darkSpyro

In the beginning, there was just a Fan Fiction section on a Skylanders fan website that had an adequate number of followers.
BOOM
A flash of creativity.
There was something new.
A story, unlike any other.
Shelves was born.
Many months went by, the story gained a substantial amount of fans. A year went by, then a 100 chapters.
All of the sudden, it vanished.

Now, in the midst of darkness (or boredom, there aren't many stories around these days) Shelves has been reborn.


Shelves features a rotating list of members, a lazy Susan (Trademark) of characters, if you will. Throughout the story, you'll see characters come and go, live and die, and occasionally, piss themselves.

Dan - starts his seemingly meaningless life as a pilot, gets injured, then rescued. He's the new guy in school that you really want to help out, but you don't want to end up starting a conversation with because you really don't need that teenage drama in your life. He's a nice guy, who has to learn his new surroundings. Wears a regular pilot uniform, brown hair and eyes.
Torlock - (to the theme of the Pillow Pet (another Trademark. Damn, I'm gonna get sued.) commercial) It's a Warlock, It's a Turtle, It's Torlock! A mentally insane turtle dressed as a goddamn wizard, who believes he has magical abilities. Wears a purple robe with a giant yellow star in the middle, along with a purple hat.
Patches - kicked out of her warrior tribe, and left to fend for herself, Patches is the jaguar warrior that feminists will lose their **** for. She's strong, deadly, threatening, brutal, scary and she is NOT a lady, but rather a female death machine. Wears a green leaf-like vest, with a leaf-ish skirt, and wields that sharpest spear in the whole store.
Globber - Have you ever accidentally entered a conversation you wished you never started? Do you know what its like living with seventeen preschoolers who have severe brain damage? Well, if you understand any of what I just said, you'll be glad to meet Globber. He's stupid and non-essential in any and every situation that he takes part in. He's just a glob of light-blue Play-Doh!, so let your imaginative juices think of more details for him.
Cupcake - the most militant and malicious pastry in history. If you like violence, you love Cupcake! He starts off as a hunter of rare toys, and then suddenly gets a family to take care of. (It's almost like getting pregnant in high school.) He's strong, brave and handsome, if you are sexually attracted to desserts. He'll do whatever it take to keep his new friends safe, so he's not that bad of a guy.

---

Shelves is a tale of survival, friendship, struggles, emotional challenges, mental challenges, war, peace, life, death, expensive high-quality foods, wizardry, wonder, amazement, Satanism, beards, sumo-wrestling, and finally, how to be human when you are certainly not human.

Watch as the story takes drastic and sometimes desperate turns, high-stakes and laughter, with the occasional seasoning of depression.
Things will grow darker as the series goes on, because I'm one messed up son of a b****.

Keep in mind that this is not the old Shelves, this is more mature, but I encourage you to read it to your children and younger siblings for bedtime stories, because I really need a steady amount of readers. (As you can see, nobody reads stories on dS anymore.)

EDIT: What I'm really trying to do with Shelves is try to bring it to a bigger audience, and focus on views that you wouldn't see in Toy Story or a franchise along those lines. Writing is my passion, and I am tired of only a small number of people reading it. I am going to start posting on Quotev, just so I can get some more views. Don't worry, I'll still post the chapters here, as long as people read them. Thanks!

Thanks for reading! Subscribe, comment, tell your friends and those emo kids you stay away from! Thanks again! Thank you! You are great! I mean it! Thanks! (OH MY GOD end this outro already!) Thanks, bye!

It’s a beautiful day outside. The birds, singing. The sky, blue. The children, getting beat up by the local gang. Ah. A beautiful day, it is. Too bad we can’t see it.

We start our adventure in the back of a truck. I know, I know. It sounds super exciting. But hey, look here. This truck is special. It’s a shipment truck, carrying all kinds of stuff, like…socks. Eh? Socks are interesting, right? I’m sorry, I’m not good with the younger crowds. The wife left me for a younger man, the kids are grown up and out of the house. And the balding, the crippling debt, it’s just too much.
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have opened up like that. I don’t get too many people to listen to me. Where were we? Something about socks… oh, yes! I remember. This is a special shipment, and not just because of socks. There are toys in this truck, special ones, at that. They can talk and dance and sing and kill each other in bloody battles. These toys…they live.

In the shipment truck, with a new narrator. The other one was too...mopey.

A box sits in the corner of the truck. Inside, a package with two fighter pilots is slowly being opened by the toys inside of it. “Jake!” yells one. His name is Dan. You’ll be seeing a lot of him. He may seem like quite a whiner, but you just need to know him. “Jake! I’m stuck!” Dan yells. His partner is easily sliding out of the package, and doesn’t acknowledge his friend’s cry for help. “I can’t move; help me!” Oh. My. God. Dan, stop being a little nard and free yourself, damn it. “C’mon Dan, it’s not hard. I did it in under three minutes, I’m sure you could find a way to get out without me.” Jake says to his struggling comrade. Jake’s a total asshole, can’t you tell? Sure, Dan needs to do it himself. But he obviously can’t, so just help him already. Come on!

The truck arrives at its destination, the boxes are thrown onto the ground by disgruntled employees, Dan is missing his legs, yadda yadda. Oh, you’re worried about the Dan thing? Yeah, that’s understandable. “HELP!” Dan cries. Unfortunately, there’s no one to hear him. Jake is long gone, ran away as soon as the truck pulled in. Shifty bastard. “SOMEBODY HELP PLEASE!” Dan cries even more. And now he’s crawling. Damnit kid, you’re gonna get yourself killed out there. This store isn’t a place for crippled toys to crawl around by themselves. “Hey you! The one with the leg problem!” a voice yells. He sounds like nard, just like Dan. Great, they can hang out and get killed together. “Where are you?” Dan yells. “Up here, on the box.” yells the voice. “Which box? There’s like thirty of them!” Dan whines. “Never mind, I’ll come to you. I don’t think you’ll be able to walk anyway.” *narrator laughs uncontrollably* HA HA! It’s a turtle, in a wizard suit! Oh, this is great. I’m really glad I got to take this job. “What are you supposed to be?” Dan asks, and chuckles a little. “I’m Torlock. I’m a turtle, and a warlock. It’s a pretty cool gig,” says the hysterically-dressed turtle. “I’m sure it is,” Dan says, “Can you help me?” The turtle makes some strange noises, and reattaches the legs, which were laying on the ground. “BIPITY BOBITY PUDDIN’ POPITY!” he yells. Dan stands up, and looks really surprised. “Oh, wow. Uh, thanks,” he says, not thinking that Torlock’s trick would actually work. “No problem, mortal being. With my magic, I can save anyone, anywhere,” Torlock claims. The two chat a little, and eventually make their way to a hut, which is located by the book section.

