darkSpyro

So my family mainly consists from very bad examples of parents and a sister. I have a brother too, but he is ok.
But first, my sisters has abso-****ing-lutely no morals and not a single clue about equality. Se always has those period stylish mood changes all the time, and that equality, she Is usually demanding that between me and her. But quess ****ing what? She gets way more stuff that I do. I may sound childish but lets take and example, she gets 60€ every month to her bus card (witch only costs ~40€)
The to my parents. At first, they had a divorce so we live with our mum. But first we look at my pa. A drunk. Divorce happened because his drinking. These days, he drinks less. I'd more likely would like to live with my dad that with my mum, but that is so sore place to tread upon.
And my mum, boy she is a person you'd hate to be your mum. She drinks more than my father these days, and calls him a good-for-nothing drunk. He has a job and you don't. She judges people by their appearance and speaks **** about them behind their back. She drinks so much se can't even walk to the bathroom, she falls, she shouts me to help. That is so pathetic.

I've decided, I've decided to tell you three... What is bothering me.... Slowly, I feel like everyone leaves me alone, like I only have you three... as a value... I feel worthless, no matter what I do.... I've made severall suacide plans, but after all, I felt like stopping it... but now...after a whole day of thinking, I find no value in my own true self... Am I worthy... worthy of a life? Why is it me who's suffering the effects of a human life? I want to be alone... with you three... surraounded, hugged, found a vlaue in... I wonder... will I ever feel like my life will be great? I don't know.... everything what is alive and has a value to me... many friends from years ago leave me, they find me tooo "Dark", "Twisted".. I don't know... I also feel like I have two people at once inside of my own... one side sy, rather not talks and never seems to feel confident into things... then there's that rackless side, the side who enjoys blood, destroys windows and screams from mental pain all day.... but is there a side of me who enjoys life, laughs, and has fun? I'm afraid not...

I roleplay to escape reality, for distraction, to release my thoughts into something... It used to be a purrfect medicine for me to have a cool down... but it slowly stops working... I'm the hell nearby... I'm blund on what to do...Help.... I can't recieve it, because I will run for every human.... I want to find myself closed up, locked down, and the key thrown in poison, so nobody ever can free me.....