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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > Personal Thoughts
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Personal Thoughts [STICKY]
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#39351 Posted: 21:08:03 20/01/2017
****ING **** **** ****

ADFJDNFDS

IM SO ****ING DONE WITH THIS YEAR

IM TIRED OF UNCERTAINTY IM TIRED OF CHANGE IM TIIIIRED OF EVERYTHING

UGH
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 23:48:04 20/01/2017 by parisruelz12
Project_Unnamed Prismatic Sparx Gems: 10573
#39352 Posted: 00:19:41 21/01/2017
I miss the days when we could just be. This uncertainty and silence brought by silence and misinterpretation must end sometime and somehow. I don’t know what happened but if there is blame to set upon me, I’d like to know the reasons so I could help the change and improvement as well as I can.

I don’t know… maybe I didn’t deserve such company at first place. I just have to take everything handed and given to me like a man and just accept the facts, you know? It is not about deserving. Everybody gets what they get, no matter of how deserving or undeserving they are…

But there isn't meaning or purpose after all, is there?
---
I might give you more opinions... for a small fee of course.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 00:23:54 21/01/2017 by Project_Unnamed
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862
#39353 Posted: 01:19:20 21/01/2017
God, I'm ready for people to shut up about Trump and deal with it. When he does something bad then I'll understand.
emeraldzoroark Platinum Sparx Gems: 5456
#39354 Posted: 01:29:46 21/01/2017
I feel as though there is nothing worthwhile in life that i'm actually good at. I basically have no talent.
---
Soon.
wanderist Platinum Sparx Gems: 7090
#39355 Posted: 01:39:11 21/01/2017
I give up. That person isn't here, that person doesn't exist. And even if they did, I might not be able to feel that way again. I felt that way for you for so long, and I've lost something important as a result. I kept feeling I'd been empty since you left, and now, after remembering, I know why. You're still here, in my heart. I tried to erase you, and I couldn't. Or maybe it's more like Levi said. You took part of my heart with you, and you don't even remember me. And that was so long ago. It's not fair. You can erase me from your heart, but I can't. Not just you. Everyone I love so much who have replaced me. Even if I think I find someone I can feel that way about again, they won't feel the same. They'll leave me, just like you did. All the people I like so much now will leave me alone one day, just like they did. The happiness I felt up until now with them is all temporary, and I knew that even at the time.

I wish I didn't remember again. I wish I could just erase it all from my heart like you have. I wish I could leave you all behind like you have me. I don't want to feel anything for anyone anymore. Screw love, romantic or otherwise. I wish I could just fully accept that. It would be so much easier.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to get these interests in other people for the wrong reasons. I'll keep looking for a way out, and falling like this when there isn't one. But I don't know if I'll ever love anyone again. Did you take that ability with you? It's been years, and I still haven't felt this way about anyone else. That's not fair.

Just...I give up on it all.


bleh.
weebbby Emerald Sparx Gems: 4220
#39356 Posted: 01:44:49 21/01/2017
I have no idea what I want to do in life.
Really, I'm not good at anything, and I have no hobbies or interests that can be translated into a career.
Any career field that I am interested in for a while ends up turning me away.
I'm not ready by any means for adulthood, as much as I want to get away from these stupids known as parents.
And now there's not much time left.. Ages back, the amount left would have seemed like a lot. Now, it doesn't seem like near enough time. I won't by any means be prepared for what lies after graduation. There's so many things I want to do in life, so many things.
But I cannot for the life of me establish what I may want to do for a career. I thought I might be interested in something such as computer programming, but taking a class for that here, it's proving to be quite boring.