“What are those people doing on the front of that book?” Dan asks, as he notices Torlock’s hut is made with erotic novels. “They’re wrestling. I’m sure they’re really good at it,” Torlock answers. (You should be thankful that we can’t get too inappropriate for this story.) “So, how long have you been here, Torlock?” Dan asks. He’s still staring at the book. I think he knows they aren’t wrestling. “Three months, in human time. Well, I guess just regular time. We don’t have a specific calendar around here. But yeah, three months. I arrived at the store in early November, and it has actually been a miserable experience. I watch people get killed all the time around here,” Torlock states, staring bluntly at the wall, looking like he’s seen horrible things. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, but now I’m really concerned that we can’t live here,” Dan says, sarcastically. After the whole leg thing, he knows it really isn’t the best place to be. “Eh, don’t worry. I haven’t died, and I’m sure I can last another week or so. And if you decide to stay, we can both survive for like nine days!” Torlock exclaimed. “I guess I have nowhere to go-“ “Great! We’ll have to get you a bed, but we can share if we have to. This’ll be awesome! Two buds, living together in a hut made with wrestling magazines. I can teach you magic and sorcery and maybe some necromancy and all kinds of other stuff!” Torlock rudely interrupted Dan. “Oh, uh, ok. Yeah, that’ll be great…” Dan regrets saying anything, as living with Torlock wasn’t his idea. “Well, we won’t fit in the same bed, so we’ll have to get one for you. And by “we”, I mean you. It’s too dangerous out there, even for a warlock.”

An hour or two later

Dan has been searching for a bed for a while now. So far, he hasn’t seen a single murder, let alone another toy. “Stupid turtle, this place isn’t bad at all.” He’s managed to travel through all of the clothes sections, and some of the baby products. “YE-AAAHH!” a voice in the distance cries. Instead of running away, Dan runs towards the yelp. He stops, skids across the floor, and notices a cat-like creature being chased by a young, human boy. “Stay back you beast! I’ll kill you!” the cat yells. She throws her weapon, a spear, and it hits and bounces off the boy. He stops, looks confused, and then slowly walks away. A look of terror emerges on his face. “Hey, lady!” Dan yells. The cat turns around, with a grim stare. “I am not a lady, I AM A WARRIOR!” She charges at Dan, who is now running. Since he’s a just a pilot with damaged legs, and she’s a goddamn cat-tiger-jaguar, he can’t outrun her. The cat pounces on him, and knocks him down. “Whoa there, I don’t mean any harm. I was just trying to help you,” Dan says, before she strikes him. “I don’t need your help. I can defend myself,” she says. “I can see that, especially with the way you handled that horribly dangerous child,” Dan says with a hint of sarcasm. The girl looks at him with a cold stare. “Who are you, and what the hell were you thinking, running towards a cry for help?” she says, helping him up. “I’m Dan. I’ve been here for approximately three hours, and I lost my legs but a turtle helped me get them back and now we’re roommates and he sent me to find a bed. I heard a plea for help, and I knew someone needed to give it.” Dan noticed how odd the last three hours have been. “A turtle helped you find your legs. Ok. That makes lots of sense. Anyway, Dan, that was brave of you, especially for a new guy. I’m Patches,” she says, with a semi-smile. “Thanks,” Dan smiles back, “What’s your story?” Patches runs and grabs her spear, and then answers Dan’s question. “I’m a warrior, from a tribe around the front of the store. They kicked me out. I was ‘too weak’. Now I’m looking for somewhere to stay,” Patches says. “Well, you can stay with me and the turtle. He’s weird, but he’s passive,” Dan offers. “Yeah, I guess that’ll work,” Patches says. The two start walking back, and Dan stops. “Wait, why in the living hell would we need a bed?”

End

Had a really great time writing the first chapter. Brings back lots of memories. If you guys like, I could do some more…
-Luke

I love this as much as the original. And....Oh my the comedy in this version is so much better than before. Wait....did you mention....turtles?

Seriously I love the way you mention that a new narrator takes over.

9/10

I missed your writing.

Just out of curiosity, are these all gonna be OCs? Or are there gonna be some actual toys in there, like Megatron or ****ing Mario or something?

Oh thank God you guys liked it. I was getting a little worried as I finished it up.

To Medicus, yes. I mentioned turtles...be prepared for more...
To 84, these won't all be OC's. I'm planning on adding some actual toys in there, eventually. I have some characters in mind that are from different franchises.

Thanks for reading guys! I don't know when the next will be posted, I'll have to work up a calendar or something.

We should get a new turtle club

We should, shouldn't we?

the turtle club was clearly the most important part of shelves 1

I only wrote Shelves because of my secret passion for turtles #confessions #hashtag

You wanna make a deal? Of course you do.

If you guys can manage to get another reader, I'll post the next chapter, right here, right now.

*shoots starting pistol*

Good luck, may the odds be ever in your favor....

I'm not sure how to spread this without it being advertising and thus against the rules of DankSpyro.

Rules are for squares, bro. Anyway, here's the second chapter!



“Another tip: Don’t go near the toy aisles. It’s a madhouse over there,” said Patches. She and Dan have made a nice little trek throughout the store, and they are fairly close to Torlock’s hut. “What exactly goes on over there?” asked Dan. Patches has been giving Dan advice on how to survive in different areas of the store. “Anything from sacrifices to gladiator deathmatches to slave trades, along with horrible improv sessions. Improv isn’t even a real comedy,” Patches said. The pair arrives at the hut. “Hey, buddy! Who’s the girl?” Torlock asked, running out of his hut. Patches started laughing. “This is great! He’s turtle in a wizard robe. Ha!” she exclaimed. “I’m a professional, m’am. You don’t want to mess with my power,” Torlock said, with an angry look, “Why did you bring her here?” Dan also starts to laugh. “She needed a place to stay. Her old friends kicked her out, and I thought we could help her,” Dan says. “Then she’s sleeping in your bed. *pause* Wait, you didn’t get a bed! Now we all have to share!” Torlock says. “You’re not serious, right? We don’t need to sleep. Hehe. I can’t take you seriously with that costume,” Patches says, and then throws herself into another fit of laughter. “We’ll be fine, Torlock. We don’t need beds,” Dan reassures his roommate. “That explains why I just sit in my bed and stare at the ceiling for twelve hours. Now what am I going to do with all this time?” Torlock ponders. Suddenly, loud music plays. “Oh no, the store is closing. We need to get inside, NOW!” Torlock yells with worry in his voice. “He’s right, we need to get in the hut. People we don’t want to mess with will be out any second,” Patches affirms. The three run into the hut, which was noticeably made for one person, not three.

