darkSpyro

Quote: Drawdler

TMI :

Reveal Spoiler

I can never go on porn sites/search for porn because it feels wrong to me. I don't feel guilty for looking at art or photos people willingly put up but it makes me feel immature and I'd have to keep it secret from my family which would just feel wrong. Plus it's not something I could talk about so if I found good stuff I couldn't really talk about it which would be really awkward to me. Oh god I'm holding back my laughing and failing so hard writing this down and I can tell my mom is silently trying to figure out what I'm thinking of.

I can sort of relate to this.

Quote: Drawdler

TMI :

Reveal Spoiler

I can never go on porn sites/search for porn because it feels wrong to me. I don't feel guilty for looking at art or photos people willingly put up but it makes me feel immature and I'd have to keep it secret from my family which would just feel wrong. Plus it's not something I could talk about so if I found good stuff I couldn't really talk about it which would be really awkward to me. Oh god I'm holding back my laughing and failing so hard writing this down and I can tell my mom is silently trying to figure out what I'm thinking of.

Relating to the topic I spend most of my time browsing drawn porn and usually use it for good refrence, I have 3 friends to discuss it and you'd be surprised how many are willing to talk about it once prompted.
Mostly on the internet to be honest, but the 3 I know I also know IRL.
Also porn is pretty good anatomy-training.
Judge me I dun't care

I did live drawing and saw body parts I wish I could unsee, I'm not allowed to judge

Dunno, despite my age I don't really have any wish to look up NSFW stuff despite having read saucy literature when I was waaaay younger. Whenver I doubt if I'm ace I just remember I think about porn being discussed nearby with "I don't really care, I'd rather watch animations or cats".

You didn't saw this.

You know what I meant :I

Quote: Crash10

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Well, animation and cats can be part of porn.

You didn't saw this.

really??
could you give an example?

... asking for a friend.

Quote: Badwolfmichael

Quote: Crash10

Reveal Spoiler

Well, animation and cats can be part of porn.

You didn't saw this.

really??
could you give an example?

... asking for a friend.

Hentai and furry porn in general. That's it, basically.

Quote: Bifrost

You know what I meant :I

Strange how this simple comment made me feel so awkward.

Quote: Crash10

Quote: Badwolfmichael

Quote: Crash10

Reveal Spoiler

Well, animation and cats can be part of porn.

You didn't saw this.

really??
could you give an example?

... asking for a friend.

Hentai and furry porn in general. That's it, basically.

Or Neko

Unrelated to the subject above...

Confession 1: I started to like the Shrek movies a lot more after I discovered the memes. Even The Third and Forever After.

Confession 2: Sometimes I feel childish because of my tastes, like animation and certain games, and this is a problem for me to socialize. Like, everyone on school is excited for Stranger Things or Narcos, while I'm excited for... Skylanders: Academy.

Confession 3: I have a bizarre fear that people on the forums will start to hate me (more than they already do) if I try to be resonable or defend a Skylanders hater.

I have a fetish for toilet water

Quote: Crash10

Unrelated to the subject above...

Confession 2: Sometimes I feel childish because of my tastes, like animation and certain games, and this is a problem for me to socialize. Like, everyone on school is excited for Stranger Things or Narcos, while I'm excited for... Skylanders: Academy.

Confession 3: I have a bizarre fear that people on the forums will start to hate me (more than they already do) if I try to be resonable or defend a Skylanders hater.

Sorry if you've felt insulted by me before but just know that no one here hates you, I'm p sure most people here would just want what's best for you, try to get rid of the irrational fears, I know it's easier said than done but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Quote: Crash10

Confession 2: Sometimes I feel childish because of my tastes, like animation and certain games, and this is a problem for me to socialize. Like, everyone on school is excited for Stranger Things or Narcos, while I'm excited for... Skylanders: Academy

This.

^Good comment chain

Damn Drawdler, back at it again with the TMI



Really more of a shower thought/random thought but whatever.

