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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > darkspyro fan fic: A job for Emerald.
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darkspyro fan fic: A job for Emerald.
HeyitsHotDog Platinum Sparx Gems: 5004
#1 Posted: 21:11:23 16/02/2019 | Topic Creator
*Begin in Emerald, 84Skylanderdude, and Gaiamemories apartment, going over how much they have left of their rent.*


Gaia: OK, so we've got about 1,500, and we're just $750 short. 84 and I have our part of the rent in full, how much do you have, Emerald? We need that $750 from ya.


Emerald: Uh, I got about.....230......


84: Only $230?! We got one week until we have to finished up rent, and that's all you've made in the past 3 weeks?


Emerald, anxiously: Eheh..yeah... How do you guys get your money? You guys seem to have a lot.


Gaia: I still do my movie reviews for the company HIHD hooked me up with and I also sell things online, both are quiet profitable.


84: I make unsettling, surreal art and sell it to people who do heavy drugs....It's not the most moralistic, perhaps, but hey, I'm making money, who am I to care? And, Emerald, who do you make YOUR money?


Emerald: I have a youtube channel, I do comedy videos and, like Gaia, I review movies. I call it "That was....a movie." I talk films and compare them to Food Fight and why it's so good.


*Cut away to Emeral's review Lilo and Stitch.*


Emerald: Hey everyone, Emerald here! I just watched Disney's Lilo and Stitch, and it was....a movie. It's 2D animation, so it's inferior Food Fight in that aspect. It also lacks food puns, making it inferior to Food Fight *loud thump coming from outside Emerald's room, with vague panicking from Gaia and 84*


Emerald: Not to mention, the story isn't Food Fight, making it inferior tuh-


*HIHD bursts into Emerald's room, with monstrous fury*


HIHD: The thuck did you say about Lilo and Stitch? I'M GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN STRAIGHT TO THE BLACK PIT OF HELL!!


*HIHD pounces Emerald as he yells, and the camera cuts out. Return to the three roommates conversing*


84: And how much money have you made in the past few months?


Emerald, proudly: $230!


84: Gahhh, Emerald, that's not gonna support us, man.


Emerald: But, bu-but I like doing it! People like me on there! They like my puns!


Gaia: You can still do it, but for now, you need a job you can make money from and you can't make money from puns and puns alone.. Those people can wait. I'm sorry man.


Emerald, somberly:..........Oh......OK. I'll, uh, I'll go walk around the city and see what I-I can find.


84: Thank you.


Gaia: Thanks, Emerald.


*Emerald goes out, and looks for various jobs, not finding the one he wants. They're all anti-pun, aggressively so.*


mean while, HIHD and the gang are preparing to go to the grocery store.


HIHD: OK so we're going to Foodasaurus Rex for snacks, toiletries and more, and we'll go to Whole Foods for veggies and meat. aight?


The gang: Got it!


Pankakesparx: Uhhh, HIHD, do we need to go to Whole Foods? Can't we just get everything as Foodasarus Rex?


HIHD: I wish we could, but after Zap was caught trying to butcher one of the, well, butchers over a chicken that was already dead, and then setting the Produce section on fire because 3 of the people who worked there were named Matt, we're lucky we can even GO to the store. Just put on a disguise or somethin. I doubt Greeble will be able to smell you. Just rub Ruby (HIHD's Chihuahua) on you to cover your.......anti-whole foods smell, as Greeble put it.


Pankakesparx: sigh OK. Ruby girl come here!


*Cut to the evening, the gang arrives at Whole Foods, at the same time, Emerald, down in the dumps, enters the store as well.


Bolt: Hi Emerald! Funny seeing you here! Or should I say punny?


HIHD: Well, Hey Emerald! What brings you here? No Gaia and 84?


Emerald: Hey guys, haha, yeah puns, but also sigh puns. Gaia and 84 are at home, and I'm on my own looking for a job...but none of them want my puns... Hoping Whole Foods'll give me a chance.


Pankake: YOU DON'T WANT THAT! THIS PLACE IS A HELLSCAPE!!!


Toynerd: It doesn't seem THAT bad.


Sess: I mean, I've seen worse places.


Pankake: Oh trust me. The employees are fine, but....but the CUSTOMERS. They're, they're INHUMAN.


