darkSpyro

It all started when we moved to Hawaii. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Maddy, and I'm 12. My 14 year old brother Dave was thrilled about the move. "The chicks are hotter!" He would say. We never would have moved to Honolulu- but we had to. My great-great Grandma Jayjay passed away- and left us millions. That's just the tip of the iceberg. I was left with her adorable Yorkie, Caramal. Dave got her antique TV. My parents were left her special ice cream maker. We were all left the mansion.

We settled in. Luckily, my cousin and best friend Jillian moved with us. The mansion was huge. Just one bedroom was the size of a small house, the bathrooms sizes of small bedrooms. And I didn't even include closets. Oh, closets. They can hold many secrets- possibly secrets so secret, you could get killed just telling one living being! Unfortunately, one tragic incident ended Dave's, Jilly's, and my stay at the mansion.

The incident started with my late Granny Jayjay's closet. A Post-it sealed the door closed. "What a
big sticky note!" Dave cried out. Annoyed, I ripped the note off the door. Green liquid oozed out. The nite read, "Stay out of the closet. Doom awaits." "I doubt it." "She's trying to scare us away." Jilly's and Dave said. "Let's-" Dave was cut off by our mother. "Dinner!"

After dinner, the three of us gathered around the door. We all grabbed the handle. "1....2...3!!!" We opened the door. Oh, the horror. Inside was our father. Then he stood up, drooling goop. "We warned you. You screwed up. BIG TIME!" He grabbed Dave by the hands. Squish, squish. The sound of his doom. Candy was everywhere. Dave had left us.

Zombie Father led Jilly and me deeper into the closet. Inside...Was... My mom. Zombified. Her stomach was moving, grumbling even. In a split second, it happened again. My mom's stomach was heaving. Caramel emerged, fur matted with red, liquidy sugar. He ran to me. I scooped him up. "I'll protect you." I jumped. What I was about to see haunted me for the rest of my life. It was a suprise. Of doom.

Jilly disappeared. She reappeared, only having shared the same doom as Dave: A gruesome doom undescribible. The zombified beings that were once my parents closed in. I could feel air leaving my body, the room got darker.

Caramel whimpered. Unfortunately, he couldn't fight them off, so he suffered the same fate. I don't go into closets anymore...
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Epilogue
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The three children were buried in their home state, Colorado, along with Caramel. The FBI classified the case as a mystery. Junior detectives investigated the house, and were never seen again.
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How was it? Keep in mind, this was my very 1st.
EDIT: waka took out the best parts

My, for an 11 year old you have quite a...gruesome... imagination. But it was good, although it was more of a gore fest than actually being creepy.

Eh, too short, and the sudden gore wasn't scary.

Try making us get to know more the characters, because this story is in a way:

*People move to big house*
*majestic everything*
*don't open closets*
*opens closets*
*dies*

It went by too fast.

Guessing you threw this together after my creepypasta was made.

Brother Dave

I INSPIRED YOU HOLY ****.

i thought it was good but it was far from the best now lets look at the cleche's well i saw that the beginning was done in good amount of creepypasta's and the blood and gore was not that bad.
i give this cp 10/15
i've done a cp so please check it out (the cp is mortal football in video gaming)

(I actually kind of liked it, it's pretty good for someone your age, I think. A cool title too.
Wow, with this new trend, I'm tempted to finally finish my Misunderstood Intentions story, been meaning to do so for a while...)

That was draft 1.0. What should I add to 2.0

Wait... If they go in the closet... They can't...

Come out of the closet?

Nope. The bodies might have been removed, but the spirits are still there.
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Who inspired me for the characters:
Maddy- Me, Jaggedstar, my best friend
Dave- My brother, Dave Days, DummyZ
Jilly- My grandmother, my cousin Lauren, SiA
Caramel- My cousins' dogs Nia and Roxie, Hot Dog 542

I didn't actually read the story. I just read the title...

waka took out the good stuff
why

Omg candy doom.

Quote: Ash Starkindle

waka took out the good stuff
why

i made a topic called waka why so you can ask waka to stop or something

Thx eevee

np anything to help

Kay
How's the uncreepy edition

Quote: Ash Starkindle

Kay
How's the uncreepy edition

Beautiful. Simply amazing.

But my creepypasta is just pasta

Nice pasta.

Thx
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