Idek.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 01:52:02 21/01/2017 by weebbby
Crystal Dragon Diamond Sparx Gems: 8850
#39357 Posted: 02:31:56 21/01/2017
at least i'm making decent progress with my singing. even though i have no training whatsoever and everyone else laughs at me when i bring it up. probably sounds like a dying walrus anyway.

i'm just a joke to everyone no matter what i do
thumper Ripto Gems: 3519
#39358 Posted: 03:11:03 21/01/2017
i wanna tell you you're wrong but i think it's too late and i need to not think about that anymore.
StormDragon21 Platinum Sparx Gems: 5631
#39359 Posted: 03:43:32 21/01/2017
How do the roles get reversed? Was she less angry than I was because she supported it? Or am I just holding onto something that will never happen?

I need rest.
---
"sTORM, my parents just told me something that RUINED MY LIFE. DID YOU KNOW that Smarties have different flavors?!" ~ShadowMewX
Riolu-Blue-247 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8843
#39360 Posted: 09:37:43 21/01/2017
-Be me
-Be talking to my partner
-She tells me about a tabletop rpg where I can legitimately be a duck
-Proceed to scream happily about it

I think I get a bit too excited about ducks
---
I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
Bifrost Prismatic Sparx Gems: 10386
#39361 Posted: 11:26:23 21/01/2017
confound these animals they drive me to stay in the couch

Can't remember the last time I woke up with a ****ed back three days followed, I'm never taking both dog and cat caretaking duty ever again
---
SO I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT
(What I need is never what I want)
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 11:27:03 21/01/2017 by Bifrost
Spyro Lover122 Gold Sparx Gems: 2159
#39362 Posted: 11:29:53 21/01/2017
All I can say is how dare you. How dare you try to tell me that I'm 'pretending' to be depressed. Do you think I want to feel like ****? Do you think this is ****ing funny? I honestly cannot believe you literally said that you know how I act and feel when I'm alone. You don't. I try to keep my negativity to myself because I don't want to bring other people down or make them waste their time worrying about me, but sometimes those feelings show. That does not give you the right to call me 'boring' when I lose all of my energy and motivation. I'm still trying my hardest to get by and it's starting to completely drain me whenever I'm not feeling hyper.

I'm just a mess. My brain just can't seem to identify my emotions anymore and I'm all over the place. Now I realize I've been like this for as long as I can remember but it's becoming noticeable and I can't control it. I fear that I'm going insane and I just can't deal with the pressure anymore. Every second I fear I'm just going to have some sort of outbreak and it's getting harder to hold myself back. And you certainly aren't helping with all your stupid bs. I'm even more confused than I was this morning now. I just want you to leave me alone now. **** you.


-----------
---
Whenever you reach too high, life smacks you down!
mega spyro Emerald Sparx Gems: 3847
#39363 Posted: 16:37:34 21/01/2017
Yes, let me totally waste my day by attending this stupid ****ing thing, stop being a passive aggressive ***** because I don't want to. Like always, I have to do what you want, because you say so. **** it, how about you just do this kind of stuff more often so I won't ever have free time. **** you.
---
Dead
Bumblebunnii Yellow Sparx Gems: 1474
#39364 Posted: 19:29:57 21/01/2017
The fact that it's 2017 and some people still feel like they get to tell me that they have a problem with my relationship because my boyfriend is Hispanic and I'm white honestly baffles me.
Eevee88 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4607
#39365 Posted: 23:36:04 21/01/2017
*deep breath in, breathing out.*
You said you were staying here. What happened to that, hmmm? If you say, "I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK TO PLAY!" I will reply back harshly, "You should know me by now. I DO NOT like to ask. I am shy when asking things. You have lived with me for 3/4 years. Heck, you are my cousin! You should know I don't ASK things around here." Heck, I was SICK yesterday I almost THREW UP. You have some explaining to do when you get home, lil' missy. smilie
---
Heading out, my liege? A commission, I presume? Then I shall accompany you. Just...ah, allow me to indulge in one more chapter...
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#39366 Posted: 09:34:20 22/01/2017
perhaps hope isnt completely lost..
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 09:39:38 22/01/2017 by parisruelz12
terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418
#39367 Posted: 13:26:08 22/01/2017
I feel like you don't like me anymore


