Very good chapter! Has Bane gone crazy? Probably not..... Lol
Make...
A
Book
And
Publish
It
Already!
I am going to keep saying that in every comment I make lol
darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Fandom > Fan Fiction > Deadlier Than Love 2: Veil of Shadows
Levi Ripto Gems: 1136 |
#101 Posted: 19:52:28 03/07/2010
|
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163 |
#102 Posted: 02:34:33 04/07/2010
Bane is the best dragon I've heard of.
---
OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer |
crazyspyrofan Yellow Sparx Gems: 1042 |
#103 Posted: 04:41:08 04/07/2010
Sorry I didnt post on a few chapters,I've been really busy today.This is still really good.
---
"This twisted game needs to be reset,"-Solo Wing Pixy,Ace Combat Zero. |
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#104 Posted: 04:43:41 04/07/2010 | Topic Creator
Thats fine CSF (I am calling you that now, live with it!) Oh and Fireball, have you heard of a dragon by the name of Comet? I hear he is pretty cool. Though I am glad you like Bane, I am realy trying to make him a interesting character of his own to realy see if I can get people to actually care about what happens to him.
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 04:44:03 04/07/2010 by Tibs
|
crazyspyrofan Yellow Sparx Gems: 1042 |
#105 Posted: 05:02:54 04/07/2010
Comet is awesome,enough said.
---
"This twisted game needs to be reset,"-Solo Wing Pixy,Ace Combat Zero. |
Night Owl Yellow Sparx Gems: 1942 |
#106 Posted: 13:42:39 04/07/2010
Awsome! 8D
---
Back from hibernation. |
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#107 Posted: 17:35:30 04/07/2010 | Topic Creator
I have bad news. Something has gone wrong with my computer. It says its needs a boot disk or some gibberish. I am using my PS3 to type this. I will try to get this problem fixed as soon as possible, but I have no idea how long this will take to fix. Happy 4th of July..
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
Night Owl Yellow Sparx Gems: 1942 |
#108 Posted: 17:40:52 04/07/2010
Awww. I hope your computer is ok soon. ;3 Happy 4th of July to you too.
---
Back from hibernation. |
Levi Ripto Gems: 1136 |
#109 Posted: 18:16:39 04/07/2010
I hope you get your computer fixed, happy 4th of July Tibs!
|
cynder fan Blue Sparx Gems: 588 |
#110 Posted: 18:46:29 04/07/2010
umm well nice chapter
---
,,This is where it really ends'' |
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#111 Posted: 20:44:52 04/07/2010 | Topic Creator
Well now I am on my sisters laptop so I can now properly search the internet. However I cant re=type todays chapter because I am having trouble typing on it. Thanks for your concerns, I am realy sorry abour all of this. I am going to try and fix my computer with the help of my tech smart sister. I just hope all the chapters I wrote are still okay..
Besides my computer troubles today has been great. I was in my town's parade throwing out candy to everyone who came to watch, I even got to see some old friends. My father'a truck also got first place as a float. Say make sure to keep checking this thread, I will get the fan fiction going again as quickly as possible. Thank you for your patience and understanding. I am realy sorry.
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 21:59:28 04/07/2010 by Tibs
|
crazyspyrofan Yellow Sparx Gems: 1042 |
#112 Posted: 04:10:08 05/07/2010
Im sorry about your computer Tibs,well happy 4th of July anyways.
---
"This twisted game needs to be reset,"-Solo Wing Pixy,Ace Combat Zero. |
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#113 Posted: 04:15:49 05/07/2010 | Topic Creator
Oh screw this! I cant take it anymore! I must write Fan fiction! This laptop has notepad so by god I am going to recreate all my lost chapters! I will continue this fan fiction on this laptop if it kills me! Expect new chapters tommorrow, I am getting this fan fiction back on track!
Edit: I will post a chapter in a couple minutes. I need to get one out now or I will go insane!
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 04:32:34 05/07/2010 by Tibs
|
crazyspyrofan Yellow Sparx Gems: 1042 |
#114 Posted: 04:19:06 05/07/2010
nice,wish I would be here to see them.Oh,well I will catch up when I get back home
---
"This twisted game needs to be reset,"-Solo Wing Pixy,Ace Combat Zero. |
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163 |
#115 Posted: 04:33:08 05/07/2010
I'd try wordpad instead, it is better.
