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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > Personal Thoughts
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Personal Thoughts [STICKY]
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862
#42601 Posted: 22:41:40 08/08/2018
Thighs are on fire
Beemo Emerald Sparx Gems: 3070
#42602 Posted: 01:47:47 09/08/2018
I honestly don’t know how much more I can take. I’m so ****ing close — I’m so ****ing ready to just end it all, but even then, I’m too much of a pussy to do it. Someone kill me, please.
somePerson Diamond Sparx Gems: 8864
#42603 Posted: 06:53:50 09/08/2018
making more female friends :)
---
Star Wars didn't happen, but it's a rad movie.
Riolu-Blue-247 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8843
#42604 Posted: 08:27:52 09/08/2018
Just a week until i have to go. It's hard not to get scared. Just hope it all goes well in the end.
---
I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
Trix Master 100 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8213
#42605 Posted: 08:51:09 09/08/2018
You're the neediest **** I've ever seen. Compared to me you're also the laziest **** I've ever seen. When Dad tells you, you need to help build a ****ing thing to help benefit you, you're just like "nah man you build it" ***** if you want **** done do it yourself. Haven't you ****ing learned from last time because of Dad raising your bed too high?!

So tired of **** falling from there, hitting my god damn leg and waking me up in the middle of the night. As soon as I can find a job and a pet happy place I'm ****ing out of here. Maybe half of my problems would be gone e.e
---
If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest
icon from Empoh
crystalhero37 Platinum Sparx Gems: 5536
#42606 Posted: 10:14:55 09/08/2018
I'm wasting my time. This is just making me feel worse.

- -

I'm glad I have the friends that I have, and how patient they are with me. I really need to remember that.
You guys help me so much.

- -

Goddamn it feels like I can't even talk about or with people within my own community.
We're going through almost the exact same thing, and you have no idea how much I wanna tell you, but I just can't do it, not now. It's stupid it has to be treated like this, but it's the environment I'm in that isn't the greatest.


:////// icannotwritewellanymore
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 14:30:46 09/08/2018 by crystalhero37
ClassicSpyroLUV Yellow Sparx Gems: 1193
#42607 Posted: 16:13:18 09/08/2018
I ended a friendship today, my only one. I did it out of the blue but it needed to be done, and done sooner. God I suck at confrontation. I hope I did the right thing. I hope you can learn and grow from what I said to you, and never say what you said to me ever again. I feel lonely now. Maybe I'm not as anti social as I thought... ****... How I make new friends again? I haven't done that for decades and I was never any good at it. For that matter how do I KEEP friends? I've NEVER done that.
Skyhunter Diamond Sparx Gems: 9268
#42608 Posted: 16:48:47 09/08/2018
Look, I get it. I get that you don't want to get too hyped about something because there's a chance it might not turn out the way you hoped. I get it, we've all been there at some point. But there's a difference between not getting your hopes up so you're not as disappointed, and being a cynical little ***** that goes into things automatically assuming they're going to suck. And I'm not wrong just because I give the benefit of the doubt, and I'd really wish you'd stop trying to push your "everything sucks until proven otherwise" mindset on me.
---
It doesn't matter if the bars are iron or gold, a cage is a cage.
somePerson Diamond Sparx Gems: 8864
#42609 Posted: 18:20:11 09/08/2018
I don't know why but I've become super social after graduating high school
---
Star Wars didn't happen, but it's a rad movie.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 19:21:49 09/08/2018 by somePerson
ClassicSpyroLUV Yellow Sparx Gems: 1193
#42610 Posted: 18:41:17 09/08/2018
Probably because high schoolers suck.
somePerson Diamond Sparx Gems: 8864
#42611 Posted: 19:22:20 09/08/2018
Quote: ClassicSpyroLUV
Probably because high schoolers suck.



