You know, I just want to say that I think I am now genuinely ... happy. I strive to make peoples lives better and always go out of my way to lend a hand and a listening ear, and it truely pays off. The world needs more people who go out and help others and spread love and compassion, and I'm glad to have found my people ... and happy to be one of them.
People notice the small things that you do for them. A nice comment, a cup of tea, or just being an ear. People notice it. And I've gained a lot of great, amazing friendships with people I truely admire. I went to an exhibition opening last night and i realise .. people truely appreciate me and love me. I'm just glad I could be a positive impact on their lives, even if it may end up being a short part of it. We're only here once, so I want to make people's lives worth being, you know?
...
I think I'm content. I think I'm happy.
... this also totally has nothing to do with my favourite person saying she loves me and calling me a gem and that she appreciates everything i do for her and she apologies for being so busy and never giving me the attention she believes i deserve nooooo
we lost our baby on monday. I feel like my whole world has been taken from me. I don't know what to do.
****.. I just want my child back. It doesn't feel real. I don't care about old friendships, or my wasted education, or my family that I never knew. All of those things are meaningless. I just want Pumpkin to be alive again.
That family that was killed in Mexico are super close friends with my coworkers sister and while i obviously do not know them nor really agree with the Mormon faith it’s extremely upsetting to read the comments and replies and tweets about this incident and trying to make it political. Children were ****ing gunned down and burned alive, take a step away from the ****ing computer Karen.
-sleep
-go to work
-come home
-eat
-sleep
-work
-repeat
then payday comes and i gotta try make it all last another soul-sucking month, just to be paid again and try make that all last the next brain-decaying month...etc..etc..etc.
im really tired of going in there, sharing something, ANYTHING i even remotely like, and then someone piping up with "uh actually this is problematic because X"
look, if you wanna have an ideological conversation about themes of racism and imperialism in fire emblem or explain the issues of homophobia in a single scene of persona 5 or discuss sexism present in elements of the metal gear solid series or talk about how animators are paid for a movie then fine, go ahead
but i dont want any part of it, i already have awful anxiety, and talking to me about how i shouldnt like what feels like anything i actually like makes it infinitely worse, its one of the MANY reasons im really sick of talking in there and REALLY wanna leave
i dont wanna sound like a boomer or anything but this has been going on for like 2 years and its exhausting, i practically dont want to express my interests anymore
Life’s strange. I’ve changed so much as a person in just the last 6 months and it feels good, but different. After what the universe has thrown at me these last few months, I’m a firm believer that you cannot grow without bringing people along with your journey. Not only do they provide guidance when you feel lost, but also a sense of accountability for acknowledging and owning up to your actions. I truly believe 2019 has been the year I began transitioning towards the next step of my life, and I feel ready to tackle it head on now.
I want next week to just come and go, I am so done with this semester. I need to bounce back hard. Hopefully with how I'm approaching this new system I will do better next semester.
Yep, nope this isn't good.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 07:03:35 15/11/2019 by willspyro
If you nasty nasty ***** try your damnedest to defend your console being on fire from a company or companies rushing your garbage bin out. I will personally lose it.
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If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest
icon from Empoh
dan i love you but for the love of christ please stop raining on my parade, huh??? i want to spend time with the girl and you're always hanging around and making it all three of us!! i want it to be us two! i spend time with you outside of seeing the girl, okay?? it's hard enough being alone with her, and now you've started hanging back too so it's even harder.
dan i love you to bits but ****ing goooo awayyyyyy you're making me frustrated lol
Several years ago I said to myself "The day I find my favourite album on vinyl locally and without actively looking for it, I'll start my vinyl collection." Well that day was Friday so yesterday (Saturday) I brought a good turntable and a couple more records. Can't wait to get broke. : D
speaking of dreams, i dreamt that my cat was working online customer service from home. she had a headset and was grumpy about having to learn to type on the phone with her little nose.
for 22 years ive tried to figure out who the **** i really am and now i think im done
i dont WANT to be anything, i didnt ASK to be here
im tired of the sickness, im tired of the suffering, tired of the depression and anxiety
i wasnt even supposed to be born, and half the time i think that probably would have been a better decision on the universe's part
all i am is a tumor given form, and all i do is leech onto people and things and suck away until nothing's left
ive tried to stop, ive tried to stop for years, but nothing changes no matter what i make, its just who i am and nothing i can do will ever change that
so who am i? im nothing but a disgrace and a monster
im a liar, a slut, a freak, ****, im practically not even human at this point, i dont deserve the same rights as others
if theres one thing ive learned on my years on this hunk of useless, meaningless rock, its that people dont ****ing change, no matter what they do
they say they will, and then they dont, deep down inside they stay the same, or theyre a really good liar
i know firsthand, im exactly the same despite the constant effort to change, but all i do is put another goddamn mask on my morphing, blank slate of a nonexistant personality and pretend im better. im not. and no matter what i do, i never will be
its taking a remarkable amount of effort to not just grab a thumbtack and start hacking away at my ankles again
i know itd hurt people, but whats the point? i hurt myself and everyone moves on, nothing matters
if youve read to this point, (which, lets be honest, no one cares to), then congratulations! your ultimate goal has been realized! vespi FINALLY took the hint and realized that shes a complete waste of space thats never gonna amount to anything! i hope youre satisfied!
I know it’s taboo to respond to these or whatever, but I’m here if you want to talk, okay? I’ve felt that **** before. Still going through the throes of it.
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Where’s the account deletion button when you need one?
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 04:36:04 19/11/2019 by BlueFox
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