Quote: StriderSwag

Quote: SoulFly

Quote: Bryman04

Reading all this like:

More like this :^)

- - -

I ain't done nothing.

My confession is that I'm very sensitive to higher-level violence. I don't know, seeing blood and those things aren't really good to me. I watched some gameplay videos of Outcast and some scenes of the Corpse Party anime and I actually felt sick.

Quote: Crash10

My confession is that I'm very sensitive to higher-level violence. I don't know, seeing blood and those things aren't really good to me. I watched some gameplay videos of Outcast and some scenes of the Corpse Party anime and I actually felt sick.

im like the exact opposite, intense gore doesnt phase me in the slightest
im basically desensitized because my friend used to run a gore blog and basically made me follow out of friendship so every once and a while my tumblr dash would have a surprise disembowelment

strangely though, there are two types i cant deal with whatsoever: eye gore and anything out of the later mortal kombat games
eye gore freaks me out and actually makes me vomit and i have no idea why, probably because i guess to me, looking into someone's eyes is a symbol of trust??? idk
with mk tho, its just too over the top
like yeah i can handle really gross horror movie stuff, but for some reason SPECIFICALLY mk takes it far too over the top
though i do like cassie cage(?)'s fatality with the exploding testicles or ovaries, its just so immature that it feeds my stupid sophomoric sense of humor

It kind of depends for me. I'm typically pretty okay with it, it's only every once in a while that it disgusts me some.

As for mortal kombat, I have a friend who was obsessed for MKX for months before release so him and I watched fatalities every day. I just find the mk stuff funny because of how over the top crazy it is.

on a different note, im sick and tired of blizzard's ****ty competitive mode for overwatch

first off, the matchmaking sucks
when its me, a random person, and some other group of 4, we shouldn't be forced to play with a full group of six
this has happened to me the last three times ive played competitive overwatch and im sick of it

secondly, if blizzard is gonna make the golden guns part of each hero's "collection", could they at LEAST make it so that it counts as an extra? every time i see 59/60 on my d.va screen my heart hurts because i know itll take me 50 years to get those stupid guns
but once i do, then it doesnt even carry over to pc once i ditch the playstation one for that!!
if theyre gonna have stuff thats hard as **** to get, they could at LEAST make it so that your level and unlocks carry over to your console or pc stuff

i just want to get my stupid golden guns that keep staring me in the face so i can quit playing with the toxic jerks and actually have some fun because compared to quick or brawl or custom, competitive is not fun at ALL

lastly, ****ING. NERF. ZARYA.
shes impossible to counter, and it's ridiculous!! even at low power she has such high DPS, not to mention shes basically unkillable if you let her go for a second because then her stupid shields go back up
she melts literally anything because shes so overpowered and because of her billions of layers of shields, NOTHING CAN ****ING HIT HER
i say that blizzard should either nerf her damage or nerf her shield regen, because a group of 4 can BARELY take her down
she needs to be way more balanced

(Yes, I can't sleep. This might belong in PT instead but the main point of the confession is, I'm pretty sure I'm more stressed than I realised or have been acting, and I just can't be arsed moving this post.)

Okay, you wanna know something that's really been getting me down, but I couldn't put it into words and didn't realise how much it sucked until now? Sometimes I feel terrible about myself for wanting more.

I have great friends, like, "even when I imagined I having friends as a kid, I never imagined they'd be as special as you"-great friends. I have tons of time to work on my art and I genuinely am kinda proud of it (at least to the point I'm not disliking most of the pieces I make) and definitely have made progress. I live in a home in a good area with a family that may piss me off in some way every day, but somehow has managed to stick together and isn't really as bad as it used to be. Most obviously, I get so much stuff simply through asking, honestly making me very spoiled in a sense. (Although I'm not going to object to it due to all the other **** that happens and because I'm slowly starting to try earning things myself, and if I hadn't been spoiled with games when I was younger I would probably feel like I had nothing to live for back then, so it "balances" my life in a morbid sense... Not that life is really balanced.)