*A WF worker is walking in the store, is tripped by a customer, then falls into a bear trap. Multiple customers then surround the WF employee, making him impossible to see*


Emerald: I'll take my chances. I'm going to the front desk.


HIHD Alright, good luck!


*HIHD looks as the custocluster, then the customers split up and leave the worker, who is now a lifeless skeleton.*


HIHD: The thuck?!


end of part one
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When ever you get scared or nervous about something, you gotta do your best to keep on smiling and Go Beyond Plus Ultra!
HeyitsHotDog Platinum Sparx Gems: 5004
#2 Posted: 22:01:52 16/02/2019 | Topic Creator
Emerald: Hello! I'm looking for a job?


King Pen Krazy: A job? I guess we'd have one of those. Lemme look for my boss. *KPK talks into his walkie talkie and calls up Greeble*. Yo Greebs, we got someone lookin for a job here.


Greebs, muffled: Ohohohoh! a New Whole Foos Hero? I'll be there soon!


KPK: He'll arrive soon.


Emerald: Alright, I'll stay here until he arriv-

*Emerald turns around and instantly runs into Greeble*


Greeble: Ohhoho! You must be the potential Whole Foos Hero, huh?


Emerald: Well, uh, i was hoping so y-yeah.


Greeble! Oh yay! Come with me! We shall go into my office and discuss HOW MUCH YOU LOVE Whole Foos! It's less than how much I love it, I promise you that!


Emerald, nervously: O-ok...


*cut to HIHD and the gang in the meat section, with Zapnorris tied up to not cause any harm to the dreaded "chicken killers".


HIHD: So, what kind of meat do you guys want?


Sess: Your buns and sausage, please.


HIHD: What?


Sess: What?


Toynerd: I'd love some beef and fish! I've been cooking for myself more and have been experimenting with all sorts of spices, seasoning and the like. I'd lost some weight and I'm happy for myself.


HIHD: Toynerd, my boy I couldn't be more proud of ya. Give us the best beef and fish ya got! Salmon especially!


Butcher: You got it kid!


Zapnorris: Hey, HIHD. How bout some pork?


Sess: No no no no, you know how HIHD is with pigs.


*hihd, dramatically, and intimidatingly turns towards Zap.


HIHD, gently: What did you say? Pork? You that filth isn't allowed in my home. Not even bacon. You can't say that and expect to get away with it.


Zapnorris: Let's get some pork


HIHD, furiously: YOU SON OF A!


*HIHD LUNGES AT ZAPNORRIS, ZAPNORRIS QUICKY PUTS HIS HANDCUFFS IN LINE OF HIHD'S ATTACK, MAKING HIM BREAK THEM*


Zapnorris: HAHAHA, JUST AS PLANNED!


HIHD, thinking: OH NO! HE PLANNED THAT ALL ALONG? HE'S GOING TO ATTACK THE BUTCHER! I CAN'T LET HIM DO THAT!


*HIHD GOES FOR ANOTHER LUNGE AND TACKLES ZAP! THEY BEGIN TO FIGHT EPICALLY!*


*CUT TO Emerald and Greeble*


Greeble: So, tell me, when did Whole Foos enter your life?


Emerald: 7 minutes ago when I walked into the store.


Greeble:......ah......next question! Why do you wish to work at Whole Foos?


Emerald: Money.


Greeble: Oh...... Next one; Do you feel you and benefit Whole Foos as a Titan Grocery store that will destroy all other supermarkets once the Whole Foos Guardians return from their slumber?


Emerald: Probably not, and what?


Greeble: Aww, I'm sure you have *something*. We all got at least one thing that makes us unique and worth something!


Emerald: I-I'm not so sure. I'm good at puns, but other than that, I'm worth-*MASSIVE CRASH*


Greeble: What was that?


*Emerald and Greeble run back to the main store*


Emerald: WOAH!

*Half of the store is wreaked over*

HIHD: A hero's job is to risk his life, and turn his promises into a reality! I WON'T LET YOU HURT HIM!


Zapnorris, with a sinister smile: I must do what I need to do to bring peace to chickens and humans, and so my love for Henrietta can be accepted by all! NOW DIE! *ZAPNORRIS PREPARES A PUNCH*


Sess: NGL, HIHD beaten up like this is thuckin hot.


