darkSpyro

This is painful. I'm so tired of this. What's wrong with me...?

To be honest, I really wish that worked out. I talked to them today and I can certainly tell they were sad or something... I know I'm a ***** for saying this and everything is "great" now but it makes me wanna go back , I do often wonder where I'd be now if my life took that turn probably somewhere better than where I am today ... We wouldn't be struggling, I'd be comfortable and happy... Oh how I wish that happened </3
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I need a break... I can't do anything at all or even distract myself without thinking about those two things. There's more than that but two things , those two have been bothering the **** out of me. Can I just have one day without anything going on like that? Now I'm worrying because I don't wanna get nervous and all because that happens , no... and it's funny because that song came on right when I stopped doing everything I was.

i dont even know where to begin being single again after this long

HateHateHateHateHateHateHateHateHateHateHateHateHateHate...

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Go ahead, go there and stay there. I'm not. There's ABSOLUTELY NO TIME for this right now! I won't even be able to sleep let alone finish homework. Him and I have no problem getting "used" to each other at all, he's a grown man. I'm only fifteen and I'm pretty sure I can get used to it too. Nobody even has to get used to me , you can barely tell I'm there anyway. Stop with this bull**** , They literally left today. You have 40 something more days to do that. Calm down. Also, why would you include me in this when I don't wanna be a part of it? You didn't include me in the huge desicion you decided to make two nights ago that I DON'T support AT ALL! :/ My opinion does not matter anymore, I'm not even joking. Be thankful I actually DO **** instead of sitting around like a lazy ass like you each and every day... I even tried to be positive and everything today instead of possibly being in a bad mood because you know I was in one yesterday because of what you said to me that night before. You know what, I'm not even gonna try anymore. If my work isn't appreciated by anyone here I might as well not do it.

Man, how many times has logic ruined my life now?

Wow, finally made it to 300..

No... No... No... Please don't tell me I went too far. I do understand things get old after a while but you were asking for the joke yesterday, I sent another one today and i could tell you were pissed. Please answer me, I'm really sorry, I won't do it again! I didn't know you didn't like it anymore and I feel like a stupid *****.

Holy ****ing god.
I forgot what a crush felt like.
That was quite the adrenaline.
Too bad logic stops me from using it.
I hate being smart.
I hate my life.

Really getting sick of your stupidly condescending bull****. How about you just **** off and let me live my life already??

I miss you. You're a complete ***** but I miss you. I don't know why, I thought I was over it, but I miss the you I used to know. I miss the you I loved and thought loved me. I miss the you I thought wanted to be with me. I miss the you I knew before your two favorite hobbies became making music and spreading your legs :/

Thank God you forgive me, I'm an idiot. Enough is enough and I screwed up. We did have quite a funny and entertaining conversation after a couple of hours but you really scared me. When you didn't answer I assumed you were mad at me , idk maybe you were, but it doesn't matter anymore. another reason why I can tell you're one of my best friends is because you don't let stupid **** that I joke about get to ya. I know to stop now and I'm sorry, I'm just really really glad everything is worked out between us

Such wonderful timing, assigning us to write a script about this, of all things...

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Must be nice..

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It's funny how you act like you know everything and you're always right yet you're almost always proven wrong whenever you argue with someone.

Well, I'm happy for you. I'm not happy, or sad for myself, I expected it, and I don't need anyone anyways.

What the ****
Why are you doing this brain
I thought we were done with this.

I'm sO HAPPY RIGHT NOW because I was HONEST AND I SPOKE THE TRUTH NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE AND ANNOYING IT WAS and you're pissed at me (lmao idc) but now EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU know that I'm not kidding... It wasn't just a "oh she's probably just tired" thing, I WAS TIRED OF THIS ****and NOW YOU KNOW !!! Oh my God , it feels so good... So so good to finally get the fact that I'M TIRED OF THIS BULL**** and I WON'T BE FORCED TO DO IT AGAIN!!! Yes , you all know I'm NOT JOKING, you all are surprised I'd be like that... But I kept it up for the whole night. Hahahahaha I feel great for once, I just feel so relieved. I should speak my mind more often

You keep making this so much worse. I cannot describe how ticked off I am. I can never say to anyone what's truly going on in this situation because you would look like the bad guy, which is making it even more frustrating.

I really can't stand you.

Wait. What was my issue with this? Why was I an idiot? What do I do now?

Every action I do, even if it's forgetting about skype for a second because I feel darn sick, even if it is being DA for 25 seconds. Every action I perform is wrong. Nobody shows simpathy towards me on what is going with me. Everything I do is labeled wrong. If everyone has to nag onto me that what I do is wrong then what is my use in this world? Teachers want me to do way too much, my boyfriend already questions me when I sit on DA for a few seconds. I can't see love or care coming from anyone. If that is so, everyone should leave me alone in my own house. I'm no longer coming outside untill somebody will pull me out. I'm gonna stab my eyes out
And who cares? My parents will send my to a center for insane children and school is gonna ban me oh yes joy. I'm ****ing out because if any of that **** happends nobody will care. Excactly! NOBODY! Nobody comes at me "blackWing you'll be fine I'm sorry for what i just said." or "Calm down it's going to be alright get here and have a hug"
NO!
Always the assult, always the blame. I can't go a day without crying and shouting anymore! I can't go a day without going to my window and attempting to smash it in only to jump through it one day and fall straight onto a car!

I'm done! Just done! You can get the **** over here and hug me for 3 hours if you OR ANYONE ELSE wants me to ****ing calm down. And, if not, I'll just die within the next 24 hours!

OH, and did I meantion threatening?

Lmao I'm glad you like me and everything but you're starting to act like my own mom omg xD

Why? I don't know why. There's no reason why this **** should be going on again but it is. Okay, okay, calm down.... This time I'm gonna not even care. I'm gonna act like nothing's happening and maybe that'll make everything go faster. I'm just pissed because I was hopeful for once and thing went wrong anyway. I don't even know anymore. Anyways, I'm trying something new and instead of letting things get to me I'm gonna act as I did yesterday when I felt as if I was gonna jump with happiness... Let's see if I can force myself to be that way again.

"Don't fall in love with him again, it'll only end in upset and tears because it can never happen because he likes someone else who is not you and will never be you.
Oh past me, what could go wrong.
oh yeah.
the truth.
hahahahahahahahahahah ah a hah a ha a a hah a a a...a ah.... ;_;