darkSpyro

I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I think it's time for me to leave. I don't know if it's because I have changed, or if the site/user base has changed, but I don't really enjoy it here anymore. I don't have much to contribute because I'm not interested in or can't relate to many of the topics being posted, and when I do post I feel like I'm ignored a lot of the time anyway. I'm just not needed here anymore, assuming I was ever actually needed. And while some of y'all may say or think differently, I doubt I'm really wanted here either. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to the friends that I have made here, but on the forum in general I seem to be more of a social outcast than anything else, or at least that's how I feel a lot of the time. I suppose that's my own fault for not being more social or even more approachable, but at the same time that's just how I am and I can't really change that. I thought I could be more myself online, or rather someone I would like to be, but it seems even that has a limit.

Also, it seems like this place gives me more grief than anything else. I joined this site thinking it would be a good escape from real life problems, and I could make friends and have a good time. But honestly if it wasn't for meeting scf and a couple other friends, I would say that I wish I had never joined this site at all. I will admit that the first couple of years here were nice, but it seems like this place has turned into a very unwelcoming and unfriendly community. It almost feels like Tumblr in a way; if a user doesn't fit y'all's standards you go after them like it's some sort of witch hunt. It's like some of y'all have formed little cliques and stick with that while treating everyone else badly, or ignoring them completely. And it seems like if there's even the smallest opportunity to pick on someone, some of you are a little too quick to take it. The sad part is that issues like this have been discussed before but nobody seems to care enough to change it. Obviously not everyone acts like this though, and it's not all the time, and I am far from being perfect myself, but I've been here long enough to see these things. I feel like I've been watching all of this from the sidelines. You know I'm there but I'm not important enough to recognize, which is why I never really bothered discussing this before. I would often feel dread when I'm about to come on here but I would still do it since it's part of my routine or whatever and I never really had anything better to do. I would often get stressed or annoyed or even angry, or I'll feel bad about myself because I keep comparing myself to others or I'll say something that ends up getting ignored or sounding stupid or taken the wrong way. And none of that helps my depression at all. I can't really blame y'all for making it worse because some of it is my own fault and I should learn to control my feelings and emotions a bit more. But still, enough is enough.

I keep telling myself that it's only a website, but I've been here for quite awhile now, and I have history tied to this site, so it's difficult for me to say that this place isn't important. So all of that just makes the negative feelings that much worse, especially since I always considered this place to be like a second home. It really hasn't been all bad, but as the saying goes, "All good things must come to an end." And anyway, I'm pretty busy with school, so all of these negative feelings and distractions aren't good for school life, and even for life in general. So that's why I'm leaving now, to start the new year off fresh.

That being said, if there are actually people who would like to stay in touch, I'll still log on every now and then to check messages. But I'd like to log on here as little as possible, so if you want to talk frequently I'll give you my Skype or Tumblr name or something. Who knows, I might end up coming back eventually, because as much as I hate to admit it, this site is rather addicting. But don't count on it, so don't expect anything from Avatari anymore.

Thanks for all of the memories, and happy new year.

Bye bye~