darkSpyro

I'm aware of how much you hate me now.

But go ahead. It was obvious anyway.

Ah...

---

Welcome to the club...
You know, I really always disliked that statement I made right there. Something about it, something about it... I can't place it.

I am so thankful you're okay.. That scared me, even though you don't know me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why don't you two go off and get married, leaving me in the dust and not talk to me? It wouldn't be anything different to now. You've probably asked eachother out without me knowing, you never care about me anymore, so I won't for you, no matter how hard it is.

Quote: spyro and sonic

um, don't do it. I've had similar thoughts before but realized death isn't worth it.

Agreed.

damn
i should watch something that makes me happy before i start telling myself how crappy of a person i am

We've caught the puppet master. Cut the strings to the puppets. We would have never expected this to happen. Now everyone knows. Didn't know the the puppet master was someone unexpected. We brought the puppet master into our lives and gave the master our care and affection. The puppet master took our friends and waged war between us. Luckily, the puppet master repeated its past mistake, and I was able to catch the master and its acts of wrong. I wish I could have sooner though. It seemed like the perfect crime, but the puppet master slipped up, and exposed itself. That's when I acted. That's when we cut the strings and released our friends from the control of the puppet master. The puppet master fled, and frankly, I'm glad the puppet master did so.

I hate this. I really do. I'm like a prisoner who gets tortured daily. Emotionally obviously but still. What's the point anymore...

I can vividly remember the first day we met. We shared so much in common and always had laughs and smiles... We shared so much. The friendship was perfect. Although it was distant, I felt that we had one of the strongest friendships around. We had known each other for a long time and I looked up to you like a big sister. You gave me so much inspiration. It was wonderful to me... I had made a friend. A beautiful, talented friend.

Behind these brown eyes of mine lie secrets. Some secrets I was always afraid to admit... Some are dark. Some are just plain embarrassing. Most of them being dark... Dark, unforgivable secrets...

On the outside, you always saw me as a talented, beautiful girl. You'd compliment me and always support me. You saw me as a best friend. However, that was only the hard shell... Behind these dark eyes lies the truth. The truth... Within the lie...

I've lied about you. I've lied about my past. I've lied about what you said about me. I've lied about my friends. I've lied about who I am. I've lied to your friends. I've lied about my family.

I've lied...
A lot...

I've said harsh things about you. I've said harsh things about your beliefs. I've said harsh things about your characters. I've said harsh things about the games you love. I've said harsh things about your art.

I've said harsh things...
A lot of them...

I've judged you. I've judged your characters. I've judged your beliefs. I've judged your art. I've judged your words. I've judged your actions. I've judged the things you like. I've judged your past.

I've judged...
A lot...

I've gossiped about you. I've gossiped about your beliefs. I've gossiped about your actions. I've gossiped about your words. I've gossiped about the things you love. I've gossiped about your characters.

I've gossiped...
A lot...

I've been cruel to you...
I've been dishonest with you...
I've lied about you...
I've made you miserable...

I've made you hurt...
...So... So much...

You thought I'd be a good friend... And I thought the same... I would try to be a good friend... But behind this hard shell is nothing but darkness and lies... There is no beauty within me. I've done so many horrible things to you.

So much blood and tears have been shed tonight. I've kept repeating to myself "I hate you! I hate you!! I hate you!! I HATE YOU!!!" I turned pale. After that I shed tears of misery, regret, and guilt.... Not able to handle the truth that I've become this monster... I've become this monster that only makes people miserable... But here is why I did all of this...

I was jealous.
I felt worthless
I felt untalented.
I was so jealous of everything about you...

Jealous of your love... Jealous of your characters... Jealous of your friends... So I took it over the top and poured it on you, wanting to look good...

Instead it turned me into this monster. I was just jealous... And now I just feel horrible... I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve your friendship. I don't deserve you in general. I don't deserve ANYBODY'S love or friendship... Not even my parent's love... I'll bet they regret giving birth to such a hideous bully such as myself...

But hear me out... Although it hardly seems like it's true... There is love somewhere in my heart. Although I've torn you apart and turned into this horrible monster, I still love you... I do... This is so painful that I've destroyed you like this... I was selfish... I was jealous... THIS PAIN JUST WON'T GO AWAY!! EVER!! It will stick to me for eternity!

...But I still love you... I want to start over... But that can no longer happen after this mess I've made... But without you... I'm a miserable mess... I've been crying the entire time I've been typing this and my arm is numb from all that cutting... I know you can't forgive me now... And you can't ever believe me... But I want to say this anyway.

You ARE beautiful. You ARE creative. You have BEAUTIFUL characters. I still look up to you like a big sister... Like sisters who have broken apart... The bond is broken...

...all because of me...

