darkSpyro

This is why I've grown sour towards a certain part of this community. I know that you're probably not even a member of this site, but you're doing the same thing to me that a bunch of people tried to do to me before - making huge assumptions about my personal life.

But the difference is that while the main person accusing me of it before had at least been an old friend, you have never spoken to me before about anything else really. You just start saying stuff to me, acting like you know it all. I have not done anything that is not socially acceptable. This person that you are accusing me of being obsessive over actually said to the person that accused me last time, that I was doing nothing to make her uncomfortable. And recently, I avoided talking to her because I'm just going through a lot in my life, and I've become cold and distant to a lot of people. I gave her the cold shoulder because I felt like I was useless to her anyway, and because I'm always in a bad mood. But she was the one who persevered because she wanted me to talk to her more, so that's what I'm doing. There's a lot more to this. I've known this person for more than 2 years. We have been fine just being friends with each other. But again, a few white knights seem to think they know it all.

Oh, and I think it's very obnoxious of you to pester me about this, only to laugh about it when I give you a response, out of decency. When your girlfriend talked to me about you in the past, you sounded like a decent fella, but you've been giving me the worst first impression. Not only because you are making this brash assumption, but because you must have been scouring for information about me to come to whatever conclusions you have. I could imagine you might of talked to some people to. But I'm merely speculating here.

Also, the last time people accused me of this, your girlfriend actually stuck up for me. I wasn't there to see it, but the main person accusing me told me so, and when I asked her, she confirmed it. Now, I know that her opinion may have changed, and that maybe you're even getting your information off of her (but I'm merely speculating here), but I think that it's worth mentioning that she stuck up for me before. Also, there's also the fact that the first time you confronted me about this, you originally had your girlfriend there to watch the conversation, only to start talking to me privately, thinking that she'd get upset. Well, why don't you just be upfront with her about what you're doing? I think she deserves to know when you are bugging people she's friendly with, if you haven't already told her.

And this isn't the first time you've made a brash accusation about me. According to what your girlfriend has told me, you previously got jealous of me, thinking I was trying to steal your girlfriend, or chat her up, or something. That ridiculous claim has just made it difficult to think you have the slightest good point to make in regards to your current accusation.

You can judge me behind my back all you want, talk about me behind my back all you want, and you can try to tell me what to do all you want. But I think I'll ignore this from now on. I'm done with people accusing me of being something I'm not.

I have a feeling you won't talk to me untill I talk to you, well, I do want to talk to you, but when I do, I feel like the desperate one...

Quote: Pixilism

I'm starting to really realize how grateful I am to have met such wonderful people through this site. The friends I have made and the friends I have met through other friends, you are all very important to me. If it wasn't for meeting people through this site, depression probably would have taken my under again and I probably would not have come out of it. I probably wouldn't be alive and here today if it wasn't for the friends I have made, and it's all thanks to this site. I love all of you. Thank you all. <3

No, thank you, for making this site a more enjoyable place!

Why must I go through this?

Someone who bullied me somewhat in high school is apparently dead now... quite shocking.

Quote: Spyrobaro

Quote: Crookshanks

Let me guess... HIR?

ye

i feel uncomfortable now

this is going to take some getting used to aaaaaahh

IKR!!!!!!!!! D:

umm, kay.......

A bit of relief, I guess.

I want it to be September already.

I wanna talk to you.But i feel like i can't.

Ah... I never used to be this outspoken in school, but now I stick up for people and am actually being kinda nice rather than sitting in the corner reading a book or going on my phone.
WHAT IS GOING ON?!

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Wahhh I miss you so much when I am/you are at school, because we only get to speak for a prolonged time on the weekends. But I still get the occasional talk with you and it makes me happy. c:

I doesn't matter what I do, I just keep feeling worse, I keep hurting myself... That's why I'm like this, I can't forget all those bad things, they haunt me.

That's it. I think I'm just about done with this life of mine.

I would off myself tomorrow, as I'm going to be in a forest. But I have a few things I have to take care of before I die. I'm certain I'll do the deed within this year.

I just don't want to hear anything about how broken people say they might be. I just don't wanna hear it any more. I doesn't help matters, and it's people's own fault if they convince themselves I was a big part of their life and that my disappearance will ruin it.

