darkSpyro

That was unexpected! I was about to cry! Pc!

tell me what you think. please

I love the idea! Your good at story writeing ever thought of being an auther? You make the story come to life.

i`m not thinking of becoming an author but thanks anyway.

i just love to write. It takes my mind off of things. I like to combine things together and let it bloom in my mind. And that`s what makes my fanfiction.

Jak picked keira up and carried her to Ratchets room. He carefully laid her on the bed. He lightly kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room. "I`m gonna find something to bring you back." Jak whispered and he shut the door behind him.

He took the first step out of Ratchet`s house. Looking into the dawn sky, he could tell it was going to be a crappy day. Clouds were consuming the peachy sky. He also looked to the ground and saw a pair of two lines. [i] That`s where Ratchets feet were dragging the ground when the Krimson guards took him.[/i]

Jak`s great idea was to follow the trail. [i] Ratchet may have something i need to get keira back. [/i]

What the **** was she doing in ratchets house breaking things?

I'd like to know that to....keep going please...

She had dresses up like t
one of the guards so she could sneak in and get jaks attention by breaking things. jak had taken it the wrong way and shot her.

Ah. Now it makes sense.

Yes, please continue.

Plz, continue. I want to see what happens!

Chapter 4

note: anything jak is thinking in his head will be qouted between *. The italics is screwing me up. sometimes they don`t even show up.

Jak got his shot gun out and carefully followed the footprints to a rather shabby, run down prison. The street were clear. Nobody was walking around, no guards. *probably becuase it`s early in the morining*, thought Jak.

He walked up to the main entrance door. "I don`t think that`s a great idea.", said Jak. "There are probably guards swarming the place inside."

He heard screaming inside that sounded oddly Ratchet. *he`s being tortured!* He tightened his fists. * don`t do it here. then they will definitely want to kill you*. Jak walked around to the back of the building. The windows were all barred up, and there were big cracks in the walls. As he passed the windows, he could distinctly hear cries coming from the window. Jak looked around for something to stand on. He knew that was Ratchet.

There were some wooden crates scattered on the ground, down the street. He picked up a few, and stacked them underneath the window. Climbing to the top, he peeked through the bars. Nothing but an empty shell. He then saw a krimson guard open the cell door. He had a bright purple glowing sword in his hands. (just like the one from halo 3). "Get up! You mangy lombax!" , yelled the guard.

"Please." , Jak could here the suffering voice of Ratchet. He was in a dark corner. "Please, no more."

"What makes you think were going to go easy on you?", asked the guard in a teasing way. "It`s not going to stop me." He walked to the corner of the room, grabbed Ratchet from the ears and threw him in the middle of the room. Ratchet wasn`t wearing any of his armour, just a pair of shorts. He had many bloody holes in his torso. The guard took his foot and smashed his face in the ground and took the sword and stabbed it through his body.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!", yelled Ratchet. The sword`s light started to drain down.

Once the swords light dissipated, the guard yanked it back out and walked out of the cell and locked the door. Ratchet lay in the middle of the floor, crying quitely.

Jak saw everthing. "Ratchet!" , he whispered loudly.

Ratchet looked up at the window Jak was peeking through. "Jak.", he sounded weak. He slowly got to his fours and crawled over. He climbed up a upside down pail, (use for bathroom buisness) and meet Jak`s face. Thunder rolled across the sky. "Jak.", Ratche said again. "Please get me out of here. The guards are on break, they`ll resume their rounds in one hour."

"What have they done to you?", asked Jak. Ratchet shook his head. Jak knew he didn`t want to talk about it. "Listen. After you left your house late at. night, another Krimson guard came in the house and started tearing up your things."

Oh my god! Oh my god! I can't belive that just happend! Great start to the chapter, plz continue.

Ratchey was too weak to care, so Jak continued. "I shot the guard with the shotgun you gave me. But when i took the helmet off, I-", Jak was starting to feel the tears burn his eyes. But he painstakingly continued. "I shot my best friend, Keira."

Ratchet really didn`t know how to react or what to say. "I`m really sorry about what happened Jak." Ratchet put his hand on top of Jaks. "What did you do with her body?"

