darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > Personal Thoughts
Riolu-Blue-247
Diamond Sparx
Gems: 8843
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#42901 Posted: 21:59:41 01/10/2018
Maybe one day I won't feel anxious and bad the day after having a good conversation with a friend. I feel like I've messed up somewhere, i talked too much about bad things or i just talked too much. oof
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I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on |
kardonis
Platinum Sparx
Gems: 6366
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#42902 Posted: 02:54:02 02/10/2018
I should probably say something, but that wouldn't change anything would it?
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I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl |
Grizzle
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2323
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#42903 Posted: 19:16:55 02/10/2018
stop it it's so obnoxious
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kardonis
Platinum Sparx
Gems: 6366
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#42904 Posted: 00:34:57 03/10/2018
I want to scream
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I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl |
weebbby
Emerald Sparx
Gems: 4220
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#42905 Posted: 04:35:47 03/10/2018
Yeah... I’m being a complete hypocrite... and probably even starting to be passive aggressive at this point... But you’re completely rejecting any points I make, bringing up the same topics day after day, you’re blowing every single thing out of proportion, and snapping when I just try to make simple comparisons. You focus on the minute details, that, while important, don’t completely influence things the way you tend to think. But you’re so set in those focuses that nothing you say these days makes sense, you’re downgrading everything to simple base forms where things don’t even connect anymore, yet stringing them together with the tightest knots you can. You refuse to even acknowledge that none of this is exclusively the way you feel, you’re making excuses to the point that it sounds stupid and illogical to argue against it. All of this? It’s exactly what I do, and exactly what you’ve helped me through before. But I’m failing at helping, to the point I feel like I’m consistently doing more harm than good for you. I don’t want you to feel like I’m abandoning you, but I know you’re just the slightest bit better off with me not interacting quite as heavily for a few days... I don’t want to abandon you, but it’s something that talking through with me obviously isn’t helping you... Not toward you if you think it is |
Bolt
Hunter
Gems: 6158
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#42906 Posted: 05:28:29 04/10/2018
Okay okay I'm feeling a little better about myself right now. I've left an impression on everyone at work, apparently, and everyone there likes me!! Oh I'm so glad!
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HeyitsHotDog
Diamond Sparx
Gems: 8526
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#42907 Posted: 02:37:56 05/10/2018
Should have started 3 years ago.....
Thinking about how long it's been, damn.....I've never felt anything like that before. Shame, anger, and sadness all mixed into one. It feels horrid.
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Hey is there anything you want me to bring for the rest of the week and if so it’s so cool that you can do something and just do it like that |
Vespi
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2866
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#42908 Posted: 03:29:10 06/10/2018
no matter how hard i try, it feels like im still getting worse is this stupid meatsack of a body capable of positive emotions because im really starting to think it isnt
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
| parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577 |
#42909 Posted: 05:33:47 06/10/2018
idk fam. not really sure if i wanna keep my job here.
trying to leave work is..like...the most stressful time of the day because i have to worry about asshat leaving and you getting mad at me. i have enough on my plate atm, i dont need you being like this when im triyng to leave ----- i cant imagine being this petty
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looks like ive got some things to do... |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 05:41:15 06/10/2018 by parisruelz12
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Vespi
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2866
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#42910 Posted: 06:13:58 06/10/2018
![[User Posted Image]](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/spongebob/images/c/ce/Rock_bottom.png/revision/latest?cb=20150705005709) - - -
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
| terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418 |
#42911 Posted: 17:45:50 06/10/2018
i'll just shut up. not like anyone wants me there anyway
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TheToyNerd
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2137
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#42912 Posted: 01:06:22 07/10/2018
Loser loser loser loser loser loser loser!
God I am such a ****ing loser!!!!!!! |
DragonCamo
Platinum Sparx
Gems: 6692
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#42913 Posted: 03:38:33 07/10/2018
Please stop asking me :))) I don't want her ****ing number and I don't need her help, i'd rather die :)))
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Gay 4 GARcher |
| Buchi Ripto Gems: 445 |
#42914 Posted: 11:02:58 07/10/2018
I wonder if this was a good idea after all...
