darkSpyro

It might be only one moderated message, but it's tearing me apart. I am a very sensitive person, and having a moderated message makes me feel terrible. To make matters worse, it wasn't intended to be mean. I meant to make one of those irritated faces like this one: >________>
But instead it was just the line, meaning I AGREED with the mean person. I am actually considering leaving the site now, because I feel so touchy lately because of all that's going on IRL, and I don't want to pollute the site, even if its on accident. So, I've soiled my reputation anyway, so why stay now, when I'm only going to hurt people?

Man, today was bad and good. Had someone to talk to as I dreaded in the back seat of our car for two hours (i love u s&s), but everything before then was annoying. My aunt is a greedy ***** and we haven't stopped all day.

To Jaggedstar ,

I know I haven't been talking to you but I have not been able to get on lately. Stuff has been in my way lately and I hope you don't think I am ignoring you again... I hope you read this.

I wish I could know.
I wish I could see more.
I wish I could understand it all.

this is really bad
i'm twitching with every sudden surge of pain
mon dieu

It may sound weird, but I'm going to aim to be more like Spongebob (And Ash Ketchum) in a way.
To be friendly, kind and happy to everyone, be in a happy mood about everything and just be silly. I obviously won't be trying to annoy others though >.<

Quote: crystalhero37

It may sound weird, but I'm going to aim to be more like Spongebob (And Ash Ketchum) in a way.
To be friendly, kind and happy to everyone, be in a happy mood about everything and just be silly. I obviously won't be trying to annoy others though >.<

You're doing a great job!

AnOtHEr DaY aNoThEr NiCkLe!

Quote: CommanderGame

Quote: crystalhero37

It may sound weird, but I'm going to aim to be more like Spongebob (And Ash Ketchum) in a way.
To be friendly, kind and happy to everyone, be in a happy mood about everything and just be silly. I obviously won't be trying to annoy others though >.<

You're doing a great job!

AnOtHEr DaY aNoThEr NiCkLe!

Aww thank you

AnOtHEr DaY aNoThEr NiCkLe!!?!?!??!?!?!

The news of your passing is tearing me up. I really thought you could beat that disease. You were probably to weak from all the treatments. When I saw you 2 weeks ago, you looked tired but you were still joking around. The only way I can deal with this is to tell myself you are no longer in pain and you no longer suffer. I know you are at peace now. R.I.P. my friend.

I miss you so much. But I can't give in and message you. I told myself I'd phase out of your life, so that's what I'm going to do.

JHUIRHFUEDJIUEDUIJSFIDSJIUFCSDSCIENCEEKJSNDFKSJFNCJKEDSFN***JSEDHCJKSHDZTESTSSDKJNCJSHNFCJSDJCJKSDIHATESCIENCEEJSDNCKSJDHZNCIJSHDCIDJHSDJHCJSKXNJIMGONNAFAILEDSHNCESDJHNFCJSDJNCJSEDNCJHSJH****MYLIFEKJEDJIKJHSDFIKCJHESDUKFCJIKDSZJ

^My mind right now.

Wake up to go to your sleep. Keep doing that and when you lie down and close your eyes, begin your journey. When it ends, repeat.

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the test
Risin' up to the challenge of our finals
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all with the eye of the tiger

That was a bit too much blood.

If you see this then I just needed to explain something k? Yeah I freaked you out by what you saw and I'm disgusting, yeah, but I don't act that way unless people of the similar nature give the same behavior. Otherwise, I would never act that way around you guys.

Eeyah... I cannot explain how guilty I feel now. Maybe all this was not meant to be, I suppose. I need to sleep it off...

You think you're better than me, dontcha? Prancing on stage with your crappy little act and then making an attempt to show me up? Yeah right. You think you're better than me at Drama. I seriously CANNOT take that fact seriously. I've been in 15 productions since I was 6. 15 and you still think you're better than me? Hon, that ain't how it works. If you wanna settle this like a real person would, so be it.