---
OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer |
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#116 Posted: 05:04:28 05/07/2010 | Topic Creator
Chapter 13 - No point in arguing now.
Bane whirled around expecting to see another monster coming for him, instead he saw a clumsy dragon come tripping out of the bushes, landing hard on his head, a small puff of dust flew out from underneath him, it was Grom. Bane felt like laughing but he would not get the chance. In a split second he found himself being pushed to the ground by a strong force. He turned to see Starfury bearing down on him. " Quick Grom get out of here before he kills you too!" She yelled loudly as she pinned Bane to the ground. " Let him go Starfury, he wont hurt us." Grom sighed calmly, " You dont know what he is like! Get away from him! Starfury cried out, a great fear in her voice. Bane was just lying there on the ground calmly. " He is my best friend, I think I know him better then you. Now let him go before he forces you off." Grom said with a confident smile. " He murdered Rex and Jasper!" Starfury said with a growl. " I dont believe that, there is no way Bane would do that." Grom replied, a hint of doubt in his voice. " Please Starfury, let me tell him" Bane said as he stared into Starfury's white eyes. Despite what Bane felt inside he was able to be persuasive and act calm. Starfury slowly released her grip on Bane and took several steps back, she was watching his every move like a hawk, ready to attack at a moments notice. Bane got to his feet and looked at Grom who was looking at him doubtfully. " Grom, Starfury is telling the truth, I did murder Rex and Jasper, I killed them both." Bane admitted, his voice was low and shamefull. " No..You wouldn't do that! Why would you do that? " Grom spat out in shock, he didn't believe the words he was hearing. " I cared about someone..I cared about them deeply, but they betrayed me..they hurt me real bad. I lost control of myself and in my rage I killed both Rex and Jasper." Bane explained spitefully, his voice was now riddled with guilt and anger. His head was pointed downwards, his eyes staring at Starfury. She was standing a small distance behind Bane, nolonger in her attack position. Instead she was standing upright but with her head turned away. " You realy are a murderer... you..realy did kill Rex and Jasper!" Grom cried out, his world felt upside down. His best friend, his only friend, was a cold blooded killer. " I know how you must feel Grom but I.." Bane was able to say before being cut off sharply. " You what, didn't mean to kill them!? Or maybe you meant to say its going to be okay?" Grom barked loudly at Bane. " I dont know you anymore!" " Shut up and listen to me!" Bane roared, he had enough of Grom by now. " Do you think I am happy that I killed them? Do you think I wanted to!? No I didn't! I regret every second of it!" Bane ended, still yelling passionitly. Starfury was sitting silently as she watched the two fight she felt both guilt and pleasure. " Well.. You.." Grom stopped abruptly, he could not think of what to say next. "We have both been for alot Grom. We have both lost so much so quickly but we still have eachother, we dont need to lose that." Bane said, his voice sounded empty, like he was trying to express emotion but he couldn't. " We can still avenge our familys if we work together." He ended, sounding like more of a drill seargent then a friend. " You..you are right. What you did does not matter anymore, but what we can do now does!" Grom spoke out, a feeling of confidence begant to fill him. " Thats very sweet, but what about me?" A female voice called out amidst the silence.
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
GamingMaster_76 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1271 |
#117 Posted: 05:31:36 05/07/2010
Great chapter
|
Levi Ripto Gems: 1136 |
#118 Posted: 05:36:48 05/07/2010
Very VERY good chapter! I wonder what is going to happen to Starfury.... I hope we get another chapter soon! I am really addicted to this story!
|
Night Owl Yellow Sparx Gems: 1942 |
#119 Posted: 06:20:30 05/07/2010
Wow, very good! It's a shame that you lost the files, though. D:
---
Back from hibernation. |
Doomdrao Platinum Sparx Gems: 6798 |
#120 Posted: 09:25:02 05/07/2010
ooooooooo i'm wondering what Starfury's gonna think now
---
I'd wait a fresh minute—Me, To a Co-Worker about Greggs Bakery Steak Bakes |
Solister Gold Sparx Gems: 2478 |
#121 Posted: 10:09:19 05/07/2010
Good chapter
---
Heavy: MEDIC! Medic: NO! |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 10:10:00 05/07/2010 by Solister
|
Bolt Hunter Gems: 6158 |
#122 Posted: 10:19:24 05/07/2010
This took me heaps long to read, crazyspyrofan was right!
|
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#123 Posted: 10:24:59 05/07/2010 | Topic Creator
Quote: Bolt
and what did you think...? Also I dont know if there will be a chapter later today. I have to start over from scratch now and rewrite todays chapter so..things could be a bit better. I think I will put the next chapter up on july 6th, the day after today.