Later

“Move it, move it! C’mon, move faster, or I’LL KILL YOU!” a deep and grainy voice says. Outside of the hut, a proportionately large ogre is riding on a sled pulled by toys. “What the hell is happening out there?” Dan asks. “It’s one of the slave traders. He’s trying to get his ‘products’ over to an outpost,” Patches says. Dan slowly moves towards the door, and Torlock pulls him back. “You can’t go out there! You’ll get killed!” he whisper-yells. Dan knocks his arm off, and runs out the door. “Hey, big guy!” Dan yells. The ogre, who is about ten feet past the hut, turns around. “Hey, little guy! You wanna join these freaks and help pull my sled?” The ogre laughs. Patches runs out of the hut. “Dan, get inside! He’ll murder you!” she yells. “I won’t murder him, lady. I’ll make him my pet,” The ogre says, as he gets off his sled. He walks towards the pair. “Poor guy. You made the biggest mistake you’ll ever get to make. But don’t worry, we all make that mistake. Just watch out, she’s not particularly a lady,” Dan says, looking behind him. He smiles at Patches, who is tuning into attack mode. “I AM A WARRIOR!” Patches runs and lunges onto the ogre, taking her spear and stabbing it through his chest. She then viciously claws his body apart, as he screams and yells for help. After a minute, he goes silent. “Perfect.” Patches looks up, and makes eye contact with one of the slaves. “R-r-run!” it yells, and most of them scatter, because she doesn’t look like the person they’d want to hang around with. But one of them stayed behind: A blob of blue Play-Doh. “I’m Globber,” says the blob, in a bubbly and dimwitted voice. “Hi, Globber, I’m Dan,” Dan says, greeting the creature. Globber blinks and looks very confused. It doesn’t seem like he has people skills. He repeats himself, “Hi, Dan, I’m Globber.” Patches rolls her eyes. “What did he do to you?” asked Dan. He notices lots of scars and slashes on his body. “Ogre did nothing, I made myself look dangerous. But it is okey-dokey, I’m made of Play-Doh,” Globber says. He takes off a chunk of himself, and rubs it over the gashes. Torlock rushes out of the hut, thinking he would see the dead bodies of Patches and Dan. But he looked rather surprised to see Globber standing with them.“Holy McNuggets, its Globber!” Torlock yells, and he runs over to the blob. “Hello Torlock,” he pauses, “I’m Globber,” he says, looking a bit confused. “Oh, great, they know each other,” Patches says. She doesn’t really want another weirdo hanging around them.

“So you see, Globber and I were once slaves to this giant teddy bear, but he died and the killer freed us. Next thing I know, Globber willingly goes to another slaver and joins them, in return for a belly rubbing,” Torlock says. “That was my fourth owner in three days. I’ve been officially purposely captured eleventeen times,” Globber says, very happily, like it is a giant achievement. “That’s great, Globber,” Dan says. He doesn’t really know how to respond to that level of stupidity. The four toys have been outside the hut for about fifteen minutes. Patches and Dan have been getting more books to make the hut bigger, but they haven’t made any advances. “How the hell did he manage to build the damn thing?” Patches says. “He obviously built it with his magic,” Dan jokes. “Dan is right, I used my magic. Sadly I cannot use my building magic again. It hurts me too much,” Torlock says nervously. “I thought you told me that you found this place after Teddy died,” Globber says, confusedly. Torlock stutters, trying to make up an excuse. “I…found it…with my magic?” he says, like he’s questioning himself. “Globber, why don’t you make yourself useful and go see if the ogre had any weapons on him. We could use some more, okay?” Patches orders. “Okey-dokey,” Globber says bubbly. He doesn’t walk, but does this weird shuffle/roll/slide maneuver, which is surprisingly effective. As he manages to get to the shredded body, a voice from the top of a shelf nearby says, “Target locked. I have found the white whale. Repeat, white whale spotted.” Globber looks up to where the voice is coming from. “I’m not a white whale. I’m Globber.”

End

For those of you who remember Dino, Zoo and Zap, well, they’ve been combined and reshaped to form *majestic heavenly music plays* Globber, a glob of Play-Doh with the mentality of a two-year old. Right now, we have four “main cast” members, and the next two chapters will introduce the other two main players. Just like the old Shelves, new characters will appear and old characters could *gasp* die at any given point. This time around, I plan on spreading out the deaths, because that caused lots of confusion last time.

-Luke

Ayyyyyyy it's back

Dude you should make Globber just like an invincible character

Oh, don't worry, Globber's going to get a lot more....battle ready? Yeah. Battle ready, throughout the duration of the story.

I can't wait for you guys to read Chapters Four and Five....

“Target locked. I have found the white whale. Repeat, white whale spotted.” Globber looks up to where the voice is coming from. “I’m not a white whale. I’m Globber,” he says. “This one’s an idiot, bawss,” says another voice, with a hint of southern tang. “That means killing him with put him out of his misery,” says the first voice, a menacing and commanding tone. He fires his weapons, a blowgun, and a dart lands in Globber’s left eye. “Hehee, it tickles. Do it again please,” Globber giddily says. Patches runs towards Globber. “I let you out of my sight for ten seconds and you manage to almost get yourself killed,” she says, with annoyance. “Don’t worry, the bad man only tickled my eyeball,” Globber says. He looks up to the voices. “Do! It! Again!” Patches pulls him aside, while Dan and Torlock arrive. “What happened? Why is there a dart in Globber’s eye?” Dan asks. Torlock examines the wound. “Don’t worry, I’ll fix it with my magic,” he says. He grabs the dart, pauses, and then gently pulls it out. “Magical,” Globber says in amazement. “Hey bawss, do you think we can get extra moneys for killing them all?” asks the southern voice. “There is no honor in killing just for the sake of killing. We take the blue one, and scram. Leave the other ones to die from looters or crippling financial debt which only ends in a self-inflicted torture fest,” says the first voice. He shoots another dart, and another, and about five more. Globber laughs uncontrollably. “Damn, he’s stronger than I thought.” “Don’t worry bawss, I’ll run down and kill him myself!” the southern voice explains. “No, you’ll just get yourself killed. Instead, I’ll get you killed sooner,” the first voice says, and pauses, “You have lived a pretty ****ty life, Russel. Goodbye, lad.” [camera zooms in to see a frosted pastry and a boy on the top shelf, then the cupcake pushes the boy off the edge of the shelf] “Go **** yourself Cupcaaaaaaaake!” yells the boy, as he freefalls about six feet. His body lands inches away from Globber, who starts to clap. “Bravo, bravo! Encore!”

