darkSpyro

And I say it is the WORST movie I have ever seen, ever.

It doesn't even look like a movie. Looks more like something a low budget group on Youtube would do with basic CG animation and video editing, and only a low quality video camera for filming. The whole video looks like the lens are foggy so it's kind of hard to see some things. The audio keeps getting cut off between cuts, sometimes you can't understand what people are saying and sometimes you get something like the first word of the movie, that sounded so HORRIBLE (The waitress in the restaurant saying "Hi").

But let's go to the timeline and plot of the movie. It so terribly wonky. For the first 40 minutes there is no conflict anywhere and has nothing to do with killer birds, just the main character doing his successful job and finding a girl. But after those 40 minutes, it shows angles of different parts of the town for some reason for about a minute, then all of a sudden we see the birds we are looking for and they are already wreaking havoc.

At this point, I thought "WOAH WOAH WOAH, WHERE THE HELL DID THIS COME FROM?" For 40 minutes there was boringness and then this happened. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. The birds were all CG, bad CG I don't think I have ever seen a real-life bird for the whole movie. There were several "bad CG" birds crashing into houses, causing explosions, complete with fake smoke. WHAT ON EARTH?

I actually skimmed through the rest of the movie because I had enough of how boring the movie is. That first bird moment was probably the most crazy part of the movie, unless I missed something later on. But yes, this is the worst movie I have ever seen, assuming it was a movie. Also yes I have seen JonTron's review on it.

Was it ever in the theaters?

SWOOD THIS

SWOOD THAT

Maybe the director was going for a long dramatic reveal with that first hour of nothing but didn't realize the writing was trash and the budget wasn't good enough to make any affects worthwhile.

I looked it up expecting it to be an American "Comedy", only to find that it wasn't.

So I guess the take away message is that; while all American "Comedy" films are ass, not all ass films are American "Comedies".

^ I watched that movie

_______

Quote: QueenChrysalis

So I guess the take away message is that; while all American "Comedy" films are ass, not all ass films are American "Comedies".

There's some decent ones. Just don't look towards modern "satire" films.

Quote: Badwolfmichael

^ I watched that movie

I haven't, but I did see "Epic Movie" and it is safe to assume it follows the exact same formula, given that it is from the same people. Following the plot of its "inspiration" to the letter, but with scenes and characters from other recent films sprinkled about. Oh, and with lots of vomit and defecation for good measure.

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Quote: CAV

Quote: QueenChrysalis

So I guess the take away message is that; while all American "Comedy" films are ass, not all ass films are American "Comedies".

There's some decent ones. Just don't look towards modern "satire" films.

I don't LOOK for them, they just occasionally show up on the TV at work for some ungodly reason.

When ever this happens, and I happen to glance in the TV's general direction, I will either see (with incredible reliability);

1. Bodily fluids
   
2. A man being covered in bodily fluids
   
3. A man consuming bodily fluids
   
4. Offensive Content
   
5. People and/or animals being brutally maimed and killed as a "joke"
   
6. A re-enactment of a scene from a recent movie that was actually good
   

I'd also like to point out: this is what Americans watch for entertainment!

Quote: QueenChrysalis

Quote: CAV

Quote: QueenChrysalis

So I guess the take away message is that; while all American "Comedy" films are ass, not all ass films are American "Comedies".

There's some decent ones. Just don't look towards modern "satire" films.

I don't LOOK for them, they just occasionally show up on the TV at work for some ungodly reason.

When ever this happens, and I happen to glance in the TV's general direction, I will either see (with incredible reliability);

1. Bodily fluids
   
2. A man being covered in bodily fluids
   
3. A man consuming bodily fluids
   
4. Offensive Content
   
5. People and/or animals being brutally maimed and killed as a "joke"
   
6. A re-enactment of a scene from a recent movie that was actually good
   

I'd also like to point out: this is what Americans watch for entertainment!

if it's on your tv stations, it's because it's what your local area frequently watches

and you do know that tv shows aren't real right? like they aren't actually hurting those people or animals and none of the bodily fluids are real?

Pfft! Free to air TV will put any lame thing on, if they THINK it's popular.

Quote: valskeletor

they aren't actually hurting those people or animals and none of the bodily fluids are real?

Quote: QueenChrysalis

I looked it up expecting it to be an American "Comedy", only to find that it wasn't.

So I guess the take away message is that; while all American "Comedy" films are ass, not all ass films are American "Comedies".

That is not true whatsoever.

Yeah I've heard it isn't great

Quote: QueenChrysalis

I don't LOOK for them, they just occasionally show up on the TV at work for some ungodly reason.

