Even though I'm back i shouldn't act the way I do. I can see I'm already acting bad, forgetting my place and being a bother. I will try to keep myself contained, I am sorry.
--
I've been up since one in the morning, coughing really bad. Its now twenty past 6 and I still can't stop coughing. Hopefully going to the doctor means I can get something to help, I hope he doesnt just say "Rest and it will get better"
--- I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
Note to self: He's not yours. Stop crying. Stop calling him pet names in your head, stop that pain in your heart. You should have this through your thick skull by now.
----
Olivia is back. I thought I left that part of me behind but she is here again, whispering poisonous sweet words in my ear. And oh how its working, how my tears are numbing me again. At this rate I fear the scratching will start again
---
Tears and a cold are not a good mix for ease of breathing
---
I can't stand to look at myself. I can't stand to see my reflection. I just... I can't anymore
--- I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 23:44:40 14/09/2015 by Riolu-Blue-247
Shouldve never opened up my mouth, but it's you thinking you're always right. Guess what? You're not. If I never woulda said I didn't wanna then you never would've started.
"Wow Nicolas you're so lucky you have like 5 girls that are totally crazy about you and think you're hot! How come you don't talk to any of them? How come nobody appreciates me?"
It makes me so sad when you feel like nobody cares about you. When you get sad like this. Just because some guy doesn't have a crush on you, doesn't mean you aren't loved! You're my friend. I value you more than you can imagine. Oh and I'm not interested in those girls. Sometimes I wish I was straight because maybe I could have a SO. Eh. I'm probably just being weird again... Please don't be like this again.
Okay yeah tell EVERYONE what pediatric hospital you're going to you and that you have a sleeping baby with you. Totally doesn't open you up for anything. -___-
I really hate how you expect me not to retaliate when you piss me off. I hate how whenever you say anything, you scream it at me, and I get in trouble, just because whenever you scream, people think that I did something wrong, when most of the times I didn't. I hate how you can hit me and get away with it because you're a girl, but when I hit you back I get in trouble. It's completely unfair. I also hate how you completely degrade me and others. You say it's constructive criticism, but we all know that's complete bull****. I've tried for 15 years to accommodate for you, and fit in to how you want me to be, but recently, you've just been horrible to me, and I'm so completely done. I feel like going out of my way to make your life a living hell like you do to me, but then again, as soon as I even go near you I get in trouble. It just doesn't add up.
- - -
I also hate how boys are meant to conceal their emotions. I feel like I can never talk to anyone irl about how I truly feel because I just break down crying. I get so emotional so easily, and when people start insulting me, even if it's as simple as "you smell", if I think they truly mean it, it'll keep me awake at night. What can I do to improve there? I just want to be accepted. I doesn't matter if I make a difference in the world. I just want to fit in. I want people to think I'm normal. I want people to treat me normally. Is that too much to ask?
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 02:11:33 15/09/2015 by Mesuxelf
Mine is crappy so far.Most girls in my school are really picky and ugly.And hate video games.
Just don't get used and led on by a girl that didn't even like you and used you to get closer to one of your best friends, k kiddo?
Relationships are always tough at this age. You really want that one person who makes you feel special, but then again, the relationship is lucky to last more than 4 years. But I'm sorry about you being used. It's horrible when people use you, and play with your emotions. Especially when they use it to benefit them. She has no consideration for your feelings, so what makes your best friend think she'll care about him? I don't know the full details of the situation you're in, like whether you and your friend have fallen out because of this, but if not, don't let her be with him. All she's gonna do is hurt both of your feelings even more.
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 02:06:35 15/09/2015 by Mesuxelf
Mine is crappy so far.Most girls in my school are really picky and ugly.And hate video games.
Just don't get used and led on by a girl that didn't even like you and used you to get closer to one of your best friends, k kiddo?
Relationships are always tough at this age. You really want that one person who makes you feel special, but then again, the relationship is lucky to last more than 4 years.
Or 4 months
Exactly four months
Then again in my school it's rare to have one longer than 4 days
I feel like a weight has lifted my shoulders a bit. Not DarkSpyro related again.
