darkSpyro

So I AM writing this novel about a young boy in the sixth grade named Chris with a strange talent- the ability to control and tame the darkness. This has made him a freak in his hometown, so he runs away. I am going to write the chapters on paper then post them on here, so I can later copy and paste them onto documents in my attempt to get it published. I will post the prologue today and I REALLY hope that I can get some feedback on it!



Darkness. Rain. Silence. More rain. This. This was the world as the outcast of civilization knew it as. There were no signs of life anywhere. Just the barren desert and the thick jungles. Anywhere outside of the barren wasteland could not be reached. The underbrush was THAT large. The world was barren, and cold. Was there life anywhere? Anywhere at ALL? Will I ever be able to restore life, and bring back what the plague took from me BEFORE it finds me and takes me too? Is there anyone left in the world? Or am I... Alone...

Chapter 1

These were the thoughts of the outcast. His family, and everybody else's, was plagued. Plagued by the dying world. He was the only survivor. Or so he thought. He thought that it was just him and the... shadows. The darkness was all that was there for him in his time of need. Well, that is what he thought. He didn't know for sure. He was not your average person, he was different. A special talent boiling inside of him. The darkness was his only friend. Then again, he never had true human friends before. His powers, according to his hometown, weren't a talent, they were a curse. Even his FAMILY saw him as a monstrosity, so one day, he ran from it all.

"Honey, we can't keep him here. He's too dangerous."
"Charles! We can't just abandon our own son!"
"What else can we do with him Laura? He isn't normal! Things will only get worse for everyone. The mayor is starting to get complaints from parents about him!"
"No! I just can't do it to him!"
"We have no choice. It's best for everyone."
"Great. Just great. So now I'm too much of a monstrosity to my own parents now," muttered Chris Winder. "Why can't I just be a normal kid? It's like I don't know how to do anything right. Well if I'm not wanted, then why am I still here?" Chris said to himself. Just then his sister Samantha barged into the room. "Oh great, here comes the queen," Chris whispered under his breath. He listened to what his family was saying about him.
"Mom, Dad, I can't take it anymore! Chris is really starting to scare me now! He mutters things about a dark future and shadows, and so many other truly horrific things! I can't take it!"
"Don't worry Samantha, we will take care of this."
Samantha was always the favorite. It was always about her and what she wanted. She saw the world that way too. So Chris just ran in yelling at his family.
" What's the matter Dad? Or should I even call you that anymore? If you really cared about me, you would be trying to help me, not trying to get RID of me! aM I so much of a freak of nature that I am hated by my own family? Well, I've had ENOUGH!' All of the lights shot out and the room was pitch black. "I'm leaving and never coming back. That'll make EVERYONE'S lives easier! So don't bother coming to look for me, though I'd be surprised if you did." Chris ran upstairs to his room and grabbed his phone, phone charger, and jacket. Then he came back downstairs and headed for the door. Before leaving, he yelled into the other room "Not going to miss you! I bet you can say the same!" And then he left. His hometown of Shallow Water never heard his voice again.

So, what do you guys think?

Great so far!

I'll be patient, but I can't wait for the next chapter.

Thanks! I will be posting chapter two either later today or early tomorrow.

Quote: thumper

Great so far!

I'll be patient, but I can't wait for the next chapter.

Actually, just for you being the first person to post, I'll type chapter two right now!

Chris started his journey by running through the thick underbrush that surrounded Shallow Water. This was where he spent most of his free time. The darkness was abundant in that thick forest that everyone avoided, but it was his sanctuary, his home of sanity. They were comforting to him, but this didn't always make his life easier. He was still a kid, almost a 13 year old, but his powers were very hard to control. His powers would be released when he didn't want them to. That was his main problem. As Chris wandered through the woods, he said this to himself- "What's wrong with me? Most people would usually see this as a talent. But it's nothing but a curse!" This caused him to not pay attention to his surroundings, so he ran into a tree and was knocked unconscious. He woke up about 2 hours later when he heard a strange and somewhat demonic voice, though he couldn't make out what it was saying. He called out, "Who's there? Hello?" No response was given, so he called again. Once again, nothing was heard but his echo. He figured he was just hearing things... but was he? He ignored it, but that voice never left his mind.

