darkSpyro

Quote: skylandersspyro

Dude.Don't do surgery.Be gender fluid.Your 18 you are not 100.Surgery in my openion.Is horrible.its not natual to change your body like that.The results are unsettling......I think the world is trying to make people transgender but thats a different talk....

jhust stop talking.

Quote: Samius

Quote: Windumup

I am not being sexist, I know there are plenty of girls interested in gaming (from casual to hardcore) but there is still the odds of meeting one. Here is a challenge, try to find a girl that you don't know (High School is a good place for those who are like me and still in school, lots of girls there.) but more specifically a gamer girl.
If you don't find one, keep track of how many days till you find one. You may even find one that is a gamer girl but doesn't say they are.

Unless I use a dating app or something (I may be catfish'ed on those) I still have to deal with the odds of even meeting one.
If I was a girl though and wore lets say a legend of zelda shirt, there is bound to be some attention my way.

Okay, I want to help you and thus I'm going to keep it real. Do what you want, but at least be aware of the realities of your choices.

Let's face it, you come off as being very desperate to get into a romantic relationship. Don't sweat it, that's completely understandable. A lot of young people have the same problem and if this is your reason for wanting to change your gender then you're on the wrong track.
You're still young, there is nothing in your life currently that will not improve as you grow. Your looks/style, your confidence, your social situation/skills, it will all get better with experience and I guarantee you that what you're experiencing now will seem like less of a problem in the future.

The solution that you came up with is essentially what psychologists call "magical thinking". It is "the attribution of causal relationships between actions and events which seemingly cannot be justified by reason and observation."
An example of this kind of thinking is someone telling him/herself "If I lose weight, a person I like will love me."
Success in love and long-term relationships are things far more complex than simply dieting, but the person engaging in magical thinking refuses to see that. He/She instead fixates on a single aspect of the problem and blows its significance way out of proportion. In their minds it is only about them doing this one thing to achieve all the desired results, but in reality what they're doing doesn't solve their problem at all.

If you're thinking of changing your gender because you had a couple of setbacks in your love-life, and thus you think that everything will magically take a turn for the better if you do; it's just that, magical thinking. In reality the whole issue is far more complex than that and you're just looking at it from a misinformed perspective. Undergoing hormone treatment and a sex change operation will not automatically make you an attractive, socially fluent female that guys and girls lust over. It's not even a guarantee of that ever happening, ever.
So if this is the case, then what you're thinking is false and you should really reconsider your options.

However, if it's an identity thing; IF you really want to be female and don't want to be male, and it has nothing to do with simply getting a girlfriend, then and only then is this a good idea. Even then it's better to not make a choice like that lightly.[

Pretty much this, it's not "Oh if I become a girl then I would instantly fall in love" as some people think I mean. Honestly if you look at a good portion of my avatars (Female Singers, MLP but that one is up for debate on if it should count as a feminine avatar considering I am a brony, etc) then you would kinda think at first that maybe I am female at first glance. I experimented a little in drama class (had to play a witch for my scene anyways with costume.) so I put on one of the prop skirts on for my costume and I didn't actually mind o. o (do note lots of guys in my drama class do this for skits where there are less females in the group, plus it made for a funny skit where we had to pick a song and make a no dialogue scene for said song. I wasn't in that group but it was really funny)


edit: How did this topic blow up so much over one school day? Also the attention I meant is the whole stereotypical gamer sees gamer girl and goes googly eyes over her. While I don't support the stereotype, I do kinda only have been in love with girls who are already gamers. Just my personal preference

Quote: Sesshomaru75

Liking feminine things =/= trans.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Quote: Sesshomaru75

Liking feminine things =/= trans.

Kind of this. I don't want to invalidate your feelings, but unless you feel MORE comfortable being female than you do now, you're not exactly trans.

(Though from your skirt comment, you could be genderfluid too.)

Quote: StriderSwag

Quote: Sesshomaru75

Liking feminine things =/= trans.

Kind of this. I don't want to invalidate your feelings, but unless you feel MORE comfortable being female than you do now, you're not exactly trans.

