darkSpyro

So I just finished my freshman year of college and I'm in need of a summer job. I have anxiety, so thinking about it has been pretty stressful for me. I've had one job before at a discount movie theatre. It was really easy and I already had a bunch of high school friends working there. Wherever I end up working next, I won't know anybody. Maybe I'm hard on myself, but I feel like I'm a pretty slow learner. The fear of doing a job poorly and irritating co-workers with my confusion is really holding me back right now. Making mistakes that negatively affect the establishment bothers me too. My head is kinda just a nervous mess right now.

I know this is an odd place to come for this, but hearing about working in a new situation with strangers from hoopefully kind strangers might help me. Absolutely anything you can tell me, advice on how to continue, something you know from experience, suggestions for jobs, absolutely anything. It would be very much appreciated.

Sorry if this is too much to ask from a forum. I'm just looking for reassurance. Thank you.

Quote: Bolt

Hey sweetie, you're fine to ask! I hope you get some decent advice from people here.

I've worked at three places so far. A tattoo parlour, a cigarette shop, and now I'm currently at a butchers. It's all basically been retail, and considering the places I've worked, nothing too bad had happened. The worst would be like, a grumpy customer. It takes me a little while to get comfortable in a new situation, and all my superiors thus far have been totally fine and patient and pretty helpful (besides my tattoo mentor, but that is a whole other story, and it probably didn't help that he was family). I suffer pretty bad anxiety too, but honestly, my latest job has helped with my confidence a lot because I have to talk to people and it gets me to open up more, you know? I was a nervous wreck when I first started, but I'm mostly completely fine at my job now ... besides answering the phone LOL.
Also, I don't know if it helps you in particular, but from experience it helps if you know someone who can help you get a job. Because I got two out of my three jobs because I knew someone who worked there. Same as my sister. She got three jobs because she knew people. But like, don't rule out getting jobs the traditional way too, of course. And I think when you have the interview it's good to not be 100% serious. I got the cigarette shopjob because I was able to have a joke or two with the interviewer.
I don't know, I hope at least some of this helps. Feel free to ask anymore questions or ask e to be more specific if you want!! And most importantly ... good luck!!!$

This is very helpful, thank you! I appreciate it

It always makes me feel better to know how many other people with anxiety and these struggles and eventually manage to overcome them.

Something to remember is that everyone makes mistakes. This is something that's even been acknowledged at a few interviews I have done. It seems like a lot of employers weigh your personality a lot when making hiring decisions. If you're able to learn from mistakes and ask questions, and also just be generally pleasant, you'll do fine. I was really anxious socially before starting my first job which was a cashier job at a grocery store. But now I am very comfortable around people. My second job was at a call center so I was doing back to back calls for 8 hours a day, and it could get exhausting but most people were super nice, and now I'm no longer phone-shy. I think that's a general rule of thumb anywhere is that most coworkers and customers you will have are usually polite.

You will probably make some great friends at any job you take, and if you want some interview tips I know a lot of them. I can detail those in a followup post if you would find that useful.

Oh I guess an example I could give you about making mistakes is how I accidentally broke a vase at my first job. I thought "oh wow this is an accident waiting to happen, I'll be extra careful around this vase." Then I bumped it. Nobody really cared, there wasn't really many people around and someone quietly came over to help me clean it up.

I don't personally believe that there is perfection anywhere in the universe (except in certain branches of mathematics,) not even on the divine level. I have learned to be okay with this because it keeps life interesting. While there are some things that still stress me out, having a positive enough attitude makes getting through things a lot easier. Some negative things need to be acknowledged, for it is not possible to be completely optimistic and problems don't tend to go away if you ignore them. Trying to be completely optimistic results in being even more negative than before and can cause depression.

Research the placebo effect if you want information on how powerful one's beliefs are in shaping their behavior. The best known example of this is patients being told and then strongly enough believing a harmless, but ultimately powerless "antidepressant" will work on them and often starting to feel better simply because of this belief. While the placebo effect has certain limits, such as that it won't cure any physical diseases that cannot be beaten by a strong immune system(eg. cancer), it is powerful enough to affect your mind profoundly. I think that the placebo effect can also boost your immune system by increasing your happiness level, but it cannot give it new abilities by itself that aren't already programmed into it. It is very well studied, but not fully understood. While I don't think you have depression, I am making a point about just how powerful the placebo effect is. I personally think it is a big part of why attitude is so important.

The more confident you are, the more effort you will put into getting something done. I am pretty sure that employers like confidence, but not overconfidence. Believe that you have a fair shot at getting the job, but don't assume that you are definitely getting it or you will experience an unnecessary amount of grief if you don't. The most important thing is that you do your best. I haven't gotten a job yet since I just graduated high school yesterday and got mentally worn out after most days of high school. If you want a low stress job where you still can contribute to society, I recommend seeing if you can be a stocker. That's what I intend to do since I do not work well under negative pressure. Reward yourself often enough and you can probably considerably increase your work capacity. Eating something good that you don't have frequently (something affordable) is an example of such a reward. Change it up sometimes so you don't get burned out. I personally like to reward myself daily so I can still mostly take things one day at a time. You should still take some time out of your day to make a basic plan of what later days will be like (Leave room for the unpredictable.), but more effort should be put into planning the near future. By basic, I mean estimating when you'll do what general activity, such as having lunch, working on a particular hobby, or going to work.

i didn't think I'd ever be able to get a job because I'm stupid and autistic. I work in a senior living facility in the dining room and the kitchen. most of the people there are older like their 30s-50s. so working with adults I didn't even know scared me but there were a couple kids my age there. I remember my first day shadowing I just stood there confused as hell. but trust me with any job the first time you walk in it's scary and confusing. personally I wouldn't be annoyed with a new person asking questions. whenever a new person came I was perfectly fine showing them the right way to do things or repeat myself because it makes sure they get the job done. not everybody is going to be nice and that's how it is but once your training days are over it should be mostly clear of what you have to do and you learn more as you go. plus even if you mess up something it's fine since you are brand new. I still have that fear when I think about getting a new job but everybody was new once. you just have to go with the flow. when I first started working there honestly I was an idiot but I turned out alright lol you will be ok. just don't be lazy and act like you care. nobody likes to work with someone who is lazy.

be a neet

I really appreciate the responses from everyone, it means a lot. They really helped me put things in perspective and gain more confidence. I've already applied at a Theatre near me and look forward to hearing back. I'm going to probably apply to a few more places as well. It feels great to have that weight off my shoulders. Thank you!

Working anything that involves customer service you'll learn people just ****ing suck. You're liable to get **** on for something completely out of your control with a number of degrading remarks made to you. It may hurt and that's ok, just don't let it get to you to hard when it happens and try to shrug it off as best you can.

The first few weeks will be scary. It'll all be new, different, and a lot of responsibility to deal with in a rather short amount of time with a lot of worry on messing up big because you don't entirely know what you're doing yet, but it'll be ok. It's a lot like the first day of a new school. It's all different with new faces and new rules and really scary at the start, but in time, you'll make friends and as long as you're not in a ****ty job where the people are assholes, your co-workers should still be understanding and there to help you. Try to take it at your own pace and you'll get the hang of things as you go.

I have my first day at working at AMC theatres tomorrow. I just wanted to thank everybody again for all of the kind words of encouragement and helpful tips! You guys are part of the reason I worked up the courage to even apply somewhere. Thank you, it means a lot to know there's a good community to turn to when I need one.

Yay congrats! Lots of names and stuff to memorize but everyone will understand you're not going to know everything on day 1