darkSpyro

Twas tha night before Chrizzle, when all all up in tha house
Not a cold-ass lil creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Da stockings was hung by tha chimney wit care,
In hopes dat St Nicholas soon would be there.

Da lil pimps was nestled all snug up in they beds,
While visionz of sugar-plums danced up in they heads.
And mamma up in her ‘kerchizzle, n' I up in mah cap,
Had just settled our domes fo' a long-ass winter’s nap.

When up on tha lawn there arose such a cold-ass lil clatter,
I sprang from tha bed ta peep what tha **** was tha matter.
Away ta tha window I flew like a gangbangin' flash,
Tore open tha shuttas n' threw up tha sash.

Da moon on tha breast of tha new-fallen snow
Gave tha lustre of mid-dizzle ta objects below.
When, what tha **** ta mah wonderin eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, n' eight tinny reindeer.

With a lil oldschool driver, so lively n' quick,
I knew up in a moment it must be St Nick.
Mo' rapid than eaglez his coursers they came,
And da thug whistled, n' shouted, n' called dem by name!

"Now Dasher playa! now, Dancer playa! now, Prancer n' Vixen!
On, Comet son! On, Cupid hommie! on, on Donner n' Blitzen!
To tha top of tha porch! ta tha top of tha wall!
Now dash away dawwwwg! Dash away dawwwwg! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves dat before tha wild hurricane fly,
When they hook up wit a obstacle, mount ta tha sky.
So up ta tha house-top tha coursers they flew,
With tha sleigh full of Toys, n' St Nicholas like a mutha****a.

And then, up in a twinkling, I heard on tha roof
Da prancin n' pawin of each lil hoof.
As I drew up in mah head, n' was turnin around,
Down tha chimney St Nicholas came wit a funky-ass bound.

Dude was dressed all up in fur, from his head ta his wild lil' foot,
And his threadz was all tarnished wit ashes n' soot.
A bundle of Toys dat schmoooove mutha****a had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just openin his thugged-out lil' pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled hommie! his ****in lil' dimplez how tha **** merry!
His cheeks was like roses, his nozzle like a cold-ass lil cherry!
His droll lil grill was drawn up like a funky-ass bow,
And tha beard of his chin was as white as tha snow.

Da stump of a pipe dat schmoooove mutha****a held tight up in his cold-ass teeth,
And tha smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
Dude had a funky-ass broad grill n' a lil round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a funky-ass bowlful of jelly!

Dude was chubby n' plump, a right jolly oldschool elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, up in spite of mah dirty ass!
A wink of his wild lil' ****in eye n' a twist of his head,
Soon gave me ta know I had not a god damn thang ta dread.

Dude was rappin not a word yo, but went straight ta his work,
And filled all tha stockings, then turned wit a jerk.
And layin his wild lil' finger aside of his nose,
And givin a nod, up tha chimney he rose!

Dude sprang ta his sleigh, ta his cold-ass crew gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like tha down of a thistle.
But I heard his ass exclaim, ‘ere da ruffneck drove outta sight,
"Kool as **** Chrizzle ta all, n' ta all a good-night!"