Chris continued through the forest. He didn't look back. There was no point in it. He ran for about 5 more minutes, then his phone rang. He figured it was his mom, but he checked anyway. It was an unknown number, and it didn't make any sense. Phone numbers have seven digits, but this one only had three. And they were the same number- all of them the number 6. He answered the phone to see what was happening. He heard a dark and deep voice come from the other line, and he couldn't make out what it was saying. ".uoy ot flesym leaver lliw I dna yhw tuo erugiF. rovivrus ylno eht eb lliw uoY. erom on eb noos lliw dlrow ehT. dlihc ynitsed ruoy llifluF." Chris said into the phone 'Who are you? And what do you want?" He looked at his phone. The number already hung up. He then realized something truly strange. That was the same identical voice he heard earlier. Now he knew that something was up. Who was he? Why did he call me? Why such a strange number? He thought about these things as he traveled.

Chris continued walking. Then he started to regret not bringing water. he soon came to a river, but it was pretty dirty, so he followed the river up. He soon saw a freshwater filter leading to a lake that must have been used by a water company. He soon reached the lake, and it was clear and fresh. He put his hands in and then up to his mouth when the lake started trembling. There was a large splash in the center of the lake, and a giant sea serpent about 50 feet long erupted from the lake. Chris was shocked, and he was petrified by the monster. He ran as he saw it coming toward him. It struck as fast as lightning, but he narrowly avoided it. But, the serpent was ready to strike again. It was ready to strike when he heard the serpent release a deafening screech. He turned around to see a 3 foot staff lodged into the serpent's eye. It fell to the floor, and a shadowy figure came from the trees next to the now dead sea serpent.

This is looking pretty good so far.

omg Amazing indeed! ^.^

please post chapter 3 as soon as possible. Thank you! ^.^

Thanks Everyone! Chapter 3 Will Be Soon To Come!

This is pretty good so far. I like it.

Chris just stared at the shadowy figure that might've just saved his life. Just then the man looked up. He had raggedy safari clothes and a long black beard and hair. He walked over to the staff and ripped it out of the monster's eye. Chris heard him grunt and watched him dip the staff into the water and clean it. Then he walked over to Chris and smiled. Then he said to him- "Well howdy partner! The name's Eli. Eli Fractor. But you, my friend, can just call me Eli." Chris looked dumbfounded. Eli looked at him and laughed "Ha, it IS a lot to take in. So, what may your name be?" Then Chris snapped out of his trance. "Oh umm.... The name's Chris." Eli replied, "Ok, so, son, let me ask you this. Why are you out in the wild all alone?" Chris explained his story. The story of his talent and him running away from his hometown. Eli looked at him for a second and then laughed. "Son, I bet that you are just a misunderstood child. A "Tamer Of The Shadows?" Sounds like a lot of hoopla over nothing." Chris was angry at this new acquaintance that he met. "So, you think I'm lying huh?!" Chris proved his talent. He brought all of the shadows and darkness in the remote area into a circle around them. "Does this look fake to you?!" Chris yelled. Eli was truly amazed. "Uhh... no, not at all!" Chris continued calmly. "So listen, I need your help. I want to survive out here, but I need to learn to defend myself. So can you help train me?" Eli sounded happy. "Well, gladly! Follow me, I'll let you stay at my place tonight. We can start tomorrow." So Chris did just as Eli said. he followed him.