HIHD: CHICKEN AND HUMAN RELATIONS ARE AT A STEADY PACE! YOU ACTING OUT THE WAY YOU DO WILL ONLY HURT YOU AND YOUR CHICKEN'S IMAGE *HIHD ALSO PREPARES A PUNCH*


Both Zapnorris and HIHD: HUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!


*PUNCH IMPACT, CAUSING A SONIC BURST*


Greeble: What the hell is this? HOW COULD YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY STORE?


Zap and HIHD: Huh?


Greeble: Look at it! All of it! Both of you must be punished! *Greeble throws a cart at Zapnorris, launching in away*


HIHD: Oh Boy.


*Greeble grabs HIHD throat tightly and lifts him into the air*


Greeble: YOU DESTROY WHOLE FOODS, I DESTROY YOU!!! *sniffs HIHD* I smelll......Foodsaurus Rex! YOU'VE BEEN TO ANOTHER GROCERY STORE? YOU MONSTER!!!


*Greeble beings to punch HIHD's face repeatedly*


Emerald, thinking: I've gotta do something! HIHD is my friend? But what could I even do? *Emerald looks around*


Emerald: I have an idea! Hey, Greeble!


Greeble: Huh?


Emerald: I know Foodasaurus and Whole Foods are Grocery stores, but they're so different, it's like comparing apples and oranges! *Emerald lifts up an apple and orange*


Greeble: *chuckles*


HIHD: "Coughs up blood*


Emerald: Oh like that one, huh? You wouldn't bay leaf (lifts up a bay leaf) how good olive *lifts up an olive* my pins are!


Greeble: Aaaahahahahahahah!


Emerald: I've bean *lifts up bean* thinking of so many puns since I arrived, when I think of my job rejections, I don't carrot *lifts up carrot* all!


Greeble: AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!


HIHD: Hey Greeble,


Greeble: Hm?


HIHD: Lettuce go home? *hihd lifts up a lettuce*


*Greeble punches HIHD again, then drops him*


Greeble: Emerald, I have the perfect job for you! You can make food puns for us! We can have them all over the store!


Emerald! R-really? How much does it pay?


Greeble: $50 an hour!


Emerald: WOW! That much?


Greeble: Food Punners are quiet sought after, but are quiet rare. You, sir, have a gift! As for your friends, they must take their food and leave.


HIHD: Thank you, Sir *Greeble kicks HIHD's face* DUHAH!


Emerald: Thank you! Thank you so much! I'll let my roomies know! When do I start?


Greeble: Let's say this coming Friday.


Emerald: Oh boy! I'll be there! Thank you, thank you!


*Emerald runs home to tell 84 and Gaia of his new job, HIHD and the gang go to the hospital*


End of fanfic! tune in next time!
---
When ever you get scared or nervous about something, you gotta do your best to keep on smiling and Go Beyond Plus Ultra!
emeraldzoroark Gold Sparx Gems: 2547
#3 Posted: 22:09:50 16/02/2019
I wholeheartedly think this fanfic was a grape idea
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This avatar will be a reminder of my ultimate goal.
Even if I can’t bring it to Gen 8.
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#4 Posted: 22:12:19 16/02/2019
i am ready for this
ThunderEgg Blue Sparx Gems: 549
#5 Posted: 17:39:39 19/02/2019
still top notch
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I AM ETERNAL!
Bolt Platinum Sparx Gems: 5304
#6 Posted: 19:58:49 20/02/2019
oh my god food puns. best episode gimmick yet ahahaha.
(love the sexy tension between sess and hihd ehehehehe)

good job man can't wait for more!! and sorry it took so long to read whoops
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
HeyitsHotDog Platinum Sparx Gems: 5004
#7 Posted: 01:14:16 21/02/2019 | Topic Creator
Quote: Bolt
oh my god food puns. best episode gimmick yet ahahaha.
(love the sexy tension between sess and hihd ehehehehe)

good job man can't wait for more!! and sorry it took so long to read whoops



It's a bit one-sided though, huh?
---
When ever you get scared or nervous about something, you gotta do your best to keep on smiling and Go Beyond Plus Ultra!
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