yeah probably
---
Star Wars didn't happen, but it's a rad movie.
Grizzle Gold Sparx Gems: 2323
#42612 Posted: 21:03:35 09/08/2018
that ****ing hurts

why does everyone leave me i dont get it
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#42613 Posted: 00:55:41 10/08/2018
Sometimes I feel like the Enclave Communications Officer from Fallout 2
---
i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862
#42614 Posted: 00:57:40 10/08/2018
Thighs are not on fire
Beemo Emerald Sparx Gems: 3070
#42615 Posted: 03:01:14 10/08/2018
Why can't I learn that other people's views on me don't matter?
terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418
#42616 Posted: 07:21:13 10/08/2018
Why can I not let go of this site

I have no friends here anymore, and it's not like anyone talks to me, but why do I feel like I need to check in every once in a while? I can't cut this site out of my life and it's toxic.
somePerson Diamond Sparx Gems: 8864
#42617 Posted: 12:30:36 10/08/2018
im gonna try to not say retarded anymore and cut out autism jokes from my life
---
Star Wars didn't happen, but it's a rad movie.
wanderist Platinum Sparx Gems: 7090
#42618 Posted: 17:12:31 10/08/2018
Well. Time to start cursing about my school again because they suck at communication.
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862
#42619 Posted: 07:02:31 11/08/2018
It seems that the transition from middle school to high school is successful. Just got to bypass the sophomore slump.
terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418
#42620 Posted: 04:52:44 12/08/2018
He's dead.... I only met him once and I know he's better than anyone in the family. I still remember him asking me about college and talking about my dad. And he's gone. I'll miss you Uncle Ronnie

the fact most of those people are my friends in that topic and I'm on none of their favorite people on ds lists hurts a little
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 15:46:25 12/08/2018 by terrafin2299
Bolt Hunter Gems: 6158
#42621 Posted: 21:45:35 12/08/2018
these medications are messing with my head. im constantly tired, even more so than before, and i feel like my mind is in a daze. im avoiding going online now just to avoid negativity, i don't need to see that stuff right now. started reading again to get my mind off things, but i still can't get her out of my head. i worry and worry and worry that she hates me and never wants to talk to me again. i don't know if that's true, but it feels like it is.

am i a good person? do people want to speak to me? please ... i need some reassurance.
i think she's just too busy to reply and see me, but it doesn't stop my head from going to the conclusion that she hates me.
do you think she feels bad about missing lunch on thursday and hasn't replied because she feels guilty, or just doesn't want to see me again?

im starting to think i have more of a problem than just depression and anxiety. like, some sort of obsessive disorder or something.
god im never going to be able to have a proper relationship with anyone. im either always too overbearing and clingy, or too standoffish and distant.
screw me.
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
crystalhero37 Platinum Sparx Gems: 5536
#42622 Posted: 13:37:14 13/08/2018
Do you have any idea of what's coming out of your mouth.

- -

Well that settles it, you're awful people! smilie I have NO idea in how you guys think the way you do. Pure idiocy.

- -

looks like I'm never gonna be able to be myself and make myself feel comfortable just staying here, huh.


- - -
Bolt Hunter Gems: 6158
#42623 Posted: 18:23:04 13/08/2018
... I'm going to say something to her today!! I know it's risky, but some people are just worth the risk, especially when they are one of those rare people that make your heart glow!!
(but it's not romantic love, just very strong platonic love haha)
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
azz01 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3172
#42624 Posted: 19:20:57 13/08/2018
It's a really weird feeling, but this has been the happiest year of my life. I'm healthy and losing weight, my anxiety and depression aren't at me as much, I'm doing well in school and I'm just a for confident person in general. I feel like I could take on the world.
---
Call me the penguin man for that is who I am. Also stan LOOΠΔ!
Avatar by Trix Master
HeyitsHotDog Diamond Sparx Gems: 8526
#42625 Posted: 20:45:19 13/08/2018
Urg-urg-urg-urg-urg-urg-urg-urg-urg-urg-urghhhhh...
---
Hey is there anything you want me to bring for the rest of the week and if so it’s so cool that you can do something and just do it like that
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 20:45:40 13/08/2018 by HeyitsHotDog
King-Pen Krazy Yellow Sparx Gems: 1907
#42626 Posted: 22:42:23 13/08/2018
Okay, don't even pretend you do what you are asked, I am always asked to do work, it may be small amounts of work, but it's more than you've ever done in 4 years