“Is that a cupcake? Does he have a gun? Damn. First a wizard turtle, now a cupcake. I’m really liking this section of the store,” Patches says happily. “Hello down there! I am Cupcake: A ruthless and tactical pastry. I am coming down, you better not hurt me, or…else,” taunts the dessert. He jumps down the shelves, one by one, and makes his way over to the group. “Did you just kill that boy?” asked Dan, backing away. “I did what needed to be done. He wasn’t the best hunting partner, and he sure as hell wasn’t worth keeping alive,” says Cupcake. He reaches his hand out to shake Dan’s. “You must be in charge,” Cupcake said. “Him? No way. I am in charge. The all and mighty dun dun dun-dun TORLOCK!!!” Torlock pushes Dan aside, and Cupcake retracts his hand. “No, I’m pretty sure that the guy is in charge. His name is Pete, right?” Globber says, but nobody listens. “Regardless of who’s in charge, I could use a new protégé. Someone who can scout, spell, kill and likes to knit clothes. I love a good sense of fashion,” Cupcake says. He still has his eye on Globber. “I don’t think any of us should join you. I mean, you wanted to kidnap Globber and put him with your trophies or something,” says Patches, moving in front of Globber. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt him. I can see that he’s your friend. Also, it doesn’t look like I can do any harm to him, so he’s yours to keep,” Cupcake says, with a frown. He was really hoping to hang Globber’s gooey body on his wall. “I will be your brotaje! I’d love to learn how to kill innocent and unsuspecting toys!” Globber says happily, completely messing up the word “protégé”. “Then it is settled. The blubbery fool is my new protégé. Come on, Globber, we have lots of work to be done,” Cupcake said. He departs from the group, and Globber follows him. “You can take Torlock too!” Patches yells, forgetting that the turtle is right behind him.

About three minutes pass. Cupcake and Globber have turned around, and are heading back to the group. “Why are you back?” Dan asks, disappointed that Globber has returned. “I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough to deal with him. He’s yours,” Cupcake groans. “Yay, Globber is back! We’ve missed you so much!” Torlock yells happily. “Hi, I’m Globber,” Globber says, reintroducing himself, as if he’s been gone for years. “You, kid, what’s your name? Pete or Jerry or something along those lines, right?” Cupcake asks. “Dan, I’m Dan,” answers Dan. “Okay, Dan, you’re coming with me. And the girl. I bet she can knit my clothes,” says Cupcake, making a horrible gender stereotype. Patches claws him in the face. “Well, even if she can’t knit, she strong as hell. You’re coming with us, princess. I mean, we wouldn’t want to leave you with those two,” Cupcake says, watching Torlock and Globber play patty-cake. “You know what, I’ll go with you,” Patches says. She’s watching the most pathetic game of patty-cake in history, so she has no other option. “I think I’ll join you, as well, Cupcake. Where exactly are we headed?” Dan asks. “We’ll be heading to the electronic section. It’s not too far from here,” said Cupcake. “Great. Let’s go before they see us...” Dan says. The three slowly drift away from the other two, and then start to run. “This is really, really exciting! What are we going to do once we get to your place?” Dan says giddily. “We’ll get you a better set of clothes, a nice weapon or two. Maybe six. I have lots of weapons. And then we’ll head on over to the toy section and play bounty hunter for a while,” Cupcake says. This is the first time he’s been excited in a while. “Sounds like a plan!” Patches says, being happy that they’re away from Torlock and Globber.

The three arrive at Cupcake’s manor. Cupcake opens the door, only to find Torlock and Globber playing patty-cake on his rug. “How the **** did you get here?” he yells. They stop playing, and Torlock looks him straight in the eyes. “Magic.”

End

Congratulations, you’ve received the privilege to meet everybody’s favorite militant frosted treat, Cupcake. He’s cold, he’s ruthless, he’s deadly and he has a great sense of fashion.
Also, I’m convinced that Torlock is a real warlock.

-Luke

Plot twist: Torlock is the strongest character

To the electronics section, hmm? Are going to get a... A cameo, so to speak?

Figured that with my conquering of this land, I should stop by and see my new subjects.

And this is some great stuff for sure! Cameos from real-world toys would be awesome not gonna lie, but the story is definitely strong enough to stand on its own.

Looking forward to the next part!

Dan and Company have spent the past three days residing in Cupcake’s “house” (a Barbie Dream House with an annex. All of it is painted a sad, grey color), which is more like a concentration camp than a home. Torlock and Globber were locked in the Fun Room, which had lessons on water-boarding a small child, efficient ways to kill toys and humans, and a box of crayons. Like that makes it any better. As Cupcake promised, Dan had been given a weapon and new clothes: A leather jacket (for intimidation) and a sharpened steak knife. “You’re giving him a steak knife? What about a gun? You have dozens of them laying around,” Patches says. She hasn’t received anything new during her time in Cupcake Manor, and she’s actually pretty jealous. “He can’t shoot worth a damn. We tried everything, including the hand-cannon, and he missed. The kid accidently hit a bystander,” Cupcake said. “Holy **** you killed your first person? That’s awesome!” Patches said, excitedly. “No, not awesome. It was horrible. Lucky for me, they were on the brink of suicide or something, so it was okay,” Dan said, like that makes it any better. “Don’t worry, kid. The first time’s the worst. After you kill about twenty, it gets easy from there,” Cupcake tries to reassure Dan. A sad silence fills the room. To break the mood, Patches asks a question. “When’s our first mission, Assault Muffin?” she teases. It’s been pretty boring (that’s why I skipped through the first three days…). “Actually, I have a friend out past the clothing departments, who said he could use some help with looters in the area. I figured we could go out there and kill them-“ “YES YES THANK JESUS YES WE FINALLY GET TO DO SOMETHING!” Patches cuts off Cupcake, and runs towards her quarters, to grab her weapons. Dan, who really doesn’t feel too awful dandy about murdering more people says, “Well, looks like we’ll need someone to watch over Torlock and Globber. I mean, uh, we don’t want them to get in the way…” Cupcake smacks him in the jaw. “Damn it, kid. I know you’re afraid of killing them sons of beanbags, but we need you out there. Plus, it sure as hell isn’t going to get any easier if you hide from ‘em. That’s why there are so many bandit groups running around, killing our loved ones, destroying your home, *pause* shagging your wife,” Cupcake says, as he has an intense, war-filled flashback. He tried to cry, but he has no tear glands, and that made him sadder. As he sat in the corner of the room, cradling himself, Dan slowly backed out.