They continued walking for about 15 minutes. Then Chris asked Eli, "Hey, how did you get so good with a staff anyway?" Eli said, "It's a long story kid."
"I like long stories."
"You're making a mistake, kid."
"I don't care."
"You are wasting your time."
"Do you really think I have anything better to do?"
"You're really persistent aren't ya?"
"Yes. Yes I am."
Then Chris walked into a fencepost. "We're here!" Eli said. Before them stood a small wooden cottage with a wooden roof. "Let's come inside, shall we?" Eli said. The inside was exactly what you would think of it as. A small kitchen, a chair, and a bed. All that someone really needed was in the cottage. Chris looked around, and saw a picture on the bed. It was Eli. He thought nothing of it, until he saw two other people. One was a tall and skinny woman with beautiful brown hair and even darker eyes. She had a smile that could blind someone with it's shine. And the little girl looked to be Chris's age, and didn't look much different than the older woman. Chris asked Eli, "Who are these two people in this picture?" Eli looked at the picture and looked sad, like something was missing in his life. "That's... my wife Luna and my child Anne." Chris felt bad for Eli. "Is that what the story was about?" "Well I might as well tell ya now," Eli said. Chris sat down on the bed and listened-

"It may be hard to believe, but I'm actually 47 years old." Chris gave an astonished face, but let Eli continue. "That picture was taken 3 days before it happened. A few months before, I had a dream. It was a large demon with menacingly long claws. It was muttering something, but I could never make out what. So, I began training with a weapon of choice so I could be prepared to defend my family if anything ever happened. That night, I knew it was all worth it. The demon broke in and captured Luna and Anne. I ran in and hit the demon in the face with the staff. He hissed and yelled in a scratchy voice, "You have made a BIG mistake! The prophecy will be fulfilled!" Just then, when I was caught off guard, he scratched my chest with his long claws. It ripped through the skin, and then the creature dissapeared with the people I loved the most. I almost bled out, when a small phoenix flew into the room. I had no idea where it came from, but it started to cry over my chest. then I remembered that Phoenix tears heal wounds. Ever since that night, I have been looking for them, to one day take back what that monster took from me- my family."

Excellent! ^.^

I really feel bad for Eli, it is heartbreaking.

I do hope chapter 4 will be posted soon. Thank you! ^.^

Whoa, this is good!
Keep it up!

Thanks Everyone! It really means a lot that you all like it! And I will be posting chapter 4 soon! Probably later today.

This is great.

Chapter 4

"Let Me GO!" Luna yelled, trying to break free of the tight bondings surrounding her and her daughter. The demon standing across the "room" just laughed and spoke in a scratchy and raspy voice, "Yeah. Because I'm just going to release you that easily." Luna needed to come up with a plan quickly, or neither Anne or herself were going to survive. The place they were in was a dark red color. The inside of a volcano. Seems fitting for a demon. After about five minutes, Luna came up with a plan. "So, I have a deal for you." The demon looked curious. "What kind of deal?" "We have a fight. Hand to hand combat. If I win, you let us go. If you win, you can kill us on the spot." Now Anne was worried. She was one of the smartest people you could find, but got worried easily. "Mom! What are you doing?" Luna seemed extremely calm for some reason. "Anne, trust me." The demon went to release Luna from her chains that were holding her firmly against the wall. After Luna was freed, she put up her fists. "Let's dance, foul beast!"

Chris sat down eating the fish that Eli had caught earlier. "So Eli," Chris said, breaking the silence, "Do you ever think that you will reunite with your family?" Eli responded in a low and quiet voice. "I... don't know..." The silence continued. Chris's thoughts constantly went back to Shallow Water, although he knew that there was no turning back.

Shallow Water was still basically the same. Except for the fact that the people there seemed happier, and calmer. Everyone felt relaxed knowing that the "cursed child" was gone. There was only one person who didn't like what had happened. A young girl, roughly the same age as Chris. Her name was Chloe Carpenter, and she was unpopular, just like Chris. She wanted to become friends with him, despite his dark history. So when she heard of what Chris had done, she had no other choice but to go out looking for him.

