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Personal Thoughts [STICKY]
Wolfgang Gold Sparx Gems: 2051
#31101 Posted: 09:40:09 11/07/2015
I'm not quite sure if this is the place to do this, but... well... here I go.

Over the past few months, I've... well... been in sort of a dark place... and, well... I don't want to worry anyone, but there's been quite a bit going on in my mind that I don't really show on the forums. Lately, people that I'd thought I'd known well have sort of, well... drifted apart, and, well... I feel I've been sort of clinging to this community as a bit of a safety net, sort of a distraction from my other problems in real life, which include some losses that have been (to say the least) more damaging... more permanent. While I've made some great friends and memories here, well... there've also been a few incidents with others that've made me feel like an outcast, unwanted... worthless, that others were 'good enough' to be included and I wasn't. I've also realized that even here, people you think are close to you will hesitate to stand up for you, for their own promise, even when they know how hurt you really are, and in the end... it makes you feel alone... a feeling I'm unfortunately all too familiar with.
---
♫Cheap smoke, risin' like a spirit in the- soft glow of a New York street.
No glamour or garb can hide the animal heart inside of me.♫
TacoMakerSkys Platinum Sparx Gems: 5676
#31102 Posted: 09:52:13 11/07/2015
What the **** does me having an Android have to do with not being able to invite me places lmao. So what I'm not in your ****ing group chat. It takes the same amount of time to text me than it does to text in a group chat.
---
words. letters. filler.
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6231
#31103 Posted: 14:18:26 11/07/2015
I'm tired of feeling so empty about things all the time. I want to feel again...

---

I don't know if I want to go back. It made me uncomfortable, but it did help a bit. I guess I'll see how I'm feeling when I get back to school.


-----
StriderSwag Gold Sparx Gems: 2769
#31104 Posted: 17:29:48 11/07/2015
I'm finally happy again! So much has gone right in the past two days, I'm just so excited!!! Life is really great right now!


:D
happyhappyhappyhappy
AmethystRose Yellow Sparx Gems: 1132
#31105 Posted: 18:24:29 11/07/2015
Damn, only 3 more I need until I complete my dex. Yay imma nerd.
---
ϟ Break my heart, break me til I fall apart. ϟ
Lunarz Emerald Sparx Gems: 3498
#31106 Posted: 19:43:48 11/07/2015
Psst, Me and Arc are just dicking about, I'm not actually a sex crazed lunatic as you think lmfao, I make lots of sex jokes but they aren't actually real lmao. So far you're the only one to complain.


People shouldn't judge what they don't know >.>
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
TheFlyingSeal Diamond Sparx Gems: 8761
#31107 Posted: 19:48:22 11/07/2015
Quote: Lunarz
Psst, Me and Arc are just dicking about, I'm not actually a sex crazed lunatic as you think lmfao, I make lots of sex jokes but they aren't actually real lmao. So far you're the only one to complain.


People shouldn't judge what they don't know >.>



I find it funny that you assumed Sess's post was about you.

Hidden guilt, I see?
---
#CynderIsAFireDragon
Lunarz Emerald Sparx Gems: 3498
#31108 Posted: 19:50:24 11/07/2015
Quote: TheFlyingSeal
Quote: Lunarz
Psst, Me and Arc are just dicking about, I'm not actually a sex crazed lunatic as you think lmfao, I make lots of sex jokes but they aren't actually real lmao. So far you're the only one to complain.


People shouldn't judge what they don't know >.>



I find it funny that you assumed Sess's post was about you.

Hidden guilt, I see?


I find it amusing you assume my post was about sess's post

I see aswell, because I have eyes
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
Lunarz Emerald Sparx Gems: 3498
#31109 Posted: 19:53:02 11/07/2015
Quote: Cynderfan507
YAY YOURE NOT MAD AT ME OR ABOUT THE FREE DRAGONITE



wow rood, where's my free Dragonite?
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
Wolfgang Gold Sparx Gems: 2051
#31110 Posted: 19:57:55 11/07/2015
Quote: Lunarz
Quote: Cynderfan507
YAY YOURE NOT MAD AT ME OR ABOUT THE FREE DRAGONITE



wow rood, where's my free Dragonite?


