darkSpyro

DNN: The Dark News Network.


From live on the scene, we have CAV, a victim of the violent protests within the "sexy fanfics" section recently opened up on the border of the city. CAV suffered major wounds, including broken ribs, deep cuts and scrapes.

"It was horrible" he said. "They yelled and screamed at me, it's just indescribable."

Snipers have recently been deployed on roofs in the area to handle the problem. This move has not proven effective so far, but we will have to wait and see what happens.

UP NEXT: Banstorm Chasers

S5|E7

Banstorm Chasers BigBoom and StriderSwag hunt for Ban Tornados in the Upper Help and Suggestion region..

what even

Why was this not a thing before

The up next story sounds very interesting

Quote: MoonHorizons

DNN: The Dark News Network.


From live on the scene, we have CAV, a victim of the violent protests within the "sexy fanfics" section recently opened up on the border of the city. CAV suffered major wounds, including broken ribs, deep cuts and scrapes.

"It was horrible" he said. "They yelled and screamed at me, it's just indescribable."

Snipers have recently been deployed on roofs in the area to handle the problem. This move has not proven effective so far, but we will have to wait and see what happens.

UP NEXT: Banstorm Chasers

S5|E7

Banstorm Chasers BigBoom and StriderSwag hunt for Ban Tornados in the Upper Help and Suggestion region..

I'm finally recognized...
*sniff*

COMMERCIALS:

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( black and white, overly dramatic scene of a totally not paid darkspyro.net user shaking his head in shame )

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Beth: Woah Becky nice jeans. Where did you get them?
Becky: At Bianca's where I got them for under $15.
Beth: Woah under $15! That's cheap!
Becky: Isn't it? (Opens closet revealing tons of jeans)

Binaca's, it's magically fashionable.

More commercials!

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COMMERCIAL:

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Banstorm Chasers: The dS Weather Channel.

"We got a big one up ahead" yelled out BigBoom as he swerved the vehicle around oncoming debris.

"This storm's a violent one for sure!" yelled out StriderSwag as she looked at the Weather Laptop.

"Is that a Ban Tornado?" StriderSwag questioned.

"We got one! Deploy the probe!" yelled out BigBoom.

StriderSwag and BigBoom ran out carrying a large, strange looking technological object towards the tornado.

"Place it here, it's coming this way" said Strider. "Now let's get out of here!"

BigBoom and Strider jumped into the van and drove off, going faster then Speedy Gonzalez.

Large pressure drops appeared on the probe monitor.

"BigBoom..."

"Yes, Strider?"

"We just made Banstorm chaser history."

UP NEXT: The Darkscovery Channel: Gnarlytreesnex

Commercial

(Shows Gnarlytreesnex slowly rising up to the view)
Gnarly Week coming this June

COMMERCIAL:

Have you ever wanted to tickle Justin Bieber?
Random User: No...
Well now you can with the Tickle Me Justin Bieber doll! Based off of Tickle Me Elmo, the Tickle Me Justin Bieber comes with 10 different sounds including creepy laughs and his hit songs such as Baby!
The Same Random User:
(A Tickle Me Justin Bieber toy comes on the screen) *Ha ha ha! You are the best! Tickle me more! That feels nice! Baby baby baby oh yeah! Ha ha ha! You are so fun! Tickle me mo..o...o..*(Toy explodes and the real Justin Bieber hops out but a bunch of his fans come and take all of his stuff until he is not wearing any clothes and covering up)
And there is a chance that in every 9,999,999 dolls the real Justin Bieber will be trapped inside!
The Same Random User: ... I NEED ONE OF THOSE NOW, AAAAHHHH!!!!!!

Call 1-800-DSJBDOLL (darkSpyro Justin Bieber Doll) to learn more about the doll!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
New TV Show Commercial:

Just in time for Gnarly Week, a new show is coming on: gnarlytreenex and the Password Trouble! It stars gnarlytreenex and his trouble with passwords, users, Guestbooks, and dark52 himself! Rated -1000/5 stars, dark52 says: "The show was so horrible it made me want to shut down darkSpyro forever, one by one kill everyone on darkSpyro, then blow up the world, and then let gnarlytreenex clones take over what's left of the world. Doesn't it sound like he loved it? The show will be premiering this week.

COMMERCIAL:

Are you of those viewers who just want to watch a program? Well too bad! Next week, it will be Commercial Week! It will be commercials 24/7! As for now? You still have to watch commercials! Stop being inpatient!
SPARXisAWESOME: But...
DIDN'T YOU JUST HEAR WHAT IS SAID?!?!
SPARXisAWESOME: But...
GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! STOP BEING A IMMATURE LITTLE USER!!!

