darkSpyro

Oh, something's obviously not right.

Well. I guess here it goes again? Hm?

If things could just...work out for me..

I feel like nobody wants anything to do with me anymore. That, or online friends are not as genuine as I have believed for so long.

I shouldn't blame them if they don't like talking to me. It still really upsets me though because I'd like to be able to have normal conversations before I die. And I'd love to be able to have a meaningful conversation or two with the one I care about most. But I'm lucky to talk to anyone. And of it wasn't for me trying to start a conversation all of the time, I wouldn't get one at all.

I've gotten to a point where I really hate being awake, even outside of school. Maybe that's why I always feel tired lately. It's just my mind pushing my body to sleep more. And I'm just less and less bothered to try talk to anyone now. Or to be supportive.

Maybe this means my death will be less consequential and less scarring than people implied. Wish they never did that to begin with though. Just made me feel guilty. And it just feels like their care was empty now.

That's all I feel anymore - emptiness and pain.

i look at that place and i can't help but feel used.

and there isn't really much of a use for me anymore, hm?

you could even screw up all that i worked on. i wouldn't do anything.

it's mediocre anyways and i will stop treating it as if it's not.

i just shouldn't care, should i? i mean, more and more people are avoiding me nowadays,

but not everyone, of course.

---

you don't think i don't want to be your friend anymore?

i wasn't ever there for you, was i? i wasn't ever there for anyone, was i? when it came to tough things most the time i was just some body bag. what have i done for anyone really? hardly anything. hardly ****ing anything but be there, and sometimes that's enough but really often isn't at all, now is it? i've had so many people do so much for me, and despite using to talk to so many people, that's all i really did...was get close to people but not close enough to be close for a long period of time...

but, but you still want to be my friend?
why? why? why?
i could've made things better for you.
i didnt.
i didnt.
i didnt.
i could've helped you with your issues, and maybe i sorta did...but i could've did
better
i could've
and yet i made it worse by having you like me as some sort of quiet to suddenly talkative person

and so you were moved out of that loving family of yours. i didnt make the connection when he told me you had moved...but it means that...wow. i would take you in if i could.

despite our misunderstandings, despite the mistakes we've made. you were a good friend, company. no no - you are STILL a good friend! i haven't had any friends for that matter that weren't "good". great even, great great people...

yes.
yes i want to be your friend still, i think. it wouldn't be because of you if i didnt want to be your friend, no no no.

i understand you got afraid so many times.
i understand that when i poured my heart out to you, you got scared. i'm sorry, but what you did about it wasn't right, it was a huge overreaction and you caused more trouble for me than you would've been able to guess...and i'm not always great at being understood. misunderstandings snag me all the time - i guess it's human.

----

i don't want to see you ever in an abusive relationship again.
what he did was NOT ****ing right, it is not right to kick someone down some bleachers
to repeatedly attack you and use you as some sort of punching bag
i mean, i'll even try and help work it out. i'd do my best, my very best to try and knock sense into BOTH of you if it EVER happens again.
but there's always times when there is no sense, that even if you love someone, that
sometimes it's better to leave, or to defend yourself ... to defend each other, in every possible way.

i wonder how he is, actually.

i am so out of the loop...

i hate this, all i wanted to do was have a boring-ass day at school, but then this has to happen. this makes me want to be dead.

Mmk english exam make this quick, I'm gonna be accepted for sure so hurry up.

bye.

--

i'm probably gonna end up crying aren't i

why do i suddenly feel like talking to people

Quote: Carmelita Fox

i hate this, all i wanted to do was have a boring-ass day at school, but then this has to happen. this makes me want to be dead.

woah there carm, calm down. it's just a stomach virus, YOU GET ONE EVERY YEAR MAN?

do you?

yes, I DO.

i'm sorry

YEAH MAN U BETTER BE SORRY NOW GIVE ME UR LUNCH MONIES

i don't have any
u took it already

How strong came i be.......can i be THIS emotionless that when my grandma tells me she has colon cancer after i come back from track practice, that i dont even show anything?

Mrs. Torres was a better english teacher than you.

---

Oil pastels are amazing.

---

Gimme my ice cream, Chip.>:(

It's not too late. It's never too late.

Bye..

Earlier today at school:

Friend: Hey.

Me: Hey.

Friend: *sets record book down on table*

Me: You always look at those in the library.

Friend: I know. *flips through pages*

Me: WAIT! *catches and slighty tears page* Looks at section about furries on the page.

Friend: *stares* You...-"

Me: *gets up* Oh that's right! I have to uh, be somewhere. *leaves then looks back*

Friend: *stares at me with blank/awkward expression

I forget...how even your friends can single you out for being what you are. If I was normal...if only.

>People tell me how wonderful I apparently am.
>Want me to join a special group for popular users
>I join
>Get kicked out the next day
>"I'm SOrrY???"




And that's why I don't talk as much as before.
Also, our group seems to be going downhill and I'm loosing interest. I'm still trying to keep it alive. I won't leave until we all leave.

thank u for filling my computer with ads and viruses
it's not like i'll have to pay for your crud or anything

You're turning 20 this year. I think you're old enough to get your own things around the house and not throw a temper tantrum when they don't. Grow up.

GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE GIMMEE

NAO

i am masterful ender of calls

Why must these thoughts continue to lurk in my head pulling me that much deeper into realizing how sad I've been lately?

you think you know somebody, then they do that. kinda shocking
------
ive finally decided to let somebody over. im worried, this could ruin me. i trust him and all, but i have no idea what will happen. i hope it goes well. everything could work out fine, or everything ive worked so hard to keep a secret could all just blow up in my face.
------
i don't even know how a feel about you any more, i just don't know. i guess ill just wait and see
------
i suppose some are destined to be alone, if im one of them then thats fine. i work better alone anyway....

it's really difficult for me to show i care sometimes.

i bet many people think i don't.

If I'm not liked or wanted I would rather it be said to my face, not leaving me out of stuff. I hate you guys. Selfish greedy preps.

Congratulations. You are being real.

I like equipping Vaike with ladles.

Read that again.

Me?! Drunk? I'm not drunk! I'm 14! YOU on the other hand Mr.swishIblames14yearoldsfurbeingdrunksparkle is drunk!

If you ****ing gave me the wrong dose I'm suing you for everything you have. I could die now and you think it's ok to just quickly write down a dose and send me on my way!? I don't think so.

Please reply. I'll be more than ****ing greatful. This is serious ****, y'know. And until you reply or something, I'll be waiting....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FINALLY, SOMETHING'S BEING DONE!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

okay now im scared. what if this ruins this secretive life i have worked so hard to build? my 3 lives, and im risking having two of them collide. What if he finds out? what if they find out? im so scared. i just hope this goes well

Quote: Spyrobaro

MMMM YES LEG PAIN I TOTALLY LOVE YOU

are you ok

Oh god...I passed out. I said a few naughty things too around 1:30 AM in the morning. This thing of mine that happens every here and there at night is kind of bad...I'm beginning to think I'll have to see a therapist or mental health person. *face desk*

u want an epic war???
ok

yeah let's argue like there's no tomorrow!
first topic
airline food

This game is amazing.

Why are you people so obsessed over this ****?

I'm beginning to think that coming to this site is becoming a chore. Most of the topics I see and my reaction is literally "Urgh, I can't be bothered with it anymore" or I go to post a message, and then end up deleting it, thinking "What's the worth?"

1 out of 6 done.

Quote: spyro and sonic

1 out of 6 done.

Playing Sonic Adventure?