darkSpyro

The only way:



Seriously speaking, there is no such thing as a "friend zone", okay? Take it from someone who hasn't been a virgin in years. The "friend zone" is just a name that people came up with for being rejected because they weren't interesting/attractive/likable enough. It's an abstract concept that encourages a flawed way of thinking, because blaming others/feeling self-pity doesn't help jack ****.

Think of a relationship as an exchange, a trade, because that's basically what it is. It's like a deal of trust and certain obligations, and if you blow it the deal breaks.
Let's say that you really like a girl for reasons which are (obviously) known to you. That's what you're getting out of the deal. What is she getting out of it? You wouldn't take a rotten deal if you were offered one, why would she?

Women judge you according to their own values, so if you're the one that wants a relationship, you're the one who is going to have to make sacrifices. You're going to have to ask yourself: "What kind of a person would they want to have a relationship with? What can I offer to the girl I like?"
If your answer is "nothing in particular" or "a really nice bf", then get bent. Anybody can be nice. You have to have something that interests her enough for her to want to be more than friends. To quote the old meme, women are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out. It's not like a video game where you just talk to them and get points. They've got brains and they're using them.

The best kind of a situation would obviously be the one in which initially both you and the girl want a relationship. That's when you don't have to change to suit the girls needs, or vice versa. In this kind of a situation both participants automatically feel the need to keep the relationship going.
However, as this is (sadly) rarely the case, either the girl or the guy has to change for the other, or there will never be a relationship.
Now, obviously you should not change for the other person in ways that make you feel uncomfortable. Otherwise it will feel like a bad relationship, and you'll regret it.

Anyway, if you ever want to even the odds of that best kind of a situation taking place, you can always plan ahead. Be more attractive to people.
Pick a style that you like and looks good on you. Take care of your body and your looks, that's not being vain, it's being conscious of your own status.
Work on your outlook on life. Be positive and calm. Nothing has "maturity" written all over it like calmness, and positive people are always the most popular people.
Form a big circle of friends. You make people know you by knowing a lot of people, and you meet new people mostly through your friends/people you already know. The more friends you have, the more important you are in any social circle, and that's a plus.

Also, just to be clear. When I talk about "changing" I don't necessarily mean having to change who you are. I'm just talking about changing the factors involved, like social status, looks or income.

I hope this little rant helps you in some way.

Quote: somePerson

Quote: Samius

The only way:



*snip*

But lifting is hard.

Yeah? A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor.

Quote: Metallo

One thing I'd like to add to Samius's answer:


Get a vision. Find your passion in life and constantly work towards it. It could be a career goal, a certain cause you want to work for, anything like that. A real woman appreciates a man who is fulfilling himself and doing something with his life. Of course, this has its own purpose - by no means am I saying to do this just to get a girl. But any person that's worth being with will likely find you more attractive.

Yeah, this is also a good point. Many people say that you have to love yourself in order to love others/be loved. A sort of internal integrity and direction.
While I don't think that's completely true, a man is only as good as what he does. Reliability and motivation are very positive traits, and that's something you can learn through hobbies, jobs, etc.

Quote: Coocie2

The friendzone doesn't exist lol


edit: samius you're perfect and your post is perfect thank you

I just saw 5 minutes ago that this topic was back on top, and I knew you would find it eventually.

Quote: Coocie2

you said everything I wanted to say and saved me the trouble thank u!!!
honestly not many people understand this concept and i'm glad i could educate people on it

I'm glad I could help.