But whenever timezones get in the way I steadily start feeling down, yet I feel I really need to give myself a LOT more space when talking with multiple friends at once sometimes. I still nitpick my art and still need to study art more but I'm scared I'll collapse under the work or just teach myself incorrectly. Whenever some annoying daily family thing happens again I steadily get more pissed and sometimes reminded of how much I used to focus on hating this place. And there's still more I wish my parents could buy for me yet I wanna have my own money and be able to save my own money and just get it myself because I hate relying on them but everything I want to buy currently isn't affordable to me. I want more, I want more, I want more, because I'm often scared that whenever I want something that feeling will be fleeting, so I want to go until I'm wholly satisfied to the point I go and find new stuff, and I'm scared about thinking this way.

Now that I finally realised all of this, I don't think it's going to leave my mind, but I don't know how to talk about it.

And god, I feel... Empty about it now.

And for the record, this isn't [undefined thing] I mentioned in a recent PT, that's something I don't really understand, I'm really not willing to talk about with anyone (just putting it out there would make me incredibly stressed) and I should really just see a professional about (I hate seeing professionals for mental health, but I feel like it's really my only option for more clarity on [undefined thing]).

Also, I seriously still want physical comfort, which is becoming pretty stressful as well because it makes me feel lonelier and I just feel like I'll never get it (yes, I've asked my family for hugs, and their hugs suck, and I appreciate internet hugs, but they simply aren't what I crave).

TL ; DR I think I've been more stressed/depressed/currently very confused about my feelings... than I realised recently because I just couldn't put my finger on something that's stressing me. Also considering seeing a professional for my mental health again and because there's something I really don't want to talk about to anyone and feel I have no other option for, which I hate because seeing professionals always made me more stressed than they helped, and feeling worse about lack of physical comfort.

Also, if I just suddenly become way rarer in the next few days, this is why.

I tend to write my thoughts down and them delete them.

Quote: BlackWing116

I tend to write my thoughts down and them delete them.

I tend to do that to when I am typing on this site.

Quote: BlackWing116

I tend to write my thoughts down and them delete them.

I do that sometimes.
I have also cut my wrists and hands on occasion. I hope I never do that again.

Sometimes I'm too lazy to open music on my phone, so I find the YouTube link and put it on a post preview in a separate tab, so I can play it in the background during web browsing.

I may or may not have just spent almost 100$ on pieces of cardboard.

I also may or may not have screwed over what I said I'd get for a friend...

I can't sleep with any lights on or any noise at all. It sucks now because my roommate often falls asleep with her lamp on and the girls in the room next to me are loud until at least 2am >.>

I think I just realized part of the reason I don't really like games that use real-life locations.

I often play around with RPG Maker when I'm feeling creative, so I know what it feels like trying to design a unique world with its own lore, history, and other stuff like that, which is part of why I can appreciate games with unique worlds more than games that use real-life locations.

Puppets scare me.

I just wanna say my friends are best friends and from the bottom of my heart I love you and (you know this but) I'm really upset with my family and if it weren't for hanging out I would probably feel totally miserable. Thanks for sticking through my terrible JoJokes. Also sorry that I'm too lazy to say this to all of you individually.

Drawdler withdraws coollly, yes, with an extra l.

I don't like parties. Too much noise, music that I don't like, lots of people drinking and/or smoking, people trying to get some partners for a fast and easy opportunity to have some sex, and so on. Not my kind of thing.

Quote: Crash10

I don't like parties. Too much noise, music that I don't like, lots of people drinking and/or smoking, people trying to get some partners for a fast and easy opportunity to have some sex, and so on. Not my kind of thing.

Depends on the party ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

All of the parties I've been to have just been me and my nerd friends hanging out and playing games.

Quote: Carmelita Fox

All of the parties I've been to have just been me and my nerd friends hanging out and playing games.

Those are fun.
But generally hard on the wallet. Pizza isn't free.

Quote: Badwolfmichael

Quote: Crash10

I don't like parties. Too much noise, music that I don't like, lots of people drinking and/or smoking, people trying to get some partners for a fast and easy opportunity to have some sex, and so on. Not my kind of thing.