I'll meet you on the stage 6th period tomorrow. We'll see who does better on the final.

May the best man win. And we know who that'll be.

Guess I misinterpreted the whole thing...

Im so done with everyone. Nobody gets it, or me. I need to distract myself. Might as well go draw something.

I should just go goth. I hate people anyway...

Quote: Seiki

I should just go goth. I hate people anyway...

I have been secretly thinking that for a while now...

Quote: HotDogAndZap

Quote: Seiki

I should just go goth. I hate people anyway...

I have been secretly thinking that for a while now...

And last I checked, I didn't look half bad in black. XP

Quote: Seiki

Quote: HotDogAndZap

Quote: Seiki

I should just go goth. I hate people anyway...

I have been secretly thinking that for a while now...

And last I checked, I didn't look half bad in black. XP

Once I unintentionally wore all black, and people either called me a ninja, or goth. XP

Quote: HotDogAndZap

Im so done with everyone. Nobody gets it, or me. I need to distract myself. Might as well go draw something.

I understand you.

Quote: Gem-A-Knight

Quote: HotDogAndZap

Im so done with everyone. Nobody gets it, or me. I need to distract myself. Might as well go draw something.

I understand you.

I think your the only one in the entire world...

Quote: HotDogAndZap

Quote: Gem-A-Knight

Quote: HotDogAndZap

Im so done with everyone. Nobody gets it, or me. I need to distract myself. Might as well go draw something.

I understand you.

I think your the only one in the entire world...

Well, at least there's someone right? :3 I can talk to you if you ever need someone to talk to.

Oi, it's been so long since you've worked mai Sonic games.. great to play the classics I grew up on <3

The life is destroyed, little by little, all that you love, you miss, or you lose it, and most unfair is that it is not your fault, or because no one supports you, and at the end, everyone believes what you say is just excuses. Something that never happens, but, by the lies of someone else, he always wants you lose, and the others will believe more to that person over yourself. And, some parents do not understand their own sons, only by the tastes and physical differences, then those feelings of rage, anger and hatred make choices that take one's heart will be broken, leaving us the broken heart and feelings forever. Well, I'm not saying that all parents, but some parents do.

I'm in this case, and do not think I have a solution for that. Not because I do not want, it is because life does not give me a solution for that.

Quote: HotDogAndZap

Quote: Seiki

I should just go goth. I hate people anyway...

I have been secretly thinking that for a while now...

Me too. I tried wearing black clothes for a day and none of my friends spoke to me. Harsh world.

of course i'm going to keep doing this
wanna fight about it???

Quote: Spyrobaro

You've been holding in the tears for too long. Just let them go.

Just when I was on the edge of accepting myself, on the edge of finally thinking I'm not just a worthless little asshole, this **** happens.

Jesus Christ, it's been a long day. And all I can ever hope for is to just be left to relax for a little while, to not talk to anyone for a while, to just come to the acceptance that I've made so many stupid decisions that I can never repay for them, no matter what anybody says.

First I say something stupid and am singled out even though people were saying much worse. You used that in your argument; specifically pointed it out yourself. So why call ME out when everyone else was being stupid? The only conclusion I can come up with is that it was one of my smarter moments, and you felt the need to point it out even though part of you probably knew it'd make me feel bad. Thanks, I guess.

Then, when I'm cooled off a little, horrible memories decided to come along without me being aware. When I didn't want them to. Without bad **** happening all around me, these things WOULDN'T have come back. But, of course, they did, and only made me fall further down into that hole.

AND THEN - oh mother and father, sweet little candles, right? - you find out that I'm NOT Christian, and not only threaten to put me into a school where they preach that religion and nothing else except for my LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT, but you're threatening to take my computer away. BOTH of those things take me away from the people I love and care about. Both of those things take me away from the only people who ever truly gave a single **** about me, and accepted me, and helped me grow into a better person even though I never asked them to, even though I didn't understand why someone like me would EVER get that kind of treatment. You two? You only care about your stupid ****ing politics that wouldn't even be a problem under certain circumstances. More about politics than your kids, it seems, let alone your feelings.