I'm suicidal too, and I apologize if I'm wrong, but it seems a little attention-grabbing for you to say that. I'd rather you not do that, as it will stir people up.

Quote: Bravo101

I'm suicidal too, and I apologize if I'm wrong, but it seems a little attention-grabbing for you to say that. I'd rather you not do that, as it will stir people up.

I was actually directing the post at particular individuals in my life. Venting, if you will.

It doesn't matter, really.
And I fail to see how that's negative,
Honestly, it's positive. Absolutely positive!
Don't dwell on it, you're becoming a statue.

I wonder if I am noticed.
I wonder what others think in that moment.
I wonder if I should go this way.
I don't like "I".

Quote: sonicbrawler182

That's it. I think I'm just about done with this life of mine.

I would off myself tomorrow, as I'm going to be in a forest. But I have a few things I have to take care of before I die. I'm certain I'll do the deed within this year.

Do you want to talk? That's a very shocking thing to say and I can tell you from experience that it doesn't solve anything, and leaves everyone feeling bewildered.

People really need to stop whining about the video. Seriously.

They're called "opinions". GET THE **** USED TO THEM!!!

I'm in love with a fairytale, even though.. it hurts...
'Cuz I don't care!, If I loose my mind!
I'm already.. cursed..

I hate how you want to be my friend, but you always bring up that one incident and make me sound terrible for telling you the truth.. Now you want me to lie? Okay, next time you ask me if you could look better and I lie saying you look perfect then you come crying to me about how I lied to you I'll remind you of your statement. :3

You've made mine and everyone else's life at home a complete living hell that just gets worse and worse. When did you ever become this way.

FRUSTRATION

Can you just shut the **** up?

You just have to have a little faith in yourself. If there's even a sliver of a chance, take it. You are never hopeless. You can make it through.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Anons like that really make my night.

I've worn this fake smile far too long. You have no idea how much your words hurt me... Why do you try to hurt me so much? What did I ever do to you?! I thought they were my friends, but you proved me wrong... My best friend was HIT BY A FREAKING CAR AND RAN OVER UNRIL HE DIED TO PROTEC MY FAMILY FROM HIMI miss him so much.. And when you all don't think I'm trying to be nice.. It hurts. It hurts when you backstab me.. It hurts when the one I trust can't even talk to me.. I have no friends. You're right.. My true friend died for my family. HE DIED FOR MY FAMILY! I might never see him again and you don't care!! Just because you have the looks and I don't doesn't make you beautiful on the inside.. I hope you know I'm dying. I'm dying on the inside. I'm crying a river, but why would you care? And I can't love Gohan because he's think I'm ugly?.. Yeah thanks..

I couldn't hold in my feelings anymore. Don't you dare make fun of me.

You keep telling me that you just won't date me because you don't wanna feel stressed about the fact I might throw you aside. But I won't...

Admittedly, because you won't deny it, you have in some ways ruined my life. I've been depressed. A lot. But only because you're not with me. The only way you could ruin my life is by leaving my side.

Deep down...despite how sad I am without you...you've actually made me happier than ever. If you could just realize I care about so much that I wouldn't dare hurt you...I would be happier knowing you were with me.

Please come back darling...all I want is you...I've been crying far too often without you. You're a girl on the Internet...but I don't care. I've never had deeper feelings for anyone in my entire life.

My desire to even hold your hand is so strong...I would collapse at your feet if I could even get close enough to you to squeeze your hand. Know that you're always there...

You are my sweetheart. My fox...the one for me. You know Valentines day is coming? No amount of candy or love in the entire world could ever be good enough...because you're the best there is.

I would do anything to hear you say that you love me. Is there something that you really wish you had right now? I'll give it to you. I just wish you could return the favor...and give me...you.

I just want you with me so I can comfort you in your time of need. I need you to change my world from a rainy, depressing day, to a bright sunny day. I need your hugs so the hard cold nights can become warm comfortable rays of light from the stars. You mean the world to me...

I would do anything to protect you...even if it meant killing me and keeping you alive.

This might all sound kind of funny to you. But to me...it's not. I'm Serious about what I say. I want you to know how much I love you. All these things I'm saying, it really is how I feel about you. Please. Please let me be with you. You say I don't deserve you but I do. You can reject me as much as you want, but I won't stop trying to get you back.