Very glad I am not the only one that found his 'trolling' actually offensive. I mean using trolling as a excuse to be racist and continuing to do 'trolling' against another is just terrible. In fact that's the exact opposite of trolling. It's just harassment.
---
If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest
icon from Empoh
As much as I like working at Whole Foods, I absolutely hate bring a cashier. Its repetitive, boring and so confusing! Im not entirely sure its good for my anxiety either.
I was a cashier for a bit today then asked to front run (get carts outside, which I LOVE doing) then someone came in to replace me and i was asked to cashier again. I almost felt like crying.
Im not gonna quit because WF pays well and I do everything I need to do well, I just needed to get this out.
---
Hey is there anything you want me to bring for the rest of the week and if so it’s so cool that you can do something and just do it like that
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 22:06:32 15/09/2015 by HeyitsHotDog
As much as I like working at Whole Foods, I absolutely hate bring a cashier. Its repetitive, boring and so confusing! Im not entirely sure its good for my anxiety either.
I was a cashier for a bit today then asked to front run (get carts outside, which I LOVE doing) then someone came in to replace me and i was asked to cashier again. I almost felt like crying.
Im not gonna quit because WF pays well and I do everything I need to do well, I just needed to get this out.
I could never be a cashier. So much quick math. I really struggle with all math, including basic addition. Like if you ask me 45+68, it'd probably take me about 5-10 seconds to get it.
And I would love getting the carts outside because I can ride them!
As much as I like working at Whole Foods, I absolutely hate bring a cashier. Its repetitive, boring and so confusing! Im not entirely sure its good for my anxiety either.
I was a cashier for a bit today then asked to front run (get carts outside, which I LOVE doing) then someone came in to replace me and i was asked to cashier again. I almost felt like crying.
Im not gonna quit because WF pays well and I do everything I need to do well, I just needed to get this out.
I could never be a cashier. So much quick math. I really struggle with all math, including basic addition. Like if you ask me 45+68, it'd probably take me about 5-10 seconds to get it.
And I would love getting the carts outside because I can ride them!
You sadly cant ride the carts
My math skills are trash too. I hate math.
BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I HATE CASHIER!
---
Hey is there anything you want me to bring for the rest of the week and if so it’s so cool that you can do something and just do it like that
As much as I like working at Whole Foods, I absolutely hate bring a cashier. Its repetitive, boring and so confusing! Im not entirely sure its good for my anxiety either.
I was a cashier for a bit today then asked to front run (get carts outside, which I LOVE doing) then someone came in to replace me and i was asked to cashier again. I almost felt like crying.
Im not gonna quit because WF pays well and I do everything I need to do well, I just needed to get this out.
I could never be a cashier. So much quick math. I really struggle with all math, including basic addition. Like if you ask me 45+68, it'd probably take me about 5-10 seconds to get it.
And I would love getting the carts outside because I can ride them!
You sadly cant ride the carts :(
My math skills are trash too. I hate math.
BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I HATE CASHIER!
That's such a disappointment :(
I'd want cart races.
Math is asssssss
I had no idea what I was getting into when I made those things, did I? Now I'm stuck in a loop. If I quit working on it, someone else has to make it, possibly badly. If I keep working on them, I have to work on things I don't want to work on until they stop announcing things. I guess that's how he feels, just on a much, much, much lower level...
I can probably give up the smaller one, but that'll take so long it's barely worth planning currently. No idea what I'm going to do with the big two.
The voice is back. She is telling me I am nothing. I am ugly. I am forgettable. She hasnt told me to hurt yet but I am scared. I dont know what to do. She yells at me and tells me He wont love me. She tells me he wont ever love me again... I want to just curl up and cry
Stupid chest infection, cant stop coughing
--- I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
I think it should be pretty obvious that I'm already in your class…well, maybe except for the fact that we sit really far away. But still, you could see me entering or leaving.
