darkSpyro

everyones leaving and its making me feel...bad.

not gonna lie, im really ashamed of you guys, and one of you in particular. what you did was really ****ty and definitely shouldnt have been done at all. put yourself in HER shoes, would you have liked that treatment?

theres no dancing around this, you guys really ****ed up and its really uncool that you did that. still, i dont think youre beyond redeeming. i know im the last person you want to hear this from, but try and fix this mess before it gets worse

for everyone's sake

"Quick, how could we make our already stupid ****ing lessons even worse?"

"I know, let's make sure half the assignments don't actually ****ing open."

Yikes.
I feel bad for coming back and weighing everyone down with this.
I don't even know at this point if it was right for me to join back, I've been nothing but drama and a hassle.

You guys don't have to defend me, or whats going. I appreciate all of your continuous support, but after last night, its affected the group so much and you guys don't deserve that. I don't want to be bringing that to the group.
I'm sorry to all of you.

- - -

"This program is highly easy to use, just follow the instructions in the lesson."

"What if they aren't using windows?"

"Then **** them."

----
The conversation that seemingly goes into the design of everything at this school.

"Take screenshots of your quiz grades of extra credit, and send all of them to me."

"What if I just take a screenshot of the section literally designed to show all of them and my overall grades?"

"NO DON'T DO THAT."

???????

I always go into Valentine's Day with a small spark of hope that my fate might change.

Of course, it never does. That spark flickers and dies each year without fail.

im squidward

im malefor

I'm ready to get well.

- - -

......

ToyNerd is ****ing lonely tonight!

Hmph.

Okay you ****ing ****. I don't think you know this, but this is my ****ing room too. You're basically telling me get the **** out. You're ****ing 12 years old, you got grounded for acting really terrible to your parents and not listening to them, and you ****ing think you'd be cleaning the room in those couple of weeks you were grounded for? HA! That's a ****ing great joke and an empty lie. We both know that your ass will be in school during those weeks (minus the 3 day weekend you have this week) otherwise it will be at Juvy, and after school you'd exhausted af and not do ****. Kind of what you are doing right now despite being home the whole day. Also me off the computer for a couple of weeks? Another great joke(tm) because guess what, I need to be on my computer so I can continue to fix up my resume and get a job so I can actually be gone for a chunk of days and make money. Also I can't really move out with my broke ass. Because you know rent exists. Oh wait you do not care or choose not to care to know, since you watch youtube videos with a lot of misinformation about the world. Basically listening to more ****s that shouldn't really be allowed to talk. Just like you.

**** M*****ling, I hope you know that your ass will be whipped by mom if you do further ****.

(Irl stuff)

This day has been terrible

ive been informed that this guy would say yes if i asked him out Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Cool, let's make sure the stuff you need to download for the lessons doesn't ****ING W O R K. Nah, that's great, make sure 70% of things are broken and unusable programs, good way to run an online school.

God damn it feels good to feel this good. I'm atop the world.

@my ****ty job

Oh, well **** me for asking something that was said in the lesson. You don't need to be an asshole about it, the lesson said it and I asked for clarification. How am I supposed to know you don't use the lesson? It's a good thing I asked before wasting my time doing it, you don't need to be so rude about it.

wow my english teacher is so nice and absolutely not a complete ****ing idiot, 10/10

i still cannot understand why you brought up that second point

I wish I'd get some help around here from you. I come home from school every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and I'm stuck cleaning everything, like always.

"I need some help from you -- I can't do all of this on my own all the time!"

...

"Are you listening? Am I reaching you?"

Also, thanks for your little comment about how I break everything. You're really quite the ****ing charmer, aren't you? Like I don't already feel bad about myself...

And as for you, quit being bossy and telling everyone what to do. You're around my age -- you're not the teacher, you're not my mother, and you're not my goddamn father. Just shut up. Please. Do it again, and I will open a can of worms on you.

I am just so ****ing sick of you and your little band of snobs. You all used to be my friends, and now here we are, at each other's throats. I'd really like an explanation for what I did that was so ****ing bad. I still can't believe your betrayal.

And again, "don't let them get to you!"
"Just ignore them."

Heh. Easier said than done. Until you're in my shoes, don't judge me.

*RANT OVER*

"Stab the body, and it heals -- injure the heart, and the wound lasts a lifetime."

I clearly have mental issue and need to stop. Are the feelings real? Or am I just so desperate for any sort of affection that I'm grasping at phantoms?

Why do I do this?

im so far from being a hero
why are you so insistent that i am one?

Options for this class:

1: Use windows

2: Go **** yourself

why does this stupid ****ing country have such high standards for math???? i hate it.

why cant i just focus on classes im actually interested in? why are interests treated as things that i really shouldnt spend time on??

like i want to be a prosecutor. like, that doesnt require knowing goDAMN TRIGONOMETRY FOR ****S S A K E

You know what really sucks? The fact that I have a great life with awesome, loving friends, but I still feel crappy and lonely all the time. I feel like I'm just whining about first world problems and I shouldn't really be complaining because I have a relatively alright life...