Dan reluctantly agreed to go with Cupcake and Patches, and Globber and Torlock wanted to go. “Come on muffin man you have to let us go,” Globber begs. “I promise we won’t ruin your plans,” Torlock pleads. “No way in hell I’m letting you two come with us. You’ll get distracted and end up dead or wishing you were,” Cupcake said, pushing the two numbskulls out of his way. The trio of warmongers had been loading up Cupcake’s van, which was made out of Lego’s. “Who made this thing? It’s amazing!” If Dan could, he’d be slobbering all over the vehicle. “A trusted comrade who will be introduced when it’s necessary for the plot. You and the readers will probably see him soon,” said Cupcake, breaking the fourth wall. (They’re getting smarter; first they make weapons, now they know they’re just pawns in a game I created. I assume they’ll be trying to kill me next.) “I’m not even going to ask about what you mean by ‘readers’, but okay. I can’t wait to meet him,” Dan says, with a confuzzled look on his face. Cupcake completely ignores Dan’s words, and carries on loading up his truck. “Ok, champs, time to roll out. The store will be closed before we get there at this pace, and I really don’t want to waste all my ammo on another slaver. Get in!” he commands. Dan and Patches crawl onto the truck, while Globber and Torlock look out the window, like puppies watching their owner leave for work, while they never expect them to return. “Globber, we have to go with them. They can’t possibly survive this mission without us,” Torlock says, as the truck pulls out and drives down the main walkway. “Don’t worry, I know just what to do!” says Globber, very optimistically. He opens the door and quickly runs in front of the house. He starts screaming, as he bends his body into the shape of a tricycle. “Holy crapnuggets this is painful. Why would anyone do this? Oh my god I think I’m stuck!” Globber struggles to get himself back into his regular shape, and then ultimately gives up after five seconds of trying. Torlock walks outside. “Globber, you’re a genius! If we ride your tricycle body fast, we can catch up to the truck!” Torlock yells, hopping onto Globber’s beautiful vehicle transformation. “Hi-ho Silver!” yells the turtle. “I’m not Silver, I’m Globber.” says the blue blob of wonder, as his wheels turn so slowly that it doesn’t even look like they’re moving.

While the wizard- er, warlock, and the tricycle try to ride off into the sunset, the trio of actual usefulness makes their way to a plantation past the clothing. “Damn, this place is huge! What exactly does your friend do here?” Patches asks in amazement. “This place is a farm. They grow some hippy-dippy leaves that they sell to humans for lots of money. Humans are just a bunch of jackoffs. They pay hundreds of dollars for what they can find in the forest,” Cupcake explains. He pulls the truck into a garage-like tent, and a bear walks up to the vehicle. “Praise Jesus, you’re here. Cletus has been waiting for you guys for a while know. Will these two be able to help with the problem?” asks the bear. He sounds horribly insincere, just like our favorite militant pastry. “Nice to see you, too, Grizz. Thanks for the warm welcome,” Cupcake says sarcastically, “These two are the best of my team, they’ll do just fine with whatever bandits are in the area.” The three get out of the truck, and Grizzly leads them inside another tent. A G.I. Joe with red hair and battle scars o’plenty sits in a chair, while a sloppy looking Barbie sits in another. “Cerpcake! Yaw ******* made it, you little ****!” said the Joe. That’s Cletus: A professional “magic leaf” grower with an addition to fighting, swearing, synthetic heroin, and My Little Pony. “It’s good to see you Cletus. What can we help you with?” asks Cupcake. “Them’s damn green guys stealing my goddamn mother*******houseplants. I need yaw and yaw damn frands to go kill them’s sons of b*tches,” says Cletus. “I think we should stab him and just put him out of his misery. Clearly he can’t speak,” Patches whisper’s to Dan. “Hey, I heard that! She threatened your life, Cletus!” the Barbie yells. “Barb, you don’t have to do that,” says Grizzly. But Barb doesn’t listen, because that shows that she’s one crazy sleezbag, so it’s necessary for plot and character development. She pulls out a steak knife from behind her chair, and charges at Patches, while the jaguar flips her over and puts the knife to her head.

Oh ****, something bad is going on with Globber and Torlock. Screw the intense action, let’s cut to the idiots while they make a mistake!


Well hey, look at that. I was waaaay over the character limit. I'll post the rest below. Just pretend there's a commercial about sex toys or something. It won't help, but it'll make things interesting....

Torlock and Globber, who has managed to still be stuck in tricycle form, are hiding inside the Fun Room, because they heard a noise coming from the other side of the aisle. “Come on, use your magic, buddy. We can kill the creepy crawly scary thingy before OW OW OW OH MAN I’M GETTING A CRAMP IN THE BACK LEFT WHEEL.” Globber screams. Torlock doesn’t know whether be surprised by the cramp, or be surprised that Globber knows what left and right means. They hear the front door open. “Damnit Globber! The monster heard us! Be quiet!” Torlock yells, louder than Globber did. The two try to listen for movement in the house, but don’t hear a thing. After a few moments, they hear a loud crash. “****!” a charming voice yells. Slowly, the Fun Room door opens. “Sorry about the noise from the other side of the aisle, I was busy murdering someone. Also, sorry about the mess I made in your armory. Lots of weapons to choose from, too bad I couldn’t fit them all in my bag. I was really happy to find loot here, but I’m even happier to find out that this package comes with hostages.” A smiling skunk stands in the doorway.

End

DUN DUN DUN what is a skunk doing there?
-Luke

Is it bad that I think of Patches's appearance as that of Tuff Luck?

This just keeps getting better and better.

