darkSpyro

I've probably seemed quite cold. Maybe ignorant. Maybe even strong.
Truth is, I'm not.

I know it was my choice to some degree, to not be talking to you, but...I miss you. I really miss you. And I feel terrible for missing you.

Pretty much everything I've been doing lately has been an attempt to distract myself from you. It's like I try to tell you - you ARE the most important thing in my life. For me, every task that is forced upon me feels like a distraction from you. From further building a bond. That's all I really want out of life anymore. I don't care about being a hero. I don't care about being respected, not even by you. I don't deserve that respect anyway. I just want to play a part in REALLY making you feel happy and fulfilled. Though I've pretty much accepted that I won't, when all is said and done.

I've even been seriously trying trying to sever what connections we have, but strangely, it doesn't work. Maybe I just haven't tried hard enough. But you...just come back every time. You chase me. And when you get a hold of me, you know exactly what to do with me. You make me feel terrible. It's those times where I really wish you were in front of me, so I could hold you in a warm an loving embrace. Because I just don't want you to go, and I don't want to lose you, what little I have of you. Ever.

Yet, I'm the one who actively tries to end the bond. As if we never knew each other. I do it...in all honesty...as a desperate attempt to make sure my approaching death is more peaceful. For both of us. I feel, that as a human being, I'm a failed experimental prototype. So I just want to die. You made me feel like I could do something for quite a while, and I thank you for that. But I've abused you. I've probably let you spend way too much time with me. You poor thing.

Though, no matter what I'm saying in regards to you, it probably doesn't make sense - because I love you more and more each day. And I have so many heavy affections and gestures I want to present to you, that I never know what to say to you, never know where to start or to continue. I suppose that's partly why I've been at a distance lately. Better be safe, than to blurt out something overwhelming to you. Right?

Though, it would make sense for me to not make sense here. I hear true love never makes sense...
What does make sense though, is the fact that my love for you is true and absolute. Why wouldn't you be the most beautiful girl in the world to me? Why wouldn't I want to be near you? Why wouldn't I appreciate your art over anyone else's? Why wouldn't I WANT to talk to you? Why wouldn't I try to find gifts to send you? Why wouldn't I...love you...and believe in you, that you will have an amazing future...and why wouldn't I want to be yours forever, as proposterous as that sounds?...

I'm sorry about interfering, simply by stepping into your life. You didn't deserve that.

Ugh, my head hurts...