darkSpyro

My card in meditation today said "Hope. Stay positive, the world is behind you, look to the light."
I've been desperately looking for a sign, or just ... something from the universe, and I think this might be it. I know it's silly, but little things like this help give me faith in something bigger than myself. I know the universe may not even care about every "insignificant" person, but this just helps me stay at least a little helpful. Thank you. Thank you, universe. Thank you everyone.
I will get somewhere. I will do okay next year. I'll get back into the tattoo shop and I will do something great! I can!
I have to put effort into my goals instead of just wishing for them to come true. Push myself forward. Step out of my comfort zone. Have faith and confidence in myself.

...



Im not going to let this ruin anything ...

oh goodness ... im really not doing okay. i just ... i can't do this. i really can't.

Just sentimental rambling to myself. Trying to convince myself that it's alright lol.



I should keep a diary instead of using this thread lol. It's become a stupid habit of mine.
I should really get a diary hahah.

The whole house is in turmoil. Everyone is at breaking point ...

This is a weird thought that came into my head after going through a stage of feeling extremely suicidal ... but, well, life is precious and it's a miracle that we're even here, breathing and thinking. I'm not religious and I don't know how someone who is may view this, but we're not here forever. One day things will completely change and we will be thrown into something different, be it nothingness or another life ... But, time is limited. Life is precious. We aren't here forever and we shouldn't cut it short just because something may not be going our way at one period in our life. If we stop it now, that's it. It's over forever. That little miracle that bought us into this world will be over, and we will never be here to experience anything again. We need to take advantage of the fact that we're here. We're here! It may suck right now, but it may not in the future! No one knows! And we have the power to make our own paths! Of course things will happen that are out of our control, but ultimately we decide where we want to be! If you end up in a crappy situation but choose to well in your pity and not change things, that's your decision. You may decide to rise above it and try and salvage the situation. It's hard, but nothing that's worth it is ever easy. The hard work will pay off. The world is beautiful, and we need to look past all the crap that happens and just ... appreciate the fact that we are even here at all. And we shouldn't take that away from ourselves, because if we take it we're never coming back. We'll never be able to experience living, breathing, feeling, tasting, seeing, smelling, or hearing ever again if we take that off ourselves.
Life suck sometimes, but sometimes it doesn't. That's just part of being alive. And it's beautiful. What an experience! We're all still here! We've been through **** and gone through periods that we never thought we'd ever get through. But look, we're still here. And we will all continue to remain here after all the bad times in the future. We'll get through it. I know we will. It'll all be worth it, okay?

I'm tired. I might not be so active on here for awhile, I don't know. Things are just crap right now and I don't have much energy or motivation to do anything.
I just want to sleep.

Hope everyone will be alright. I wish you all the absolute best. I know it's not much, but I believe in you all. Just be patient and things will be okay in due time. Everything will be worth it. The world isn't without its problems, but with each new hardship you face you build up resilience to help you face the next problem and it won't be as hard, or you'll have an idea on how to deal with it.
You guys are strong. You're all good people that deserve to be here. You haven't done anything wrong that makes you any less deserving than anyone else in the world. If you have a mental illness that doesn't make you worthless or a burden, it's not your fault and you haven't done anything wrong, okay? And dont feel guilty. You deserve to be here and you deserve happiness. You are no less deserving than anyone else. What have you done that makes you less deserving? Seriously.
I wish you all the best. You'll all be alright. I know it.
I love you all.

She's so lovely. But it's bloody weird how similar we are? Like, we have the same feelings about literally everything. It's actually mind blowing, I swear. And we've both been suffering very similar stress conditions and fatigue ...
It so ****ing weird that I swear we're mentally connected or something. She's like, literally me but older.

But the funniest thing? I love her so much ... but I don't hold myself in the same regard. It's changing, I'm working on it ... it's just such a strange thought.

I love her. She's a beautiful person.