The first video result for googling "It's Dragonite" comes to mind. Warning, though, lots of hilarious profanity.
---
♫Cheap smoke, risin' like a spirit in the- soft glow of a New York street.
No glamour or garb can hide the animal heart inside of me.♫
DarkCynder10 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3346
#31111 Posted: 20:12:45 11/07/2015
I'm already having dreams about you... I really wish it didn't have to end this way, but I had no choice with the way things were going.
---
( ૭ ಠ___ಠ)૭
Lunarz Emerald Sparx Gems: 3498
#31112 Posted: 20:19:43 11/07/2015
Quote: Sesshomaru75
Quote: Lunarz
-snip-

People shouldn't judge what they don't know. >.>


My point is that you do it way too often and it's annoying and just generally creepy.

And that's like saying that if someone makes suicide jokes that they shouldn't be judged because you don't know them. It's just not alright altogether.

Point is, I don't need to know you to know that you creep me out.

Also, just because I'm the only one to complain doesn't mean I'm the only one uncomfortable around you.

I know a few people who are as well, so don't just assume that I'm the only one because I'm the only one verbalizing my discomfort.

Quote: Lunarz
I find it amusing you assume my post was about Sess' post


It's pretty ****ing obvious, dude.


Well clearly I don't mean to do it 'way too often'
I'm sorry you don't like me, I'm sorry you find me creepy, but you should realize that's not my intention, if people find me uncomfortable to be around I wish they would tell me and I could change, all people have to do is use their words and let me know and I would be happy to oblige, I don't want to be disliked or thought of as creepy, but I can't please everyone, once again, sorry you don't like me and sorry I creep you out, it's not my intention at all, I know we don't get along but you don't have to post about me and make me feel like crap, you could always send me a message and let me know if you feel like I'm too sexual or too whatever I'm being and I will change because I don't mean to be.

Also I was kind of being ironic with that second post if it wasn't obvious which I guess it wasn't
---
Lanky Kong saved me despite having no style nor grace.
MagicFizz Emerald Sparx Gems: 3728
#31113 Posted: 21:39:55 11/07/2015
Quote: Lunarz
Quote: Sesshomaru75
Quote: Lunarz
-snip-

People shouldn't judge what they don't know. >.>


My point is that you do it way too often and it's annoying and just generally creepy.

And that's like saying that if someone makes suicide jokes that they shouldn't be judged because you don't know them. It's just not alright altogether.

Point is, I don't need to know you to know that you creep me out.

Also, just because I'm the only one to complain doesn't mean I'm the only one uncomfortable around you.

I know a few people who are as well, so don't just assume that I'm the only one because I'm the only one verbalizing my discomfort.

Quote: Lunarz
I find it amusing you assume my post was about Sess' post


It's pretty ****ing obvious, dude.


Well clearly I don't mean to do it 'way too often'
I'm sorry you don't like me, I'm sorry you find me creepy, but you should realize that's not my intention, if people find me uncomfortable to be around I wish they would tell me and I could change, all people have to do is use their words and let me know and I would be happy to oblige, I don't want to be disliked or thought of as creepy, but I can't please everyone, once again, sorry you don't like me and sorry I creep you out, it's not my intention at all, I know we don't get along but you don't have to post about me and make me feel like crap, you could always send me a message and let me know if you feel like I'm too sexual or too whatever I'm being and I will change because I don't mean to be.

Also I was kind of being ironic with that second post if it wasn't obvious which I guess it wasn't


This. Perfectly worded, Lunarz.
---
My life is complete.
Snow Green Sparx Gems: 361
#31114 Posted: 22:33:11 11/07/2015
Though it's far away, I'm thinking of getting a part-time job next spring...And I'm wondering if I should take it or not...The job is working in erm... A certain cafe...It's a... Maid cafe, and I did check the manager, the staff, and watched around with customers and that, it doesn't seem so bad, it actually seems like a friendly place, respected, and has good pay, it also works well within my time. Though I'm unsure if I should take the job or not... I have been thinking about it for sometime, but it still makes me nervous and shy and other emotions that otherwise make me lose my calm, but I need to answer earlier than spring as I need to tell my measurements and such for a costume to be made for me when it does become spring so I am ready for work in every way.


