darkSpyro

Well, time is flying by. We have already been here three months. We only have four weeks until the end of this quarter. I (Jena) really need to study hard, because I (Jena) have got to pass. Our professor in biology was going really fast explaining all the information we needed to learn. Next week we would began our final test in our subjects. Angie had been on five dates so far, with Stephen. I (Jena) had to buckle down and study, even though, I (Jena) could not get my mind off him. I (Jena) told myself to tink of something else, but that was like talking to the wall. I (Jena) finally dozed off and all I (Jena) could dream about was him. Off to class I (Jena) go. I (Jena) took my test and I (Jena) think I (Jena) passed. I (Jena) walked out of the class and there was Stephen. He asked "how did you do on the test."
"I (Jena) think I passed," Jena said.
Stephen said, "You want something to eat."
"Sure," I (Jena) replied. So off we went but here comes Angie up between us.

"I don't know about that but I will be there," Jena said. After Jena hung up she just busted out crying and not just crying but sobbing. Jena could not believe that Charlotte called her like she did. She made me feel insignificant like I (Jena) didn't matter at all and then maybe Steve really did tell her to tell Jena what she said. I (Jena) don't think she ever approved of me for him anyway. Well she is going to get her way. No more Stephen for me. Go away, Go away. Jena kept telling herself. You need to go away. That's it I (Jena) need to get away. Away from everything. Jena thought she could go check the crime scene herself. It doesn't look as if the investigators are going to collect what I saw in the photo. Jena you are just dreaming because you know your not going anywhere you are going to stay right here. Jena took a hot tub bath just so she could relax. I (Jena) took a benadryl to help me sleep. I am just so tired of worrying and thinking about I cannot say his name, I don't even want to think it, Just go to bed. I crawled on the bed and crawled over under the sheets.

After Jena got home she kept thinking about how nice Lionel really was and not bad looking either. I (Jena) just might go out with him if he asks. He might not have liked me at all. You never know.I (Jena) am kinda tired.Jena goes to take a shower and it is time to go to sleep. I (Jena) saw a sweater jacket hanging on the hook. My heart started racing please let it be Stephens. It smelled just like him. I took it to bed with me and I pulled it up close. I could smell him even if I couldn't touch him. Right now that will do, Jena thought. I turned on the soft romantic music by Johnny Mathis. It was so relaxing and soothing for my nerves. The song Clouds was so beautiful to me. Jena felt like she was floating on that cloud he was singing about. I (Jena) fell asleep and slept like a log. I (Jena) felt great the next morning as I (Jena) got up getting ready to go to Church. It made me feel good to Pray to God about my shortcomings. God was my haven in the storm. He takes care of me no matter what. When Jena got to Church there were so many people there just like me who needed help. We spoke to each other but we really didn't know each other. The preacher told us we needed to welcome anybody we did not know. Well, Jena only knew a few so she was shaking a lot of hands. After church she went straight home thinking about what she was going to eat for lunch.

Lemme guess, Vanity Publishing?

Because if it isn't I sure wish someone would pick my book as badly written as it currently is and just shove it on amazon that easily for free.

It's not a specific brand. Vanity Publishing is when you have a publisher make YOU pay for everything, because then they'll give negative ****s and release the book as is - no editing unless you ask for it, no revising, no taste. They don't care if you'll sell because you made them profit already.

Of course,that's not saying that non-vanity press is innocent,because they'll hold your copy up for 6 months then say they didn't even read it because they have enough of that genre.

She uses "I (Jena)" quite a lot.

Oh man, I know that feel so bad... My grandad is making a book of his "life story" atm, and my mum and uncle have been editing it to make it vaguely legible, and now I have to ****in proof read it, and dear god I have read fan fiction written by twelve year old's that's better than this. Like the content is decent, he was a kid in WW2, so there's some interesting things, they're just written in such a boring "and then this happened" way. I think he's just good at yacking his mouth off, but has no actual writing skills whatsoever.

My grandma on my Dad's side also wrote some trashy generic romance novels, never read them tho. They looked like the kind you find for like 50c at a book fair.

Quote: Bryman04

She uses "I (Jena)" quite a lot.

The POV, from what I can gather, is supposed to be first person switching between multiple characters (which only happens about 3-4 times in the whole book). Jena is the main character, so I suppose she just has to denote that it's Jena she's talking about. As if context clues don't exist.

Well, time is flying by. We have already been here three months. We only have four weeks until the end of this quarter. I (Jena) really need to study hard, because I (Jena) have got to pass. Our professor in biology was going really fast explaining all the information we needed to learn. Next week we would began our final test in our subjects. Angie had been on five dates so far, with Stephen. I (Jena) had to buckle down and study, even though, I (Jena) could not get my mind off him. I (Jena) told myself to tink of something else, but that was like talking to the wall. I (Jena) finally dozed off and all I (Jena) could dream about was him. Off to class I (Jena) go. I (Jena) took my test and I (Jena) think I (Jena) passed. I (Jena) walked out of the class and there was Stephen. He asked "how did you do on the test."
"I (Jena) think I passed," Jena said.
Stephen said, "You want something to eat."
"Sure," I (Jena) replied. So off we went but here comes Angie up between us.

Quote: Metallo

Quote: Bryman04

She uses "I (Jena)" quite a lot.

The POV, from what I can gather, is supposed to be first person switching between multiple characters (which only happens about 3-4 times in the whole book). Jena is the main character, so I suppose she just has to denote that it's Jena she's talking about. As if context clues don't exist.

Still, there's hundreds of better ways to do that...

"I (Jena) think I passed," Jena said.

i (moonhorizons) have a somewhat concerning amount of dislike for this story.