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
Bolt Hunter Gems: 6158 |
#124 Posted: 10:27:00 05/07/2010
I think your stories are GREAT!!!!!!!
Can't wait for more! |
Samius Hunter Gems: 9336 |
#125 Posted: 17:17:44 05/07/2010
Read it. I hope this story will be longer than the last.
So far so good. A bit of faulty grammar here and there, but it's nothing serious.. One thing I did notice is that you use the same tricks. First everything is fine, romance is in the air, then the main charactrer gets on a killing spree. The rest of the story is emo blabber 'till the happy ending.. No offence to you, of cource. I just meant that "dark" doesn't mean overly emotional, I actually kinda despise it that way.. But, in my comment on your first story, I forgot to mention that the way you detail the story is great. It takes a good writer to make the characters seem alive, and you do it well. Keep up the good work, just don't make the characters look like they love to cry.. |
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163 |
#126 Posted: 17:22:47 05/07/2010
Nice! I can't wait for that next chapter.
---
OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer |
Andi_Shy_94 Red Sparx Gems: 50 |
#127 Posted: 17:33:43 05/07/2010
Well, as always, a spectacular chapter, I've finally stopped being surprised at your beyond natural ability of writing.
Keep up the amazing work! ^.=.^
---
You're the Purple to my Black <3 |
Samius Hunter Gems: 9336 |
#128 Posted: 17:46:54 05/07/2010
I wouldn't say "beyond natural", many people here know how to write well..
|
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#129 Posted: 17:52:21 05/07/2010 | Topic Creator
My readers are a good bit exagagerative I have noticed. Though I cannot deny I love reading them say it, makes me feel warm inside. I am working on chapter 14 right now so there may be a chapter today.
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
Samius Hunter Gems: 9336 |
#130 Posted: 17:58:06 05/07/2010
Well yeah, I know what you mean. I've have people say to me that my fic is the best Spyro fanfic in the world for about.. 6 times, if I remember it right..
|
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#131 Posted: 18:03:52 05/07/2010 | Topic Creator
It feels so good, makes it all worth it.
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
Andi_Shy_94 Red Sparx Gems: 50 |
#132 Posted: 19:05:00 05/07/2010
You're right, and I'm very glad because I love reading and their stories are just my cup of tea. I hope my comment didn't offend you as a writer it wasn't intended that way because I'm reading one of your Fan Fics right now (and loving it by the way). Just thought I'd let you know you are very right about having other amazing authors on this site.