(Though from your skirt comment, you could be genderfluid too.)

Yeah I do think I would be more comfortable being female then male. Too bad at the moment I don't think I could go get the surgery, nor can I buy and wear feminine clothes. (Kinda have to wait till I move out of my parent's house)

Everyone else here has been rather nice about this whole situation.

I'm probably about to be a little less nice.

Quote: Windumup

Pretty much this, it's not "Oh if I become a girl then I would instantly fall in love" as some people think I mean. Honestly if you look at a good portion of my avatars (Female Singers, MLP but that one is up for debate on if it should count as a feminine avatar considering I am a brony, etc) then you would kinda think at first that maybe I am female at first glance. I experimented a little in drama class (had to play a witch for my scene anyways with costume.) so I put on one of the prop skirts on for my costume and I didn't actually mind o. o (do note lots of guys in my drama class do this for skits where there are less females in the group, plus it made for a funny skit where we had to pick a song and make a no dialogue scene for said song. I wasn't in that group but it was really funny)


edit: How did this topic blow up so much over one school day? Also the attention I meant is the whole stereotypical gamer sees gamer girl and goes googly eyes over her. While I don't support the stereotype, I do kinda only have been in love with girls who are already gamers. Just my personal preference

Ok listen here. And this goes to anybody else who's feeling like they might be another gender because they have a tendency to like more masculine or feminine things. Liking some feminine things does not make you transgendered, and liking something feminine one day more than another doesn't make you genderfluid either.

I use MLP avatars because I like MLP. I use avatars or like certain things featuring women. My avatar right now is a damn woman. But that doesn't mean I'm about to start sitting here thinking "hmm well maybe I'm actually female and not male" because I myself do not personally feel anything other than male. Feeling like you're a different gender just because you like certain things is kinda asinine (and might I add, reinforces the gender stereotypes that people nowadays try to hard to tear down).

Also while you not minding (using your words) wearing a skirt could be a sign of something, it could also simply mean you didn't necessarily have a problem and were alright with doing it for the skit (which loads of actors do while not necessarily feeling a different gender). Don't start blowing up things like this in an attempt to try and discover some sort of big thing, or as it seems right now, as ways to excuse the choice you're making based on something a little less meaningful.

Do not get me wrong in the slightest. I understand that you might feel alone and upset and single and even a little desperate. If there is anyone here who could understand what you're feeling about relationships it is most certainly me and that's why I would give you the benefit of the doubt when you were having the meltdown the other day about possibly losing that girl. It sucks loads and it's really hard to go through and people who may already be in a relationship or don't really care about them may not really understand it.

BUT

To go and do something as life changing and massive as change your gender for the primary reason that you feel like you'll have a better chance of finding a partner that way is beyond ridiculous and quite frankly can possibly seen as insulting towards people who actually go through these thoughts and issues regarding their gender identity. Firstly are you even bi/gay? If not you already found yourself at a dead end because you won't feel much attraction to any guys. Second, even though you identify as female, it'll probably be quite some time before you are able to make the biological changes to that, meaning you will still appear biologically male (and therefore lose the interest of any guy who isn't gay or fine with dating transgenders). So you're throwing a lot out the window and making a huge life changing decision...................on the very slim chance that you'll have a better shot at finding a relationship.

I thought I had issues about this abandonment and loneliness stuff but come on man. If this is really just to pick up a guy instead of a girl because "there's more gamer guys than gamer girls" then you really didn't think this all through and need to have a good long thinking about it. Like Baro said it tends to be around 6+ months of these constant feelings of discomfort before you can really say you may be better as a different gender. You were like what, 3 days?

If you feel legitimately like you're more female than male and you would be more comfortable as a female, then you have my support and I encourage you to go through with it. If this is just to try and get a date better, then don't even ****ing bother.

Quote: Windumup

Quote: StriderSwag

Quote: Sesshomaru75

Liking feminine things =/= trans.

Kind of this. I don't want to invalidate your feelings, but unless you feel MORE comfortable being female than you do now, you're not exactly trans.

(Though from your skirt comment, you could be genderfluid too.)