.....
Alydol Ripto Gems: 1330
#39368 Posted: 21:52:37 22/01/2017
They're all out to get me. It'll be fine, it'll be just fine. smilie wth am I talking about? Of course, they'll try to get me. But, Never gonna get me. Never get me. Never ever ever ever ever gonna get me! smilie AAAND THE WHOLE WORLD SMILES WITH YOUUUUU
TheToyNerd Gold Sparx Gems: 2137
#39369 Posted: 22:07:52 22/01/2017
Quote: Alydol
They're all out to get me. It'll be fine, it'll be just fine. smilie wth am I talking about? Of course, they'll try to get me. But, Never gonna get me. Never get me. Never ever ever ever ever gonna get me! smilie AAAND THE WHOLE WORLD SMILES WITH YOUUUUU



Dude, you ok? I'm sorry I offended you with my free thought, I guess. Just wanna let you know that I don't hate you.
Alydol Ripto Gems: 1330
#39370 Posted: 02:18:29 23/01/2017
Quote: TheToyNerd
Quote: Alydol
They're all out to get me. It'll be fine, it'll be just fine. smilie wth am I talking about? Of course, they'll try to get me. But, Never gonna get me. Never get me. Never ever ever ever ever gonna get me! smilie AAAND THE WHOLE WORLD SMILES WITH YOUUUUU



Dude, you ok? I'm sorry I offended you with my free thought, I guess. Just wanna let you know that I don't hate you.



Don't worry, I was just a bit sad for a moment. And now I'm sad for another reason, near depressed.
TheToyNerd Gold Sparx Gems: 2137
#39371 Posted: 02:22:32 23/01/2017
Quote: Alydol
Quote: TheToyNerd
Quote: Alydol
They're all out to get me. It'll be fine, it'll be just fine. smilie wth am I talking about? Of course, they'll try to get me. But, Never gonna get me. Never get me. Never ever ever ever ever gonna get me! smilie AAAND THE WHOLE WORLD SMILES WITH YOUUUUU



Dude, you ok? I'm sorry I offended you with my free thought, I guess. Just wanna let you know that I don't hate you.



Don't worry, I was just a bit sad for a moment. And now I'm sad for another reason, near depressed.



Why's that?
Alydol Ripto Gems: 1330
#39372 Posted: 04:52:41 23/01/2017
Quote: TheToyNerd
Quote: Alydol
Quote: TheToyNerd



Dude, you ok? I'm sorry I offended you with my free thought, I guess. Just wanna let you know that I don't hate you.



Don't worry, I was just a bit sad for a moment. And now I'm sad for another reason, near depressed.



Why's that?



I accidently killed my great uncle's red-tailed hawk 0-0. So he let me free fly this hawk in a camping area,my great uncle was by the car, in another area. Boom, gunshot. "Hey I just shot a red-tail!" I walk to the car which was like half mile away, I tell him I just killed the hawk, I have to get a few thousand bucks to buy another hawk. Until I find out that he lost his licence because they thought that he himself killed the hawk.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 05:10:33 23/01/2017 by Alydol
Crystal Dragon Diamond Sparx Gems: 8850
#39373 Posted: 05:08:31 23/01/2017
I actually get anxious beyond belief now looking at the chat.
I want to talk but I'm terrified of talking because I know I've ****ed up.

I'm sorry. I've ruined another thing for myself that I used to enjoy. And I've probably ruined it for others because that's just the kind of fool that I am.


i really should master the art of being a hermit
willster8 Gold Sparx Gems: 2383
#39374 Posted: 20:01:24 23/01/2017
Quote: Alydol
Quote: TheToyNerd
Quote: Alydol



Don't worry, I was just a bit sad for a moment. And now I'm sad for another reason, near depressed.



Why's that?