Though it's embarrassing, thoughts, opinions and advice would help. >////<
---
In-question; The only truth we look for is an answer... In-answer; The only thing we desire of it is to question it.
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6231
#31115 Posted: 23:17:15 11/07/2015
Quote: Snow
Though it's far away, I'm thinking of getting a part-time job next spring...And I'm wondering if I should take it or not...The job is working in erm... A certain cafe...It's a... Maid cafe, and I did check the manager, the staff, and watched around with customers and that, it doesn't seem so bad, it actually seems like a friendly place, respected, and has good pay, it also works well within my time. Though I'm unsure if I should take the job or not... I have been thinking about it for sometime, but it still makes me nervous and shy and other emotions that otherwise make me lose my calm, but I need to answer earlier than spring as I need to tell my measurements and such for a costume to be made for me when it does become spring so I am ready for work in every way.


Though it's embarrassing, thoughts, opinions and advice would help. >////<


Honestly that sounds pretty fun! And I mean, a job is a job, just as long as you are comfortable doing it, it should be alright.
Mesuxelf Ripto Gems: 3666
#31116 Posted: 23:20:55 11/07/2015
Quote: Snow
Though it's far away, I'm thinking of getting a part-time job next spring...And I'm wondering if I should take it or not...The job is working in erm... A certain cafe...It's a... Maid cafe, and I did check the manager, the staff, and watched around with customers and that, it doesn't seem so bad, it actually seems like a friendly place, respected, and has good pay, it also works well within my time. Though I'm unsure if I should take the job or not... I have been thinking about it for sometime, but it still makes me nervous and shy and other emotions that otherwise make me lose my calm, but I need to answer earlier than spring as I need to tell my measurements and such for a costume to be made for me when it does become spring so I am ready for work in every way.


Though it's embarrassing, thoughts, opinions and advice would help. >////<


If you want to do it and it pays well, I think you should at least give it a shot. If you don't like it or you find it makes you feel to uncomfortable, then oh well, it's not really for you, and at least you gave it a shot and have that experience under your belt. But if you do like it, you should take the job.

Hope all goes well.
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 23:25:41 11/07/2015 by Mesuxelf
Snow Green Sparx Gems: 361
#31117 Posted: 00:43:41 12/07/2015
Thanks both of you for your opinion, it helps, I was leaning toward taking it, even talked to the manager and was friendly enough to keep a position open for me and the staff agreed and it honestly does seem really fun to work at, watching everyone, it made me excited and happy how great the enviroment is, they even were respectful toward a certain situation that related toward me and said it'd actaully add more character and variety to staff, give it a bit more spice as one could say. and it was great how understanding they were. I didn't decide to accept at first being shy and working things out at first, but I think I may accept it somewhere in November.

Thank you very much, your opinions and the opinions of others helps lean my descision, I hope that I have a good time and have fun with this job!
---
In-question; The only truth we look for is an answer... In-answer; The only thing we desire of it is to question it.
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6231
#31118 Posted: 01:02:30 12/07/2015
Quote: Snow
Thanks both of you for your opinion, it helps, I was leaning toward taking it, even talked to the manager and was friendly enough to keep a position open for me and the staff agreed and it honestly does seem really fun to work at, watching everyone, it made me excited and happy how great the enviroment is, they even were respectful toward a certain situation that related toward me and said it'd actaully add more character and variety to staff, give it a bit more spice as one could say. and it was great how understanding they were. I didn't decide to accept at first being shy and working things out at first, but I think I may accept it somewhere in November.

Thank you very much, your opinions and the opinions of others helps lean my descision, I hope that I have a good time and have fun with this job!