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Dark Lord
Platinum Sparx
Gems: 7365
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#42915 Posted: 17:59:22 07/10/2018
I get sooo giddy and happy when people call me that, I really enjoy it. AAAAHHHH Happy thoughts! Even if it's just in that chat place and group!~ <3
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Like fallen snow, I lay on the ground and wait for my turn to fade away, no matter how unique I seem. It's my gift to you... A true sacrifice... |
Project_Unnamed
Prismatic Sparx
Gems: 10573
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#42916 Posted: 18:06:25 07/10/2018
Dear lord, I am an idiot. Acknowledging one's own intellectual limitations and horrid state of wisdom does not help when concepts you try to learn are actually out of your nature-given abilities. Well, let's hope that the lottery ticket gives me the jackpot someday or else I'm in for a miserable and not-even-mediocre professional and personal life.
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I might give you more opinions... for a small fee of course. |
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TheToyNerd
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2137
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#42917 Posted: 21:02:28 07/10/2018
The worst part about trying to get better with controlling your emotions is knowing the damage that was caused by a previous lack of control.
I’ve probably turned off so many friends forever and now whenever I see them, I just got super guilty and can’t bring myself to apologize and start over. I’ve been given so many chances with other people to get my **** together and just squandered it in the heat of a moment. |
| Buchi Ripto Gems: 445 |
#42918 Posted: 21:07:04 07/10/2018
Guess I was wrong. I... I need to stop this. I thought I needed to talk to others to help myself, but it doesn't work. I need to keep my problems to myself and only myself. Anything else just makes things worse, and that's not good.
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Vespi
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2866
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#42919 Posted: 17:12:58 08/10/2018
well, that went well
now i have some strategies to cope now, and im feeling good about today!! i can do it!!
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
| parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577 |
#42920 Posted: 18:48:38 08/10/2018
honestly you are kind of annoying
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looks like ive got some things to do... |
Skyhunter
Diamond Sparx
Gems: 9268
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#42921 Posted: 22:58:48 08/10/2018
You're telling me that you have no idea what you said that made him think you were breaking up with him even though you literally said exactly that to him?
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It doesn't matter if the bars are iron or gold, a cage is a cage. |
| Buchi Ripto Gems: 445 |
#42922 Posted: 12:49:00 09/10/2018
I'm probably not a good person. Nobody likes me and I only irritate other people when I speak. The best option is to shut up and get back to Theater of Pain, that's the only productive thing I can do right now. I'm worried that things will go wrong but it's not like I've got anything better to do anyway. What have I got to lose anymore?
EDIT: Oh yeah, and as I remembered last night, I have a perfect alternative if ToP fails. That may become the best mistake I have ever made, who knows? Sometimes mistakes are good things after all. I still don't understand why anybody liked that but it certainly seemed to have worked. |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 12:51:51 09/10/2018 by Buchi
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kardonis
Platinum Sparx
Gems: 6366
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#42923 Posted: 13:40:44 09/10/2018
Aaaaaaaaaargh this is so damn confusing
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I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl |
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TheToyNerd
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2137
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#42924 Posted: 16:16:09 09/10/2018
Man, I need to find a better place to dissociate besides the bathroom.
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Skyhunter
Diamond Sparx
Gems: 9268
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#42925 Posted: 17:28:54 09/10/2018
Mm hmm. Exactly as I expected. I call you out on your bull****, and backed into a corner with nothing to say for yourself, you break down and play the victim card to get me to sympathize with you. Well it's not gonna work. I ain't falling for that anymore. You brought this on yourself and now you get to suffer the consequences.
