darkSpyro

**** yes. <3

I think I have developed a crush on you again.
This is exactly what I don't want! I can't fall for you again when we're all leaving in a couple of weeks! Most likely I'll never see you again, and you know what that's going to do? It's going to crack my heart. And that's because I still like you. I thought I had gotten over you, but obviously not. Ever since you did what you did to me, the feelings have been growing back. After what you did I shouldn't like you back. But it brought back a small spark. Not for you, but for me.
However, you piss me off so much, but I can't help smile whenever you talk in class. And it's either a bad or good day for you. And it usually shows when we text each other. Sometimes you act like you really don't give a shiz, like for example, Wednesday last week, and then two days later you act completely different and seem to want me, example Friday last week. My feelings are so conflicted and I'm so confused about what you want and don't want and how you feel. You've told me how you feel about me, but I still don't understand why you want to do these things with me. I know one reason, which is most likely true, but is that all?
Another problem is brought up with this. I love someone else, and yet I'm taking a liking to you. Heck, I also have a tiny crush on someone else online, but I don't even know about that one anymore because I don't know if it will develop or just die off like my other little crushes. But the problem is, you're always ****ing there. I see you at school every single ****ing day, and that's when my feelings activate and I try to glance at you whenever I can. And then I decide to act like a ****ing idiot and I always regret how I act around you because I usually say something stupid and then hit myself in the head a few minutes after we talk. I did that today. I really need to think about what to say around you, or just stay silent.
I feel like crying about all of this. I just want the confusing feelings to stop. And I need to get over you, because we're never going to get back together and you're going to be gone soon.
But...there is one thing I want. I want one day with you. One day to hang out with you, so I can feel happiness with you. And so I can beat you at Gran Turismo 4.

It's so easy for you, isn't it? So ****ing easy.
You all have MONEY. That's it right there. You all have ****ing money. Or your parents will give you a hundred dollars or so to go buy a few new games. It's as simple as that.
For me? No. I NEVER get money to buy anything I want. And I have never ever been given any games for my birthday or christmas time in my entire life. And if I have, I've used MY money I was given on my birthday or Christmas to buy it for myself.
You guys don't have to wait. You easily pre-order it or whatever, or ask your parents to buy it for you and everything is nice and dandy. As for myself, I have to wait. Wait until I get money, or wait until it's at a low enough price and hope my parents have decided to be kind enough to buy it for me.
I understand some of you have jobs. SOME OF YOU. But for the rest of you, you can just take money out of nowhere or get it from your parents and buy what you want.
And while you guys are happy playing together, I'm sitting here in the corner, watching, upset. By the time I get this game, you would have all lost interest and I'll have no one to play against.
Life isn't fair. That's what you think about yours. But you know what? It is fair for you. You get what you want. And as for me?
I get ****ing nothing.