darkSpyro

Granted, but you never existed either.

I wish for school to be over, but everything else continues on completely normally

Granted... But you get a call from your school demanding fees on unreturned books. I hear they're worth somewhere in the $100s.

I would like to get this last achievement in this game done with already. Pretty please?

Granted, but right as you accomplish it, your save file corrupts.

I wish for websites I go on to be more active.

Granted, but the entire internet crashes and blows up

I wish to be able to get all the way up the mountain

Granted, but you die when you reach the top

I wish people were nicer

Granted, but they get too nice.

I wish I create a paradox

You create a paradox, but you yourself become the paradox.

I wish I could talk.

Done; you've got a bit of an impediment in the form of stuttering though. Maybe some coaching will get that sorted out.

I wish I had enough money to get this homemade costume I'm really digging right now.

Granted, but a cat eats it.

I wish I could cook over-easy eggs

Granted, but doing so is still pretty hard-boiled *shot*

I wish that any food I make tastes delicious.

Noice pun
Granted, but it smells horrible.

I wish for the power to slow down time at will.

@Skyhunter Granted. You are challenged to make your signature dish (Dogfart Pepperoni) for a renowned chef! However, just as you jumpstart your culinary career, a terrible storm ravages the country of the farms you source your expensive ingredients from a few days later. You'll be stressed as you are forced to improv with a less fantastic dish (Banana and Cola Stew) and like that, you smell defeat...

EDIT NINJA DAMNIT
@elusive ninja Granted! You become corrupt and time slows so dramatically that not even you can fix the error in your ways. We are doomed.

I would love to get my job started already!

Granted, but you get paid $2.00/hr.

I want three wishes.

Granted, but all three are duds.

I wish for the retreat tomorrow to be more exciting than normal.

Granted. You are all falling into a volcano. Is that exciting enough?

I wish for cute pooches.

Granted!
You draw for mere days and you now have the expertise reminiscent of your favorite artists. You steal their publicity and grab all their commissions en masse. They now deem you their idols and have proposed to meet you in person! I bet you feel very confident; nothing can stop you now, you're on top of the world.
Little do you know that one of these artists are planning to kill you in your own home. But you didn't hear anything from me, and they certainly won't stop until you've ceased breathing. I would definitely block off your external power outlets as they possess a talent in the arts of... electrical fires.

I hope my litigation goes through regarding my graphics card.

granted. after it happens you blow up.

i wish i could watch sailor moon forever

Granted, but you still die at some point.

I wish to become an ultra powerful dragon god thing

granted, you are corrin, but stuck in dragon form

I wish for infinite food that isn't bad

Granted. It fills up the universe and everyone suffocates.

I wish for unlimited streaming.

Granted, but you aren't unlimited, so you fade away more the longer you exist

no wish posted

I wish more people would play monster hunter

Granted. So many people are online that the whole Internet gets rekt.

404, wish not found.

I wish there were more days a week.

Granted. There are infinity days. ERROR ERROR ERROR
TERMINATING EXISTENCE
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I wish for magic turtles.

Granted, but they hate you

I wish to stay the same!

Granted. You are frozen in the same exact position, with the same exact expression, with the same exact thought.

No wish, no grant.

I wish all the users on Darkspyro

Granted. All of the users on Darkspyro continued to exist, except you.

I wish for pickles.

The pickles exist. You die

I wish I exist!

Granted. Your friends cease to exist.

I wish for an awesome collector-grade Metal Sonic figure.

Granted, you sell everything else you own for it.

I wish to be able to transform into things and be able to switch back too.

Granted. You can only transform into either a cracker, a slice of cheese, or a potato chip.

What's your wish tho?

What's yo wish?
I wish for an NES game cartridge.

Granted, but you can't have a NES console.

I wish a 2600 console and lot's of games for it.

Granted. You never said it was functional.

I wish the moon from Majora's Mask existed.

Granted, but it's on a collision course with you.

I wish I could live in Neverland.

AAaaaaaaaaaand, you're stuck on Neverland, because it just got renamed to NeverLEAVEland.

I wonder what curse I'd have if I wished to have Mirror's Edge abilities.

Granted. Every time you touch something it turns into a broken mirror's edge and cuts you.

I wish for endless potatoes.

granted, but that's the only food you have

I wish for ice cream

Granted, but you become lactose intolerant

I wish to see a koala

Granted. It rips your face off.

I wish that the story of FNaF was solved.

Granted, but it turns out the cupcake was behind it all. All of it.

I wish that it would rain pancakes on the weekends.

Quote: Kat-Kun

Granted. Every time you touch something it turns into a broken mirror's edge and cuts you.

Not even CLOSE to what I meant, but okay.

Anyway, your curse is having to deal with a pancakenado in the future.

And my curse for wishing for a wishing well would be...?

((For SkyHunter: But they would rot the second the touch anything solid))


I WISH NOTHING BAD EVERY HAPPENS TO ME EVERY AGAIN

(Including the corrupt part)

Your wish made you cease to exist because it couldn't take the grammar error.

I wish for a banana.

You get a banana, but not the kind you were hoping for... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I wish to do well on my next precalculus test.

AAAAAAnd, then you fail your actual Calculus class.

A saber app for my phone, anyone?