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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > Personal Thoughts
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Personal Thoughts [STICKY]
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6242
#34251 Posted: 05:36:11 09/12/2015
It seems like with this, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. I almost feel like a guinea pig, being tested on to see the mental and emotional effect that this has on a person. It's either that or some cruel joke. You put me here, but why? Am I really just a guinea pig? What are You planning then? I mutter the same three words to myself almost every day. What have You done to show that you actually care? I only seem to be getting worse.

---

Sorry for being such a pain about this. I really should just shut up.


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mega spyro Emerald Sparx Gems: 3993
#34252 Posted: 20:15:13 09/12/2015
Teacher, isn't it creative writing class? Yeah, it is. So maybe we should actually be able to write what we want to in the class, and not have hundreds of restrictions. I mean, my only ideas have stuff to do with politics, but no, we aren't allowed to write about that, because god forbid we offend someone.



Hahaha, and here I thought she might be a decent teacher.
---
Dead
Jaggedstar Diamond Sparx Gems: 8567
#34253 Posted: 21:03:27 09/12/2015
i dont give a **** about you anyways. whoever said i gave a **** bout you?

seriously though i dont like you. get in a bin.
---
Quote: Paytawn
oh my god
Starfire Dragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 5344
#34254 Posted: 22:03:15 09/12/2015
Note to self:
STOP MAKING CRAPPY ART DUMBASS!
---
My Dragon Art & Stuff
PSN: Starfire--Dragon
derpyhooves Platinum Sparx Gems: 5849
#34255 Posted: 00:25:00 10/12/2015
..... (TW)

When I am in the ER of some freak anxiety attack or some depression spike, I hope you then start to regret how you treat me. Watch, that moment my heartbeats become too overwhelming for my body... You will say I'm fine. Only when I fall will you believe my constant words. Maybe I am sick all of the time because of how you decide to be nice only when YOUR OWN LIFE is good. It's not only about you... Your blindness and ignorance causes me to get headaches and panic, or even make me puke at times. And on top of that... You turn my immediate family against me.

At this point, you say you will never tryst me and pick at my flaws, so I guess that's all I am: ****ing worthless. That kindness you show at your convenience makes me feel worse, because it goes away at any given time.

Mental disorders? Maybe you're the blame if I do in fact actually have them, but we'll never know if I do, you're too stuck-up to bring me to a REAL psychiatrist.

I'm done ranting, I'm done crying myself to bed some nights thinking of how much space I waste to you. Maybe my prediction will be true, but we won't know until that day. And honestly, with the hell I deal with and you making me feel like I shouldn't exist, I await that rude awakening. I await it with every single ounce of patience I have left.

Come the hell at me.
Windumup Emerald Sparx Gems: 3217
#34256 Posted: 00:48:23 10/12/2015
GHG;KGGJMVBORJ[TIGIJGDLHLRGJOEHGELHGEUIRGHOIEHREIHOGHOIGHOEHGOIHGOIGHWEGOHGWUHRSEFBE;SFRFRIOREOGHFIFHOERGHORHOEIHGROIEGHOEGEJFOIE I AM SICK OF MY DRUNK ABUSIVE FATHER, THE FEW TIMES WE DO CALL THE COPS THEY DO NOTHING AND IF WE TRY CALLING THE COPS HE SHUTS OFF ALL THE ELECTRICITY AND INTERNET HE TALKS ABOUT THROWING ME INTO THE HIGHWAY AND I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE EVEN ALMOST TRIED TO TAKE A SLEDGEHAMMER TO MY COMPUTER!!!!!!!!

---------------
---
Ugh I wish my body wasn't a mess
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 00:49:33 10/12/2015 by Windumup
CAV Platinum Sparx Gems: 6430
#34257 Posted: 03:09:02 10/12/2015
^Contact child services. If you can, get an audio or video recording of stuff like this so you have evidence for later if he tries to deny anything.
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#34258 Posted: 05:43:07 10/12/2015
i dont want to sound salty but i really dont understand how people find markiplier attractive.



/Opinion.
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6242
#34259 Posted: 16:25:44 10/12/2015
^Tbh I don't think he's awful looking, but I think he's more cute than attractive. And I mean like how a puppy is cute, not like how a guy can be cute if that makes sense lol Not that's he's ugly or anything, but yeah >.<
Plus he seems like a really great guy imo, so that's probably part of the reason for this attractiveness of his... That, and being famous probably doesn't hurt lol


---

Why do you always assume that I'm to blame for something like this happening. Quit trying to act like a doctor.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 16:26:53 10/12/2015 by AvatariDragon
TTD Hunter Gems: 6771
#34260 Posted: 16:53:34 10/12/2015
Greatest month ever.