...please... forgive me... someday... i know i've been horrible to you... but someday... i want to start over... the mystery has been solved... i've found it all out... it was all started by me... the drama... the fighting... so please, go. return to that world where smiles exist. with your friends. you didn't start this. it was all me. please... go... be happy... i've found out the source of all the drama... it was all me... so please... even if you can't ever forgive me... go... return to the happy world...

if you were here with me right now, face-to-face... i would just give you the longest hug ever... i would cry so much and just tell you how incredibly sorry i am and how much it pains me to hurt you... and to tell you how much you really mean to me... you've always seemed like a big sister to me... i don't want you to go away for ever... but it's what i deserve... but i just wish i could hug you so much right now and let you know how much you mean to me..

...i love you...

From this point on I'm a ticking time bomb.

I'm leaving. I would like to thank Purple, a friend who was always there for me, cynders_awsome, a friend that I respect a lot and even love, and just all my friends in general for being there for me. I won't forget any of you.

So why am I leaving? I feel hurt. Badly. I've hurt others. I've scared others. I'm scared of myself for the things I've done without realizing it. There's a lot of things I regret here. So yeah. I'm not gonna give detail on the situation, I'm just going to leave silently, and never return. I'm sorry, to those I've hurt. You have reason to be angry with me.

You treat her like she's your delicate little angel, you treat me like I'm a joke, you JUST met her a few days ago, now you talk to her 24/7 and not even try with me. It's so hard to see if you really care, or maybe the past was just one big lie. The stupid thing is, I feel like I'm going to lose you to her.

You're ruining my life, everything you do, I must watch because I don't trust you, that's a bad relationship.

You compliment everyone, but me, seriously, you compliment your friends every day, but for me it's like once or twice a month, this wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't compliment everyone else so much. Sometimes it feels like you ignore me, I know, I hate me too mate, I'm like a child, but that's okay, it's who I am. If you can't accept that, you're not a true friend at all.

You know what? Forget it, you use favourtism so much, that it hurts. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself anymore and just carry on, be cheerful in any way possible and feel sorry for your other friends.

Your the popular one. Your crazy and popular in school. You have friends in high school and almost everyone knows who you are. Im crazy to think that you'll everbe with me right? In 6th grade, i was a new kid. I was scarred and the school was so big co paired to my old school which had 33 students in total from k-6th. I moved from a school i went to forever. I moved from lots f teachers i liked and everythhing else in the school. You became my friend but i was blind. I coudnt see that you used me. I was so caught up in having a friend and someone that actually cared about that i let a handsome black haired blue eyed kid blur my vision. In 7th grade, you still were a friend. Then you convinced me to come to your house for a sleepover. I did and while i was there, i told you my darkest secret. You didnt care and you didnt run screaming. You were nice and continued to be my friend. This fogged my vision even more. Im a loner. In study hall, i always sit by myself yet you sat next to me. Why? Why do you insist on trying to be nice to me. You make my feelings go all over and my mind is ****ed up. Then now, in 8th grade, your losing me as a friend. You found a new kid to mooch on. You use him to. But then, you seem so kind and caring......you could sell ice to eskimos. Yes, i am in love with you. Even after all this, your one of the first people to give me hope. You were the first person i told i was gay. Your on of the first people i met. Wen we were five, and i stayed wi my grandma here, you and me would run around the church together and get yelled at.you remember that to, i know.

omg 3 stickies.

BRING IT ON, FINALS WEEK. BRING. IT. ON!

i'm a threat to you because i will hug you
i'm the scariest person right now beware

---

Ah.

---

I had a dream 'bout you.

You're not even thanking her for trying to help you, instead you're just wallowing in your self-pity and doubt?
Sorry you feel so bad, but honestly, you can't even thank her for helping, instead you keep bawwwing about how bad you feel?????? I bet she feels appreciated and happy she tried to talk sense into you.

Sometimes I wish people would just shut up and leave me be.

This is a nightmare...

Hope everything is alright.

-----

I still think you're a wonderful person and I never forget about you. Unfortunately though, I can't help with the suicide problem. My help is not valid, as I'm in the same boat as you. Except I have almost pinpointed a date for when I will actually carry through with it (and whether or not I die earlier depends on how my life goes).

ARE.YOU.ALL.****ING.KIDDING.ME.

WHY.REALLY.WHY.

"Arrival of the Bee Box" would be the perfect poem to describe me right now.

My nerves are going crazy. This is what happens when I'm left to myself. I think about things.

I only give respect to those who are respectable. You are not one of these people. Not only did you insult someone in my family, you called her a horrible parent. Quit telling her to respect her elders. Demanding respect isn't going to give you it. Now get off facebook and take care of you're "perfect family" you stupid *****.

I've been spared far too many times. But now it's time to say goodbye for real. I cannot live like this.

Human life blooms and wilts... If I am ever reborn, I'd like to live a happy life again with happy friends. I'd like to be happy with you again. Live happy days full of smiles and love. But I have ruined that for everyone. It's time for my disappearance. I apologize for the hell I've caused in your lives... But now I will set foot to a new journey... If I'm never online again, then I'm likely on foot living the life that should have been with me years ago. Wandering and thinking of new solutions... Call it running away and missing if you want.

I'm only doing you a favor.

Quote: DarkCynder10

I've been spared far too many times. But now it's time to say goodbye for real. I cannot live like this.