"I layed her on your bed.", replied Jak. He quickly changed the subject. "How am i going to get you out?", he asked.

Ratchet looked behind him to makebsure the guards were still on there break. "Go around the back and try to open the door. If it`s locked, just shoot the lock with your shotgun.", explained Ratchet.

"Ok.", said Jak. He jumped down off of the boxes and ran to the back of the building. He yanked on the door handles. The door wouldn`t budge. He took out his shotgun and aimed it at the lock.

"I wouldn`t do that if I were you. It would be potentially problematic." Jak about jumped out of his skin. He looked around to see who was there. Nothing. Just a bunch of trash on the groundm and a really shiny toy robot.

The robot caught his eye. "Hmmmm.", mumbled Jak. He put his gun on his back and walked over to the tiny robot. He bent down to pick it up. The tiny robot began to vibrate, and he popped out of Jaks hands. It landed on the ground. It had sprouted, arms and legs and he had glowing green eyes. "Thanks for that.", said the little robot. "I was in a temporary shutdown mode. Hehehe! My name is Clank." He held out a tiny arm to shake Jaks hand.

Jak stood there, appalled that this tiny contraption turned in to a walking, talking, robot. He squated down to shake Clank`s hand with two fingers. But the name sounded too familiar. *clank.........clank. Ratchet mentioned that name. Oh yeah! It`s his friend!*

Oh! He found him! Ya!

EDIT: Wanna, see some of my Jak and Daxter art? There a topic in non-spyro. Plz check it out.

Jak asked "Are you looking for Ratchet?"

"Why yes.", replied Clank.

"Well, if you come with me, he`s right inside this building.", said Jak.

"I`ll help you get inside.", said Clank. His arm turned into a saw blade. He stuck it inbetween the two doors and sawed the lock in half. He pulled out his arm and it changed back to normal. "Glad to be of service."

Jak`s jaw hit the ground. "Your just a walking toolbox aren`t you?", said Jak.

Clank laughed. He opened the door to the jail. It was a single hall, with jail cells on each sides. Jak and Clank silently walked passed cell after cell, until they got to Ratchet`s.

"CLANK!!", yelled Ratchet. He ran to bars and snatched Clank through them. He hugged him really tightly.

Jak had a smile on his face. "You ready to get out of here you two?"

Ratchet and Clank shook their head. Just then, a roar echoed through the sky. Everyones eyes got really wide. The roars got louder until......

CRASH!!!! A giant red dragon crashed through the roof. It was Ignitus.

Jak was about to crap his pants. Ratchet and Clank was freed of the bars from crash. "HOLY ****!!!!" yelled Jak.

OMG IT IGNITUS!!!!!! Lol. Plz continue.

Ignitus raised his head and let loose some flames.

Ratchet grabbed Jaks hand and started to run. "Come on!", he yelled. All three of them ran back to Ratchet`s house. "We have to take the rift. It`s to dangerous here.", said Ratchet, out of breath. "But once we go in, we can`t go back. I don`t know where the rift will take us though."

Jak looked out the window. The rain was so thick, he couldn`t see anything. Until he saw a pair of big yellow eyes coming toward the house. It was Ignitus. Jak turned around and pushed Ratchet and Clank in his room. "It`s that dragon again. He`s gonna be here any minute now. We need to go!", explianed Jak. Ratchet and Clank nodded and went throught the rift. Jak went to Keira and snatched her necklace off. "I love you.", said Jak. He stared at her motionless face. He walked toward the portal and turned back around. "Goodbye Keira."

Just then, Ignitus`s red tail tore through the house and it took Keira with him. Jak turned around and went through rift.

chapter 5 is coming up tommorow. I have to revise it.

Whoa. Interesting...

And I thought Jak was a Hero? Not someone who would get scared spitless at a dragon, who might not be any different then Kor? Just a thought.

But good chapter.

Awesome so far!
I can imagine Jak being SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF at the fact that somone was being totured...Good thing they found Clank and Iggy came to save the day though So....Your leaving Keira dead?.....Thank You. Most authors don't have the guts to kill somone off and leave them dead.