That's good to hear~

No problem, good luck!! smilie
Angel220200 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4412
#31119 Posted: 02:21:56 12/07/2015
i want to talk to you guys but i don't know what to say anymore and everytime i try to start a conversation it just dies
what am i supposed to do cries
---
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you.
StriderSwag Gold Sparx Gems: 2769
#31120 Posted: 02:35:51 12/07/2015
tfw no one cares in the slightest about my well thought out superhero show comparison...
IsisStormDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 7127
#31121 Posted: 03:05:52 12/07/2015
i feel so... out of touch? i guess?

so many things to say and do, so little time... and so little interest from the people i want to hear something from.

i havent been able to write the way i used to since... 2013? so many ideas, but too terrified to share them and due to certain people in my life i've grown to feel so... bad. just. bad. like nothing i do or want to do is never really of any worth.

i tried not to let it get to me, but ever since 2013, i've had to deal with it almost constantly and i lost my 'shell' i had built up over the years, and all attempts to restore it end in failure.

i. i just... i want my confidence back. i want to feel happy. and less scared.

and i really wish my health would finally get to a point to where i don't have to spend every waking second with some sort of pain. i've done things that have lessened the pain, but it never goes away entirely.

tbh im not even sure what its like to spend a single day without some sort of emotional or physical pain now. i bet its nice.
---
Stranger in the Desert
valskeletor Yellow Sparx Gems: 1155
#31122 Posted: 04:46:56 12/07/2015
this is the first time ive ever really experienced a death in close family and i have no idea how to react or feel or do and i feel sick to my stomach and i want to cry but nothing is coming out i dont know how to feel

- - -
---
tubular
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6231
#31123 Posted: 06:19:10 12/07/2015
Every time I hear that music it gives me a peaceful, almost happy feeling. But at the same time it makes me kind of sad because it leaves me longing for what I can't have... *sigh*


-----
IsisStormDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 7127
#31124 Posted: 07:20:37 12/07/2015
good god this storm is kfgnkhgnfkjghnkhn

came out of freaking nowhere

- - -

I am going to make an attempt to crawl out of my depression and do things. This will be difficult...
---
Stranger in the Desert
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862
#31125 Posted: 08:50:07 12/07/2015
mom, you might just be paranoid
Trix Master 100 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8324
#31126 Posted: 10:02:16 12/07/2015
HOW HARD IS IT TO SPOILER YOUR DAMNED SPIDER PICTURES!? JESUS **** I ALMOST HAD A FEAR BREAKDOWN! WHAT THE ****!? Do you people know how common it is to find people being scared of spiders?!


pretty mad at some.
---
If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest
icon from Empoh
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 11:02:13 12/07/2015 by Trix Master 100
thumper Ripto Gems: 3519
#31127 Posted: 10:05:09 12/07/2015
I haven't had much sleep in the past 4 nights, I'm burned out. I'm confused, I'm just I dunno maybe emotionless? You knew I was exhausted yet you were persistent in getting me to the point that I had an anxiety attack that hit me like a freight train. I need to take care of myself. I need some sleep, I need calmness to return. I need to find my inner peace. I guess I'm trying to say, my spirit is broken and I need time to heal.
terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418
#31128 Posted: 10:43:30 12/07/2015
I want to die
Batzooka119 Ripto Gems: 720
#31129 Posted: 11:25:20 12/07/2015
Quote: Trix Master 100
HOW HARD IS IT TO SPOILER YOUR DAMNED SPIDER PICTURES!? JESUS **** I ALMOST HAD A FEAR BREAKDOWN! WHAT THE ****!? Do you people know how common it is to find people being scared of spiders?!


pretty mad at some.



i.imgur.com/3MdC2vA.jpg
whirlwind fan Platinum Sparx Gems: 5822
#31130 Posted: 12:12:42 12/07/2015
Quote: Trix Master 100
HOW HARD IS IT TO SPOILER YOUR DAMNED SPIDER PICTURES!? JESUS **** I ALMOST HAD A FEAR BREAKDOWN! WHAT THE ****!? Do you people know how common it is to find people being scared of spiders?!


pretty mad at some.


