darkSpyro

and in that moment i knew i was doing better with my depression

I wonder if the friends I have outside of the group I'm in... Think I'm so awkward to hang with that they avoid me.

Is it weird to say that I can be there when they need someone to talk to? Is there something about me that makes it hard to open up to about anything?

Is there something I'm doing that weirds them out? I'm sorry I'm so socially awkward and don't know how to talk, avoiding me hurts so much. I'm trying to get closer but if feels like I'm so awkward I'm just getting farther.

I'm so glad... I have at least one group that accepts me for who I am...

Because... It's so hard... Not to hate myself... Especially when it feels like... That I might be trying to be avoided on purpose.

I feel the most myself I've been in a very long time these days.

help girls like me now

This school year has turned into a struggle since January, it's like I don't care anymore because I'll be going to a different school next year.

Quote: Vespi

Quote: Carmelita Fox

well just remember that this is the same man who spends all his time pining for 2D anime girls and thinks having friends makes you weak

clearly he learned nothing from anime

friends are the hearts all around us that will pierce the darkness or whatever

I'm watching Ergo Proxy right now. I have no idea what's going on but nobody is trying to make friends with eachother or whatever so maybe I'm watching the wrong kinds of anime.

were you constantly refreshing dS to check if you were unsuspended

Quote: Carmelita Fox

were you constantly refreshing dS to check if you were unsuspended

Not really. I knew I was gonna get unbanned at around 1:30AM, when you get banned it gives a message telling you how long you've been banned for as well as when the ban began.

>"No more Remakes!"
> they say after having begged for the remakes of two other franchises for 4 and a half years now
> is currently begging for an Ape Escape Remake

Okaaaaay lad.

i have this thing where if i got too close to people i start saying weird stuff that makes them mad

i really feel worthless

I hate my house

This is fine
This is fine
This is fine

THIS IS NOT FINE

i miss you

i used to think you were super cool, but then something happened and now you dont enjoy anything, in fact you actively **** on even the few things you like

its honestly really sad

not worth reading

This is going to be really fun.

Well the neighbors probably heard me, my roommates are probably worried, but I feel better at least

Oh yeah, winter vacation. Oh deities of laziness I shall dedicate this period of time to you.

You know why I do the things I do? Because when I do eventually come to the end of my road, I don't want to look back on it with too many regrets. All the the things I could've done, but didn't. Because if I only get one life, I might as well make it a good one. And if there's a part of that life that's not so good, I try to make it better. Some people might say "Well, what good will it do?" And I say "A lot more good than not doing anything about it." Because if nothing is done to make it better, then it never will get better. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. And even if what I do about it doesn't change anything, I can at least say I tried. That's more than can be said for some people. And even if nothing can be done about it, then why let it bother me? I've got better things to do then let something like that get me down. I put it out of my mind and move past it, and focus on the things I do like, the things that are important to me. Like helping a friend. Because everybody deserves to enjoy the time they have, and if I can help somebody else enjoy their time, if I can make their time better, then I'll enjoy my time even more. And if I can't, then at least I can say I tried. Not everything works out, but if you ask me, that's okay. If anything, it makes the times things do work even better. And I'll keep doing the things I like, sometimes winning, sometimes losing, and why? Because the fact that nothing matters, doesn't matter. Ironic, isn't it? A couple hundred years from now, the name "Skyhunter" will have been lost to history, and that's okay. It doesn't matter. The only thing that's important is that I made what I wanted with my life. The only thing that matters is the time I have now, and the things I choose to do with it.

just some IRL issues
im hungry

double post, rough day, if me posting here twice bugs you then sue me or whatever

_____________

Might need to take a break for a while.

Kind of been in and out of being okay to broody af.

hey can you like
not
for one second

I'm so weak. I don't know how I will make it through this...

If you're honestly defending keeping Emiya Alter's original, blatantly racist design the same and are fighting against the changes under the guise of "censorship is always bad wah" then you really need to reevaluate your life.
Please take this personally if you are like this.

i wonder if its too late to make friends w old friends...don't even remember why/how we fell out :")

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
You're a ****ing idiot :))))))
Like hell if you get back together with her will I stay a part of your "family" :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


----------------------------


You better not let her ****ing work here again I will ****ing quit i swear to god I refuse to work with her and deal with her bull**** and suffer everyday she's there.

**** squids

Praying will be useful about now

That dream just now was too ****ing real wtf.

Why are you doing this? Does it make you more reassured about your position? Does it give you power to take control of your own free personal life?

You know what... I think that you want to get even more involved but are too afraid to expose your personality to the people and especially to the people who would support the living hell out of you. I just hope that you will find your answer since you are undisputedly worthy of having a tremendous and emotionally rich life.

Fear is ok. But remember that the people you are afraid of are also afraid to invest into you because they don't want to disappoint and harm you. Just take the chance and try to rule the world because you have the wings to carry you. Don't be afraid... have the knowledge in your own power and don't give in to faith and doubt.

i need more professional help than just a counselor

time to read some

_____

you didnt tell me this was a tourney

Waiting

Innocent and needles victims of one's own behaviour. Maybe the monster has to be put to sleep in order to end the chaos. Only hope for tomorrow is the understanding of the ones who matter and love. Thank you.

I won't get much of a chance this week, will I?


Not that it's a BIG deal, but it'd be nice.

- - -

entropy noun
en-tro-py| \ ˈen-trə-pē \
plural entropies

2.
lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder.

Did You Know?
With its Greek prefix en-, meaning "within", and the trop- root here meaning "change", entropy basically means "change within (a closed system)". The closed system we usually think of when speaking of entropy (especially if we're not physicists) is the entire universe. But entropy applies to closed systems of any size. Entropy is seen when the ice in a glass of water in a warm room melts—that is, as the temperature of everything in the room evens out. In a slightly different type of entropy, a drop of food coloring in that glass of water soon spreads out evenly. However, when a nonphysicist uses the word, he or she is usually trying to describe a large-scale collapse.

I hate having fragile days like this, where I feel like Im cracking apart and all I can do it slow it down. Even fun things chip away at it. It's tiring. It hurts my chest. It hurts so much. My face feels weird, feeling like im gonna cry constantly feelsl ike something is pressing at the back of my eyes and in my nose. My new headset is helping, it make the music take up so much of my senses. But ts only temporary. I'm still falling to pieces

i’ll never be whole again

2017 was my peak

i could die any day now

*Praying intensifies*