I accidently killed my great uncle's red-tailed hawk 0-0. So he let me free fly this hawk in a camping area,my great uncle was by the car, in another area. Boom, gunshot. "Hey I just shot a red-tail!" I walk to the car which was like half mile away, I tell him I just killed the hawk, I have to get a few thousand bucks to buy another hawk. Until I find out that he lost his licence because they thought that he himself killed the hawk.


Did you yourself shoot the hawk or did someone else? Sorry if this is a dumb question, i couldn't tell from the way you worded it.
Beemo Emerald Sparx Gems: 3070
#39375 Posted: 20:16:14 23/01/2017
When will it all end? Jesus christ, make it stop.
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#39376 Posted: 22:13:10 23/01/2017
i want to look up exactly what someone said, but theres so much bias (on both sides) in the mainstream media that im afraid im gonna get it wrong.
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
Alydol Ripto Gems: 1330
#39377 Posted: 23:29:16 23/01/2017
Quote: willster8
Quote: Alydol
Quote: TheToyNerd



Why's that?



I accidently killed my great uncle's red-tailed hawk 0-0. So he let me free fly this hawk in a camping area,my great uncle was by the car, in another area. Boom, gunshot. "Hey I just shot a red-tail!" I walk to the car which was like half mile away, I tell him I just killed the hawk, I have to get a few thousand bucks to buy another hawk. Until I find out that he lost his licence because they thought that he himself killed the hawk.


Did you yourself shoot the hawk or did someone else? Sorry if this is a dumb question, i couldn't tell from the way you worded it.


Well the hawk flew into an area where I couldn't see him, not thinking much of it. I hear a gunshot from behind the trees. And after that I hear "Hey, I just shot a red-tail!" And a loud chattering of a few people after that, I felt my heart beating like a bongo drum. However,it was like six people out on a hunting trip rather than just two or three. I should have made it clearer thought, but I thought people wouldn't think that people would think that I did.
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#39378 Posted: 23:31:47 23/01/2017
Quote: Alydol
Quote: willster8
Quote: Alydol



I accidently killed my great uncle's red-tailed hawk 0-0. So he let me free fly this hawk in a camping area,my great uncle was by the car, in another area. Boom, gunshot. "Hey I just shot a red-tail!" I walk to the car which was like half mile away, I tell him I just killed the hawk, I have to get a few thousand bucks to buy another hawk. Until I find out that he lost his licence because they thought that he himself killed the hawk.


Did you yourself shoot the hawk or did someone else? Sorry if this is a dumb question, i couldn't tell from the way you worded it.


Well the hawk flew into an area where I couldn't see him, not thinking much of it. I hear a gunshot from behind the trees. And after that I hear "Hey, I just shot a red-tail!" And a loud chattering of a few people after that, I felt my heart beating like a bongo drum. However,it was like six people out on a hunting trip rather than just two or three. I should have made it clearer thought, but I thought people wouldn't think that people would think that I did.


...where did your uncle get a red tail hawk in first place??
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
Alydol Ripto Gems: 1330
#39379 Posted: 02:07:21 24/01/2017
Quote: parisruelz12
Quote: Alydol
Quote: willster8


Did you yourself shoot the hawk or did someone else? Sorry if this is a dumb question, i couldn't tell from the way you worded it.


Well the hawk flew into an area where I couldn't see him, not thinking much of it. I hear a gunshot from behind the trees. And after that I hear "Hey, I just shot a red-tail!" And a loud chattering of a few people after that, I felt my heart beating like a bongo drum. However,it was like six people out on a hunting trip rather than just two or three. I should have made it clearer thought, but I thought people wouldn't think that people would think that I did.


...where did your uncle get a red tail hawk in first place??



He was a falconer.
Dark Lord Platinum Sparx Gems: 7365
#39380 Posted: 03:32:28 24/01/2017
Every time I try to I end up stopping because I'm afraid and don't like to interrupt others.

Another problem I'm having right now, despite my revelation I still have a little emptiness inside. Not that I was expecting this revelation to fix everything and make me the happiest person in the world. But now I feel like I'm the person with the least chance of ending up in a relationship.