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It doesn't matter if the bars are iron or gold, a cage is a cage. |
| King-Pen Krazy Yellow Sparx Gems: 1907 |
#42926 Posted: 17:58:25 09/10/2018
Seriously, could you at least tell me before you DELETE ALL THE WORK I DID LAST NIGHT!
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Rise and Shine Ursine |
| willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862 |
#42927 Posted: 18:28:57 09/10/2018
Down and back second whistle! *first whistle* *second whistle*
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Bolt
Hunter
Gems: 6158
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#42928 Posted: 20:01:20 09/10/2018
Wishin my holidays away just for the chance to see you again ~
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| Buchi Ripto Gems: 445 |
#42929 Posted: 20:21:40 09/10/2018
I knew it. Trying this will just make me really depressed and I don't think I will have the willpower to go through that again. I completely lack the motivation, the only real reason I can think of that would keep me going is the idea of money. I need to try it anyway.
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Vespi
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2866
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#42930 Posted: 21:06:30 09/10/2018
damn, i forgot what its like to be happy and confident
i LOVE it
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
Jaggedstar
Diamond Sparx
Gems: 8018
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#42931 Posted: 21:37:26 09/10/2018
i wanna message my ex girlfriend because it's been 4 months and i still miss her so much and think about her all the time and it's ****ing me up...but i dont know if i should.
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| Buchi Ripto Gems: 445 |
#42932 Posted: 00:01:18 10/10/2018
I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing right now. It's 1AM and I don't feel sleepy. Well I guess that now I'm effectively suspended from college there's no reason to keep any kind of sleep pattern again... I've got something far more important anyway. I shouldn't care about anything else now.
Why don't I skip the main descriptions and move on to the minimal right now? I have plenty of ideas I want to write down but I'll likely forget about them if I spend too long deciding how a single battle will play out. |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 00:01:49 10/10/2018 by Buchi
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Jaggedstar
Diamond Sparx
Gems: 8018
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#42933 Posted: 00:47:40 10/10/2018
@the person who PM'd me regarding my PT: i tried to reply but it appears you've blocked me...? :/
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| terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418 |
#42934 Posted: 00:48:00 10/10/2018
can't let anyone in. they all hurt me eventually. gotta distance myself
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| Buchi Ripto Gems: 445 |
#42935 Posted: 01:11:25 10/10/2018
Okay my eyes are starting to feel heavy so I guess I should sleep now. I've got a basic outline of the first part of the game, that should be good enough for now.
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Jaggedstar
Diamond Sparx
Gems: 8018
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#42936 Posted: 02:40:01 10/10/2018
lol so i was reading through an old topic in the yotd board and came across an argument between me and mariofanstar, in which i saw he made ME apologise for HIM being a dick...well, it's been six years, but if you ever read this mariofanstar..you're a ****ing idiot and no i am not sorry. dick.
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Dark Lord
Platinum Sparx
Gems: 7365
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#42937 Posted: 08:29:11 10/10/2018
I almost did it It was pressed against my skin, I was thinking that I knew what would happen and I was ready for it. It's something I deserve, I make so many mistakes but this wouldn't be one. It'd fix things... This is how things should go... Then I got scared again... Please it would've been small... Please do it, stop hesistating... Stop telling me this is stupid... -----
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Like fallen snow, I lay on the ground and wait for my turn to fade away, no matter how unique I seem. It's my gift to you... A true sacrifice... |
| Buchi Ripto Gems: 445 |
#42938 Posted: 11:34:30 10/10/2018
There are several things I could do right now. Which one would yield the greatest positive results? I'm not sure. I'd like to go full steam ahead with ToP, but that might not be a good idea in my current mental state. Perhaps I should try using this time to ease my mind a little instead. But can I even do that, when my mind is only thinking of how useless I am? I need to try and achieve something no matter the cost. Forget my limits.
