darkSpyro

I've lost motivation to even do anything... and I keep failing my math test.
And barely anyone is there to even help me get back on my feet again...
Does life really hate me this much?
Does life really want me to die this badly?

My life is great. I love my family. I love living. So why do I always feel so upset? I'm never happy anymore. I hate talking. I hate being around people, I feel like I'm a burden. I always feel awful all the time and I don't know why. I don't know why I'm always sad. I have no reason to be. I don't know why I always feel like everyone hates me. I know they don't. But knowing doesn't get rid of the feeling. I always feel sad, I never have a reason behind it. I always feel like crying, but I have nothing to cry about. I always feel like I'm worthless **** and sometimes I just don't have the motivation to tell myself I'm not.

My life is so happy.
So why am I so sad?
Not knowing why is what's worst.

~~~~~

Worthless **** like me doesn't deserve to breathe this air.

If my eyes weren't so dry. I think I would have cried for that scene. Holy ****. I have been warned about this anime being sad.

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I'd really like a hot chocolate right now. If only the coffee shop was open during lunch.

I try a question to ask for an answer, I have no truth for lies in love and hate. I describe my loyalty in pain and horror, as I turn upside down in my own blood. It is a rather complicated situation. I find it hard to believe myself, for which I would strike and defeat. I also avoid and defend. I can go into two different directions, the most common one is the less useful one. It drives me insane, insane is a nice elaboration of my expression, well good said I think. Is this what love is? Well if so, fine with me. Is this what hate is? Well I can give you a helping hand if you are looking for that answer, relating to the just given question. There is a logical explanation to be added to the subtitle of this content side story. Well unconfirmed and unrelated additions, well that isn't necessary.

Today as we left school, these people were trying to give a bible to everyone. I REALLY wanted that when one was about to give me on, to say I was gay. I would love to have seen what they did oh my god.

Ooh... You gonna get it now, son!

life = complete

are you happy about what youve done? are you, you traitor? what, don't have the guts to tell me why you did this? of course, of course.

It sucks being sick

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Ugh... happy birthday jerk. I remember hanging out with you at this time last year. I was madly in love with you, today I feel terrible seeing the little notification. You never loved me, but you led me on for 9 months then broke my heart. I hope you are happy, dumbass... i hope your happy...

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Thats it. I've fallen apart. I'm crying and I can't stop. I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you, I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for the one I love now. I am literally disgusted by myself. Looking at myself in the mirror gives me the need to throw up. I hate myself so much. I was doing so well, what is wrong with me? I'm a filthy fat pig. my dreams will never come true, everyone who told me they loved me lied so why would the people now be any different? I hate this. I hate myself. I was doing so well but the scratchings gonna start again. And just before I have to go and spend time with family. I'll have to be faking a smile the whole time. I cant take this! I CANT TAKE IT!

All I say is rubbish, all I do is annoy people, I cant help anyone anymore. So why talk? Why act? Why do anything? I should just go.. disappear.. anywhere.. Besides, no one would miss me, and no one would know.

-

That pain I got in my heart today, it scared the hell out of me, it still hurts now.. am I going to be okay?

Me: Mom, would you support me if I did this?
Mom: Yes, but I'm a conservative and these are my beliefs so no, I don't support you.
Me: Okay...

For You
I would bring down the Heavens on this Earth

i know where most of my problems originate from. people holding a tight cage around me. i can't act or dress the way i want because i'll be setting a "bad example" or it's just "not like you to be like that." and the main one is: "you can't go to acting school unless social services think it's safe" BUT THEY AREN'T MY PARENTS ARE THEY??

I would prefer it if you spoke to me rather than drop conversations and disappear. It's kinda rude. At least tell me that you have to leave or don't have anything left to say.

I'm beginning to lose hope in everything.
Why can't someone just kill me?

one year ago on this day...

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun..

You have to be that one who lets me down, the one who ruins me, the one who lives with me, well now its my turn and now I feel like a bad guy from a ****ing marvel movie. **** you too.

Do you ever feel like you aren't real? Or maybe that when you speak no one really hears you...
I'm not real am I?

You know, my life hasn't seen the most accomplishments or recognition in the grand scheme of things. But you, you literally only exist to keep people down, in reality, you are simply a waste of human life.

Quote: Riku-sempai

All I say is rubbish, all I do is annoy people, I cant help anyone anymore. So why talk? Why act? Why do anything? I should just go.. disappear.. anywhere.. Besides, no one would miss me, and no one would know.

-

That pain I got in my heart today, it scared the hell out of me, it still hurts now.. am I going to be okay?

Well if you talk about it on here then everyone one will know -___-

I'm sorry... goodbye...

- - -

Again and again, it will always be my fault. I'm sorry for all of this, everyone.

Uhhhhhhgggggggg tomorrow I have science and writing bleh

You make me uncomfortable to be there. I felt welcome and at home there when you weren't.

Sometimes I wonder why life has to suck so much......then I remember I'm more well off than others.

Soraka..my baby..what have they done to you? ;^;

Good bye, good night, I will not be missed.
You are better off without me, I am sure...

sorry school just makes everything difficult

Making you happy brings me such happiness. I will keep doing it no matter what

One day, I will get that reply.

Today, tomorrow, next year.

I don't care, I don't care...

I will get that message back, and both of our lives will be complete once again.