It's not super important as right now I want to focus on getting used to who I am because even after so long of doing this and being so happy I know I should still take the time to have this revelation settle in, it hasn't been long since I started accepting what and who I am... I just feel somewhat more like my life is pathetic though from the fact that I have near zero chance now.
---
Like fallen snow, I lay on the ground and wait for my turn to fade away, no matter how unique I seem. It's my gift to you... A true sacrifice...
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 03:33:48 24/01/2017 by Dark Lord
Riolu-Blue-247 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8843
#39381 Posted: 04:00:44 24/01/2017
If i could I would skin myself right now


everything is fine
---
I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
Alydol Ripto Gems: 1330
#39382 Posted: 04:21:30 24/01/2017
Quote: Riolu-Blue-247
If i could I would skin myself right now


everything is fine



Mental illness?
willster8 Gold Sparx Gems: 2383
#39383 Posted: 04:59:16 24/01/2017
I feel super ****ing depressed right now. If I could just drop dead where I am that'd be great.


- - -
84skylanderdude Platinum Sparx Gems: 5540
#39384 Posted: 05:22:24 24/01/2017
WHY CAN'T I JUST BE GOOD AT ART **** WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING

_____
---
“No one knows what the outcome will be. So, as much as you can, choose whatever you'll regret the least.” - Levi Ackerman
mega spyro Emerald Sparx Gems: 3847
#39385 Posted: 06:18:48 24/01/2017
me: "everything is going terribly"

*remembers school starts again tomorrow*

*quietly dies inside*
---
Dead
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 06:19:28 24/01/2017 by mega spyro
somePerson Diamond Sparx Gems: 8864
#39386 Posted: 07:08:43 24/01/2017
I need to stop procrastinating
today was the first time in my life where I felt down and just couldn't get back up on my feet. I usually always get back up but today I just stayed on the ground. I feel like I could get back up but I just felt unmotivated to.
---
Star Wars didn't happen, but it's a rad movie.
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 07:18:02 24/01/2017 by somePerson
Mrmorrises Platinum Sparx Gems: 7038
#39387 Posted: 07:22:10 24/01/2017
That is a change which I will welcome.
Spyro Lover122 Gold Sparx Gems: 2159
#39388 Posted: 16:55:43 24/01/2017
I don't think you understood exactly what I meant today but that's because I'm so bad at explaining it. You told me to work on finding the words for it but I really don't have any. I don't even have a reason, it just happens to me. There is no deeper meaning, but the feelings sure are deeper than I make them out to be. Why is it so hard to find what it is that I'm feeling? One second I feel like I'm happy but the next I realize I feel like complete **** almost at the the same time. I could also feel both energetic and worn down at the same time. I can feel angry and irritable at times and it makes me a complete **** that just ruins everyone's happiness. That's really the only way I can put in into words because I don't know why I felt like everyone was already sick of me before I started being so horrible to everyone. I don't know what else to say about it and that's why this is so hard to fix.

HELLO BRAIN CAN WE PLEASE DEFINE SOMETHING FOR ONCE THANK YOU


-----------
---
Whenever you reach too high, life smacks you down!
mega spyro Emerald Sparx Gems: 3847
#39389 Posted: 18:37:46 24/01/2017
OH WELL YES TEACHER, I CAN TOTALLY READ THE GODDAMN ODYSSEY AND ROMEO AND JULIET WITHIN 4 DAYS, AND WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT THEM IN THAT TIME.

I haven't even been back more than 45 minutes this semester, and I'm already ****ed.
---
Dead
Beemo Emerald Sparx Gems: 3070
#39390 Posted: 19:40:37 24/01/2017
These *****es got a lot of nerve.