The battle jut started, but it raged on quickly. The demon's constant attempts to slash at Luna were dodged every time. She was too fast. So far, Luna's plans were working perfectly. All she needed to do was draw the creature closer to Anne's binding chains. Luna just kept dodging quicker then the demon could imagine it. Luna jumped onto Anne's chains and stood there. The demon knew that he had her now, and better yet, she was foolish enough to put them both in danger. Luna just whispered to Anne, "Trust me." The demon swung his claws at Luna, and her plan was executed perfectly. The claws were sharp enough to break through the metal, thus freeing Anne. She fell to the floor and heard her mom yell to her "Leave! Now!" Anne was about to argue when her mom yelled again "GO!" Anne had no other choice. She ran away from the volcano. That was the last time she would ever see her mother.


Note- The demon looks somewhat like this, only with large blood red claws, dark gray skin, some peeling off into a lighter shade, and the mouth tentacles are removed.

Forgot to add it in the post...

Chapter 4 is great!

Waits patiently for chapter 5. Thank you! ^.^

Thank YOU! Chapter 5 will be coming soon!

It is going well. I'm interested to see where it goes from here.

Thanks!

This is interesting.

Thank you.

Sorry for the really long wait everybody, but here is chapter 5!



Anne was scared of the road ahead. She didn't know what it would be like, and, after being kidnapped by a demon, who knew what else she would run into. But, she did as her mother told her to. She ran as fast as she could, away from her mother and the demon. Her only hope was that the demon wasn't following her. Luckily, the demon wasn't. But Anne just kept running. She had no idea where she would go or who she would meet, but she went for it. She ran for about 15 minutes when she came upon a large, neon green portal. She ignored it, just to be safe. She kept running. SHe soon came upon a dark forest. She remained calm and looked at it closely. Soon, she heard a faint snarling. It was getting closer and closer. soon she saw bright red eyes through the darkness, and she turned and ran. The creatures came after her. They were small, about the size of a dog, with golden fur and a head similar to a lion's. Blood Beasts. One of the most vicious creatures known to man, and very similar to the extinct species known as the Andrewsarchus. The creatures ran after her. Anne didn't know where to go, she just knew she had to run. She then remembered the portal. "That's it!" Anne thought, as she darted toward the portal. It was in her line of sight when it began to close. She was almost out of time. She turned around to see how close the Blood Beasts were. That, was her first mistake.

Chris has never had a more... strange alarm before. He woke up at about 5 in the morning, with a strange yet painful feeling. Eli was poking him with his staff. "Get up kid, it's time for yer trainin'!" Eli said to Chris. Chris moaned and yawned "Why at 5 in the morning?" Eli responded in a most peculiar way "This is why.' He continued to poke Chris until he got up. Then, not long after sitting up, something came darting at his face. It hit him on the nose and looked down at what had just hit him. He saw a bagel sitting on his lap. Eli looked at him and said "Eat it. It's your'e breakfast." CHris just glared at Eli and ate.

Chloe's parents were extremely over protective of her, so she never left the house. It was a miracle to her that she made it outside in the first place. It was even more surprising that she made it into the forest, seeing footsteps and following them. The footprints ended, and she saw a clearing. There were two paths, so she took the left one. This wasn't the way that CHris took, but she didn't know that. She soon came across a large red egg on the floor. She looked at it, and picked it up to get a closer look. But she soon noticed that it started to crack. She almost dropped it out of surprise, but she set it down on the dirt. It continued to crack open, when it finally opened. There, she saw a small dragon hatchling. A Fire Drake.

Very interesting.

Chapter 6

They were right on her tail. The Blood Beasts stood about a foot away from her. Looking back distracted her and made her seem to go slower, allowing the Blood Beasts to catch up. The portal soon made it into Anne's line of sight, but it started to close. There isn't mush time! Anne thought as she ran even faster then before, using everything she had left to push herself forward. She was almost there. A bit of slobber from the Alpha Blood Beast landed on her, but she couldn't turn around. The portal was ready to close. She had one choice left, but it was risky. She was near the portal. SHe started to slow down, allowing the Blood Beasts to catch up. This was her only chance. She jumped up as the Alpha Blood Beast snapped it's jaws at her, hoping for success. Her plan was executed magnificently. She landed on the Alpha's head and spring boarded off of the head of the creature. She made it through the portal, with just enough time to spare. The portal opened and she came through, tackling another girl. She had never seen her before... Or so she thought.

