darkSpyro

I feel like I have Social Anxiety but at the same time I feel like I don't because I feel like I'm just making myself believe that or something ridiculous. I have a hard time talking to teachers( most ), cashiers, anybody I don't know, my parents sometimes and even my good friends at times. Also, I cry more often than I should as a 14 year old male. I cry when someone is being aggressive towards me, when I feel like someone is being aggressive, I start crying when talking about my personal problems and when someone gets angry at me for making a mistake. Sometimes I even have intrusive suicidal or homicidal like thoughts, which scare me though these only happen during one of my episodes. My mother thinks it is drama while my father thinks that I should 'go take a walk. I have hard times speaking in front of people/presenting and I procrastinate talking to people. In PE. I always felt like trash and would have an episode when I got home. My mother tells me I should be more active and such which I think I should but I am afraid to and I don't know why. I always feel horrible when I ask my mother for things, like I am taking advantage of her which I try not to and try buying my own things with my own money. Sometimes I regret posting things here and just want to delete the post. I try not to be mean to people and I always hate being around people since I feel uncomfortable. I tend to stutter sometimes when talking to people but I don't most of the time. I hate being in school because when I go there I cheat on my math homework ( to get at least an 80% ) and just hope the teacher doesn't notice, all because I want to impress my parents who don't even care if I get good grades but if I get a C they start yelling at me. Recently, I did something and someone responded with "oh my god you’re going to spam the __ tag with every goddamn ________ can you not"(removed things for reasons) which gave a burst of fear when I read it. I don't know why because now that I look back at it, it wasn't even that bad. I don't even know anymore, do you guys think I have social anxiety or am I just making this up because I want attention or something I dont know Ugh.

Quote: Underian

I feel like I have Social Anxiety but at the same time I feel like I don't because I feel like I'm just making myself believe that or something ridiculous. I have a hard time talking to teachers( most ), cashiers, anybody I don't know, my parents sometimes and even my good friends at times. Also, I cry more often than I should as a 14 year old male. I cry when someone is being aggressive towards me, when I feel like someone is being aggressive, I start crying when talking about my personal problems and when someone gets angry at me for making a mistake. Sometimes I even have intrusive suicidal or homicidal like thoughts, which scare me though these only happen during one of my episodes. My mother thinks it is drama while my father thinks that I should 'go take a walk. I have hard times speaking in front of people/presenting and I procrastinate talking to people. In PE. I always felt like trash and would have an episode when I got home. My mother tells me I should be more active and such which I think I should but I am afraid to and I don't know why. I always feel horrible when I ask my mother for things, like I am taking advantage of her which I try not to and try buying my own things with my own money. Sometimes I regret posting things here and just want to delete the post. I try not to be mean to people and I always hate being around people since I feel uncomfortable. I tend to stutter sometimes when talking to people but I don't most of the time. I hate being in school because when I go there I cheat on my math homework ( to get at least an 80% ) and just hope the teacher doesn't notice, all because I want to impress my parents who don't even care if I get good grades but if I get a C they start yelling at me. Recently, I did something and someone responded with "oh my god you’re going to spam the __ tag with every goddamn ________ can you not"(removed things for reasons) which gave a burst of fear when I read it. I don't know why because now that I look back at it, it wasn't even that bad. I don't even know anymore, do you guys think I have social anxiety or am I just making this up because I want attention or something I dont know Ugh.

You just explained my life, I'm really sorry about what you're going tho.

I must say I'm going through same stages of depression, I'm thinking about suicidal thoughts most of the time, which scares me I must say. Always before I right a post, I'm always checking and saying to myself "oh ****, will they get upset, maybe I should just edit the post and say I didn't mean something." I think I just care about what people say too much.

I have this thing. Say I see one of my old friends in a shopping center and if I was to scream "hello!" to them and the didn't answer back(which the positive side was they didn't hear me) I would be all embarrassed and for the whole night I will keep thinking this person hates me, so I decide to avoid them the next day, which is definitely not the best idea... Which I'm making things much worse then they turned out.

My parents obviously care for me succeeding and doing well in a test but if I was to get all Cs, my parents wouldn't care, they would just be proud of me that I at least completed the test and tried my very best...

This happened when I was much younger and sort if still happens, I'm nervous if I was to walk to a total stranger, cashiers or teachers. I'm just that person that thinks "oh no, what if I say something wrong, and I fail! What if I'm too boring, or stutter in my words!" I have an insider of when someone is rolling their eyes at me without looking at them, or when they think I'm a complete fool and just want me to piss off...

As about the internet, social part. I'm just going to say this, it's hard to show someone you're joking or giving some sort of particular humour in the text. Okay, I know there is the using lower case letters, and the bad grammar. But it's really hard to see how people will react. If I post something that I'm not confident others will react pleasantly too, I would be scared and when the person replies to my message I get a mini-heart attack, fast heart beat and cross my fingers they don't get angry, or take offence to something I don't mean.

As someone with anxiety myself, I noticed your symptoms do point to having social anxiety (although I'm not a professional and if you want a more in-depth analysis I'd recommend getting a counselor). All I can really say at the moment is that it does get better but to improve I'm afraid you have to go out of your comfort zone. I used to be terrified of talking to cashiers and teachers and over the course of a year i have gradually become more and more comfortable and used to doing it. The key really is to slowly ease yourself into the things that make you very anxious and it may seem like a terrifying prospect at first but it really does get better, and you do have the courage to improve, don't worry. As for procrastinating talking to people, it really is best to just get it out of the way instead of putting it off. I know it's easier said than done but the longer you wait the worse your anxiety will get, and once it builds up it will feel even worse afterwards. I've always thought of it like removing a band aid - it's best to just rip it off and get it over and done with.