Wow, thanks! I`m still revising the next chapter. Is everyone understanding it so far?

Yeah, I think I've got whats going on right now.

But agreeing with DFD, he wouldn't be scared....At least I don't think so....

Was ignitus after them, or rescuing them??

I don't think Iggy would be after them...But it would be interesting to see distrust on somones part. So far,no one has really questioned much

iggy was after them. it`s a dragon instinct to destroy things right? And chase after the first peice of meat it sees.

Ha! Iggy trying to kill them, i find that so unbealivable. But yet he's in a place that there not only dragons.:/ But GREAT CHAPTER BTW!

Ohhh so Iggy WAS after them.
Confused Doomy is confused

Chapter 5 (the last chapter!) Please enjoy it.

Jak, Ratchet and Clank appeared in the sky. Falling from very high up, Jak could see a bunch of green land with trees, and rivers that slithered across the land. *This is just like my dream!*, thought Jak. He looked around to see if Keira was around, but he was wrong. Ratchet came speeding down, using Clank as a jet pack. He grabbed Jak around the middle and said, "Don`t wanna die do you? You saved my life, now i think it`s right to return the favor." Clank turned into the copter pack and they all safely glided down to the land.

"Thanks!", said Jak. Ratchet walked up next to him.

"Where do you suppose this leads?", asked Ratchet.

Jak looked around. Nothing but trees, grass, and a waterfall. He looked up in the sky, there were two dragons coming toward them.

"Oh Heeeeeeellllllll no!!", emphasized Jak. He pulled out his shot gun. "I am not being killed by another dragon.", he cocked his gun.

Ratchet stood in front of the gun. "No.", he said. "They aren`t attacking us."

A purple dragon and a black dragon hit the ground and trottedvup to them. The purple dragon spoke. "I haven`t seen you creatures here before. My name is Spyro, and this is Cynder.", he motioned his head toward cynder. "There`s a village just a few minutes from here. Want to come and rest?"

Jak was freaked out. *A dragon..........Talking........And i heard every word it said?* What the fu-", he was cut off by ratchet.

"Sure! Got any food?", asked Ratchet.

Cynder nodded her head and said "Follow us."

Everyone approached the village that was just over the hill.

"Here we are!", said Spyro. Jak was amazed. There were huts everywhere, and the natives were cheetas. (Hunter's Tribe). Jak then laid his eyes on the little orange ottsel, trapped in a glowing wooden cage.

"DAXTER!", yelled Jak. He ran as fast as he could, pushing onlooking cheetas out of the way. Daxter wasn`t moving, but he was in a very deep sleep.

The last chap! WHY?! Only 5 chaps?! How could you! Great start though!

"Daxter! DAXTER!!!!!!", Jak cotinued to scream but he lay in the cage. Undisturbed. Ratchet walked behind Jak and put his hand on his shoulder. Jak turned around to look at him. "He`s the only family i have left.", said Jak. He picked up the cage and started to leave the village.

A cheetah stopped him. "Only the Chronicler can open the cage. But he has to sense a certain power in you. If you do not have it, the cage will not open.", the cheetah explained. "His tent is over there."
He pointed at an old black hut, strangley familiar to Jak`s house.

Jak looked at Ratchet. "Wanna give it a try?", asked Jak. " I have light and dark powers."

Ratchet, very quite, nodded and they set off to the hut.

When they entered, a very old, gray dragon sat in the hut. Surround by big pillows and stacks of books. Jak set the cafe in front of the dragon, and Ratchet and Jak sat on the pillows.

"Do you sense anything in me that can get my friend out of this?", asked Jak.

The chronicler shook his head and finally spoke. "I do not sense it it you, young man."

Jak`s heart hit the ground. How was going to get Daxter out?

"But i do sense it in you!", the chronicler jumped to his feet in excitement, and looked at Ratchet. "I sense the sacrificial power in you!"

Jak looked at Ratchet. Ratchet sat there, clueless. "Sacrificial?"

"Yes. To get this creature out of this cage, you must sacrifice your life to break him free, but once you sacrifice your life. It will resserect other innocent life that was lost.", explained the chronicler.