When ever this happens, and I happen to glance in the TV's general direction, I will either see (with incredible reliability);

1. Bodily fluids
   
2. A man being covered in bodily fluids
   
3. A man consuming bodily fluids
   
4. Offensive Content
   
5. People and/or animals being brutally maimed and killed as a "joke"
   
6. A re-enactment of a scene from a recent movie that was actually good
   

I'd also like to point out: this is what Americans watch for entertainment!

A lot of comedies that I've seen and enjoyed didn't contain any of those things. And like valskeletor said, none of this stuff is real anyway so what does it matter. It can't be much worse than other comedies that other countries make. And anyway you can't just assume that American films are crap just because you saw something you didn't like in a movie you happened to glance at.

Quote: QueenChrysalis

I looked it up expecting it to be an American "Comedy", only to find that it wasn't.

So I guess the take away message is that; while all American "Comedy" films are ass, not all ass films are American "Comedies".

I WILL DESTROY SELTZEBERG WITH TERNIMATOR-GACKT!

Only Gigli is worse movie than Birdemic. And I have watched Manos and the Room for crying out loud!

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like valskeletor said, none of this stuff is real anyway so what does it matter.

I'm just going to say right now that "It's not stupid because it's not real" is a really lame argument...

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It can't be much worse than other comedies that other countries make.

Neither of my countries' movies rely entirely on farting and gore for "humor". (Although Japan has this weird obsession with nudity, which is especially evident in Soul Eater)

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And anyway you can't just assume that American films are crap just because you saw something you didn't like in a movie you happened to glance at.

This isn't one movie, darling. This is all of them!

I've seen Epic Movie (In which the protagonists find themselves in Micheal Jackson's cannibalism/**** dungeon), I've seen Your Highness (In which the main character eats the heart of a Minotaur as a right of passage, then gets laughed at when he actually does it), I've seen Year 1 (In which a guy pees all over his own face), I've seen Land of the Lost (In which a guy douses himself in dinosaur pee), and other movies I can't name which include scenes of; a seal throwing up all over a woman, a man drugs up a dog who then dies, a guy fishing through dog feces to find his keys. <- and those are just the ones I feel comfortable mentioning on the forum.

^Just saying that all of those movies you listed were negatively received over here too and are considered low-brow pandering stupid comedies (a la Adam Sandler films). Some people may like them or consider them guilty pleasures but generally speaking they're considered crap.

Quote: QueenChrysalis

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like valskeletor said, none of this stuff is real anyway so what does it matter.

I'm just going to say right now that "It's not stupid because it's not real" is a really lame argument...

Quote:

It can't be much worse than other comedies that other countries make.

Neither of my countries' movies rely entirely on farting and gore for "humor". (Although Japan has this weird obsession with nudity, which is especially evident in Soul Eater)

Quote:

And anyway you can't just assume that American films are crap just because you saw something you didn't like in a movie you happened to glance at.

This isn't one movie, darling. This is all of them!

I've seen Epic Movie (In which the protagonists find themselves in Micheal Jackson's cannibalism/**** dungeon), I've seen Your Highness (In which the main character eats the heart of a Minotaur as a right of passage, then gets laughed at when he actually does it), I've seen Year 1 (In which a guy pees all over his own face), I've seen Land of the Lost (In which a guy douses himself in dinosaur pee), and other movies I can't name which include scenes of; a seal throwing up all over a woman, a man drugs up a dog who then dies, a guy fishing through dog feces to find his keys. <- and those are just the ones I feel comfortable mentioning on the forum.

you've never actually seen an american movie that wasn't some cashcow comedy, have you?

in that light, i would be amazed to know what movies actually meet your standards.

Quote: QueenChrysalis

Neither of my countries' movies rely entirely on farting and gore for "humor". (Although Japan has this weird obsession with nudity, which is especially evident in Soul Eater)


This isn't one movie, darling. This is all of them!

I've seen Epic Movie (In which the protagonists find themselves in Micheal Jackson's cannibalism/**** dungeon), I've seen Your Highness (In which the main character eats the heart of a Minotaur as a right of passage, then gets laughed at when he actually does it), I've seen Year 1 (In which a guy pees all over his own face), I've seen Land of the Lost (In which a guy douses himself in dinosaur pee), and other movies I can't name which include scenes of; a seal throwing up all over a woman, a man drugs up a dog who then dies, a guy fishing through dog feces to find his keys. <- and those are just the ones I feel comfortable mentioning on the forum.

Lmfao I've seen some Japanese shows/films that were pretty ****ed up too.

And yeah once again not all movies are like that but okay.