Why would you even try that?

You're not a worthless little asshole. I can't do much but hope things get better for you, and if you need to talk, I'll be here. I know we're not close friends, but I've had stuff with my grandma about religion, too, and hope I can help you.

Why? Is this part of growing up? Making hard desisons that can effect my life? I never wanted to have control, heck, i never wanted to dress myself. I don't want to have to make my own desisions. I mever wanted to, and now i have to and depending on the answer, it can ruin someone....not just me.

Quote: Spyrobaro

Quote: Jaggedstar

You're not a worthless little asshole. I can't do much but hope things get better for you, and if you need to talk, I'll be here. I know we're not close friends, but I've had stuff with my grandma about religion, too, and hope I can help you.

Thank you. Getting reassurance from friends and even acquaintances is really the only thing that can help me at this point, and I'm glad that so far people have been trying to make me feel better any way they can.

*Hugs* it's no problem, "meng"

Guess who's finally on the PlayStation Network? Well, I had an old account, but I never used it for anything. Since I've got a new PS3, I figured I'd just make a new account. I didn't realize how much I was missing on the PSN. ^.^

Quote: Gem-A-Knight

Quote: HotDogAndZap

Quote: Gem-A-Knight

I understand you.

I think your the only one in the entire world...

Well, at least there's someone right? :3 I can talk to you if you ever need someone to talk to.

I shall keep that in mind. :3

I'm kinda sorry about last night, that comment really threw me off. I'm also sorry that I couldn't control myself from getting into those "gross" conversations.

I had a good day today.

People treat me like crap IRL and now here.

Thank Chaos I only have to live with you people 1 year longer, I literally can't stand you ****ers.

..
----

You know who you are when you read this, because you've been the only person on my mind for the past several months ever since I shred you apart and made a huge fool of myself. I read your post and I'm terribly sorry that she's still treating you like this. I thought that she was out of your life for good and that you'd only live with friends from now on. I know it doesn't seem like this after all those lies I spread about you and how jealous I always am of you, but I still love you just as much as I did when I first met you on here and I still hold the greatest regrets in my heart, so I want to help you. I can't bare to see you like this any longer... Which is also why I'm still working on my change. It's going better, by the way... I'm finding more advice on how to change from the fool I was. I hope you're reading this because you told me to stay away from you until I've picked the right path I want to walk from here and I'm still trying to decide on a path. The least I can do is post this here and hope that you find it.

Tell me who she is. Does she have an account on a place other than dA? Does she have an account on here? Tell me what her username is. Thinking about her is making ME sick now. That's being very hypocritical, because I'm like her twin. I've done very similar stuff to you because of jealousy and EXTREME sensitivity. But unlike her, I actually have regrets and guilt and I'm trying to change into a better person and build a strong bond with you once again. One person like me is enough to make this world chaotic. We don't need TWO of me, so tell me who she is, if she has an account anywhere else. I'll even make an account on another site she may be on just so I can try to knock some sense into her. If she spreads lies about me, too? Tough. It's what I deserved. I did the same thing and I deserve the same kind of pain, even if I experienced it years ago... I need to know what it feels like again, anyway. I don't care what she does to me. It makes me sick to know that she's still at it with you. I'm sick of hearing about it because it makes me cringe to realize that there's actually worse people in the world than me. When you told me I'm not as bad as she is, that seriously baffled me. How can someone be worse than ME? How can she have done worse than ME? If that's true, I wish to confront her for you. You've gone through too much. You need someone to fight with you. I, being a former enemy of you, wish to take your side now. Seeing what she did to you reminds me of what I also did to you. Lying, copying, attacking, making you lose friends... I'm officially DONE with all of that. It's no fun and it only makes me look like a big, masked fool.