Yeah I do think I would be more comfortable being female then male. Too bad at the moment I don't think I could go get the surgery, nor can I buy and wear feminine clothes. (Kinda have to wait till I move out of my parent's house)

It all takes time! It may seem like a next to impossible journey, but trust me, it'll work out!
Have you been feeling this way for quite a while or just recently?

EDIT BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE CAV'S POST

Quote: CAV

Like Baro said it tends to be around 6+ months of these constant feelings of discomfort before you can really say you may be better as a different gender. You were like what, 3 days?

I kind of agree, but at the same time I don't think we should have a gateway time to validate people's gender. Granted it took me, 6 years, maybe 7, before I really found out about genderfluidity and that it fit me, and I agree they should think things over a bit more before making such a life changing decision like that, but I've know people that it took two weeks and they're still happy being trans.

Unless you've been feeling like this for a very long time, or you extremely feel like you're a female rather than male, I doubt this is really how you feel. I suspect this is just a way for you to try to get a date, or you thinking just because you liked wearing a dress, you're suddenly female.
I could be wrong though, I could not be.

well isn't this a lovely, spiritual, sexual adventure

REST IN SPAGHETTI

NEVER
EVER

________

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Samius

Quote: Windumup

I am not being sexist, I know there are plenty of girls interested in gaming (from casual to hardcore) but there is still the odds of meeting one. Here is a challenge, try to find a girl that you don't know (High School is a good place for those who are like me and still in school, lots of girls there.) but more specifically a gamer girl.
If you don't find one, keep track of how many days till you find one. You may even find one that is a gamer girl but doesn't say they are.

Unless I use a dating app or something (I may be catfish'ed on those) I still have to deal with the odds of even meeting one.
If I was a girl though and wore lets say a legend of zelda shirt, there is bound to be some attention my way.

Okay, I want to help you and thus I'm going to keep it real. Do what you want, but at least be aware of the realities of your choices.

Let's face it, you come off as being very desperate to get into a romantic relationship. Don't sweat it, that's completely understandable. A lot of young people have the same problem and if this is your reason for wanting to change your gender then you're on the wrong track.
You're still young, there is nothing in your life currently that will not improve as you grow. Your looks/style, your confidence, your social situation/skills, it will all get better with experience and I guarantee you that what you're experiencing now will seem like less of a problem in the future.

The solution that you came up with is essentially what psychologists call "magical thinking". It is "the attribution of causal relationships between actions and events which seemingly cannot be justified by reason and observation."
An example of this kind of thinking is someone telling him/herself "If I lose weight, a person I like will love me."
Success in love and long-term relationships are things far more complex than simply dieting, but the person engaging in magical thinking refuses to see that. He/She instead fixates on a single aspect of the problem and blows its significance way out of proportion. In their minds it is only about them doing this one thing to achieve all the desired results, but in reality what they're doing doesn't solve their problem at all.

If you're thinking of changing your gender because you had a couple of setbacks in your love-life, and thus you think that everything will magically take a turn for the better if you do; it's just that, magical thinking. In reality the whole issue is far more complex than that and you're just looking at it from a misinformed perspective. Undergoing hormone treatment and a sex change operation will not automatically make you an attractive, socially fluent female that guys and girls lust over. It's not even a guarantee of that ever happening, ever.
So if this is the case, then what you're thinking is false and you should really reconsider your options.

However, if it's an identity thing; IF you really want to be female and don't want to be male, and it has nothing to do with simply getting a girlfriend, then and only then is this a good idea. Even then it's better to not make a choice like that lightly.[

Pretty much this, it's not "Oh if I become a girl then I would instantly fall in love" as some people think I mean.

I feel like I need to quote this again, I am NOT doing this to try and get a love interest.

Quote: Spyrobaro

Quote: StriderSwag

I kind of agree, but at the same time I don't think we should have a gateway time to validate people's gender. Granted it took me, 6 years, maybe 7, before I really found out about genderfluidity and that it fit me, and I agree they should think things over a bit more before making such a life changing decision like that, but I've know people that it took two weeks and they're still happy being trans.