Sometimes I have dreams about you. You and I, as we stroll through the valleys, and watch the shooting stars at nighttime. Just the two of us, together, and never apart. I'll put my arm around you while you rest your head on my shoulder. It's the only time I feel comfort again...in my very dreams...where I imagine us together.

I can't hear the birds sing anymore you know? The sadness the rain leaves has left everything I walk bye depressed and lonely. I never hear myself anymore. I never talk as much like I used to. I always feel so sad on the inside that I'm always thinking to myself..."Will you ever accept me again?"

My very heart...it's turned from feeling the warmth of your comfort to feeling the hard cold emptiness I always felt. Didn't I lie when I mentioned my life was horrible? I did. But did I lie about my love life being horrible? No I didn't. I never lied when I said I was used by any girl I dated. It's no lie. Not at all. You really are the one for me.

You love me. You said it yourself. I know I'm not being used because you've been telling me the truth. You've gained my trust since the beginning. But why won't you be my love again? You love me, I love you, the only thing holding us back is that you really think I would throw you aside after several months. No words can say how much I care. Nothing can describe how hard it is to really make you believe that I won't let you go.

You're the only one for me. You're the one that makes my heart warm. You're the one that turns my depression into comfort. You're the one that turns on the sun inside of me, when the cold rain has me sad. You're the one that loves me. You're the only one that loves me. You're the only one that hasn't used me as backup to brag that you're not single. You're the one for me. I won't tell myself otherwise. It's you I want. You're all I'll ever want. I love you. I love you more than I love anyone else. Even my family. If you don't feel the same way...that's okay. This is just how I feel. This is why I can never let go of you. If you left, I would never feel like living again. Wether you feel the same way about me or not...just do me one favor...at least...stay with me. Just don't leave. You're the only person I'll ever love.

The person who loves you most...
Gem ~

I wonder if you ever will get it that you're the one I'm talking about, but then again it's normal of you to ignore it. You have no idea how much you're ruining my life....

Why am I awake? I hate being awake now. It makes me feel things.

-----

I am still absolutely sickened by what you said. This is the first flaw I have found in you that is not charming or likeable about you. It's just incredibly sad. I said the other night that there isn't a thing I want to change about you, that despite your flaws, I find you perfect. Well, I've found one thing I would change now. That attitude you have towards yourself is just terrible.

Why do you think people abandon you? Why do you think you've been used as a sexual object in the past? Why do you think your sister walks all over you? It's because of an attitude like that. People know how you think you're "just some girl from Michigan". They know that you won't stick up for yourself. They know you think you're not worth fighting for. People can detect vulnerability easily, and they love exploiting it. But I can't stand letting you live like that.

Maybe my abscence is the wake up call you need. To start seeing something in yourself. You're not like me. You actually have a lot you're capable of. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to have someone who doesn't even need to "lift the veil". Your beauty and spirit just shines through the veil. And that's always been my position. I didn't need to lift any metaphorical veils. I just thought you were really special from the beginning.

Regardless of whether or not I off myself this year (which isn't a result of you at all, so don't tell yourself it is), I won't be around forever. I could end up in an accident any second. There's been a couple of times in the last few months where I nearly have been killed. And even forgetting the idea if death, it's very possible you will just get swept away with all of your friends, and I will be busy doing my own thing.

I won't always be around to tell you you're special, beautiful, unique, and worth every second I spend with you. And I've noticed you've been trying to push me away lately, so I certainly can't stick around if you don't want me around.

That's why YOU need to at least tell yourself you're competent and capable, and above all, not refer to yourself as JUST some girl. Because if I can't do it, and you won't, who will?

At the least, you could get your mother to treat you like a little angel. Or your father. Because I'm sure they love you.

I would do anything for you guys, even die, you all are my best friends.