(again, rl problems)
mega spyro Emerald Sparx Gems: 3847
#39391 Posted: 21:21:21 24/01/2017
Why is this teacher's mic so damn loud? It hurts my ears and gives me a headache every time I hear it. The mic seems to be on max sensitivity, the slightest change in how loud she's speaking will burst my ear drums every time, even when she's breathing I can hear it and it's ****ing loud. Yes, I keep complaining because this is a ****ing problem.
---
Dead
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862
#39392 Posted: 22:52:39 24/01/2017
I want a gf so badly sometimes.


School is cool.
TheToyNerd Gold Sparx Gems: 2137
#39393 Posted: 23:15:25 24/01/2017
Quote: willspyro
I want a gf so badly sometimes.


School is cool.



Don't we all!
mega spyro Emerald Sparx Gems: 3847
#39394 Posted: 23:20:25 24/01/2017
Wow, thanks school, you can just say "you shouldn't have self confidence problems or anxiety" and that magically solves years of issues. Boy, if only someone had told me "**** you, you're absolutely fine" earlier I could have been cured. Oh wait, that doesn't work.


This school really ****ing sucks, I can't wait until I don't have to deal with this ****.
---
Dead
TheToyNerd Gold Sparx Gems: 2137
#39395 Posted: 02:22:04 25/01/2017
Ech!!

Whoopsy daisy, there I go again thinking about girls and dating! Better stop doing that before I annoy my friends with my whining... please let this be a phase
terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418
#39396 Posted: 02:54:27 25/01/2017
well I've just had the lousiest night and you're more concerned with your pokebank update


.....
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862
#39397 Posted: 05:41:13 25/01/2017
Quote: TheToyNerd
Ech!!

Whoopsy daisy, there I go again thinking about girls and dating! Better stop doing that before I annoy my friends with my whining... please let this be a phase


Don't we all!
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#39398 Posted: 05:46:16 25/01/2017
at my funeral i want someone to cut the power, ACCEPT to some speakers.

and then "Still Alive" starts playing.
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
HIR Diamond Sparx Gems: 9034
#39399 Posted: 17:18:50 25/01/2017
How big of an idiot do you have to be to not realize you chose a PC monitor with no built-in speakers until you finished setting the monitor up? A big one. Which is what I am. And now I have to buy speakers... <.>
---
Congrats! You wasted five seconds reading this.
weebbby Emerald Sparx Gems: 4220
#39400 Posted: 22:12:06 25/01/2017
What the hell am I even doing anymore. Why the hell did I just do that. What is wrong with me. This isn't who I am, why have I let everyone else shape me so much?
..........................
All I've ever done has been done with either the intent of being nice to others or fitting in. But both has never been possible, not to mention the latter has always been a 100% unobtainable concept. Whenever I try to fit in, I end up being quite rude, and everybody gets upset with what I did. If I try to be nice, everyone piles on me for never doing anything bad. Yet, through all these attempts to fit in, I lost sight of that original goal of being nice to others. I'm plain and simple just an asshole now.
---
I guess in a way it's not entirely my own fault... Who am I kidding, I have to take responsibility for all the **** I've done, I can't blame it on someone else. But what I mean is the fact that I became this way is partially due to the fact that my best friend when I was little was my childhood bully. Being my best friend, he was someone I always strived to be like. His being a bully, that caused me to end up becoming an asshole.
---
To this day I still always feel neglected, even within the group of people I would now consider my 'friends.' (For clarification, rl friends. I don't feel neglected by you guys <3) Though I guess with that in mind I really shouldn't, they barely talk to me anymore... It's probably my fault anyway though.. What do I mean probably, I know it's my fault.. I don't know what I've done wrong but whatever..., I guess I can live with people hating me, not like I haven't done that my whole life.
---
I mean, right now, these recent days, I'm happier than I've ever been.
But that doesn't change that I'm a ****ing asshole and I hate myself for it so much.
I'm so ashamed of what I've done over the years, even though compared to other people I haven't done that much that's really all that bad. Still, every time I do something even slightly rude, I hate myself for ever even thinking such a thought, whether it was in a joking manner or as a serious thing.

- - -
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 23:01:16 25/01/2017 by weebbby
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