Chris's training started at about 6:00 in the morning. When Chris went outside, he saw some training dummies and punching bags. He saw Eli practicing on them, and he just stood there watching. He was there for about 10 minutes until Eli noticed him. "Well come on down!" He yelled. Chris made his slow descent towards Eli. When Chris made it there, Eli did something very strange. Chris didn't see the bucket full of liquid Eli had behind him, so when Eli grabbed his head and dumped it into a bucket of cold water, he was surprised. Eli sounded very calm, despite his actions. "That'll wake ya up!" He said cheerfully. Eli was right too. Chris just glared at him and asked what he needed to do first. "Well, if you're gonna TRAIN with a staff, ya gotta have one first!" Eli went into the woods to search for a stick Chris could use until he gets a REAL staff. About 10 minutes later, Eli walked back. When he saw Chris he was dumbfounded. He was holding a staff as black as a shadow in his hand! "Hey, where did you get that from?" Eli said, still with a face of pure and utter surprise. He then saw the staff dissapear, and he heard Chris mumble, "Watch this-" and Chris formed a perfectly good staff right out of thin air. Eli's jaw was now completely dropped. "How did ya do THAT?!" Eli said. Chris just looked up at him and said calmly, "I already told you. I'm the Defender Of The Shadows." And he grinned.

Their eyes met. They just stared at each other as one of the flashbacks they shared since long forgotten was reborn. A memory that they shared together, one of them both very young.
"You can't keep them both. It's just not allowed."
"Are you trying to tell me how many daughters I can and can not have?"
"I'm afraid so sir, so if you would kindly move out of the way..."
"Not happenin. You've taken enough from me, but you aren't taking away one of my daughters!"
"Pitiful Eli... even weaker then when we were kids!"
"I'll show YOU weak!" And Eli raised his fists.
"Oh haha, how pathetic. Face it Eli- You will never be able to beat me. I am the haunter of your dreams, your worst nightmare! And you will never be able to stop me!"
Then Eli punched the man standing before him.
The man just looked at him and raised his hat off of his head. There was nothing but a skull and glowing green eyes. Eli was dumbfounded and he dropped his guard for the slightest second. That was all that the man needed. He drew his gun.
"This, this is the... The END! Haha!"
The man shot at Eli. He dodged it, but it hit the wall. Then both of the little baby girls on the opposite side of the room started to cry.
Eli kicked the gun out of the man's hands and picked it up.
"This, I'm afraid, is YOUR end!" Eli yelled. Then he shot.
It hit the man in the chest and he dropped dead instantly.
"Nobody messes with the Fractors!" Eli yelled.
Then the police came in and saw the man dead in front of Eli, with a gun in hand. Eli was taken away. Then someone else came in, one who clearly worked for the original man. When the second one saw him dead on the floor, he grunted and stepped over him. He walked over to the two babies and picked one up. He carried her out of the house, and out of what her life was supposed to be.

Chris's training was brutal. He didn't get many breaks, and it was all about speed. They trained all day, and it was painful. Chris kept messing up. When Eli would throw a rock at him for him to deflect and block with the staff, it kept failing. They continued training for many days. Chris noticed that he wasn't enjoying the staff. "Eli, listen. I think I need a new kind of weapon. The staff isn't working." Eli was surprised "But you've trained so hard!"
"Yeah, I know, but I feel like there is a weapon out there that I am better at. One that I would master quickly. Anything else you know how to use?"
"Well, yes. But it is a very tricky weapon to use, and very dangerous." He flicked a hidden switch on the staff. Out rocketed a sickle blade connected to a chain.
"Chris, this is a Japanese weapon known as a Kusarigama."

I was actually afraid you were gonna say sword.

Quote: assassinelf

I was actually afraid you were gonna say sword.

Lol, yeah I know. Swords are the classic, but I find them way too commonly used.

Swords are used waaaaay to much.

Yeah, I knooowww!

I make sure my main characters rarely use swords