****ING DITTO
ShadowStorm Yellow Sparx Gems: 1482
#31131 Posted: 15:07:18 12/07/2015
Listen, I'm not going to be surprised if this is not going happen.. okay.. that's not my deal, and I'm not satisfied by the situations either..

Alongside from palling, conflicts are among the most annoying of them all.. Good deal on doing so..

I'm just not going to say anything...
ShadowStorm Yellow Sparx Gems: 1482
#31132 Posted: 15:11:34 12/07/2015
Quote: Cynderfan507
If you didn't want to piss me off, you wouldn't have ignored me. But no. And I'm really done trying. I really don't need the extra stress anyways.



Those words are a great example on my thoughts, yes, you understand me.
MagicFizz Emerald Sparx Gems: 3728
#31133 Posted: 15:56:29 12/07/2015
Quote: BlackWing116
Yes and everybody knows from the obvious who you're talking about! It's not YOU,Im angry on! Everything is,a mess.

Nobody is going to ****ing comfort me. Whenever I start up my ohone its "(Name) close ur phine and spend time with us" or whenever I.just state something I get a shoutmouth back. :/
Nobody is like "BlackWing I understand can you cakm down?" Or "BlackWing I know you care about me while you sacrefise your own.happiness I can give you something to be fair"
But its neither!!! its always "stop being so.negative blah blah blah"
I'm done with you! You cant keep me happy! Im jealous! You can do whatever you want while Im being used as a slave by everyone! I am not allowed to be on dark because you want to.plan for our sleepover! You get mad on ME for saying cartain things! You get pissed at me whenever I do a ****ing wrong action!
Yes I'm your mother****ing slave! I'm not even your girlfriend!
or your daughter! I'm.just your ****ing slave! Punished for the most stupidest things ever!


You truly break me apart one day.... you cant even care for me as your daughter....

And fine, dont say anything. It sjows truky you dont ****ing care for me whatsoever.


;-;

I don't know what's going on, but you could use a hug.

*hugs*
---
My life is complete.
BlackWing116 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1480
#31134 Posted: 16:26:20 12/07/2015
Quote: MagicFizz
Quote: BlackWing116
Yes and everybody knows from the obvious who you're talking about! It's not YOU,Im angry on! Everything is,a mess.

Nobody is going to ****ing comfort me. Whenever I start up my ohone its "(Name) close ur phine and spend time with us" or whenever I.just state something I get a shoutmouth back. :/
Nobody is like "BlackWing I understand can you cakm down?" Or "BlackWing I know you care about me while you sacrefise your own.happiness I can give you something to be fair"
But its neither!!! its always "stop being so.negative blah blah blah"
I'm done with you! You cant keep me happy! Im jealous! You can do whatever you want while Im being used as a slave by everyone! I am not allowed to be on dark because you want to.plan for our sleepover! You get mad on ME for saying cartain things! You get pissed at me whenever I do a ****ing wrong action!
Yes I'm your mother****ing slave! I'm not even your girlfriend!
or your daughter! I'm.just your ****ing slave! Punished for the most stupidest things ever!


You truly break me apart one day.... you cant even care for me as your daughter....

And fine, dont say anything. It sjows truky you dont ****ing care for me whatsoever.


;-;

I don't know what's going on, but you could use a hug.

*hugs*


Eep.... err...t-thanks...
I'm already better...it was just a moment of outrage.
Badwolfmichael Gold Sparx Gems: 2511
#31135 Posted: 16:43:39 12/07/2015
There are three comepletely different situations going on right now, and I managed to mess up all of them and disappoint everyone.
My life can be pretty complicated, and in order to help one person, I have to disappoint the other two.
;>.<
AvatariDragon Platinum Sparx Gems: 6231
#31136 Posted: 16:45:37 12/07/2015
Feeling distant..

I'm sorry...


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Edited 1 time - Last edited at 16:52:55 12/07/2015 by AvatariDragon
AmethystRose Yellow Sparx Gems: 1132
#31137 Posted: 19:51:21 12/07/2015
Hurrdurr my gem count has 69 in it lolawl
---
ϟ Break my heart, break me til I fall apart. ϟ
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