darkSpyro

Back in May 2013 I had this argument with someone whom I was pretty good friends with, at the time. The arguments ended up escalating to the point of me and her both implying that we weren't really friends anymore. At the time, I felt somewhat sad about it, but I thought that she was more responsible for the issue than I was. Summer went on, with me still feeling the same way about it. When school started in September, me and her were cast in a musical, as roles that had to spend a lot of time on stage together. Obviously, this forced us to start talking to each other more. We both did not mention our argument in May, and went on pretty well. We did have a few pretty bad arguments as the show went on, including one that ended in her crying, but we made up after them, and continued pretty normally. We have been getting along pretty well now. BUT now I look back on our argument in May 2013, and I feel so terrible, first of all because I now feel like I am about 98% responsible for it, and even more importantly I feel like things would have been SO MUCH BETTER if I had never let it happen. We probably never would have gotten into our fights during the show if it weren't for that incident. I feel like our friendship will never be the same because of it. Now I just feel SO TERRIBLE about it, and I realy do want to tell her I'm sorry for it. I'm just not sure what she might think if I came up to her (when nobody else was around) and apologized. Maybe she would be confused. Would it make sense to apologize to her for that incident that happened many months ago?

Personally, I think I would apologize. It's better late than never. After all, I don't see how it could harm anything. I don't know your friend personally, but maybe she also feels terrible about it. Maybe she wants to apologize too or she's waiting for you to. I also don't know the severity of the argument, but who knows? It might even start to repair your relationship.

I've been in a similar situation before. I have a friend that last year I got mad at for some pathetic reason multiple times before, and a while after I've always apologized and it was alright. I know my friend isn't yours and my situations weren't nearly as horrible as yours seems to be, but still.

Quote: LevanJess

Personally, I think I would apologize. It's better late than never. After all, I don't see how it could harm anything. I don't know your friend personally, but maybe she also feels terrible about it. Maybe she wants to apologize too or she's waiting for you to. I don't know the severity of the argument, but who knows? It might even start to repair your relationship.

Well, actually we're getting along quite well right now. We haven't mentioned our fight in May at all, but I know that she remembers it. I don't even think that she would have to apologize for it, as I feel I am about 98% responsible for it. Basically, I was upset and she came in, trying to encourage me. I was really upset, and didn't seem to be getting what she was saying. She started to seem like she was getting pretty impatient with me, I was already in a bad mood, so I added a good amount of downhill motion when I told her to stop *****ing at me. I just feel so horrible and guilty about it now, and I'd like to talk to her and apologize for it, but I don't know how she'd react to me talking about an issue from a while ago that we seem to both have gotten over, but the guilt of it is just swallowing me alive.

Ah, I see now. I think I know how you're feeling with that guilt. I've gone through similar situations before. I always found that just apologizing was the best thing to do. Yeah, it was a while ago, but she might actually really appreciate an apology despite how long ago it was. The fact that you're still thinking about it and feel guilty shows that you definitely care.
What do you think the worst-case scenario could be if you apologize, anyway? That's important to consider too.

Like I said, I don't know her and I have crappy 'advice', so definitely take whatever I say with a grain of salt. It's ultimately up to you!

Worst case scenario: I suppose that considering she's generally quiet, serious, and sort of the "hard to please" type (in some ways), somewhat humorless (VERY RARELY laughs) and yet also very affectionate (before our arguments, she would hug me so hard that I would choke whenever she saw me) and yet is also very selfless. I suppose that the worst response that I think she, herself would give, would be just saying something like "kay", considering I, myself am so upset by the incident I can almost get myself to cry, thinking about it, and I'd like more than some quick blunt response like "it's okay".

Quote: Crookshanks

Just wondering, why on earth.. of ALL of the places would you post that - on a Skylanders forum - Stuff and Nonsense section - where 95% of the time, noone really takes you seriously..

Honestly..

In case you haven't noticed, there's already somebody here taking it seriously. AND in case you haven't noticed there are a decent amount of topics in this very section that are about some serious personal issues. Clearly you haven't noticed.

Eh, I was going to give you some advice, but, it seems like you have some pretty good advice already.

Quote: Mrmorrises

Worst case scenario: I suppose that considering she's generally quiet, serious, and sort of the "hard to please" type (in some ways), somewhat humorless (VERY RARELY laughs) and yet also very affectionate (before our arguments, she would hug me so hard that I would choke whenever she saw me) and yet is also very selfless. I suppose that the worst response that I think she, herself would give, would be just saying something like "kay", considering I, myself am so upset by the incident I can almost get myself to cry, thinking about it, and I'd like more than some quick blunt response like "it's okay".

My friends also tended to give me quick, blunt responses such as "it's okay" all the time. However, if that's the worst that can happen, I think you're in a good place with her. It's definitely irritating when you just get a quick little "kay" response, but if you do apologize and that happens, do you think you could maybe find a way to egg it on to get a better response out of her without angering her?

I'm no professional though, obviously. Like Crookshanks said, if you have a counselor, therapist, or some other professional in your area, talking to them would probably help a lot if you can't make up your mind!

I wanna bring Dr Phil back so badly right now...

But in all seriousness, the advice given above was pretty good, I'd try that