So don't go acting like you have to do the work everytime, and that I'm a lazy *****, okay?
---
Rise and Shine Ursine
Bolt Hunter Gems: 6158
#42627 Posted: 07:07:08 14/08/2018
She loves me!!!!!!!!!!
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
Riolu-Blue-247 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8843
#42628 Posted: 08:29:29 14/08/2018
Health issues cause stress
Stress causes more health issues
Rinse and repeat
I don't know how much longer I can function like this
---
I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
King-Pen Krazy Yellow Sparx Gems: 1907
#42629 Posted: 12:33:50 14/08/2018
Quote: Bolt
She loves me!!!!!!!!!!



Hooray!!!
---
Rise and Shine Ursine
terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418
#42630 Posted: 12:44:43 14/08/2018
Suddenly all those old feelings of wanting to die are flooding back. Maybe I should give in to them
Skyhunter Diamond Sparx Gems: 9268
#42631 Posted: 14:24:24 14/08/2018
****
****
****
****
****
****
****
****
****
****
****
****
---
It doesn't matter if the bars are iron or gold, a cage is a cage.
Grizzle Gold Sparx Gems: 2323
#42632 Posted: 01:06:56 15/08/2018
what's wrong with me i dont get it, what are the odds this happens twice, what am i doing wrong, am i just annoying, am i just unlikable, am i just unlovable, maybe im not meant to have friends, maybe im not meant to have love. god im so alone i have one person i even talk to, why are things like this
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862
#42633 Posted: 04:39:02 15/08/2018
Wake me up when it's September
crystalhero37 Platinum Sparx Gems: 5536
#42634 Posted: 08:21:24 15/08/2018
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm wow i just want to disappear

- - -

i completely forgot that you didn't know that fact about me. so me talking about that stuff may have seemed bad and now i feel awful for it


woweeeee
Bolt Hunter Gems: 6158
#42635 Posted: 08:24:51 15/08/2018
For a long time in awhile ... I feel ... okay. Things will be okay. I'll get there. I have a big support network of family and friends. Everyone thinks I can go out and conquer the world, so why do I doubt myself?
I don't know if it's these new meds, but my heart feels light and swollen and ... I don't know ... full of love? I cherish everyone who has supported me, and everyone who loves me.
My head has been a mess these past few days getting used to the meds, and I barely remember anything. It's feels like a blur, to be honest.
But yeah, I've just been thinking about everyone who I love and care about and my heart just feels ready to explode. I just, love everyone. I want to hold everyone in my arms so tightly, and just, fall asleep with my face buried in their chest.

All you guys are amazing and I love you all.
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
ShadowMewX Diamond Sparx Gems: 8245
#42636 Posted: 21:42:27 15/08/2018
Is it bad I dread my music ensemble class more than my difficult science class at college? My parents' background is music, and my dad's got in contact with the cello teacher, and I'm super afraid that the professor's gonna have a super high expectation of me that I will be unable to fulfill because my skills are realy, really mediocre. I also worry that they're going to think my dad's a terrible musician because I'm not great and he's been the closest thing I've had to a teacher, even though my dad being bad is not the case; it's that I haven't had much consistent instruction. While on the other hand, not having science in my background in the slightest is gonna make me look super good if I do well in the class.