Quote: 84skylanderdude

Is it bad that I think of Patches's appearance as that of Tuff Luck?

Well, Patches has gone through many different iterations. At first, I had her act more like Jade from the original series. She was a regular cat, the moral compass of the team, and had a laser pointer as a weapon, because cats love that ****. Over time, I realized that I never had a truly tough and rough female character in the original. Eventually, I made Patches who she is now, with inspiration from one of the final Skylanders I ever bought: Tuff Luck. So no, it's great you think of Patches's appearance as of TL, because that's what I was aiming for.

---

Thanks, kardonis!

I'm off school today, as we had *gasp* snow! Mother Nature gave us really warm weather over the weekend, and now gave us snow. Dick move, Mother Nature. Dick move.

Snow day here too! Yay!

Damn, home again. ****ing Mother Nature.

Anyway, I'm going to ask you guys to ask questions about the story for me to answer. I think that might get my writing-juices flowing, as I've only written one chapter this week and I would like to have more work being done.

With that said, please, ask away!

Does this take place in the same universe as the original Shelves? If not, does it have the same physics like with the life code and stuff?

Is there a chance we could get cameos from actual toys?

Quote: 84skylanderdude

Does this take place in the same universe as the original Shelves? If not, does it have the same physics like with the life code and stuff?

To be honest, I haven't decided if this Shelves takes place in the original Shelves' world. Even if it does or doesn't, there will be no mention of the life code, because I really regret that, and felt that it was cliché. Plus, I feel like some parts of the story are better if left unexplained.
Quote: kardonis

Is there a chance we could get cameos from actual toys?

Hell yeah we'll get cameos! Wait for Chapter Six, you'll meet a toy from an actual franchise. Actually, you'll meet two...

.......Is this done again?

I hope not. Uttster, you there?

Uttster? Damnit! Just as I come back, he's gone again!

Hi guys. I know it's been a while. Is uts still around?

Don't worry guys, he's probably just caught up in school atm.

Hey losers, I'm back. School work went bat**** on me, but it is totes kewl right now.

The story will continue, and if you don't read it, I might just burn down a hospital. Or something equally dangerous and upsetting.

When we left off, our friends Dan, Patches and Cupcake were in the middle of a pathetic throwdown with Barb, while they had a class field trip on a weed farm. While that was going on, our resident idiots were in the middle of a kidnapping by a rodent. Let’s begin.

A smiling skunk stands in the doorway. “You smell terrible,” Globber says the first thing on his mind. “Most people would think the smell comes from me being a skunk, but I actually just got back from hiding dead bodies in raw meat. That’ll be a splendid surprise for an unsuspecting family,” the skunk says. “Oh look, let’s make some meatballs. AHH AHHH AHHHH THERE’S A ****ING TOY IN MY MEAT I DIDN’T KNOW THEY HAD HAPPY MEALS IN THIS ****!” he screams in a granny-like voice, “I wish I’d be there to see it, sigh.” He grabs one of the chairs, and sits down. He looks at Torlock. “You’re a special kind of special, huh?” he jokes. “I’m a warlock, you slut,” Torlock says nastily. He really doesn’t like this new acquaintance. “Oh, buddy, buddy, buddy. That’s improper use of the word. A slut is someone who…never mind that. I don’t think your putty pal here would like what I was going to say,” says the skunk, smarmily. “I’m Globber,” says Globber, introducing himself. “Well hey there Globber. I’m Skunk, and I really enjoy ripping people apart, making them scream and plead for mercy, right in front of their friends. Eh, why do you look like a tricycle?” asks Skunk. “Our friends left to go help someone but they told us not to go but we wanted to go and then I painfully transformed my luscious body into a piece of garbage and then you came and now we are talking,” says Globber, in a hurried and childish manner. “I guess speaking more than five words at a time isn’t your thing. Do you actually know proper English? Ah, never mind that. Let’s talk about your friends. Are they dangerous? Will they be upset if I take you to my lair and chain you to the wall? Are they good people, hell, are they great people? I mean, most people who dress up and play hero aren’t very threatening, but from what I can infer just by looking around this ****hole, these guys are good with weapons,” Skunk says, in a dastardly, retched tone. He’s watching Torlock twitch. “What’s wrong, Harry Potter?” he teases. “I’m focusing all of my magic so I can shoot your face off,” answers Torlock with a cold, dead stare. “Here, let me help you,” Skunk says. He pulls out a knife, and slashes it across Torlock’s chest, cutting a hole in his robe. “YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!” Torlock yells. He punches Skunk several times, while the rodent laughs. “Heh, you think you can fight me? No, no. It’s not going to happen,” he says, and swings his blade merrily. This time, the edge of the knife just misses Torlock. “AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Globber screams, painfully and loud. He’s transforming into a shield to protect Torlock. “Hehee. It tickles.”

On Cletus’s “Magic Leaf” Plantation

Barb pulls out a steak knife from behind her chair, and charges at Patches, while the jaguar flips her over and puts the knife to her head. “Nope, not gonna happen. There is no way in hell that knife was touching me,” Patches taunts. “Let her go, she’s harmless,” Cupcake says. Patches gives him an ice cold stare. Turning to the farmer, Cupcake says, “Sorry about that, Cletus. We didn’t come here to fight.” Unexpectedly, Cletus starts to clap. “That were awesome! Great job, gurl, great job. Now I knew that yaw can fight them’s thugs,” he says cheerfully. Patches lets Barb go, while the doll stumbles to her chair. The closing time music plays from the loud speaker above. “Let’s get ready. The ogre’s will be here soon,” says Grizzly. Everybody - except for Barb - walks out of the tent. “Me and Grizz will stand by the gates. Patches, Dan and Cletus, you guys stay back until they get in. Good luck, I hope for minimal death on our party,” Cupcake says, giving a great-but-short-and-certainly-not-sentimental pep talk, making everybody wish they were as violent and horrible as him. Partially.