---
You're the Purple to my Black <3 |
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#133 Posted: 19:12:10 05/07/2010 | Topic Creator
Remember, if you like mystery check out Andi_shy_94's fan fic, The Unknown - //forum.darkspyro.net/spyro/viewposts.php?topic=31158
Chapter 14 - Cowards come in pairs. " What about you?" Bane huffed, he still felt only contempt for Starfury. " There is a reason I am out here you know." Starfury said smartly. " How did you escape the attack on the village anyways?" Bane inquired. He did not realy care about Starfury, he was more interested about whatever she could tell him about the monsters that attacked the village. " After your killing spree I fled towards the village behind Greyson. I tripped and injured myself along the way but Greyson ran on without me. We both expected to see you running right behind us. When I finally got to the village everyone was having a meeting" Starfury explained, there was a strong feeling of bitterness in her usually soft voice. " Yes I remember that, you stumbled into the village and passed out, before..before Sohtia arrived." Grom said smugly at first but ended mummbling as he began to realize what he was saying. " I awoke to the sounds of screaming. My vision was blurred but I could the village in flames, some dragons were trying to fight the creatures that attacked but were quickly being overwhelmed. All around me there were motionless dragon bodies, many had fear a look of fear plastered on their face. I did not see any of Groms family or Sparrow...but I did see my parents. They were dead, both of them. My father was dead on the floor, my mother by his side." Starfury said slowly as if remembering a nightmere. " What happened next?" Bane questioned, ignoring Starfury's despair. She looked up at him, a few tears were in her eyes but she stared defiantly at Bane. " I tried to sneak my way out of there. I walked over my parent's corpses without even saying goodbye. As I snuck away, I could see Grom running towards the temple.." Starfury said painfully before being cut off sharply by Grom. " Were you doing anything different!?" He barked out, appearantly leaving his family to die was a sensitive topic. " No..no I didn't." Starfury spoke remorsefully, only her pride keeping her from shedding a tear. " I saw your father too Bane." Bane felt a chil go down his body as he heard those words. " I saw him standing before a large Black Dragon with blue eyes. Both were slowly pacing around the other with their heads lowered, ready to strike. I heard them talking as well, there words were muffled by the screams nearby and the sound of flames ingulfing wood. Though I understood a few words Sohtia said. He said something about a evil returning and a grand destiny." Starfury said, Bane clinging to her every word. " But you didn't see any of my family?" Grom asked in a worried tone. Starfury shook her head at him. A brief silence followed. Not a single dragon knew what to say. It was Bane who would speak first. " Lets go..we have to reach the west peak of the mountains soon." He said looking at Starfury. Though he felt aboslute disgust towards her he could use her help. She nodded slowly and followed him deeper into the forest, Grom right behind them.
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
Levi Ripto Gems: 1136 |
#134 Posted: 20:29:31 05/07/2010
Really good chapter! I am so speechless that I am typing this! Lol I hope your computer gets fixed, and say hi to your sister for me! Lol ^.=.^
|
Solister Gold Sparx Gems: 2478 |
#135 Posted: 23:04:44 05/07/2010
Hmm, wonder what will happen next
Good chapter
---
Heavy: MEDIC! Medic: NO! |
GamingMaster_76 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1271 |
#136 Posted: 02:08:43 06/07/2010
Can't wait for next chapter!
|
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163 |
#137 Posted: 02:44:16 06/07/2010
Very good chapter.
---
OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer |
Doomdrao Platinum Sparx Gems: 6798 |
#138 Posted: 12:52:05 06/07/2010
oooooooooooooo exciting
---
I'd wait a fresh minute—Me, To a Co-Worker about Greggs Bakery Steak Bakes |
Tibs Yellow Sparx Gems: 1183 |
#139 Posted: 17:30:58 06/07/2010 | Topic Creator
Thanks for the comments everyone, it realy means alot.
Chapter 15 - More to it then that The three dragons had been walking for hours now, not a single word had been said. Bane was walking forward in stride, Starfury was right behind him walking calmly, but Grom was several yards behind trying to keep up. The woods were getting thicker and the trees seemed to get closer together. Bane and Starfury glided through them but Grom barely managed to squeeze through. " Guys..wait up..I..I cant keep up!" Grom yelled to them before he fell to the ground in exhaustion. Both Bane and Starfury stopped and turned to see Grom panting heavily on the ground. Starfury sighed, annoyed by his weakness, Bane glared at her before he went to Grom's side. Starfury stood several feet back, even though she had been with them for hours she still did not feel even slightly accepted, afterall, why should she be? " I am sorry Bane, can I just rest here for a bit? " Grom apoligized, he felt guilty for