_____
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6242
#34261 Posted: 17:41:00 10/12/2015
I know you're just concerned but you always sound angry...

---

I'm getting tired of these headaches. I'm getting tired of these little breakdowns. I'm getting tired of dealing with ****ty people, including myself. I'm getting tired of being tired and angry and upset and moody. People keep saying how this **** will get better but it's only getting worse. Either fix me now, or kill me.


---

[User Posted Image]


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parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#34262 Posted: 18:13:59 10/12/2015
Quote: Avatari
^Tbh I don't think he's awful looking, but I think he's more cute than attractive. And I mean like how a puppy is cute, not like how a guy can be cute if that makes sense lol Not that's he's ugly or anything, but yeah >.<
Plus he seems like a really great guy imo, so that's probably part of the reason for this attractiveness of his... That, and being famous probably doesn't hurt lol


I dunno, I guess I just disagree. But different strokes for different folks.
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
Batzooka119 Ripto Gems: 720
#34263 Posted: 22:09:10 10/12/2015
I thought I cared about you again, but I don't. I hate our conversations and you always make me feel uncomfortable.
skylandersspyro Emerald Sparx Gems: 3901
#34264 Posted: 22:20:58 10/12/2015
This **** looks good
---
Uh Uh Uh! You didn't say the magic word!
Kitty Platinum Sparx Gems: 5106
#34265 Posted: 22:56:07 10/12/2015
Oh god, I started crying at work and all the kids asked me what's wrong, so embarrassing. So stressed.

_________
xXBeavcoonXx Gold Sparx Gems: 2648
#34266 Posted: 23:10:41 10/12/2015
stooooooop trying to befriend me and talk to me again i dont like you agh stop already. i dont want to be friends with you, i dont want to talk to you anymore, i dont want to look at you anymore, get out of my life, go away, please. youre only useful for one thing in my life right now and thats reminding me to donate 63 cents a day to the marine life conservation fund with your ridiculously high amounts of hair dye


everything is just wow at this point the best relationship i have is with my legally blind dog
---
now its time to get funky
Riolu-Blue-247 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8843
#34267 Posted: 23:39:25 10/12/2015
I am way too excited for this! smilie

---

Have you always been this way and was I just too blind to see it or have you changed? I dont like this new way I see you

---

I gotta stop being so paranoid, if people didnt like me they would just come straight out and tell me.
---
I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
ReshiramForever Platinum Sparx Gems: 5331
#34268 Posted: 23:47:03 10/12/2015
is this really a thing that keeps happening
---
self professed austGAYlian
Yoshi Emerald Sparx Gems: 3062
#34269 Posted: 01:41:10 11/12/2015
At times like this I wish I didn't have friends. All I seem to do is hurt people. I don't try too I just somehow do. I guess it can't be helped. Maybe I can use this time to actually write a submission for my school's creative writing magazine.


(filler)
---
Wow
Such signature
StriderSwag Gold Sparx Gems: 2769
#34270 Posted: 03:04:14 11/12/2015
OMG YOU TOTALLY DESERVED THAT

- - -
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6242
#34271 Posted: 04:39:53 11/12/2015
I wish I could be more like that...

---

Whenever I’m with other people, I’m always the stupid one, or the awkward one, or the ugly one. Most of the time I’m all three at once. The only thing I seem to be the best at is being the worst.

---

I wish I never made that promise.


-----
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 06:28:22 11/12/2015 by AvatariDragon
thumper Ripto Gems: 3519
#34272 Posted: 16:42:02 11/12/2015
I didn't have that money budgeted but I could have used that bonus we were told we were gonna get today. I'm a bit frustrated, a bit angry but as always, I'll be patient for now.
Bifrost Prismatic Sparx Gems: 10982
#34273 Posted: 16:49:07 11/12/2015
Warm fuzzies from looking at my art over the last year. Toning down the overly painting-like pictures helped me improve soooo much.
---
SO I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT
(What I need is never what I want)
StriderSwag Gold Sparx Gems: 2769
#34274 Posted: 17:06:57 11/12/2015
You know, I'm really getting sick of how work is constantly taking over your life, and now you want it it to takeover mine!? I haven't seen them in weeks, and I won't be seeing them for three months after today, so why do you get mad at me when I explain that I'd rather see them and give them their Christmas gifts before they leave, rather than make a measly 20 bucks by answering phones at the EXACT same time I've planned to see them for two weeks. I'm getting really sick of how every goddamn moment you're working, whether it's at home or at work or even in the middle of the ****ing night. You're the ONLY family member that actually gives a **** about me, and you used to always want to pay attention to me. I understand your work is important, but the least you can do is not take out your anger on me...


