I'm not trying to sound ignorant or disrespectful but there was just a bunch of NAVY guys shot in a NAVY yard and I don't see anybody wearing colors to support the ones who fight for the country but there's like 4 or 5 different pages made for Damon, green wasn't enough? You had to wear pink too? Yeah the community cares about him but show some respect for the ones who actually fight to keep us safe..What about all the kids who kill themselves because of bullying? Do you wear colors for them? How about the little kids who get hit on the streets? Wear colors for them? What about all the soldiers being shot? No colors for them either..
I hate being a toy to you. You pretend to be my friend, making jokes and jokingly pick on me, and then you throw me away like a doll when better friends come near. Then you act like i'm nothing, just another kid. Well i'm ****ing sick of it. I'm sick of being used and abused by everyone around me and I'm ****ing sick of liking you. Heh...sometimes when you crush on people, you end up being crushed.
What you said to me was like putting a knife through my heart. I really miss my Mom. The bouts of depression are coming back, I really didn't need a reminder that she's gone. I just hope and pray that you didn't know about her passing. I've held back the tears, but now I can't do it anymore.
Oh my gosh I'm practically in tears. I sure hope that post wasn't about me. You aren't responding to my messages, either, and I'm starting to freak out. I dunno if you haven't been online, or if you're avoiding me for some reason... Oh god I'll cry if you're mad at me. I never want to lose you.
I kind of wonder if you're treating me differently because of last time, when dad almost left us. Yes, I do remember that. I remember it all, and it brings me to tears each time. I think you're treating me nicer because you know my fear, that I'll lose my dad. So thanks. I will always miss him. I just have to hold up for a few more days... Then I can see my dad. I don't care if he tends to neglect me, I still love him. I just hope you don't get a divorce. I know you haven't had an argument in some time, but I know how you both feel, because you always put me in the middle of things, even though I specifically tell you to leave me out of it, you guys always find a way to being me into it. I'm just glad it's time to sleep, so I can cry myself to sleep.
Oh my god, please don't take that the wrong way if you read it... Better yet, please don't read it at all!
I know I'm overreacting, but oh my god I can't help it. Not when it involves you and your talent for taking things the wrong way...which coupled with your legendary temper...is a scary combination.
Why are you doing this?
You don't even know you're doing this.
One friend is telling me to never give up hope.
The other is telling me to move on because you'll just steal my heart and crush it.
I don't know what to do anymore.
All of this is making me depressed.
I'm confused.
I wish it would just stop.
Oh my goodness so much homework.
Guess this is to be expected considering I go to private school.
But, at least now I feel like I actually have things to do in life, I can feel accomplished.
I also have new great friends, much better than my old years.
I'm very worried and it has been a while since I was last. But, I'll stay away and let things run their course. As of now I see no future confrontation and I don't know whether I must ensure its occurence or if it's not going to happen for the better. I'm just lost now...
Godammit the green sparx thing next to my name feels weird after having the gnorc for so long
... It's fixed now?
~~~
That slide almost brought me to tears. Not because of the bird, but because of when he shouted "Daddy!" It flooded my mind with memories of my dad nearly walking out on us. I was glad it was over when it was.
If I do not try now, I'll never try. Harnessing these spirits that I have, and not lose the "inspiration". I have to overcome this fears of try new things, for continue on with my life. Sometimes I'm a little pathetic for something, especially for something new.
I wish school didn't overwhelm with all this ridiculous assignments. Followed by situation I'm in I actually thought of certain things.
-----------------------------------------
You know I have quite enough of your ****, especially when you purposely kept me up for longer last night. I hope you go find a different room to do your ****ty calls because, I'm done. If you wanted some ****ing silence the door is right there. Please move on from discomforts because well I have to share a room with you. Do I like it? Not really, but I try my best to ignore your stupid arse, do your best to ignore your discomforts as I do mine.
---
If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest
icon from Empoh
I'm really lost and I don't know why. I have so many things on my mind that it'd be overwhelming to tell you why I might act a little strange around you, or anyone, for that matter.
If everything, all of it, never happened...
I wish I could go back to the day before things went wrong, and stayed that way.