So it seems your back.
Obviously you didn't see my privious post, so I'll do it again, more detailed this time.
your love? is that how you see it? Like its your love thats not enought? Becose thats not how I see it at all. Not at all.
This is how i see it.
I see it the other way around, actually, I see me, trying to be your freind, and you, you denying it.
You were my first freind here, and always my best females friend, except foxish, foxish was also one of my best friends and I think that it bothered yo that I was still her friend(both of their friends) after everthing happend, and I agree, she was a bad influence on you, but what's that got to do with me?
I just don't see why you always said you were my friend, then ignored me like I would buy that crap about my posts just not showing up on your page and just happening to show up when I say something about it.
But then I also think it bothered you that zack is one of my best freinds here, after everything, and that it was becouse of you that we met.
Niw, theres more I can say on the part about me being an attention whore, but this is already a long enought post s I'll wait and see if you read this part first.

Okay, I was kind of feeling sorry for this guy before, but now I'm getting miserable about how you're all acting to him.
Today this guy came to me and I think he almost hugged me, saying how I was his best friend and stuff. I mean, the guy is my friend but of course I have other friends but this is the guy I feel the most happiest around.
He gets accused of being a pervert for brushing dirt off his leg while doing Rugby while you draw dicks everywhere ((Which is 'SO ****ING HILARIOUS' btw)) and fantasize with your friends about screwing the History teacher. :I
Anyway, you are all a bunch of dicks, go sort out the way you act to people who may not be as sporty or as 'sexy' as you, and don't talk to me until this guy doesn't feel so depressed and angry at him self over being called names, being accused of things he didn't do and feeling like he's left out.
Goodnight. +bows+

lolwut?

Dude, respect, she totally deserved that.

I'm not "doing" you. I'm 13. You're being ridiculous, and creepy now. I knew you liked to move fast, but not like this...

Quote: huge dotd freak

*snip*

Oh my gosh if this is about me.
It so is, ain't it?
How would Zacky do anything? Foxish would, but not Zacky. You're really pissing me off because this.
You know I hate foxish and I can't say I can be friends with many who knew her as a close friend, as you treasure her so much.
And I'm gonna say I was more of an attention seeker back then, but after that small moment of realization I stopped trying to seek attention.
I'm sure this is about me.

I don't care what you think. I don't care what you say. I'm finally taking a stand for once. She's my girlfriend, and you really don't have a say in the matter. Nothing can change my opinion of her, not even you.

Yeah, it was, but thats not how I meant for you to see it, I know it was foxish not him and thats not what I meant.

I gues my post came out wrong.
Okay one, since when do I treasure foxish? I probably wouldn't even want to be her friend if she ever came back.
and I meant that I was being the attention seeker.

Quote: huge dotd freak

Yeah, it was, but thats not how I meant for you to see it, I know it was foxish not him and thats not what I meant.

I gues my post came out wrong.
Okay one, since when do I treasure foxish? I probably wouldn't even want to be her friend if she ever came back.
and I meant that I was being the attention seeker.

AAAAND flick.
Have a nice day.

And I'm done, I'm not even going to try anymore, Ive tried to explain somethings to you but my posts just aren't coming out the way i meant, so sorry for everything, goodbye.

Good, cuz I was done a long time ago.

I can't believe it.. You're proud of me. I was so scared I'd fail and be a disappointment.. Looks like that miracle happened. <3

Son Gohan why're you sooo cute >~>

I hope I'm not getting sick again.

I really don't need this on top of things going on right now.

Honest.

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Please don't.

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You seem to enjoy picking what you want to believe or not. Have you not realized that this is indeed a symptom?

---

It's a 'crime' to value happiness more than anything else, is it?

OK, I'm sorry. It's not my fault I feel like this. Not my fault I can't take this life much longer.

But you're ignoring me completely now. Not even giving me closure on the gift thing.
I know I hurt you. But I just don't get why my disappearance would make it so that you can't live with yourself. It's almost as if you're angry because you know what you'll do when I die, and you feel I'm betraying you. But how could I matter so much? Actually, I ask that question to many who make them same claim as you - What's so important about me? I want to die peacefully, but how can I when people are telling me the things they are? It's almost like an asenine way of threatening me.

I never sleep at all. Because of what goes on in my mind. I don't know what to think. I tell myself I shouldn't interact with people anymore to help ease things. It feels like most people have forgotten to care about me, but a few are just hanging onto this idealised version of me that they believe I will be some day...and I just don't get it.

I'm just confused and helpless.

ripto'd for thoughts