- - -

EDIT:
boy, getting kicked out of the house sure does feel great

/sarcasm
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 18:15:03 11/12/2015 by StriderSwag
darkwolf Diamond Sparx Gems: 7850
#34275 Posted: 20:22:48 11/12/2015
Taking the ACT exam tomorrow. Pretty nervous about it...

akeidjwnoans
DragonCamo Platinum Sparx Gems: 6710
#34276 Posted: 21:45:54 11/12/2015
Yes, thank you snow for ****ing burying my car.
---
Gay 4 GARcher
Iceclaw Hunter Gems: 10671
#34277 Posted: 00:01:32 12/12/2015
I almost got hit by the train twice today and I half wish I didn't move out of the way
---
Twinkies and 2hus
Lunarz Emerald Sparx Gems: 3498
#34278 Posted: 03:46:03 12/12/2015
I'm so depressed, and sick and in pain right now, I need you so bad, please come back, not talking to you recently has felt like it's been months, I need you.
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
Darby Platinum Sparx Gems: 5750
#34279 Posted: 04:03:43 12/12/2015 | Topic Creator
I knew you two would hook up again and if it was a week ago I would've been a mess over it but now all I can think is whatever. I learned my lesson with you 5 years ago lol
HeyitsHotDog Diamond Sparx Gems: 8924
#34280 Posted: 04:21:26 12/12/2015
I guess the reason I say I look like Pit from the Kid Icarus series so much is because it makes me feel better about myself. Maybe I do look like him, maybe I don't. I have no idea.
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Hey is there anything you want me to bring for the rest of the week and if so it’s so cool that you can do something and just do it like that
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6242
#34281 Posted: 05:51:50 12/12/2015
It was pretty messed up for you to say that, but you were right.. at least about me.

---

I dunno. When you've been blessed with something like that, of course it's easy for you to say such things. It's not as easy as "thinking positive," especially when I've basically been like this my whole life, I'm just now starting to be more open about it. I feel like I should be angry at you, but it's not exactly your fault and at least you tried to help. I'm just so frustrated and angry at myself, and what makes it worse is I can't do much about it. I can try, but I don't expect anything to really happen simply because it's me. I may have gone a little overboard on the whole doom and gloom thing though. Then again, I wasn't lying, so I don't really care.

Time for me to toss and turn all night while I think of all of the reasons why I hate myself~


-----
VespiDragon8 Platinum Sparx Gems: 7111
#34282 Posted: 06:39:11 12/12/2015
Sometimes I really wonder if my parents still love me. Lately when I spied the calls from them with others, they hesitate much when they ask about me, unlike my older sister.
I have to resort to this method because they lie in my face, telling me they love me, but in reality it's the opposite, its unique truths are when I'm not there, so I have to resort to spying & discover their true thoughts & more.
How I wish I had been only son, or had an older brother to help me.
Angel220200 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4412
#34283 Posted: 12:44:14 12/12/2015
Quote: Drawdler
OH MY GOD ANGEL220200 I'M SO SORRY I KEPT FORGETTING TO REPLY TO YOU


Haha, don't worry about it. You don't even have to reply if you don't want to, that's cool with me. c:
---
It's been over an hour since I got home and I still feel like an icicle ughhh
---
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 12:46:57 12/12/2015 by Angel220200
darkwolf Diamond Sparx Gems: 7850
#34284 Posted: 18:58:25 12/12/2015
that test was really ****ing long
IsisStormDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 7127
#34285 Posted: 20:12:17 12/12/2015
I'll never be enough...

- - -

What the **** was that? What the hell gives you the right to be so rude to her? And over that, no less? God, every time I think you can't dig yourself deeper...

Just wish you'd get out of my life and stay out of it, instead of being a whiny piece of **** who thinks the world revolves around him and thinks she and I are the problem because we don't conform to his ideas of perfection and all that is good.

