darkSpyro

I just woke up from a really weird dream. It was when my brother, best friend and I were randomly playing the GameCube and having a blast, with nothing other than homework to worry about. Includes in that dream was also a time when my Dad wasn't gone for such long periods of times, before he aged quite a bit.

The thing that is really getting to me is that how old my parents are now and how they're probably not going to be around when I get married (my dad has actually spoken about this), and the sorts.

It already sucks that I can't hang out with my best friend and brother (we basically are the triplets! haha) as much anymore since we all have our own thing we need to do, whether it's going to college and moving across the country, or immediately working and moving up.

I just really hate that my Dad couldn't have been there for my teenage years. It really bugs me. The little to no phone calla we would have with me asking "will you be up for my birthday" hurt. They hurt, incredibly bad.

I'm literally tearing up typing this.

I really wish I could go back to my earlier teenage years and have more fun (despite loving who I am today), but I also wish my Dad was around. I wish I took the offer and moved to the east coast with him. Now that I'm older, o regret not being able to enjoy a portion of my life with him. But, if I did that, I wouldn't be who I am today or know who my friends are.

Life is complicated. I wish my parents never split. I miss my father.

;.; I don't often get sad about things, people will often post stories about their lives but they never get me sad


This got me sad and I will now hug you *hugs*

Quote: Lunarz

;.; I don't often get sad about things, people will often post stories about their lives but they never get me sad


This got me sad and I will now hug you *hugs*

Thanks, man. I generally feel pretty upbeat and great...but I don't know what got to me. :/ I mean, I love who I am today. I love what I'm planning on doing for my future, but I wish he world could slow down for a bit. I want to do so many things, but I cannot.

For reference, I remember posting here when I was 14 years old. I remember casually speaking to users really often such as Coocie2, Black holes_wolf, cynder_Roxx, Carmelita, jimmy, etc. I know some of those people still post here, but they have their own important things to do, and so do I. Its not a matter of "hey, I want to tall to them", it's a matter of " I wish it were those days again, to be a bit younger".

And the thing with my father, not being able to be there for me during my teenage years really gets to me. He's a great man, and I respect him a lot. I look up to him and I always have since I was 8 and wanted to do what he did ever since. I just wish I took the opportunity to move in with him... But then again, he told me recently that he would do things differently if he could. Does that mean he wouldn't have lost the house? Would my parents still have split up? Would I have still lived back in our old house?

Thinking about all of this really sucks. I wish time was slower. I wish we all could just think before our actions.

Once again, I love who I've become and wouldn't change that...I just wish the days of hanging out with my best friends wasn't over, and I could still see my dad.

If my parents, especially my dad, were to pass before I hit my mid twenties, I don't know how I will think.

Regret? Probably..