Human life blooms and wilts... If I am ever reborn, I'd like to live a happy life again with happy friends. I'd like to be happy with you again. Live happy days full of smiles and love. But I have ruined that for everyone. It's time for my disappearance. I apologize for the hell I've caused in your lives... But now I will set foot to a new journey... If I'm never online again, then I'm likely on foot living the life that should have been with me years ago. Wandering and thinking of new solutions... Call it running away and missing if you want.

I'm only doing you a favor.

I have no place telling you what you should and shouldn't do. I feel you are mature enough to make a sound decision. I will respect your choice.

I just want you to know you have not caused me any sort of hell. I've loved every single conversation I've had with you, and there has never been a bad moment in our friendship, I feel.

The people who treat you terribly are wrong to do so on every level. I hope you at least know that.

Quote: DarkCynder10

I've been spared far too many times. But now it's time to say goodbye for real. I cannot live like this.

Human life blooms and wilts... If I am ever reborn, I'd like to live a happy life again with happy friends. I'd like to be happy with you again. Live happy days full of smiles and love. But I have ruined that for everyone. It's time for my disappearance. I apologize for the hell I've caused in your lives... But now I will set foot to a new journey... If I'm never online again, then I'm likely on foot living the life that should have been with me years ago. Wandering and thinking of new solutions... Call it running away and missing if you want.

I'm only doing you a favor.

Even though i dont know you that well, ive thought about doing the same thing. I respect your opinion, and i hope that everything goes well.

Quote: DarkCynder10

I've been spared far too many times. But now it's time to say goodbye for real. I cannot live like this.

Human life blooms and wilts... If I am ever reborn, I'd like to live a happy life again with happy friends. I'd like to be happy with you again. Live happy days full of smiles and love. But I have ruined that for everyone. It's time for my disappearance. I apologize for the hell I've caused in your lives... But now I will set foot to a new journey... If I'm never online again, then I'm likely on foot living the life that should have been with me years ago. Wandering and thinking of new solutions... Call it running away and missing if you want.

I'm only doing you a favor.

Although, I don't want you to leave, do what you want to. You were a good friend. I'll always have the sweetness of memories to look back on.
(I don't think you ever caused me hell.)

So, you are cheating on her?
How does she deserve all this disrespect?
You're our main source of income, although, I doubt you're leaving anytime soon.
But you're such a bloody liar...
If it weren't for me my mother would be able to actually get a job and it would be easier, we wouldn't have to depend on you so much.
I just really hope you two don't get violent.
Really do.
I hope she doesn't take her turmoil out on my cousin/little sister or the dogs or anyone else. I can handle it if she does it to me, I'll survive, I just don't want more people getting hurt than they already are.
I still love both of you, as family, although.
I'll try my best not to say anything stupid.

No clue why I'm crying, it's not like this wasn't going to happen soon.

Quote: Wild

So, you are cheating on her?
How does she deserve all this disrespect?
You're our main source of income, although, I doubt you're leaving anytime soon.
But you're such a bloody liar...
If it weren't for me my mother would be able to actually get a job and it would be easier, we wouldn't have to depend on you so much.
I just really hope you two don't get violent.
Really do.
I hope she doesn't take her turmoil out on my cousin/little sister or the dogs or anyone else. I can handle it if she does it to me, I'll survive, I just don't want more people getting hurt than they already are.
I still love both of you, as family, although.
I'll try my best not to say anything stupid.

No clue why I'm crying, it's not like this wasn't going to happen soon.

If you want someone to talk to, I go through a lot of family issues too. Just putting that out there for you.

Im not addicted to the Hunger Games at all......i just have the movie, the Mocking Jay pin, a distirct 12 ipad case, some cards, a parody, two key chains, and two bracelets.....

Quote: DragonCamo

Im not addicted to the Hunger Games at all......i just have the movie, the Mocking Jay pin, a distirct 12 ipad case, some cards, a parody, two key chains, and two bracelets.....

you stole the pin from Katniss
how dare you
gimme.

So, why does this happen to me so much? It doesn't feel good.

What are the odds?

Quote: CommanderGame

What are the odds?

152,039,422:1

I'm growing tired of going through this again and again. It's really hard, especially when you have nobody otherwise.

I always feel like I'm crowded by idiots

Boy that was an awful calc test... 2 more to go. <.>

I am literally hopeless.

oh my god i feel so bad, i shaved my legs with the same razor you just shaved your face with... i don't know what to say

Wow people actually noticed me leaving
I feel so loved

why am i still here

I'm glad we're best friends, and I hope we continue to be forever.....

Quote: CommanderGame

I'm glad we're best friends, and I hope we continue to be forever.....

- - -

If I was the religious type I'd say I feel blessed to have met you.

Quote: Spyrobaro

Quote: wspyro

why am i still here

Because you're awesome.

because of this gif http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs7...lfz-d51ghwu.gif

Quote: arceustheprime

Quote: Spyrobaro

Quote: wspyro

why am i still here

Because you're awesome.

because of this gif http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs7...lfz-d51ghwu.gif

I thought it was gonna be the dude and the pizza.