darkSpyro

It's okay to be sad over rejection. The problem is acting like you had "earned" something from that person. The term "friend zone" is indicative of entitlement. That, and it paints friendship as being less valuable than a relationship, which is 100% wrong.

Fight me on this.

"I fight for you not because I love you, but because you are my friend."

We all need to be more like Ike

Quote: Metallo

Quote: BigBoom

Maybe it's just me, but if someone said to me "I only like you as a friend" I would cherish that friendship rather than act angsty and treat them like a waste of time because I loved that person for who they are, not their 20lb booty package.

People aren't objects to me.

This has nothing to do with sex. At all.

I wasn't talking about anything vaguely related to you. At all.

I was contrasting my own attitude to a someone else's of which I had no one in particular in mind.

But the thing is, you girlfriendzoned them first.

Quote: Ice Dragoness

But the thing is, you girlfriendzoned them first.

Quote of the year.

Actually that's a resplendent point. I don't know why I never thought to put it like that.

Quote: Ice Dragoness

But the thing is, you girlfriendzoned them first.

darkSpyro Logic:

"It's okay if someone only has platonic feelings for another."
"You only have romantic feelings for someone? Shame on you, patriarchal pig!"

Never in this topic did I say it was wrong to friendzone someone. I only said that it hurts and people who use the term shouldn't be bashed for it.

Quote: Metallo

I know and understand that being nice to someone does not entitle you to a relationship with them.


That being said, it burns like Hell when you pour every ounce of your being into them and they choose someone who would never do the same. Nothing can dull that kind of pain.


So please, the next time someone uses the term, try not to turn into a huge social justice warrior and make them feel even worse.

Being a good friend is better than being a mediocre partner, because some people make a big effort to win someone else's affections and then it will start to slowly fade because once they have them why bother to try anymore?

I've seen it numerous times with my friends and i'd rather be the person who is there when they need me than the one causing the pain.

Relationships of any kind are never an easy thing, and someone usually ends up getting hurt because they're in a different place.

The best advice i could give you is be patient, in time your feelings might change and you decide that this isn't who you want to be with and you'd regret wanting to jump in and ruining what you already have.

Quote: Metallo

darkSpyro Logic:

"It's okay if someone only has platonic feelings for another."
"You only have romantic feelings for someone? Shame on you, patriarchal pig!"

Never in this topic did I say it was wrong to friendzone someone. I only said that it hurts and people who use the term shouldn't be bashed for it.

darkSpyro Logic:

Everyone in the topic is talking to me, and only to me.

Quote: Ice Dragoness

But the thing is, you girlfriendzoned them first.

lmao that's a good one

i'm not going to say who, but someone on this site liked me more than a friend. i did notice that he was acting rather kind towards me and i was wondering if maybe he liked me more than a friend, but i didn't know whether i was just over reacting or not, so i didn't say anything because if i was overreacting than that would be really awkward. later he did told me he liked me more than a friend, and i pretty much gave him a friend zone speech, in which he replied that he didn't want to be my friend anymore, and i was upset. in the end he decided to still stay friends with me, but our friendship went downhill after that.

so as a person who had to 'friend zone' that other person, it also really hurts knowing that other person actually likes you more than a friend (and it hurts even more when they decide not to be friends with you anymore just because you don't feel the same way), because it means that friendship you had with that other person is now stained and you can't really be friends with that other person the same way anymore unless they're willing to move on (in which it's difficult for them to do so). and you probably sometimes just wish you did like that person back to make everything easier, but unfortunately your brain seems to say otherwise (I know I did). and i know i can't say for other people in this situation, but i personally felt really bad, guilty, sad knowing that i've probably lost a friend, etc. so people who have to give the friend zone speech also have it hard too.

Quote: DarkCynder_543

Quote: Ice Dragoness

But the thing is, you girlfriendzoned them first.

lmao that's a good one

i'm not going to say who, but someone on this site liked me more than a friend. i did notice that he was acting rather kind towards me and i was wondering if maybe he liked me more than a friend, but i didn't know whether i was just over reacting or not, so i didn't say anything because if i was overreacting than that would be really awkward. later he did told me he liked me more than a friend, and i pretty much gave him a friend zone speech, in which he replied that he didn't want to be my friend anymore, and i was upset. in the end he decided to still stay friends with me, but our friendship went downhill after that.

so as a person who had to 'friend zone' that other person, it also really hurts knowing that other person actually likes you more than a friend (and it hurts even more when they decide not to be friends with you anymore just because you don't feel the same way), because it means that friendship you had with that other person is now stained and you can't really be friends with that other person the same way anymore unless they're willing to move on (in which it's difficult for them to do so). and you probably sometimes just wish you did like that person back to make everything easier, but unfortunately your brain seems to say otherwise (I know I did). and i know i can't say for other people in this situation, but i personally felt really bad, guilty, sad knowing that i've probably lost a friend, etc. so people who have to give the friend zone speech also have it hard too.

zer0dch?

^He Who Must Not Be Named

maybe

Quote: Metallo

Quote: Ice Dragoness

But the thing is, you girlfriendzoned them first.

darkSpyro Logic:

"It's okay if someone only has platonic feelings for another."
"You only have romantic feelings for someone? Shame on you, patriarchal pig!"

Never in this topic did I say it was wrong to friendzone someone. I only said that it hurts and people who use the term shouldn't be bashed for it.

Again, no one was talking to you.

Listen, we're not saying that the term "Friendzone" is a bad thing. It's the way people treat the Friendzone. There are some people who will treat it well, and instead of moaning it actually creates a stronger bond. This happened with me and my best friend, I confessed my feelings for him and despite rejecting me he actually BECAME my best friend through that confession. Friendzone blessed me.
However a lot, and I mean A LOT, of people use the Friendzone as a "Be all end all." They treat it as if it was created by the devil himself, only used for endless torment and pain. And that's stupid. That's what we're calling out on.

Metallo, I understand your pain. A lot of people do, and it hurts. But the Friendzone is NOT something you should call that pain. The word you're looking for is "unrequited love", because you're suggesting that being a friend with the person you love is not what you want. And if you don't even want to be close with them and make them happy as a friend, then what did you truly want?

Quote: TheFlyingSeal

Quote: Metallo

Quote: Ice Dragoness

But the thing is, you girlfriendzoned them first.

darkSpyro Logic:

"It's okay if someone only has platonic feelings for another."
"You only have romantic feelings for someone? Shame on you, patriarchal pig!"

Never in this topic did I say it was wrong to friendzone someone. I only said that it hurts and people who use the term shouldn't be bashed for it.

Again, no one was talking to you.

Listen, we're not saying that the term "Friendzone" is a bad thing. It's the way people treat the Friendzone. There are some people who will treat it well, and instead of moaning it actually creates a stronger bond. This happened with me and my best friend, I confessed my feelings for him and despite rejecting me he actually BECAME my best friend through that confession. Friendzone blessed me.
However a lot, and I mean A LOT, of people use the Friendzone as a "Be all end all." They treat it as if it was created by the devil himself, only used for endless torment and pain. And that's stupid. That's what we're calling out on.

Metallo, I understand your pain. A lot of people do, and it hurts. But the Friendzone is NOT something you should call that pain. The word you're looking for is "unrequited love", because you're suggesting that being a friend with the person you love is not what you want. And if you don't even want to be close with them and make them happy as a friend, then what did you truly want?

Good for you. Some people can.


But a lot of people can't.


Btw, this didn't actually happen to me (at least, not recently). It's just a subject I felt like talking about.