darkSpyro

Gosh, I really don't want attention for it, or really want to be puzzled by it in the slightest. But three years later and I'm STILL confused and struggling to find the true answer for it. It's probably just me being stupid and paranoid.

- -

It was still kinda fishy in how you handled that back then. Was that on purpose?

california is the only thing thats kept me calm about this ****ty situation of mine!!!! I should just accept it since i did this to myself!!!!!!!

It's been really hard to find some good tips on how to make a cartoon-y character design for anything that isn't human that fits what I am trying to create. I can't even think of a good species or object to base it on. Still, I've been trying to keep drawing designs non-stop until I find one I sorta like to keep building upon it. This is the first time I've made a character without an 'original' design first, and it's probably the best one I've made which is aggravating. Any design I come up with doesn't mesh well with their purpose or personality.

There's probably a million tutorials and tips out there and I've been missing them all. :U


edit: NVM I RANDOMLY CAME UP WITH THE PERFECT DESIGN WTH. I'M SO HAPPY.

ew that sounded delicious in theory but it tasted disgusting
i had to go get a smoothie somewhere else to wash it down ugh

I feel so weak and powerless. I'm ashamed of myself, and embarrassed. I don't know how I let it go so far.

Today was good in the day, but it all went downhill, sometimes I want a day to relax and not do anything but be on the internet..

great, now i don't have any actual friends left here...
there's not much left for me here, so i guess im next in line to move after i get started on hrt and i get to be with the bae

i heard colorado is good but there's not enough film stuff there
so i guess im stuck with atlanta, LA, or ontario...

Well that ruined my night and all the motivation I had today. Thanks.

**** your vicious dog, holy ****ing ****. I can't believe I'm the only one he hates like that, apparently. He lunges at me every time I enter the house, and he bit my finger hard enough to leave a bruise and a bloody cut when I tried to pet him after giving him a treat. It just pisses me off, I didn't do anything to the damn dog and this is the second time he's seen me (he was growling and barking the first time too)... And don't give me the "it's because of your cats" excuse when your boyfriend has cats too and your dog loves him. Can't be helped, though. It's not your guys' fault or anything.

-------------------

Well, that... That could've gone better. Way better, actually. I don't really like amusement parks to begin with (after a few rides, I start to feel like I'm going to puke, so I have to stop pretty quickly; and besides, I don't like rollercoasters or super bumpy rides, I don't care much for the "thrill" of most rides; and there's so many people; and I sunburn easily so I get sunburnt to Hell and back; everything's usually pretty expensive; it's just usually not a great time for me) but I went because you invited me. I thought "hey, she wants to spend time with me so I'll go, sounds fun," but you ignored me practically the whole time. Now, I don't want to be an attention whore, I don't want it to be about me entire time (I really don't, I don't like being the center of attention usually); but WHY WOULD YOU INVITE ME IF YOU DIDN'T EVEN SPEND TIME WITH ME????????? WHY WASTE MY TIME??? I have PLENTY of other **** I could've done yesterday!! The heat was terrible, I hate heat. Also, no one told me to bring a pair of dry clothes because the first thing you guys wanted to do was get on a water ride with our clothes on, so I have to do laundry and I smelled like mildew the whole time and the heat didn't dry them at all so it was horrible getting them on after the water park and the sunburn sucked (yes I put on an assload of sunblock, didn't really help) and the sun hurt my eyes after a while and ugh! Waaah, I know, I'm a wuss, whatever. I could deal with it, I just feel like it wasn't worth it, really.

I knew that since you were bringing your boyfriend that you would spend a lot of time with him (because you are, sadly, the type to ignore your friends of years past for a boy you met a week ago) but I didn't think you'd ignore me COMPLETELY! I knew I was the third wheel but when we swam at the lake, you guys talked to me a lot and included me quite a bit, so I thought it would be like that here too. Nope. You two just couldn't keep your hands and lips off of each other and it's so damn awkward how openly you guys talk about your sexual habits... Just don't know why you invited me when you hardly talked to me at all, not even once when we were standing in line for around an hour. I wish I brought another friend, but I didn't even ask because I assumed she was busy and wouldn't have the money... I still should've tried. She probably would've had to spend the night with me because I was up for 30-something hours by the time I got home and she lives 15 minutes away but whatever.

At least I got my ticket for $25 from someone in the parking lot instead of $40-50.

-------------------

You, on the other hand, I appreciate a lot. Thank you for letting me use your towel when I was laying down and thank you for trying to include me.
I really appreciate it everything your mother did for me, too. You two made the trip pretty enjoyable. I don't want to be ungrateful...

-------------------

The fact that you have to ask me (TWICE) if you neglected me or not shows your awareness and guilty conscience pretty clearly.

-------------------

"We were just coming over to see why you weren't swimming with us!"
Lmao nice attempt at trying to convince me that you give a crap

1.) It's been about 30 minutes or so since you two left to go swimming without saying anything to me. So you're telling me it took you two thirty minutes to notice that I wasn't there???
2.) You two were done swimming so even if I said "sure, I'll go," you were done anyway. But I didn't want to, because I was fairly dry and just ready to go the **** home.
3.) You two ran off and didn't invite me to go with you so I assumed you two wanted to swim alone. Besides, my eyes hurt like hell because of the sun and chlorine so I needed to rest them.
4.) Even if you did invite me, you two would've ignored me the whole time and there were so many damn people in the pool that I would've had no room to swim around (plus I would've gotten more sunburnt), so where's the fun for me???

You guys (should) know that I'm not assertive. I don't want to be clingy and annoying by forcing myself onto you guys. If you aren't including me, I'll tell you how I feel instead of just moping and leaving you guys guessing, but then you guys kinda have to make an effort to include me... But really, if you have to THINK before including me and make an effort to remember to talk to me, it shows you don't really want me around anyway, so what is the point?

-------------------

"Yeah, I'm exhausted! For the next few weeks, I'm just going to sit around, watch Ben 10, and read my English summer homework books."
"... And get pregnant! LOL!"

Ok ew, **** you. I know you're not calling me a slut or anything like that because you were "joking" but how the hell is that funny to you? That was so damn random; how the **** do you get "she'll have unprotected sex and get pregnant" from "watching Ben 10 and reading summer homework"???? I have said several times that I don't have a boyfriend, that I don't WANT a boyfriend, and that I don't want sex (I told you this after you kindly offered to "get someone to **** me" the other day), and that I don't want children (ESPECIALLY when I'm only 17) so I really don't appreciate that dumbass "joke." Plus, it seems to show pretty well that sex is always on your mind and that you probably only see women as sex objects. Also, you said this in front of your girlfriend, who knows I don't want sex, but she didn't even say anything about it... She could do better than you, I don't know why she doesn't try.

So you're an asshole and I'd love it if you refrained from making those nasty, crude jokes about me in the future. Yes, I told you this and I hope you listen. You didn't intend to offend me, I know, you're pretty nice to me and all, but just don't with the crude ****, 'kay?

-------------------

"You're a puss"

And you're a dumbass who willingly gets himself into dangerous situations. That doesn't make you strong or whatever the opposite of "puss" is. Fyi, I CAN deal with pain if I have to, but if I don't HAVE to then I don't WANT to. Is there something wrong with that? You're not superior if you act like the guys on Jackass, jackass.
Again, don't think you meant to offend... But you did

****

"No one chooses to be a drug addict!"