Professionals say that 6+ months is the general time that you should think on it before making any sort of decision. And I know where they're coming from. If you tell yourself something like that too early and keep doing it over and over again, you're going to convince yourself of something that might not necessarily be true. And then when you go to transition (like Windumup plans to), you're going to end up giving yourself gender dysphoria.

There are so many very important things that you have to consider when making such a big decision, and you could always just be having a short burst where you feel more feminine or masculine (it's beyond normal). Three days is NOT going to cut it.

Believe me. I understand. I agree. It may take them as long as it did for me to find out their gender, but we can't just shoot down their feelings right out of the gate. The least we could do is ask them how long they've been feeling this way, and then help them plot out a course of action. They're already confused, and we're just making it worse.

Quote: hardcoreignitor

REST IN SPAGHETTI

NEVER
EVER

Reveal Spoiler

FORGETTI

Can you try to be serious for once and stop acting like your former self?

Quote: Windumup

I think I have given up on the "path of destruction" (and to those who couldn't tell, yes the path of destruction leads to suicide ) but instead I am picking a new path. A path that may either help me fall in love but at the same time make my options EXTREMELY limited.
I don't have a name for this path but if you notice a change on my guestbook, that is part of the change. Why should I live my life as a male when people will practically THROW themselves at me if I was female, I would still love females though. (Go ahead and make all the "Haha windumup is now a girl and is GAY/Lesbian" jokes now" so when I do get the surgery a long time from now, I would have already forgotten the insults)
What are even the odds of finding a lesbian/bi female gamer anyways? 1 in 10000000000000000000 odds?

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Sesshomaru75

So you're becoming trans...because you think girls would like you more? What?

No, I am doing it because if I am not happy being male then why should I stay male?!! Yes I will be swarmed by thirsty gamer guys (No hate on my birth gender, but most of us would do anything to even know a gamer girl outside the internet.) but that is a better existence then what my life is!!
I'd rather be noticed then not have any eyes looking my way.

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Sesshomaru75

Well if you legitimately don't feel comfortable being male, then I don't mind.

But being trans isn't going to make anyone like you more or make anyone any more or less attracted to you, just so you know.

And there's plenty of girls who play video games, what the **** are you on about?

I am not being sexist, I know there are plenty of girls interested in gaming (from casual to hardcore) but there is still the odds of meeting one. Here is a challenge, try to find a girl that you don't know (High School is a good place for those who are like me and still in school, lots of girls there.) but more specifically a gamer girl.
If you don't find one, keep track of how many days till you find one. You may even find one that is a gamer girl but doesn't say they are.

Unless I use a dating app or something (I may be catfish'ed on those) I still have to deal with the odds of even meeting one.
If I was a girl though and wore lets say a legend of zelda shirt, there is bound to be some attention my way.

Sorry but these posts just sound contradicting when you say you're not doing this to find love.

Noticed doesn't always mean in a love way, so


Yes the first one does mention people throwing themselves at me but that would be GUYS not girls. Hence a difference


Edit: Editing title topic now that the subject has changed from well you guys know

Quote: Windumup

Noticed doesn't always mean in a love way, so


Yes the first one does mention people throwing themselves at me but that would be GUYS not girls. Hence a difference


Edit: Editing title topic now that the subject has changed from well you guys know

No matter the gender of people throwing themselves at you, it's still love you're seeking.

From what i've read here, you're a very confused young man.

You clearly want to be with a guy, but you feel the only way to do that is to become a woman, but there are guys out there who will accept you exactly as you are.

Don't make a decision that could end up ruining the rest of your life, because if you're doing it solely to meet a guy, then gender reassignment surgery is not the option for you, you need to accept that you're a gay man who likes to cross dress and meet a guy who accepts that.

Quote: Greeble

From what i've read here, you're a very confused young man.

You clearly want to be with a guy, but you feel the only way to do that is to become a woman, but there are guys out there who will accept you exactly as you are.

Don't make a decision that could end up ruining the rest of your life, because if you're doing it solely to meet a guy, then gender reassignment surgery is not the option for you, you need to accept that you're a gay man who likes to cross dress and meet a guy who accepts that.