_____
---
Let's bust bunsen burners and bounce!
DeathOfADream Yellow Sparx Gems: 1510
#42637 Posted: 04:12:17 16/08/2018
It’s always in these moments where it becomes more and more evident what you think of me.
So thanks, I guess. For your complete lack of empathy, minimal understanding of mental health, and your extremely demanding and condescending attitudes. I legitimately thought I’d be happier here but as each month passes I realize, I’m not. I’m really not. And it’s been a year already. What a fool I was.
My own ****ing family. Goddamn. I always knew how dysfunctional this family was, but I expected it to get better as time went on. But I’m a fool for that too.

- - - - -

Your support means the world to me. I’ve been feeling so alone as of late. Thank you both for being so understanding, and not getting angry at me for being so anxious and paranoid.
It’s becoming easier to see who actually gives a **** about my wellbeing and who doesn’t. While the results are disheartening in a way, they’ve also given me much hope.
God bless you. Your kindness motivates me to do better. I don’t want your efforts to go to waste.
---
”I am not everything you thought that I would be
But every story I have told is part of me.”
Bolt Hunter Gems: 6158
#42638 Posted: 08:26:08 16/08/2018
You don't deserve this ... you're such a wonderful person. Why does this awful awful illness have to affect the best people. I wish I could do something to help. I wish I could do something to help everyone who suffers in their head.
No one deserves this. Everyone deserves to be happy.

I'm worried about you. I know you'll be alright, but I don't want to see you go through this.
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#42639 Posted: 23:04:52 16/08/2018
i!!! dont!!! want!! to!! work!! in!! customer!! service!!! anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
wanderist Platinum Sparx Gems: 7090
#42640 Posted: 05:36:37 17/08/2018
I know I'm tired and overly emotional, but jeez, you didn't have to say it like that. Now I just feel like crap and want to go back into hiding.


Oh well.
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#42641 Posted: 07:11:58 17/08/2018
dont have an anxeity attack over a game dont have an anxiety attack over a game
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
ShadowMewX Diamond Sparx Gems: 8245
#42642 Posted: 13:32:10 18/08/2018
First night of staying in my college dorm with my roommate and I get sick. JUST MY LUCK. My roommate's gonna think I'm gross and also I feel like garbage. ;~;

_____
---
Let's bust bunsen burners and bounce!
Skyhunter Diamond Sparx Gems: 9268
#42643 Posted: 02:54:54 19/08/2018
I've been having the same headache on and off for over a week now. I think I should have a doctor check that out.
---
It doesn't matter if the bars are iron or gold, a cage is a cage.
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862
#42644 Posted: 18:22:04 19/08/2018
Wake me up when it's autumn
Bolt Hunter Gems: 6158
#42645 Posted: 18:41:54 19/08/2018
I'm sick of doctors appointments, man. All my weekends lately have been doctors and therapy and I'm so exhausted. And these new meds just make me sleep all the time. I'm sleeping like twelve hours a day. Apparently it's because my mind isn't worrying/overthinking so much all the time?
Don't have time to do anything anymore. Haven't been able to draw in two weeks (outside of schoolwork I mean).

But, I'm not upset about it. Just a little disappointed and frustrated.
Frustrated that all my time is now spent at the doctors, but I hope it's helping me to get better and that it doesn't have to last much longer.
At least I've been able to catch up on my reading.
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
Grizzle Gold Sparx Gems: 2323
#42646 Posted: 02:34:47 20/08/2018
god i wish i had more friends and people to talk to im so lonely, i have little to no friends. and it sucks because I know I'm really likable and people seem to think I'm funny but it's like, I dunno I don't do anything so I'm not doing myself any favors cuz how can i meet people if i dont do anything. It just sucks and also I feel like some people are leaving me and I don't know why and my luck has just been so terrible
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#42647 Posted: 07:14:19 20/08/2018
i can be so much better than people..
Riolu-Blue-247 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8843
#42648 Posted: 09:42:34 20/08/2018
I'm stuck between being so proud of how far I've come and lamenting over how far I have to go. Everything is so much energy and its so had to keep that energy going.
Today was better. One day every day will be good.
---
I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
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