So it happened about right after school. I was walking together with some friends, there were about four of us (three of them were my friends, the other was a girl I knew from school).
As we were walking, we passed a darkish-brown house, and then I noticed a tall, dark man, who was in standing in his front yard, staring at us, like we would be 'perfect' for his new collection of young, innocent children.
He was Caucasian, dark-blonde; presumably in his mid-20s, and few inches more bigger than me.
So, as we walked past his house, he started to wave at us. Just a simple, old, casual wave.
I smiled back, then continued to walk down the street, pacing a tad bit faster this time. Just when I was hoping he wouldn't say anything (I'm an extremely awkward person), I heard a voice ask us if we would like to eat some candy.
I turned, and I saw the same man who was standing in his front yard; tall, dark, caucasian, wearing sunglasses.
I didn't seem to really understand his question at first; and I was beginning to feel intimidated. He was starting to give me the impression that he was a pedophile.
I didn't how to reply to his question at all, so I continued to walk past the street, hurriedly this time. But he didn't stop there; He started to chase us down the lane--we ran for our lives.
We eventually made a it a few kilometres, and so we finally turned around to see if he was still chasing us. He was gone.
As we continued to walk down the street, I noticed something strange in the corner of my eye. It had appeared to be a black car, with one of those shaded windows where you can't see inside. I had a bad feeling about it.
Suddenly, the car brakes where slammed beside us, and I saw the same man who chased us down the street. He was holding what looked like one of those large garbage bin bags.
The man grabbed the girl who was walking with us (who I only recently found out her name), shoving the bin-bag over her head. The rest of us; completely HORRIFIED at the scene, ran, while we still could.
I didn't even bother to turn my face until we reached the end of the street. I have no idea what happened to the girl after that; all I heard was a small fade of screaming in the distance before I left the street.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I feel so horrible right now.
Then again, people don't care.
I have nothing to live for right now.
But I can't say why because they're watching what I post.
They're waiting for the moment to make me feel like crap for feeling depressed.
If I died today, they'd be freakin' happy. They'd say, "Well, she won't be a burden to us anymore. Now we can be truly happy without her!"
And that other lady? Oh, she'd be ECSTATIC if I died. She'd tell everyone, "She won't be bothering us anymore! Now we won't have to deal with such a nuisance like her!"
If I don't have the gall to kill myself, why can't someone kill me for me? Or better yet, why can't the purge just happen for one day over here so I can get myself killed by someone else?
---
Happiness comes from pain. If you do not get through the pain, you do not get the happiness in the long run.
All i've done is hurt everyone.. I tried helping, I really did, but all I did was make everything bad, i've broken people, i've shattered them. Let me pay the price aand die for it.. I havent eaten, I refuse to sleep, but I deserve death, I deserve the worse punishment, a slow, painful death. I hope I get hit by a car, I hope I had enough courage to jump off a building.. eeveryone would be happy, then? You would all be happier if I was dead. I know all of you are happier when im not here, if I could, i'd lock myself up in my room. Even now, you're all happier when im over here, by myself, I can hear you all laughing and giggling.
Who the hell needs me? Who would even trust me now? I'll keep on wearing this mask. You dont need to know this.
---
Hesitant Captain, it's too late to turn back around. The party is waiting and leaving this earth is such a beautiful sound.
I haven't eaten a lot today.
No need to.
My stomach is tight, with my mind filled with anxious thoughts.
Is this getting blown out of proportion? This whole problem? Or is it getting the attention it needs to resolve?
People keep asking me things, but the answer I have is 'I don't know', and this is because I don't know. I don't know what to do, what to say, what to decide. My mind is jumbled with confused thoughts, frightening thoughts...but no happy thoughts have visited me yet. I don't know if they will. It really depends on what happens.
As for now, I'm going to sit here, alone, in my room, staring blankly at my computer screen, most likely not eating or drinking, waiting for the answer, and waiting for things to change, to good or to bad. If you are the servant of evil, does that make me the princess?
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 05:22:17 10/11/2014 by Spyro-Gamer
This is dangerous territory. I don't like having to say this stuff but at this point I don't think I have much of a choice. The pressure is on and there is now a time limit. You need to see what is going on.
This is dangerous territory. I don't like having to say this stuff but at this point I don't think I have much of a choice. The pressure is on and there is now a time limit. You need to see what is going on.