I have not only said this isn't for love, but I have also said several times that even as a girl I would still love girls. I would only be homosexual by technicality AFTER becoming a girl, due to my new gender not my birth gender.

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Greeble

From what i've read here, you're a very confused young man.

You clearly want to be with a guy, but you feel the only way to do that is to become a woman, but there are guys out there who will accept you exactly as you are.

Don't make a decision that could end up ruining the rest of your life, because if you're doing it solely to meet a guy, then gender reassignment surgery is not the option for you, you need to accept that you're a gay man who likes to cross dress and meet a guy who accepts that.

I have not only said this isn't for love, but I have also said several times that even as a girl I would still love girls. I would only be homosexual by technicality AFTER becoming a girl, due to my new gender not my birth gender.

You're making this way too complicated.

Quote: TacoMakerSkys

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Greeble

From what i've read here, you're a very confused young man.

You clearly want to be with a guy, but you feel the only way to do that is to become a woman, but there are guys out there who will accept you exactly as you are.

Don't make a decision that could end up ruining the rest of your life, because if you're doing it solely to meet a guy, then gender reassignment surgery is not the option for you, you need to accept that you're a gay man who likes to cross dress and meet a guy who accepts that.

I have not only said this isn't for love, but I have also said several times that even as a girl I would still love girls. I would only be homosexual by technicality AFTER becoming a girl, due to my new gender not my birth gender.

You're making this way too complicated.

Am I the only one here who understands what they just said or

Let me make this extremely basic for those that still don't get it
I am not doing this for love.
If I do find a lesbian or bisexual girl that is a gamer that I like and likes me back I will be glad. But if I don't then I have ZERO regrets.

Wouldn't you have less of a chance of getting a girlfriend who just so happens to be a gamer if you turned female?

idk, but it sounds like you're saying "I don't wanna do it for love, but I want to do it to be more attractive to other people." Which really isn't a good motive either, tbh. But then again, I don't fully understand anything anymore, so.

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Greeble

From what i've read here, you're a very confused young man.

You clearly want to be with a guy, but you feel the only way to do that is to become a woman, but there are guys out there who will accept you exactly as you are.

Don't make a decision that could end up ruining the rest of your life, because if you're doing it solely to meet a guy, then gender reassignment surgery is not the option for you, you need to accept that you're a gay man who likes to cross dress and meet a guy who accepts that.

I have not only said this isn't for love, but I have also said several times that even as a girl I would still love girls. I would only be homosexual by technicality AFTER becoming a girl, due to my new gender not my birth gender.

The thing is, the way it was worded early on regarding thirsty gamer guys and chances of finding a lesbian gamer girl being so low (something that isn't true as I know a few), it is a bit confusing as to just who you'll be interested in after.

Yes, you have said a number of times it isn't about love, but still given the timing of recent events and how you spoke earlier in the topic, it sounds a bit the opposite. We will still accept you regardless, but the point is we are simply asking you to take some time, not just a few days, but some real time and consider things before you fully decide to go through with anything.

Quote: Windumup

Let me make this extremely basic for those that still don't get it
I am not doing this for love.
If I do find a lesbian or bisexual girl that is a gamer that I like and likes me back I will be glad. But if I don't then I have ZERO regrets.

Not to pry into your business but you and only you can make your own decision. You're the one that has to like yourself and be happy with yourself. What ever decision you make, I do wish the very best.

Oh and that gamer girl you're looking for? Dude keep in mind that maybe she's looking for you and she hasn't found you yet.

i'm a GAMER GIRL by your definition and i have no problem finding other girls who play video games. maybe you should look for people because they are good human beings rather than because they play video games because that's shallow as hell

Quote: Big Green

i'm a GAMER GIRL by your definition and i have no problem finding other girls who play video games. maybe you should look for people because they are good human beings rather than because they play video games because that's shallow as hell

My type of girl is my type. Besides even if they aren't a gamer girl, she can still become one.

I hate this topic. It sounds so ridiculously neck beard material that it's not even okay for me for to look at this thread title.

Quote: Trix Master 100

I hate this topic. It sounds so ridiculously neck beard material that it's not even okay for me for to look at this thread title.