Jak looked at Ratchet with wide eyes. Was he really going to do it? *Did he get this power when he was in the prison?*

"Ratchet. You don`t have to do it.", said Jak. Ratchet looked at him. Thinking very hard.

"Are you ready to make the sacrifice?", asked the chronicler.

Ratchet didn`t say a word. They sat there for hours. Everyone looking at Ratchet.

Finally Ratchet spoke. "Jak, It`s been fun knowing you but....."

KEEP GOING THE SUSPENCE!!!!! Good part!

"Ratchet! No!", yelled Jak. "I won`t let you!"

Ratchet shot back at him. "It`s for your own good!. Look at me! I have my friend back, and i can always buildva rift to get back hone sonehow. But you have nothing. NOTHING JAK!", Ratchet was crying. "Don`t stop me."

It took a while for all this to sink in for Jak. All the bad stuff has always managed to end up on Jaks plate. He looked at the ground.

"I`m ready Chronicler.", said Ratchet.

Jak looked at him. "Ratchet."

"Goodbye Jak.", said Ratchet. He was smiling this time.

"Ok then. That`s the final answer.", said the chronicler. He picked up the cage and set ut in Ratchets lap.
"Now focus all your enery on that cage."

Ratchet put his hands on the cage and ckosed his eyes very tightly. He sat there for hours until he started to glow blue.

Jak just watched. Not believing the his friend was sacrificing his life for his friend. Ratchet started to glow brighter and brighter until the cage exploded. Ratchets eyes rolled to back of his head, and hit the ground in a crumpled mess.

One Year Later.

Jak and Daxter were on the beach of there home, sitting in the sand, watching the sunset go down.

"Hey Jak?", asked Daxter.

Jak looked at him. It was great to have him back. But it is also reminding him of his friend Ratchet.

"When are we gonna eat! I`m starvin`! Orange Lightning`s gotta eat to build muslces. Then i can get a girl!", Daxter started to flex his muscles.

"I dunno Dax.", said Jak. He pulled out keira`s necklace to look at it one more time before going to get some food. "Alright Dax, let`s go." He was stopped suddenly by a female voice calling his name.

"Jak?"

He looked around, a sure enough, Keira was walking down the beach side. The wind blowing her hair. *that`s what ratchets life ressurected!* though Jak.

"Keira!" ,said Jak.

He ran to Keira and kissed her. She had kissed back. When they finally broke apart, they heard it from Daxter.

"Did you two finally come up for air?!", said Daxter. "You two need to get a room.", he threw his arms up and walked back up to the hut, his tail leaving a trail in the sand.

Jak looked back at Keira. "I love you Keira."

"I love you too Jak.", replied Kiera, and he kissed him.

They both made out on the beach, very happy to be together. As the sunset went down, they never made it up to the house. Maybe they were gazing at the stars.

THE END

OMG! GREAT STORY!
But 'maybe they were gazing at the stars' WERE THEY OR WERE THEY NOT!?

I feel sorry for Ratchet though.

But why did you make it only five chaps? Are you going to make a sequl?

i only made them gaze at the stars cuz i wanted to keep tge story PG. But in my original story, before i revised it, there was a LOT of cursing, and a sexualy explicit scene at the end. So yeah, they pretty much had sex on the beach.

I only made five chapters because they were REALLY REALLY LONG.

I don`t know if i make a sequel. You can make a sequel if you want.

too short. You really could have elaborated your know. seriously.

But I liked it...
Jak's a naughty boy (refering to the little romance on the beach, lol)

maybe if you do make a sequel, you could have a little rivalry between Keira and Ash? lol

Could've gone alot farther......So yeah....that was really short.

And Keira didn't stay dead.. Im a bit dissapointed. But it was good..

Well, i was quit happy that she lived. (I know you dont like Keira, but thats my opion)

i know it was short. You don't gotta mention it again. Once again, i pulled the whole story out of my ass. I would think of an idea, write it down, form the chapter together, revise it, and post it. A chapter a day pretty much.

Quite good for something thrown together, I'd say.

Sorry, sorry...

thanx for backin me up dfd!