?

A small medium at large


What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A minor B-flat



Quote: Chompy-King257
My Ex-Wife still misses me.

But her aim is getting better!


Isn't that one from Gravity Falls?


Why, yes it is! Good old Stanley Pines!
---
i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
TrapShadowFan Emerald Sparx Gems: 3511
#18 Posted: 21:54:53 19/01/2016
Quote: Chompy-King257
Quote: StormDragon21
More jokes!

What do you call a dwarf who speaks to the dead and escaped from prison?

A small medium at large


What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A minor B-flat



Quote: Chompy-King257
My Ex-Wife still misses me.

But her aim is getting better!


Isn't that one from Gravity Falls?


Why, yes it is! Good old Stanley Pines!


-obligatory JOAJE-
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