Grizzly and Cupcake walk to the gates as planned, while the other three stay put. “Hey, yaw. Cerpcake says yaw a good man. Don’ get yawself killed out ther,” Cletus says, smiling at Dan. Sadly, Cletus doesn’t have any teeth. Suddenly, loud car noises sound off. “They’re here! Get ready!” yells Grizzly. Three large RC cars speed to the gate. “HEY BOYS! LOOKS LIKE THE BEAR AND THE DELICIOUS TREAT BROUGHT SOME NEW MEAT SHIELDS!” yells a morbidly obese ogre. The others, who are equally fat and disgusting, rally behind him. “Don’ worry, them’s the only ogres left. We’s killed them other ones in a bon fire three weeks ago. If yaw an’ me kill all of them’s, then we won’ have to deal with ‘em any mawr,” Cletus says, while he slowly forgets how to speak English. Miraculously, he shot his rifle, and hit one of the drivers in the head. “HEY BOYS! WE LOST ONE OF OUR BOYS! LETS ACTUALLY GIVE THE READERS SOME ACTION AND DRIVE INTO THE GATE, BOYS!” yells the first ogre. The two cars with drivers ram into the gates, knocking them down. Cupcake manages to get out of the way, but Grizzly doesn’t make it. “Grizz! Don’ die on me! I don’ wanna get er new farm han’! Cletus yells. Grizzly starts screaming dramatically, then stops. He then looks to our invisible camera, and winks. After his Oscar-winning performance, Grizzly falls to the ground. “NOOO!!” yells Cletus. He starts firing his gun at the cars, shooting all the drivers. Again, miraculously. Only the guys in the passenger’s seat are left. They get out, but Cupcake shoots one, Patches slices one, but the final one attacks Dan. “Hey guys! I could use some help!” he yells. “No! Do it yourself! You gotta learn how kill, kid!” yells Cupcake, as he searches the dead body of the ogre he just killed. “Ooo, this one has a shiny nickel,” he says happily. Dan cuts the legs off of his opponent. “Don’t worry. If you find a turtle who pretends to know magic, they’ll fix you right up,” Dan laughs. He then cuts the arms off, and then the head. “That actually feels really, really good,” Dan says, smiling. “Oh no, I hope that one day, he doesn’t go crazy, become evil and then start killing all of our friends,” says Patches. She looks into the camera and shakes her head, while mouthing the word “no”. (She disapproves of Solomon.)



Over the character limit, again. Expect this a lot.

After they cleaned up the bodies, the three fighters (with Grizzly) sit in the truck. Cletus stands by the window. “Sorry about Grizz, I’m sure you’ll find a new farm hand,” he says sincerely. Spontaneously, Cupcake punches the farmer in the face. “Also, you didn’t need us here at all. Like there were only six guys, and you killed most of them. Call us if you actually have a problem,” Cupcake says, pissed. He drives the truck off, and heads home. “I don’t like them. Like at all. They are awful people,” says Dan. “Yeah, but so am I. Awful people gotta stick together, or else the world will get too happy. And we don’t need that,” Cupcake says. (#whenthestorygetshappypeopledie) “Hey, I wasn’t so bad,” Grizzly said. “Guilty by association,” mutters Patches. As the truck pulls up in front of the house, they notice the door is open. Patches storms out and runs inside. “Torlock! Globber!” she yells, with no response. She runs around, and looks into the Fun Room. Dan and Cupcake follow. The room is completely empty, the chairs and table, along with the instruction book on how to water board small children, all are gone. There’s only one thing: A green capital S, painted on the wall.



Oh no, our main villain was introduced! And he’s a big jerk and likes to kill! And he captured Torlock and Globber! What will we ever do to get them back?!

On another note, can toys inject the marijuanas? Does jet fuel melt steel beams? Do I have any idea what I’m talking about?

And hey, look at that. Grizzly ran away with the group.

Don’t get too fond of him.
-Luke

Looks like our major villains in both iterations of Shelves is a skunk.

Really enjoying this. Let's hope more people come back to read it.

It took me a little bit to remember exactly what was going on, but its good work as always.

Not as many people as I wanted, but hey, its a slow burn.

New chapter up tomorrow. Maybe we can get some more. (Even though the users on this site don't even go here. )

I'm sure Fryno Forever will read it if he comes back. Medicus is going to read it as well, but is going to re-read the old ones first. I'm sure Terrafin has/is going to read it as well.

I just binge read it all. Finally starting to feel a bit better

While Dan, Patches, Cupcake and Grizzly searched around the home, Skunk was making his dastardly escape with the two captives. You see, it takes a lot of effort to drag people from their home. But when you have to take two complete idiots away, it gets a lot more difficult. While Globber was almost completely fine with being kidnapped, Torlock gave up a fight. It only took Skunk a couple of seconds to knock the warlock out, though. “Here, Globber, why don’t you carry him?” the bastard says. “Okey-dokey, I’ll carry Torlock to your lair,” Globber said happily. He grabs Torlock’s legs. “How far away are we, boss?” he asks. “Oh, I like how I’m your boss now. I can definitely get used to that. Don’t fret, mere subordinate, we are not far. We’re just going to the area with all the dolls and girly toys, its right next to the Wastelands, so we’ll only be another minute or two,” said Skunk. He doesn’t like the boyish aisles, as that’s where the Wastelands are, with all the nonsensical violence and brash and brutal ways. Instead, he prefers the Burrow, with nice houses and picket fences. “Here we are, the Burrow. Ah, a wonderful place. Here is where all the foolish and naïve people live. It’s the perfect setup for a lair. A small, white cottage with a nice and tidy yard, and inside, a torture chamber! Perfection,” Skunk laughs. “Hi there, Peter,” says an old lady, tending to her plastic yard. “Hello Dolores, how is my sweet one today?” Skunk says, very sweet and charming. “Oh, I’m doing just fine today. It’s nice to see you have friends over. You don’t get much attention over in your home. Be a good one, dear Peter,” Dolores says warmly, watching Globber drag Torlock around like its normal. “I always am. Goodbye, dear,” Skunk says, walking over to his home. Globber follows. “Oh Dolores, what a lovely lady, Even though she doesn’t know my name. I think I’ll kill her last,” he says with a smile on his face. He opens his door, and inside, a Chewbacca is beating the living **** out of an army man. “Hey there, boss,” says the Chewbacca. “Bob, what the **** are you doing? I said chop his hands off and then torture him,” says Skunk. “Sorry, boss. I couldn’t find the scissors. I just decided I punch him until you came home,” said Bob. “Bob, I’ve been gone for six hours. Have you been punching that poor man the whole time? Jesus, just kill him already.” Globber storms inside. “WHAT THE HELL?! SKUNK IS MY BOSS! I CALL HIM BOSS! NOT YOU! FILTHY SLUT!” he screams. Globber doesn’t want to share his master with Bob.