---
"sTORM, my parents just told me something that RUINED MY LIFE. DID YOU KNOW that Smarties have different flavors?!" ~ShadowMewX
stupid ****ing ***** insists she knows how to care for her fisH BUT THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO PROVE SHE HASNT DONE ****
WHEN I ASKED HER WHAT TYPE OF GOLDFISH THEY ARE SHE SAYS "THEY'RE JUST GOLDFISH"
LATER CLASSIFIES THEM AS FEEDER FISH (WAY TO SHOW QUALITY FISHKEEPING)
THROWS 5 GOLDFISH (3 COMMONS!!!!!!!!!) IN A TINY 10 GALLON TANK WITH NO PLANTS
DID NOT QUARANTINE HER NEW FISH AT ALL
ONE OF HER FISH MIGHT HAVE AMMONIA BURNS
THINKS 80 DEGREES F IS A GOOD TEMPERATURE
HONESTLY HAS NO CLUE WHAT KIND OF GOLDFISH THEY ARE
CONSTANTLY IGNORES ME WHEN I ASK WHAT WATER CONDITIONER SHE USES
REFUSED TO FEED SKINNED PEAS ONCE A WEEK BECAUSE THEY'RE "HUMAN FOOD" (I SUPPOSE SNICKERS GROW IN THE BUSHES IN THE RAINFOREST THEN HUH)
THROWS A RAINBOW SHARK IN WITH THE MESS
THINKS HER RAINBOW SHARK DIED OF OLD AGE WHEN IT WAS AMMONIA POISONING W/ SWIM BLADDER DISORDER
THINKS FISH ONLY LIVE FOR A YEAR
ONLY DID WATER CHANGES ONCE A WEEK
CUT IT DOWN TO TWICE A DAY WHEN I KEPT BUGGING HER ABOUT IT
FINALLY DOES THEM EVERY DAY
FED THEM FLAKES
A LOT MORE ****
oh my god does the list go on and on
RAGE RAGE RAGE
Some people shouldn't ****ing keep pets.
.....
PART 2:
i keep explaining to her that common goldfish are not meant to be kept in aquariums, especially ones that small and shes INSISTING THEY'RE FINE :) :) :)
common goldfish can get 1-2 feet long and if their growth is too stunted and are kept in areas extremely small their organs will grow and the spine will curve which will squish the organs and kill the fish but yet she doesn't seem to want to give them away
i feel so bad for those fish, just so bad
i keep explaining to her that common goldfish are not meant to be kept in aquariums, especially ones that small and shes INSISTING THEY'RE FINE :) :) :)
common goldfish can get 1-2 feet long and if their growth is too stunted and are kept in areas extremely small their organs will grow and the spine will curve which will squish the organs and kill the fish but yet she doesn't seem to want to give them away
i feel so bad for those fish, just so bad
She's clearly not all too smart about caring for fish. She'll learn the hard way, which is unfortunate for the fish.
Try showing her pictures of the result of improper conditions for them?
.....
when her fish die she just buys new fish
i will but currently she's ignoring me anyway lets stop the chain now be4 i get in trouble lmao
I think of this all the time , and it must be important if I can't seem to get it outta my head. Something isn't right. Something isn't there. I know , it's the type of situation where you can feel it. I don't quite know what it is , but this isn't gonna work out. I'm sorry ... It's just that I felt different last time we were in this situation. That was three years ago. Yes , I know you can't quite compare both times because things have changed , yes I understand. However, what I don't understand are many aspects in this situation. Why aren't I happy/excited? It's a good change, but all I can feel is doubt. Yes , I don't like change , I have a hard time adapting to such changes but this is different. I was even younger then , I would expect myself to be even sadder three years ago. I wasn't sad at all , I was excited , happy , all that until it didn't work out. I trusted him more , not as if I don't trust this guy but I don't really know. Maybe it's because I actually knew him (and so did you) for a long while back ? I've got a feeling in my gut and it's not a good one.
Oh , how I wish things were like the way they were before
I love you , yes it's been a difficult week so far with so much going on and you didn't even care , you helped me through it. I'm so lucky <3