You know what, stop playing that Bloons game and do your own damn homework. Quit asking me, and especially quit telling your friends. I'll offer you help if you need it but otherwise, **** off you shallow c*nt. Get your own A.
"huehue it must suck having him sit behind you now"
Yeah it kind of does, and I don't know why you have the audacity to mention it casually because it's your fault you gave my seat up without my permission. Got some nerve there
I can't wait forever. I have to come out and tell my mom about all of this. I can't hide it much longer. I have to fight for what I want. And what I want, is Pokémon Y. It'll take work, sacrifice, time, but it'll be worth it in the end.
This... This can't be happening. Not to you. You're a great person that never deserved any of this ****. Why is it that all the good people in the world get treated the worst?! Get out. Go. Escape. I want you to live your life happy, not depressed. I knew someone that committed suicide from depression. My world would fall apart if you even considered such a thing, and I don't even know you IRL. I care too much about you to stand by and let this happen.
Hooray for random depression. I feel so sad all the time, even when out with my friends. I don't know what to do or who to talk to. Nobody will understand that I'm not happy being a girl but I'd hate to be a boy. They don't understand that I feel so damn guilty after eating even one tiny bit of food. Nobody has even noticed that I am so ill, one day I will just pass out and hopefully never wake up. Why did I have to be born a human?? I'd so much rather be a ****ty bug. YOU don't make it any better. What part of NEVER ****ING LOOK AT ME OR ELSE I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF don't you understand?
Every day, I feel like it's the same **** all over again. Up, school, home, arguments, social worker visits, posts on darkSpyro that I'm trying overly hard to make funny, bed, no sleep for hours because I'm thinking of what my life will be like in the future. I'm getting nowhere. Nobody is trying to help me, so I'll have to do it myself. Hell knows how and when it's gonna happen. When I'm gonna be out of this ****hole and be an actress at last. But will it happen? HAHAHAHAHAHA no. With my luck I'll be some cleaner in ****ing KFC.
So what if I like Black Veil Brides? I'm not going Goth, you stupid ****er, though I ****ing will if I want to. I just like their songs because I can relate to some. **** you and your stupid Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, One Direction and ****ing Taylor Swift. They're HAPPY. I HATE being happy. Yeah, I said it! I hate everything right now! Including MYSELF. WHY DOES NOBODY SEE THAT I AM A MESSED UP CHILD/TEENAGER WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHO THE **** SHE IS OR WHERE THE **** SHE'S GOING.
Woo, look at that, I'm developing OCD. WHOOPEE. I swear to whoever the **** is up there, I will murder ANYONE who starts to take the mick. It was bad enough that I had to read out some big number in maths and I couldn't do it. I didn't know what the number was or how to say it. So y'all just start laughing. WTF. JUST WHAT, THE ****. HOW IS IT FUNNY THAT I CAN'T PUT ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY INTO FIGURES WITHOUT SCREWING IT UP?? IT CERTAINLY AIN'T FUNNY TO ME, MOTHER****ER!
Okay. So, basically, this is a list of what I am, according to how people make me feel:
-Dumbass
-Ugly
-Obese
-Weird (in a bad way)
-Needy
-Attention seeker
-Over-happy (OH if only you knew it was fake.)
YAY OMG I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF! hashtag sarcasm.
Um, excuse me. I will be a lesbian if I want to. I will go goth if I want to. I will dress like a boy if I want to. I will listen to Florence+The Machine 24/7 if I want to. I will NOT feel sorry for kids in foster care. THERE I SAID IT. THEM KIDS IN ADVERTS I COULDN'T GIVE TWO ****S FOR. HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY SPOKEN TO ME ABOUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT NOT LIVING WITH EITHER OF MY PARENTS?? NO! SO **** THEM! WHY SHOULD I GIVE MY HEART OUT TO PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN KNOW?! LIKE STRANGERS IN THE STREET WHY THE **** SHOULD WE GIVE WAY TO THEM? *****, MOVE OUT OF MY ****ING WAY!
I will NOT follow anyone's rules anymore. I'm done with it. Done. Screw you all! How can people be so horrible???? OH, I KNOW, JUST TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL GOOD! **** bully excuses. **** you all.
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I've held back the tears, but now I can't do it anymore.
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