I don't know what it is man, but I can never be truly happy with my current situation. The worst part about it is that I can't properly identify this feeling I have as "anxiety" or "depression" because I honestly have no idea what's wrong with me. I may never know what's wrong with me. I just wanna be happy, ffs...

^I feel pretty much the same way with my life to be honest. This school year is supposed to be exciting for me, but I'm halfway through and I just feel empty. I can't concentrate all that well, so I don't see my future going anywhere. It's worrying really, to know that I'll be a major disappointment to at least one person in my life. I have great friends and all that but everything has just gotten stale. I don't know why I even exist.

I'd eat it, but I don't like killing things.

discussing life on a purple dragon forum, don't mind me.

God damn it, neighbors. It's 9:48pm and it sounds as if you're operating a bulldozer out there. The loud echoing beep beeps, and the vigorous smashing sounds sure are pleasant! I don't know what you could possibly be doing out there in the dark, but I doubt it would require screaming at the top of your lungs. Jfc end me.

Quote: Canidae

God damn it, neighbors. It's 9:48pm and it sounds as if you're operating a bulldozer out there. The loud echoing beep beeps, and the vigorous smashing sounds sure are pleasant! I don't know what you could possibly be doing out there in the dark, but I doubt it would require screaming at the top of your lungs. Jfc end me.

Well.... welcome to my world.

I spent all day lying in bed trying not to cry, and I feel like I was doing physical activity all day. I'm such a waste of space.

it's too late at night to be this awake

It was a glimmer of hope. But eventually serves nothing. Grayness, gloom and misery goes on…

.....

---

I'm sorry.

The stress of all of it is getting too much for me to handle. I just want a break.

Tfw you need advice, but you can't ask any of the regular people for advice because reasons, so you just sit there having no idea what to do in this scenario.

Why? Why am I having this moment? Why am I being reminded right at this very moment... Of all those friends I left behind... I've had so very, many, multiple times to contact them, e-mail, messengers, Steam... I used get online on various things everyday. Not just places where I could message them but there was those friends... Those friends I met in those games, I used to get on all the time and then I just... Stop for some reason. I go without a word... Those people, they would be most likely amazing to speak to, to talk to today... Yet I.... I give no contact information and no knowledge that I'm going, I used to do that so many times in the past....

And now that I'm going back to a place, and I'm starting to keep in contact with someone... I'm afraid... What I've done in the past will happen again...

Could these feelings and reminders be telling me that, it's time to finally change? Especially since this is close to letting this person know who I really am, and it's nothing faked or made-up this time. That I'm getting to a point that I want to tell such person of even what I am.... The first time I want to tell someone outside of a group that I've been with the longest, friends that I've known and kept with longer than any in the past... Is it that time to branch out? But I'm afraid of their thoughts when I tell them... Even though they've respected and befriended me up to this point... I'm afraid.... And I'm afraid that I'll just leave them behind... Without a word yet again like I used to do in the past...

Am I being reminded, being given these feelings because of this person whom I've befriended? Or are these feelings coming up because... I left, left the group I was known and so comfortable with and afraid that I'll be forgotten... Afraid that I won't come back... I... I don't know which it is... I don't want to get into this habit again though, of leaving people... The moment I used to wear masks... Because it's made me deeply regret what I've done... It's made me lonely.

Please, I'm begging... Give me the power... The courage to see this through, continue doing what is true... Please I need this courage to tell who and what I am truly to this person, even though I've shown my true personality to them... I need to also tell them what I am. I don't want to take steps back again... Give me the courage to see this through, give me the courage to give them other ways to contact me, to actually and truly contact me, ways that I actually am around for rather than through ways I don't hardly ever use. And please give me the strength to return to them... The only people I've known the longest... I don't... I don't have much social contact, I don't have many ways or friends to speak to other than all of you. I don't know what I'd do without any of the people I know... This is all I have in ways of friendships... I know... It's... Pathetic... I wish I could get rid of my social awkwardness and slow thinking in real life and actually have other means than through long distance and the internet... But these mental and emotional issues are hard to get over even when pushing myself... All I have are you guys... So please... Don't forget about me. This is all I have, please don't forget. I just don't know what I'd do without any one of you...

i hate people who give religions a bad name.

like acceptance is preached HEAVILY throughout the bible, but these people dont seem to do that.

its like, if your going to put your goddamn religion before you family, then you really need to reorganize your ****ing priorities. :)

Ugh, I can't be getting sick right now. I've got way too much on my plate.

When will I learn to just leave things alone? It seems when I try to redeem myself, I actually just make things worse.

You're all getting tired of this, just leave already.

You're a manager, but you're not really managing much, it would seem.