darkSpyro

summary:
like 90% of my irl ppl are jerks and betrayed me
i got a new friend who's very great and has helped me get through some really personal stuff involving my ex
and to be truly happy i have to stop hiding from like everyone that im genderfluid

makes sense

seeing how well off you are legitimately makes me contemplate self harm again
if you're going to make me miserable INTENTIONALLY then you deserve the ****ing same

you're like a cancer and i wish i could cut you out of my life entirely

I'm not even gonna bother, your current argument is more irrelevant to the current situation than I thought possible

/confuses skyhigh standards with asexuality

Oh my days seriously I come home in such a good mood and you ruin it. I've tried so hard to be positive with school and it's working but you don't see that and always have something to complain about with me. All you seem to want to do no matter what is criticize me and do you know how dejecting it is to see you so disinterested and to only hear negative things? And you wonder why I like to stay on my own all the time. And don't you dare even THINK about 'restricting' my phone. I'm not sure exactly what you think I'm doing on there but I can assure you it is not 'worthless'. Unless you count talking to the best and most important person to ever come into my life who I wouldn't be able to speak to any other way worthless, because if that was the case that would be YOUR problem not mine. I finally find someone who actually seems to care about me and makes me the happiest I've ever been and then you tear me down even more. Honestly, if I did have amazing friends at school and online right now I'd be in such a bad condition, they're the only people keeping me going. The fact that I'm happier at school than home should say a lot, honestly the only reason I like being at home is being able to get on the Internet and do the things that mean a lot to me, but you don't get that. Sixth form next year where I will probably be pretty far from home and have really long journeys is looking better and better by the minute...

I had a dream about you last night.

I dreamt we were back together.

Like we used to be.

Damn, I miss you.

But **** you for making me feel this way.

I hope somehow you know I feel like this.

I hope you feel the same way.

Sorry for treating you like that.

You were nothing less than perfect for me.

lol since this is written about a boy i think i'm bi. maybe. probably. I dont know and I don't care, I don't want a label right now. I like girls and I miss my ex boyfriend. There's my label.

i need to forget about you before i destroy myself thinking of how much better off you are...

I need a new body tbh. Yeah it could be worse but I'm honestly really tired of this ****.

---

Quit trying so hard, you're getting annoying.

the last thing i ever said to you was "**** off you prick."

please message me so i can say sorry. whether you forgive me or not

hey slim, i drank a fifth of vodka. dare me to drive?

--

i unblocked you from both social media sites i blocked you on

now all i do

is wait

punish me from eating? wow ***got

god has left me.

Please just go away...

---

It's almost 4 am and I can't sleep and I'm crying. **** me.

"You're pathetic, Isabella."
"It's just a joke, Isabella"
"I'm putting that photo on Facebook, Isabella."
"Why are you crying, Isabella?"

because you are a ****ing lowlife who makes me feel as low as you are. that's why.

This still sounds like a good idea, I just need to figure out when to do it. And the saddest part about it is that I won't even really be that sad. Haha. Ha..

---

Kayden...

Really? Did you really just say that to me? Maybe in a way you're right but it's not something I can help and not something that is a 'flaw'. How dare you say it like that? It would be so nice if you could accept the things I say to you. It's not all my fault and it's not all my responsibility. You think I haven't tried at all with numerous people to try and get them to be friends with me? They don't want to. I went through three years alone with absolutely no-one and now that I've finally found people you criticize them because they aren't members. Well that they're not but they're good people and they care about me and to be honest I don't give a **** how I know them, they're the best friends I have and if you care more about superficial stuff than whether I'm happy that's your problem. If you saw me at school or saw the way I talk to people online and saw how much happier I am maybe you'd understand. At the end of the day, you aren't the best person to compare to when it comes to this matter so I suggest you stay out of it.