This is my path I'm taking now. I've decided on it. It's time I've listened to you and put everything behind me. Right now I want to fight for you. This girl can't continue to do this to you. She's crossed the line. If she's not going to stop, I'll FORCE her to stop. So go ahead and tell me who EXACTLY she is. I know who she is on deviantArt, but I'm not going on that site anymore. But what about other places? If I turn into her new torture puppet, let that happen! I'm sick and tired of seeing you like this and I'm ready to change once and for all! No more of that "Fwaaaaahhhh I didn't do anything wrong! ;A;" crap. No more copying you because you're more superior than me. No more lying to you. No more lying to myself. You're more than my friend. You're my sister who I never got to meet. You're my teacher, my life inspiration, my leader, and my treasure. I don't seem true to my word after how I've treated you? I will stand to my truth now! Because hear me out, I will not turn back to that evil path I walked EVER again. This is my final chance. I want to take all I learned from you and all the things I learned from my mistakes and use them to face this monster who's torn you apart. So I ask that you accept me this one last time. If I manage to screw it all up again, don't worry about me. Just forget about me. Because I WON'T do it again! I'm going to help you! All you need to do is give me more detail. Tell me more that she did to you. Tell me if she's hurt your other friends. Tell me who she is on other sites. All information is helpful. I'm sick of her hurting you like this and making people, including your own family hurt you. You did nothing wrong! You only tried to be yourself. You were broken enough as it is. She has no reason to break you up even more. Let me take your hand this one, last time. We can make it through this together.

I'm going to log onto Skype right now. I won't say anything to anyone until you've read this and see how I'm going to change now. I don't want to just log on and pester you right away. I want to wait until you're comfortable enough to talk to me. I know my "break" hasn't been terribly long, and I apologize. But even if it didn't take me too long, I think I found the path I'm going to walk from now on and I want you to help guide me. Continue to be my teacher. Continue to be an inspiration for me. I will help you through this even if it means that I'll end up being her new puppet. I've already made sacrifices just to be with you again. I'm willing to make even more.

When you take my hand, I will begin my new path with you. I'm shedding off this evil skin and making myself into a new person with all I've learned through this. Until then, I wish you with the best of luck and blessings.

To seriously take every step needed to end this "friendship" for good or not, that is the question. I would still like to see how you're doing every so often from your statuses since sometimes that feels like my only connections to you besides her, as creepy as that sounds. But as long as I try to stay somewhat close, you'll never take what I said seriously, as I can see from the other night. I'm not your comfort blanket, and I'm not your "I'm bored, let's talk to this person" person either. I tried to break my connections with you, so you try to talk to me anyway because you "just want to talk," which is a first. I tried to let you talk to me, and it was dull and lifeless and not like the conversations we used to have. You're not the person I knew and loved (yeah, okay, I admitted it. Key word though, LOVED), and even though you said you'd try to go back to being that person, I know going back to who you were may not be possible. You've changed into a person that doesn't care unless it suits him, a self-centered person, and someone who doesn't freaking listen or pay attention when someone who isn't the love of their life tries to get it through your head...Actually, strike that, you don't listen if someone you ARE in love with tries to get it through your head... And after doing this little rant, I feel much better about what I'm thinking about doing. You're no friend of mine. I don't know why you talked to me, but I knew from the start it was a bad idea to talk to you, and I was right, but it did give me a bit of closure. Thanks for that, I guess. Still, it feels like if I take all these steps, there will be no going back, and I'll loose you forever, and after knowing you for four years and everything else, that isn't easy for me.

Decisions, decisions.

I need to find somewhere I can sit
Because this is ridiculous
Wow, I hate summer

is funny cuz you're high

-----------

omg how rude
screw u high levels pplz
ill be the first high level that actually admits to loosing and wont blame the game!

Quote: HotDogAndZap

People treat me like crap IRL and now here.

Reveal Spoiler

Theres not much left in my life to get screwed up.

You can talk to me if you need it.