It's really not.
They're CONFUSED, just let them work out their gender AND their intentions.

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Big Green

i'm a GAMER GIRL by your definition and i have no problem finding other girls who play video games. maybe you should look for people because they are good human beings rather than because they play video games because that's shallow as hell

My type of girl is my type. Besides even if they aren't a gamer girl, she can still become one.

literal disease

Quote: Big Green

i'm a GAMER GIRL by your definition and i have no problem finding other girls who play video games. maybe you should look for people because they are good human beings rather than because they play video games because that's shallow as hell

While requiring a "gamer girl" specifically is a little odd, it stands to reason that you want to be with someone you have things in common with. If you don't have much in common it's not going to go much anywhere.

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Big Green

i'm a GAMER GIRL by your definition and i have no problem finding other girls who play video games. maybe you should look for people because they are good human beings rather than because they play video games because that's shallow as hell

My type of girl is my type. Besides even if they aren't a gamer girl, she can still become one.

Oh my.
Well, Strider's right, you are confused.

Quote: ThroneOfMalefor

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Big Green

i'm a GAMER GIRL by your definition and i have no problem finding other girls who play video games. maybe you should look for people because they are good human beings rather than because they play video games because that's shallow as hell

My type of girl is my type. Besides even if they aren't a gamer girl, she can still become one.

literal disease

You know you can tell them the error of their ways rather than continuing to belittle them...

Quote: StriderSwag

Quote: ThroneOfMalefor

Quote: Windumup

My type of girl is my type. Besides even if they aren't a gamer girl, she can still become one.

literal disease

You know you can tell them the error of their ways rather than continuing to belittle them...

too bad they can't listen

Quote: ThroneOfMalefor

Quote: StriderSwag

Quote: ThroneOfMalefor

literal disease

You know you can tell them the error of their ways rather than continuing to belittle them...

too bad they can't listen

It just begs repeating. Show them the error of their ways, and don't just give up. Eventually they'll hear you out.

Wait is it wrong to have a type or preferences?

Quote: CAV

Wait is it wrong to have a type or preferences?

not at all but trying to convert a girl into a gamer from non-gamer status is madly far-fetched

Didn't they say they wanted to find someone who already kinda was? The "convert" thing seems more off hand.

Quote: StriderSwag

Quote: Trix Master 100

I hate this topic. It sounds so ridiculously neck beard material that it's not even okay for me for to look at this thread title.

It's really not.
They're CONFUSED, just let them work out their gender AND their intentions.

It really is.

They are using the terms "Gamer girl" like that's a thing, when in fact it makes them sound like a f-ing neck beard.

Also I was not saying anything about stopping their gender and their intentions, but if you really want me to say something about it because you are accusing me of such earlier. They should talk to someone before make posts or think about what they are gonna say before digging themselves into a abyss. Otherwise, they literally sound like the biggest bigot that I have ever seen. And that's putting it bluntly. Same goes to everyone else, think before you freaking post something.

Quote: ThroneOfMalefor

Quote: CAV

Wait is it wrong to have a type or preferences?

not at all but trying to convert a girl into a gamer from non-gamer status is madly far-fetched

Quote: CAV

Didn't they say they wanted to find someone who already kinda was? The "convert" thing seems more off hand.

I know you both know this, but casual reminder since we're going further into this discussion that the "girl gamer" is nothing but a social construct.

Quote: CAV

Didn't they say they wanted to find someone who already kinda was? The "convert" thing seems more off hand.

Quote: Windumup

Quote: Big Green

i'm a GAMER GIRL by your definition and i have no problem finding other girls who play video games. maybe you should look for people because they are good human beings rather than because they play video games because that's shallow as hell

My type of girl is my type. Besides even if they aren't a gamer girl, she can still become one.

this post was the cheese

@strider that's more than likely why it's interpreted as absurd to almost everyone that posted in this topic

i'm a gamer gurl and i play minecraft, my favorite console is xbox and i hate sony!!! they're soooo greedy. :\


....all jokes aside, what the actual **** is even happening anymore. :P