This is dangerous territory. I don't like having to say this stuff but at this point I don't think I have much of a choice. The pressure is on and there is now a time limit. You need to see what is going on.
*Not on DarkSpyro.*
Is that roleplay going where I think it's going? God that is freaking awkward for everybody. The little guy is awkward about it, I'm glad I'm not roleplaying on that site yet, because I am confused and awkward about it.
---
If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest
icon from Empoh
One day, I will finish (no, not make, FINISH) an MMD PV that will hit the feels of anyone who does not fully understand depression and anxiety. And by that, we're talking about people who think it's just a phase. It's not a phase. It's like a never ending nightmare that you can't wake up from. It's like a psychological horror movie, only worse: it's real.
------------------
---
Happiness comes from pain. If you do not get through the pain, you do not get the happiness in the long run.
Why am I getting so worked up about this? It shouldn't even matter. Maybe it would just be a nice little confidence boost and I don't really like the other party.
Well, I'm glad I'm finally getting over it.
I mean I'm still upset and angry, but I'm slowly getting over it.
-:-
I should have expected this. You've done this a few times before, and I don't like it.
Thanks for cancelling plans. Maybe it's for the best.
Why do I continue to fail with all of you? Why can't I get a smile or sustained happiness from you guys or even myself? Why do you guys keep closed off?
My patience is wearing off, mom.
I'd like to go home now.
You better be lucky that I am mature enough to not swear at you.
This is why I really freakin' hate having to wait for you to take me home from work due to your retardedness that is called computer illiteracy.
I freakin' hate you for this.
I'm gonna piss you off the same way you did when I get the chance. Just like how you laughed at me for being so mad, I'll laugh at you and possibly treat you worse.
---
Happiness comes from pain. If you do not get through the pain, you do not get the happiness in the long run.
Thank you so much. I owe you one.
-:-
I don't like it when I have this nervous feeling. I just get confuzzled with a bunch of thoughts and I get this odd feeling in my stomach.
I have to wait.
-:-
I apologize for the times when I act rude towards anyone. Little things sometimes piss me off and lately it's been happening a lot due to recent events.
YES! YES! YES! >=D
I get to go look at a S-10 tomorrow after work
If everything goes well (and I'm hoping it does), it'll be hello truck and good bye $2200
SOOOOOOO00 PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE LET EVERYTHING GO WELL TOMORROW!
I WANT TO HAVE A S-10 AGAIN!
May the Valkyries welcome you and lead you through Odin's great battlefield. May they sing your name with love and fury, so that we might hear it rise from the depths of Valhalla and know that you've taken your rightful place at the table of kings. For a great man has fallen: A warrior. A chieftain. A father. A friend.
Maybe is because I treat them with complete understanding and do my best to show that I'm not irritated. Which is easy, because I don't get angry easily. No matter how many times I get yelled at by them, all I do is show my full attention and do my best to show them that I understand. And kinda give a lecture too if I don't have anyone else waiting for me. So basically, I treat them with calmness, respect, and understanding. Maybe that's why I have an easier time with them and all that I said before. Since what they say doesn't bother me. The only thing that'll bother me is if they hit me, because I can't hit them back since I need the job.
Maybe you should treat them like you would like to be treated. Or something along those lines. >~>
I'm not letting my feelings get in the way again of rational thought, no matter how badly I want to talk to my friends, I'll leave them be if they want me to, I won't help unless asked, I'll keep my problems to myself and even though I never did it anyways, I won't pry on anything...They'll receive my show of care when they need or want it...I'll care inside but if someone doesn't want it on the outside, then I won't bring it on the outside.
I'll go back to my old ways, unless I'm wanted the way I am now...Because I know I've been immature, and it was more selfish of me to force my help upon people who didn't want it...If people want to talk me individually, then they have to talk to me. I'm not forcing anyone to listen to me anymore because that's what I've done when I talk.
I'm who I used to be again...I knew that was inside all along, it was the cold, the snow that was always there, and it has frozen my heart again, I'll close the door, close myself up again to protect myself from the cold, the warmth will be hidden deep inside once again.
--- Like fallen snow, I lay on the ground and wait for my turn to fade away, no matter how unique I seem. It's my gift to you... A true sacrifice...
Gems: 5317
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and the worst part is that it is my fault! >–<
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darkspyro
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