On another note, I vaguely recall her showing up in my dreams again. I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing. One thing's for sure, it probably means I'm not in a particularly good mental state, it only seems to happen when I'm feeling down. I am feeling kind of pissed off come to think of it. Do I want the dreams to come back? Maybe. |
| King-Pen Krazy Yellow Sparx Gems: 1907 |
#42939 Posted: 12:29:53 10/10/2018
*Breathes in*
AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
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Rise and Shine Ursine |
somePerson
Diamond Sparx
Gems: 8864
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#42940 Posted: 17:02:56 10/10/2018
stop.
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Vespi
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2866
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#42941 Posted: 17:50:51 10/10/2018
listen, i know im a hypocritical ***** and literal human garbage that pisses everyone off, but can you please stop ****ting on my city?? thanks
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
| Buchi Ripto Gems: 445 |
#42942 Posted: 19:33:13 10/10/2018
I guess I'm not in a good mental state at all then. I'm feeling particularly more confused and conflicted in these past few weeks than the times before. This will be fun.
Nobody would care if I were gone, maybe nobody would notice either. I give no compassion and obtain none in return, just as things should be. I have nobody who cares about me besides my parents. If anyone else says "I care" or "I notice" then that is false because I'm sure I'm not any different than the thousands of other people with their own problems, most likely even greater than mine (who am I to complain about anything?). The only reason anyone would remember me in particular is as some emo edgelord. I'm no different, I don't have a right to complain like my life is **** just because of some minor inconveniences. I live and die just like everyone else... we all die eventually. |
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TheToyNerd
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2137
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#42943 Posted: 19:33:28 10/10/2018
I have nothing going on in my pathetic ass life
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| Buchi Ripto Gems: 445 |
#42944 Posted: 21:34:27 10/10/2018
I wonder what would actually happen if I just left right now? I wouldn't know, I wouldn't be here anymore so how could I know? It would only be a question of what happened next. I don't believe there is nothing but blank nothingness in the thereafter, perhaps she is waiting for me. Maybe that's what those dreams were about. There's nothing to say otherwise... yes, maybe that is the thereafter. I have no reason to stay, maybe I really should just go?
I mean, why should I care about anything anymore, I could just be denying something so much greater by refusing to leave. Because of my goals? What about them? Would they really bring me the peace and happiness I desire so much? No, perhaps not, maybe going to this place is the only way I can achieve true happiness. My goals here mean nothing. |
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Bolt
Hunter
Gems: 6158
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#42945 Posted: 21:59:42 10/10/2018
Okay, this has been in my mind for a long while and I think I'm finally content with the conclusion. I'm pretty sure I'm only interested in pursuing a relationship with other women at the moment. My head has been all messed up wondering if I want a romantic relationship or just a platonic one. Still not sure, but if I ever want a romantic one I think it would have to be with another woman. I've become a little more open to the idea of sex I think, still very very uncomfortable and not sure if I'd ever want to participate in it ... but I would only feel comfortable with it if it was another woman. I don't know what's happened over the course of the past few weeks. I'm not so much of a "prude" anymore and my mind has opened up more to it. But I'm not sexually attracted to anyone. I wouldn't look at someone hot and think "oh I want to have sex with them". It's only if I was in a very deep relationship with another woman that I'd ever consider it, and they'd have to be the one to initiate it. Sorry if this is tmi or whatever, I just felt the need to write it down to solidify my thoughts. |
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TheToyNerd
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2137
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#42946 Posted: 23:53:17 10/10/2018
Oh no, it’s happening again... urgh
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Bolt
Hunter
Gems: 6158
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#42947 Posted: 03:36:20 11/10/2018
We got her in to a rehab place and it sounds really good. It's more so a mental hospital than a rehab, but she isn't able to leave without parent's permission! And they've fought so hard to get her in here, they're not going to just let her go. AND if she tries to leave she'll get actually admitted to the actual mental hospital. So she's there for three weeks! HOPE TO GOD that it's going to help change her mindset. The therapy sounds great and they have a drug addiction program as well.
My stress won't be as bad for three weeks at least. ;; |
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