Quote: MoonHorizons

i (moonhorizons) have a somewhat concerning amount of dislike for this story.

I (Mega Spyro) have to agree.

Quote: mega spyro

Quote: MoonHorizons

i (moonhorizons) have a somewhat concerning amount of dislike for this story.

I (Mega Spyro) have to agree.

I (PwnageFTW) must have to agree to this.

Quote: PwnageFTW

Quote: mega spyro

I (Mega Spyro) have to agree.

I (PwnageFTW) must have to agree to this.

I (Skylandersspyro) agree with your agreement's

I (Big Green) am still confused by her putting the name after I every time, like that's going to change. I (dark52) can't imagine when that would change so fast. I (Goku) suppose that would be very confusing.

Quote: AvatariDragon

It may not become a famous story and it may not be the best writing in the world but making fun of it is kinda messed up. I would imagine she worked relatively hard on it and she's probably really proud to have something published and you're just poking fun because she doesn't write like F. Scott Fitzgerald or John Greene or something. Seriously? If she saw this her feelings would probably be hurt pretty bad. But who really cares right? As long as we can get a good laugh out of it...

Just because you can write doesn't mean you automatically have the skill to make a good story. She doesn't have to be at the same level as some classic authors, even then not everyone enjoys their works, but she has to at least be coherent and entertaining which anyone should be able to do. I'd only expect this type of grammar from a freshmen high school student.

If I bought this book for $30 and found it was one of the worst books I've read and I didn't at least give my two cents worth on it, I may be encouraging the writer to continue writing at the same level and potentially wasting the time and money of her customers and herself. Yes there may be a few who enjoy her creations, but as we already know it's either the opinion of the majority or the amount of money spent on the project that decides where an idea or series will go in the future. Since I don't know anything about the money spent on this, the opinions and criticisms of her readers should be taken into consideration if she wants to continue writing.

Quote: AvatariDragon

It may not become a famous story and it may not be the best writing in the world but making fun of it is kinda messed up. I would imagine she worked relatively hard on it and she's probably really proud to have something published and you're just poking fun because she doesn't write like F. Scott Fitzgerald or John Greene or something. Seriously? If she saw this her feelings would probably be hurt pretty bad. But who really cares right? As long as we can get a good laugh out of it...

Just because you can write doesn't mean you automatically have the skill to make a good story. She doesn't have to be at the same level as some classic authors, even then not everyone enjoys their works, but she has to at least be coherent and entertaining which anyone should be able to do. I'd only expect this type of grammar from a freshmen high school student.

If I bought this book for $30 and found it was one of the worst books I've read and I didn't at least give my two cents worth on it, I may be encouraging the writer to continue writing at the same level and potentially wasting the time and money of her customers and herself. Yes there may be a few who enjoy her creations, but as we already know it's either the opinion of the majority or the amount of money spent on the project that decides where an idea or series will go in the future. Since I don't know anything about the money spent on this, the opinions and criticisms of her readers should be taken into consideration if she wants to continue writing.

Quote: Spyro Fanatic

Quote: AvatariDragon

It may not become a famous story and it may not be the best writing in the world but making fun of it is kinda messed up. I would imagine she worked relatively hard on it and she's probably really proud to have something published and you're just poking fun because she doesn't write like F. Scott Fitzgerald or John Greene or something. Seriously? If she saw this her feelings would probably be hurt pretty bad. But who really cares right? As long as we can get a good laugh out of it...

Just because you can write doesn't mean you automatically have the skill to make a good story. She doesn't have to be at the same level as some classic authors, even then not everyone enjoys their works, but she has to at least be coherent and entertaining which anyone should be able to do. I'd only expect this type of grammar from a freshmen high school student.

If I bought this book for $30 and found it was one of the worst books I've read and I didn't at least give my two cents worth on it, I may be encouraging the writer to continue writing at the same level and potentially wasting the time and money of her customers and herself. Yes there may be a few who enjoy her creations, but as we already know it's either the opinion of the majority or the amount of money spent on the project that decides where an idea or series will go in the future. Since I don't know anything about the money spent on this, the opinions and criticisms of her readers should be taken into consideration if she wants to continue writing.

Okay but there's a difference between giving criticism and completely making fun of something, that's my point. This topic was basically just made to make fun of it, based on the posts I've seen. And I think that's pretty messed up. Not to mention I doubt anyone here is actually planning on going to her and actually giving her these "criticisms." Everyone probably plans on staying here so they can keep making fun of her instead.

Quote: AvatariDragon

Quote: Spyro Fanatic

Just because you can write doesn't mean you automatically have the skill to make a good story. She doesn't have to be at the same level as some classic authors, even then not everyone enjoys their works, but she has to at least be coherent and entertaining which anyone should be able to do. I'd only expect this type of grammar from a freshmen high school student.

If I bought this book for $30 and found it was one of the worst books I've read and I didn't at least give my two cents worth on it, I may be encouraging the writer to continue writing at the same level and potentially wasting the time and money of her customers and herself. Yes there may be a few who enjoy her creations, but as we already know it's either the opinion of the majority or the amount of money spent on the project that decides where an idea or series will go in the future. Since I don't know anything about the money spent on this, the opinions and criticisms of her readers should be taken into consideration if she wants to continue writing.

Okay but there's a difference between giving criticism and completely making fun of something, that's my point. This topic was basically just made to make fun of it, based on the posts I've seen. And I think that's pretty messed up. Not to mention I doubt anyone here is actually planning on going to her and actually giving her these "criticisms." Everyone probably plans on staying here so they can keep making fun of her instead.

I'd have no problem going up to her and telling her this. She is my great aunt, after all.

aw **** i guess we can't make fun of twilight or anything either, stephenie meyer might see this