Depends on the party ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yup. I'm talking about the those dancing ones.

I get super annoyed when people find things talking about things that are sexual or body-related to be gross. Like, there's no point, and there shouldn't be anything gross about it.

Quote: 84skylanderdude

I get super annoyed when people find things talking about things that are sexual or body-related to be gross. Like, there's no point, and there shouldn't be anything gross about it.

I just find it awkward if it's sexual.

Quote: Crash10

Quote: 84skylanderdude

I get super annoyed when people find things talking about things that are sexual or body-related to be gross. Like, there's no point, and there shouldn't be anything gross about it.

I just find it awkward if it's sexual.

See, that's the thing. I don't see how or why it would be thought of as awkward. There's literally no reason for it to be.

Guess that's another part of the human mind I'll never come to understand.

It's because stuff like that is considered private, which is why most people don't always feel entirely comfortable talking about such things.
There is a legitimate reason behind it, it's just one that you yourself don't understand.

Pretty much. It's something I consider private. So...

I hate both Trump and Hillary.
(no political arguments pls)

It's been suggested I join a dating app/service and I'm considering it but I'm pretty apprehensive for various reasons.

Quote: 84skylanderdude

Quote: Crash10

Quote: 84skylanderdude

I get super annoyed when people find things talking about things that are sexual or body-related to be gross. Like, there's no point, and there shouldn't be anything gross about it.

I just find it awkward if it's sexual.

See, that's the thing. I don't see how or why it would be thought of as awkward. There's literally no reason for it to be.

Guess that's another part of the human mind I'll never come to understand.

this is something that i also find odd, both are just a natural and necessary things, its strange that some people are afraid of sexuality especially.
tho this is more of an issue with american culture, over here talk about sexuality is a bit less taboo while with americans i feel like i have to be very careful with the subject .
to address the other subject of the post, periods for example are like horrifying to (male) americans while eurobros/aussies tend to be a lot less lenient with the subject in my experience.

no disserinos to america but its just something ive noticed

Quote: CAV

It's been suggested I join a dating app/service and I'm considering it but I'm pretty apprehensive for various reasons.

u should join tinder

I am addicted to ☆ＳＥＩＮＷＡＶＥ☆２０００☆

The more that's leaked, the more I realize I despise pokemon sun/moon. Will I still get it? Maybe. Are they doing a million things wrong that I absolutely can't stand? Yes. Yes they are. But there's still a small part of me, deep down, that's saying "maybe it won't be so bad when you play it" and I really want to believe it, but...

Oh, and if this flops we still have one chance for pokemon to redeem itself. Say it with me now, GEN 4 remakes.

Quote: arceustheprime

u should join tinder

Pass.
I hear Happn is better for going further and only showing you people with similar interests that you passed within 250 meters of through the day.

--------------

On that note I also feel like the fact I'd need to join a service or app makes me feel pathetic. Like I shouldn't need one to meet people.

I internally laugh whenever someone talks about homework because I've managed to get it all done during school so far this year. Done none at home at all yet

Quote: 84skylanderdude

Quote: Crash10

Quote: 84skylanderdude

I get super annoyed when people find things talking about things that are sexual or body-related to be gross. Like, there's no point, and there shouldn't be anything gross about it.

I just find it awkward if it's sexual.

See, that's the thing. I don't see how or why it would be thought of as awkward. There's literally no reason for it to be.

Guess that's another part of the human mind I'll never come to understand.

depends on who you're talking to .

I have a crush on a girl who sits next to me in Social Studies class. We've talked occasionally, but I still barely know anything about her personality wise... Should I ask for her number?

I met almost all of the non-video game songs that I like by video games.

Quote: TheToyNerd

I have a crush on a girl who sits next to me in Social Studies class. We've talked occasionally, but I still barely know anything about her personality wise... Should I ask for her number?

Of course. If you don't know her very well, then asking for her number is one step closer.