We have to interrupt this commercial with a message saying "A random user will be chosen tomorrow to win, drumroll please, $0.01!"

*BOOM!!!* A big explosion has exploded the DS.tv headquarters! We now have to interrupt whatever is on with an explosion safety video. Don't worry viewers, it is only 5 hours!

commercial:

are you tired of commercials? well now you don't have to watch any! call right now, and we'll send you the entire next episode of dS television. free of ads!

HAHAHAHA!!1

OH GEE A COMMERCIAL

Buzz: Are you tired of owls constantly blocking your driveway?
Wolfy: Well then you gotta get OWL TROWEL!

NOW GET BACK TO THE PROGRAM

Buzz: -pushes Loco away- REGULAR PROGRAMM--
Wolfy: OWL TROWEL

Do we have cartoons in the morning after the news?

Quote: TheJMAN184

Commercial:

The Contents of Darkspyro may cause minor damage to your brain and may make you autistic, use at your own risk.

A Message from the Autistic Prevention Center.

Already there, so i'm immune.

Why is there never anything good on the news?

*tries to change channel and gets sucked in*

What the ****??

Save me Jeebus.

There already is one...

Quote: WilltheWizard

There already is one...

Welcome to Stuff & Nonsense, where the topics don't matter and they all get remade. ^.^b

The Darkscovery Channel: Gnarlytreesnex.

The uhh... somewhat mighty gnarlytreesnex.... is a sorta formidable opponent ( gnarlytreesnex gets caught by a snow colored snake ) and is a bit above average intelligence. ( gnarlytreesnex walks straight towards into an obvious trap set by a predator ) Gnarlytreesnexs live in colonies under trees. They are ruled by one, larger gnarlytreesnex king who is always at the center chamber in the colonies.

Gnarlytreesnexes come in many colors. The most common is black and blue, with the occasional white and gold + brown and red. Gnarlys are fairly high up in the food chain... ( gnarlytreesnex gets eaten by a nickel, with the nickel licking his lips afterwards ) eating, uhhh... uh. let's change the subject.

A gnarlytreesnexes main diet is any vegetation or plant life you can think of. From the bark of the trees, to the petals of a flower.

When gnarlytreesnexes go hunting, they prefer to split up and go on their own, screaming and waving their arms frantically while running at prey. ( the prey usually consumes them in the end )

Actually, gnarlytreesnexes are the dumbest thing on our planet. How are they not extinct yet- *STATIC*

Up Next: The darkSpyro History Channel - Ancient Interweb Aliens.

The darkSpyro History Channel: Ancient Interweb Aliens

We look upon the news section of the city, but look closely.

There is one special building in the area. It was made before the site was created. This is pure evidence that we are ruled by shape-shifting ancient interweb raptoids.

Interweb Raptoids have been on the internet since it was originally a military device. Their influence on our culture has been phenomenal. The lay out of the city of darkSpyro resembles a stereotypical UFO you see in old horror films.

Interweb Raptoids live among us and you could be related to one.

Now, I'm not saying it was shapeshifting raptoids, but it was shapeshifting raptoids.

3spooky5me

Fun fact: The "tv" in .tv does not stsnd for "television"; rather, it stands for "Tuvalu", a small Pacific island nation.

Quote: bonbonsalad

Fun fact: The "tv" in .tv does not stsnd for "television"; rather, it stands for "Tuvalu", a small Pacific island nation.

Oh no
It's happening

Red Sparxes, are you tired of being killed over and over again in order for the Yellow Sparxes to summon their long-lost friends or get out of a ban? Introducing StormDragon21, the Summon-Stopper! Hire her now for the low price of 700 gems!

Quote: StormDragon21

Red Sparxes, are you tired of being killed over and over again in order for the Yellow Sparxes to summon their long-lost friends or get out of a ban? Introducing StormDragon21, the Summon-Stopper! Hire her now for the low price of 700 gems!

And now it's on sale for 800 gems! What a great "discount"!

Quote: bonbonsalad

Fun fact: The "tv" in .tv does not stsnd for "television"; rather, it stands for "Tuvalu", a small Pacific island nation.

I get you now.

You try to bring logic to Stuff & Nonsense.

Well played sir, well played.

Does anyone know when they'll be showing the commercial for cheese flavoured marsh mallows?

Those looked yummy.

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The Caticatures Company is not responsible for deaths or injuries that are caused by cats getting shipped inside the box or the deaths of workers producing humanicaticatures

Next on Darkscovery Channel is about dark52 and his life!

Today on How It's Made!

A darkspyro.net post.

