darkSpyro

I've been hearing a lot about how Nintendo Switch online apparently "sucks", well those people are wrong and I'm right because I said so.

"Online play should be FREE you gay c@nts!!!"
Online games suck ass why would you even think to play games with REAL PEOPLE in the first place? People suck, that's a fact. I don't need people, all they want is to insert me into their own miserable lives.
I'd play the "It's War!" chapter in Conker Live & Reloaded any day over Splatoon 2, don't get me started on Smash Ultimate, playing with other people? Babies, when are you going to learn how much you are limiting yourself when playing with so called "friends", I'd rather play with level 1 CPU's.

"We don't want to play NES games for the 90273927th time and the NES joy cons are too expensive you money hungry neanderthals.
Some people don't have access to NES games even though they've been on the Wii, Wii U and 3ds already, also, it's completely fair that 2 $@#tty controllers would be more expensive than most games, everyone loves the NES it's fine stop whining nobody likes Gamecube games anyway Melee sucks.

"Cloud save should FREE and should support ALL games"
Is it that hard not to break your switch? You're the same person who drops their phone, phones suck, I don't have one I don't waste my money.
If you lose your progress then play the game again you lazy bastard.
As I said, Splatoon 2 sucks, the game is mostly online, what kind of joke is that? What is there to lose? Just hack the game if you lose your data don't cry about it. Pokemon Let's Go Pickanose and Sneezy won't have cloud saves either, is Nintendo finally learning how unimaginative Pokemon is and that they are just milking it, releasing the same game twice with minor adjustments and re-releasing both of them at FULL PRICE! Pokemon is easy anyway, I don't see the problem, besides, the only good Pokemon game is Hey You, Pikachu.

"Why do they need a smartphone app for voice chat? They should accept Discords offer instead."
Now you want to talk to people while you play with them? If you love them that much then go and marry them. Why would you talk to them anyway? What do they have to say? They'll scream at everything that's all they know.
Discord? Who uses discord? I don't want a real time chat room, I don't want to chat at all, people on there aren't even funny, holy crap your memes, they aren't funny k.

"Why won't they tell us the special offers???"
Probably because they're done putting up with your bull!@#$.

Pay me

Such a satirical post

big peepee

This man should work in Nintendo's PR.