slowing Bane down. " Yeah, you can." Bane told Grom, he tried to sound friendly but his voice sounded cold and empty. "Starfury, stay with Grom for a little bit, I am going to walk ahead a little bit, see if I can find some food." Bane mumbled as he walked past Starfury deeper into the forest. After Bane had vanished into the forest Starfury walked up to Grom and sat down beside him, resting her head on her paws. " Whats his problem? Starfury mumbled to herself. To her suprise Grom answered her. " His father is dead you know.." He said, raising his right eyebrow. " I lost both my parents to, but you dont see me being a complete jerk to other people do you!? Starfury snapped at Grom. " There is more to it then that..He blames himself for his father's death. He never told his father he loved him..not once. He has alot of guilt to deal with right, in his mind he murdered three dragons, not two." Grom explained as if he was watching a memory play from Bane's mind. " Oh.." Starfury said lowly, but she would resume her attack. " That still doesn't make it right!" She snapped out again. " What did you do to him anyway, to make him kill?" Grom inquired, he needed to know. Starfury slowly turned her head to face Grom, her crystal white eyes looked slightly red as they reflected the suns light. " It is a long story, but you are his friend and deserve to know. Just..just promise me you wont bring it up to him, there is no telling what he might do!" Starfury said, Grom could see fear in her eyes. " I promise" Grom said slightly nodding his head. " Remember how Rex and Bane always went head to head on everything? Like last week when Rex pushed you to the ground to prove he was strong?" Starfury started to explain. The sun was starting to lower beneath the horizon. " Yes, I do. I also remember how Bane showed him up by lifting me in the air with just his head." Grom said with a smirk, fondly remembering the event. " Yeah, Rex was furious." Starfury chuckled lightly, but she returned to her serious attitude quickly. " After that fiasco he was so angry he decided to get back Bane. At first he wanted to beat you almost to death but his father, Sparrow, recommended something else." she stopped briefly to see look around to see if Bane was nearby. " Looks liike Sparrow finally helped me.." Grom said with a gulp. " Anyways, Sparrow advised something more devious. He understood the most brutal way to hurt someone is not physically, but emotionally. He approached me and ask for my assistance the day before he got you and Bane to work at the construction site." Starfury said before Grom cut her off. " So how were you supposed to gain Bane's trust and then betray him? He asked slowly, he was doubting Starfury's honesty. " Well..I..I was supposed to do more then that, I was supposed to..to make him fall in love with me." Starfury said quickly, she blushed ever so slightly. " You what!?" Grom yelled out in disbelief. " Be quiet!" Starfury whispered to Grom. She then frantically looked around her to make sure Bane was not nearby. " You what?" Grom said again, this time in a loud whisper. " The plan was for me to get Bane to fall in love with me over a couple weeks. Though when I first approached him he melted like ice. I kinda arranged a date with him after dinner time the next day. I was a little late because I had to tell Rex to get the guys to ambush Bane. When I finally arrived I hid for a bit to watch him. He called out my name several times and began to walk away when a tiny rabit snuck up on him. When I finally came out of to talk to him his face lit up like a tree on fire. He..(She stooped abrutply for a few seconds before continuing) it was like he was realy happy to see me." Starfury said as she stared out into the setting sun.
---
I love you Brittany! ^.=.^ |
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163 |
#140 Posted: 17:48:11 06/07/2010
Nice.
---
OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer |
Night Owl Yellow Sparx Gems: 1942 |
#141 Posted: 18:06:19 06/07/2010
Wow, awsome!
---
Back from hibernation. |
DarkCynder10 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3346 |
#142 Posted: 19:37:53 06/07/2010
I always enjoy your writing! Keep up the great work!
I like Starfury, BTW. Oh, and my jaw hung open a bit on chapter 13.
---
( ૭ ಠ___ಠ)૭ |
Levi Ripto Gems: 1136 |
#143 Posted: 19:42:51 06/07/2010
I love this chapter! I am glad Starfury has a heart lol
|
Solister Gold Sparx Gems: 2478 |
#144 Posted: 20:47:21 06/07/2010
Gah, Starfury, a pawn in Sparrows plan
Good chapter
---
Heavy: MEDIC! Medic: NO! |
Cynder09 Diamond Sparx Gems: 9878 |
#145 Posted: 22:56:07 06/07/2010
great story. i really enjoy reading it.
---
I live my life inside a dream, only waking when I sleep. Yeah, I've been living in the state of dreaming, living in a make-believe land. |
Doomdrao Platinum Sparx Gems: 6798 |
#146 Posted: 10:19:50 07/07/2010
Sparrow's a meanie for suggesting that DX
---
I'd wait a fresh minute—Me, To a Co-Worker about Greggs Bakery Steak Bakes |
GamingMaster_76 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1271 |
#147 Posted: 12:34:25 07/07/2010
Yeah, he is :C
|
Please login or register a forum account to post a message.