Just. Go away.
---
Stranger in the Desert
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 20:12:43 12/12/2015 by IsisStormDragon
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6242
#34286 Posted: 22:30:33 12/12/2015
I should have just stayed at school. We aren't allowed to stay on campus over break but I should have found a way...


-----
Eevee88 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4965
#34287 Posted: 00:00:43 13/12/2015
I just had a little wine, I Admit, it was pretty good..
---
Heading out, my liege? A commission, I presume? Then I shall accompany you. Just...ah, allow me to indulge in one more chapter...
Trix Master 100 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8324
#34288 Posted: 00:54:17 13/12/2015
The urge to strangle you is climbing rapidly. I would choose your actions and words carefully. They may be the things that will get your ass severely kicked by me.
---
If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest
icon from Empoh
Project_Unnamed Prismatic Sparx Gems: 11181
#34289 Posted: 01:40:48 13/12/2015
Note to self for the future reference: special kinds of contributions outside of your own control make you to drink and be slightly angry or upset. This is actually quite refreshing; to feel honest emotion for once in a while. Maybe this cynical and very nihilistic mindset is not my natural default after all. So there you are, that was my personal thought of the day. Carry on being personal, people…
---
I might give you more opinions... for a small fee of course.
StriderSwag Gold Sparx Gems: 2769
#34290 Posted: 02:37:57 13/12/2015
I'm really getting sick of you never believing a word I say. Anything I do or say you have to check. If I even call a restaurant, find out the wait times, and tell you, you have to go and check because you never believe me, even over the most minuscule things. You treat me like I'm a compulsive liar, but I lie about the same amount as anyone else. For the most part I'm completely truthful to you, because I know what happens to me when I lie to you and I get caught. I'm sick of everything I say not being believable to you, and it REALLY hurts that you have to check LITERALLY EVERYTHING I SAY.

I can't wait until I'm out of this ****ing city. All it's ever caused me is pain, and I can't wait to be rid of it, the people who hurt me, and the family that never cares.


- - -
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6242
#34291 Posted: 03:23:11 13/12/2015
It's that time of the year again when I have to hold back my tears all day until I can finally be alone in my room without worrying about people barging in for no reason.

Yeah.

The most wonderful time of the year.


-----
Eevee88 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4965
#34292 Posted: 05:27:53 13/12/2015
My uncle sent my cousin, lets call her chicken (coughlivycough) ANYHOW he made her go to a friends of Uncles. So then, she was playing rough with a dog, (I dunno why) And she got bit. She had stitches, and everything... And this happened by the same time of the month WITH THE SAME PERSON! Uncle, you made Chicken hurt TWO times in one year. I say custody should just go all to Aunt, not to both.



~~~~~
---
Heading out, my liege? A commission, I presume? Then I shall accompany you. Just...ah, allow me to indulge in one more chapter...
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7577
#34293 Posted: 05:40:37 13/12/2015
Oh my god i feel so sick
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
Sky Airglow Yellow Sparx Gems: 1136
#34294 Posted: 07:55:59 13/12/2015
sjanzhaj im melting

it was pretty insane, what just happened, hearing you was insane too
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6242
#34295 Posted: 15:57:53 13/12/2015
I don't want to go out there.

---

Now I'm losing sleep over this. I'm really getting tired of this bull****. Seriously. Like why was I even born. My only purpose seems to be to suffer in some way. You should have gotten rid of me while you had the chance. I suppose You still can, but you won't...

You're about the only thing that's keeping me alive and relatively sane.
---

This place is a ****hole, I can't wait to leave.


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Edited 1 time - Last edited at 16:05:34 13/12/2015 by AvatariDragon
Spyrobaby Emerald Sparx Gems: 4477
#34296 Posted: 17:43:59 13/12/2015
I don't think you realize that I actually CAN'T HELP IT. It may be an 'inconvenience' to you but to me it's something that stresses me out and just letting me have that makes such a huge difference to me. You make fun of me and joke about me being 'mentally ill' but anytime I ask for something that could quite possibly help that you tell me to just 'get over it'. Top ******* notch advice there. Why did I not think of that.


- - -
Ice Dragoness Diamond Sparx Gems: 7911
#34297 Posted: 19:29:53 13/12/2015
Don't call me saying you want me back then when I tell you I have a date arranged with someone else you call me a "common slag" smilie
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