“Who the hell is this guy? And why is he sticky?” Bob asks, as Globber nibbles on his arm. “That’s Globber, he’s a new ‘assistant’. He’s made of Play-Doh. Oh, and the turtle knows magic,” murmurs Skunk. He goes over to the fridge, which has a set of tiny plastic beer bottles. He looks at Globber, who has a confused look on his face. “Yeah, I know, it doesn’t work, but it’s nice to pretend,” Skunk says. He sits in a metal foldup chair, and pulls out a knife, which he stabs the army man with. “Why are you torturing him?” Globber asks. “He’s from the Wasteland. Walked in here like he owned the place. We’re gonna chop him up and spread his body parts all over the damn place. That’ll teach them Wastelanders not to send people in here,” Skunk answers the question, hastily. “Also, we don’t like his mustache. That’s the main reason,” said Bob. “Please, c’mon! I just wanted to get out of there. The Burrow has always been the better place,” said the army man. “Enough of you,” Skunk says, and tears off his head. Torlock wakes up to see the head on the floor. “What the ****ing ****? Where am I? Who’s he? Why is there a head on the floor?” Torlock yells. Skunk goes over to Bob, who is much taller than he. “Go put him in the bathtub, and put the vinegar in there. It shouldn’t do anything to him, just give him a scare,” he says, patting the Wookie on the shoulder. Bob picks up Torlock, and carries him away. “Now, Globber, I need you to take this blade of mine, and cut up this dead guy. Put all the pieces in that big box over there, think you can do that?” Skunks asks, as if he’s talking to a preschooler. “Uh….eh…I don’t know….” Globber says nervously. Skunk sighs, and shakes his head. He can’t deal with the stress of having to torture a man, scare a magic turtle, and watch over a pile of blue stupidity at the same time. “Fine. Whatever. Go watch Bob pour vinegar on Torlock.”

While Skunk introduces Globber and Torlock to the burrows, Dan and the rest of the gang are trying to figure out where Torlock and Globber went. “Have you ever seen that symbol before? It has to mean something!” yells Dan. “No, I’ve never seen it. I been here for three damn years and I’ve never seen it. This is a new guy, surely,” Cupcake says. “Dan, were there any other toys in the truck with you and your ex-friend Jake?” Patches asks. “No, it was just us,” Dan replies. “Well, all the cameras in the house and out front are broke. We’re going to have to have a search party,” Cupcake says. Disco music plays in the background right after Cupcake said “party”. He’s also super pissed that Globber and Torlock were out of his watch, especially when the thing he was doing was clearly not important. “Why don’t we talk to Noman? He can get into the security cameras. He’s not that far away, just in-between the Wastelands and the Burrow,” Grizzly brainstorms. “You’re right, we need to check with him. Dan, Patches, get in the car. Grizz, help me get the box,” Cupcake says.
Dan and Patches get in the truck, while the other two come over with a big box. They strap it onto the top of car, and then get in and drive off. “Be careful in this place, Noman is very particular about his…setup. If you break anything, he’ll probably kill you,” Grizzly warns, as Cupcake pulls up to a gate, and a window, with a voice box and a screen with pictures. “Hello, you have reached Noman’s Land. Resting between the horrible and blood ridden Wastelands and the beautiful scenery of the Burrow, Noman’s Land was founded in-” Cupcake shoots the screen. “Noman, it’s Cupcake. Let me in or I’ll smash this wonderful and adorable entry display,” Cupcake threatens. The screen and display presentation cut off, and a subtle cough sounds over the speaker. “Did you…bring the package?” a voice says low and quiet. “You wouldn’t let us in if I didn’t,” Cupcake says. “YASSSSSSSS! Ahem, sorry. Uh, thanks. I’ll let you in,” the voice says. The gate opens, and the truck pulls in. “Behold: The Lego Aisle,” Grizzly says in amazement. They get out of a truck, and walk over to an elevator, which opens. A WALL-E rolls out. “Give me the box. Don’t say anything, just get your grubby paws off my box,” it says, like a madman. Grizzly forks over the box, and Noman completely shreds it. Inside are a bunch of Legos. “HOLY **** YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES THANK YOU!” he yells. “The only way Noman will do anything is if we give him Legos. He goes wild for that damn stuff,” Grizzly whispers to Dan. “THIS IS BETTER THAN HEROIN!” yells Noman. After a moment of going ape**** on the Legos, he looks up. “You may speak,” he says to Cupcake. “Two of these idiots we’ve been watching over managed to get themselves captured while we were out. We need you to check the security cameras,” Cupcake explains. “Were they a pile of autistic Play-Doh and a turtle with a wizard robe? If so, some Skunk had the pile of blue **** drag the magic reptile over to the Burrows,” said Noman. “Globber, damn it. He’s already found a new master,” said Dan. “Why don’t you guys just let the Skunk keep them?” ask Grizzly. Cupcake stares him down. “It’s that damn turtle. I swear he knows magic.”

Hey, you met Noman, which is practically going to be Drobot from the original series. Instead of joining the group, he’ll be one of those people you’ll see time to time. His name comes from something, and if you can figure it out, I’ll give you a brownie-point, which literally can get you nothing. But it’s the effort that counts.
Cupcake also believes in magic. Maybe one day Torlock will teach him…
Also, you met Bob. Good for you.

-Luke

----------

Chapter Seven will be up soon, my summer vacation just started, so I should be posting regularly.

Also, seven is the last chapter I wrote before I shifted all focus to school work back in February. With Chapter Eight, I am trying to polish my writing a little. I hope you'll notice the quality of the writing increasing as time goes on.

Also, terra, glad to hear you're feeling better.

Catch you on the flip side, my totally tubular bros. Radical, man.

Wall-E obsessed with lego, seems logical

Does Noman's name come from Homer's Odyssey?

Quote: 84skylanderdude

Does Noman's name come from Homer's Odyssey?

To be honest, never read the Odyssey (I think I'll have to read it Junior year).
It comes from the fact that his land is smack dab in the middle of two other lands, who both happen to be going through what can only be described as a war between the girl aisles (The Burrows) and the boy aisles (Wasteland). His land is the neutral zone, which is No Man's Land. No Man = Noman.

Ah, I thought you meant like it was a reference to something.

Wait, what grade are you going in, uts?

Imma gonna go into my sophomore year in August. Exciting stuff.

Quote: uttster13

Imma gonna go into my sophomore year in August. Exciting stuff.

Same.