Here, we see the poster arriving at his computer, which is currently turned off. He presses the on button, which turns the computer on.

Now, he goes down and clicks on his browser of choice, opening it up. He types in darkspyro.net into the browser bar.

He has to take a bathroom break in between. We'll cut over to when he's back at the PC.

He heads on over to the section of his choice, and in this instance, he goes to stuff and nonsense.

The mouse is moved over by the user to the Create Topic button on the screen. The mouse clicks on the Create topic button, which sends him to the topic creation page.

This is where the magic happens, the user gets to work and starts brainstorming on ideas for an interesting thread that will keep others interested.

After brainstorming for 30 minutes, he finally gets a good idea, and puts it into motion.

After a long time of blood, sweat, and tears being churned into this idea, the thread is created. Only this thread gets 3 posts on it while a thread with simply the words "butt" on it gets over 100 posts.

BREAKING NEWS
WE INTERRUPT YOUR CURRENT PROGRAMMING TO ALERT THE PUBLIC THAT THE SYDNEY WALL HAS BEEN BROKEN! WE REPEAT, A CATEGORY 4 HAS BROKEN THROUGH THE SYDNEY WALL!

Announcer: There has been a temporary power outage at the dS.tv studios. We hope we can get back to the programs soon.

COMMERCIAL:

Are you tired of seeing these commercials? Well you don't have to see them anymore! We are the runners of the commercials and if you call right now we will stop all commercials on your TV for the low price of $958,465,127,376,975!

Call: 1-800-RIPOFF

BREAKING NEWS:

Peaceful protesting is forming in S&N section about "gem day"

Quote: MoonHorizons

BREAKING NEWS:

Peaceful protesting is forming in S&N section about "gem day"

UPDATE: Some protesters are becoming violent, but they "will be taken care off" says officials

Quote: dinorang67

BREAKING NEWS
WE INTERRUPT YOUR CURRENT PROGRAMMING TO ALERT THE PUBLIC THAT THE SYDNEY WALL HAS BEEN BROKEN! WE REPEAT, A CATEGORY 4 HAS BROKEN THROUGH THE SYDNEY WALL!

OH GOD YES

Violent protests in Sexy Fanfics section have stopped now.

Protests in S&N in general though are on the rise.

Some protesters are in front of the Fan-Fic section clothed to protest against pornography.

Quote: MoonHorizons

Violent protests in Sexy Fanfics section have stopped now.

Protests in S&N in general though are on the rise.

BREAKING NEWS:

A very violent protest is happening over the upcoming closure of the sexy fanfics topic

Highways are being built around the S&N section towards the Roleplay section for roleplayers who want to avoided being mugged, carjacked or murdered out in an allyway.

Breaking news! A group of wild gnarlytreenexs were seen attacking an innocent red sparx who was trying to get to the Forum Games section. A highway will be built there to avoid future incidents. Also, plans have been leaked for a highway going from the Forum Games section to the Roleplay section. No one is safe near the S&N section.

Here is Free an innocent man who was mugged by a crackhead when going to the Role-Play section. Fred what do you have to say? "I was sitting on my porch and **** HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!"

Breaking News: the sexy user fanfics section has been put in indefinite quarantine.

Breaking news: Breaking news is breaking the news.

The Dark Travel Channel

Bizarre Foods darkspyro.net edition:

Andrew Zimmerman here on the darkspyro.net continent of the interweb. Today, we're gonna be trying out some foods in S&N.

Our first meal is the Troll Stew, so, Chef MH, how is this made?

"We begin troll stew by taking troll arms and troll feet. We fry the troll arms and feet and throw it into our stew, which we then serve to our guests at Chez MoonView"

Sounds delicious, perhaps you could make some for me right now?

"Right away, Zimmerman."

Alright, my food has arrived. Let's see if it's good or not!

......

Delicious.

While it is a good meal, it could use a lot of improvements. Good food you've served here though. You've got some excellent cooks my friend.

"Merci, Zimmerman. We'll welcome you back at our diner anytime."

BREAKING NEWS:

Right now in Stuff and Nonsense there is a fight going on about Yoshi looking at another girl's butt and Cynderfan507 is getting mad and yelling. We've set up machine guns around the perimeter in case things get out of hand. This just in, the cops said they will arrive in 10 mins, so be back in 10 mins folks.

That's all today on....

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS!

Nintendo is suing Yoshi for stealing the name of their beloved character. Now Yoshi is really mad. We are afraid that we actually might have to use the machine guns we set up. Nintendo is suing Yoshi for $1,000,000,000,000.
Stay tuned for more information regarding this situation.