darkSpyro

OK SO.......GUYS....
I'M DESPERATE. I TRULY AM.

i want to be an ostrich for halloween this year cus why not and
there are no ostrich costumes on this planet that aren't these lame ollie rider ones. please lord help me.
like what i'm looking for is kind of like a fursuit in a way with a latex ostrich mask, u kno? I CANNOT FIND ONE. I NEED TO BE AN OSTRICH THIS YEAR. I NEED TO.

i found a mascot one on ebay for $1,300 oh god why

yea if any of you people could help i'd appreciate it so much beyond words

Firstly you're going to want to get a job or some other source of income. You'll need to save up a couple thousand or so in order to pull this all off. What you're going to do next is go to this website and reserve yourself a ticket to Namibia. Namibia is a fairly pretty nation that relies heavily on tourism from people coming to go out into the wild and view the animals. This is important to you. Also remember to take this. You'll need it.

After landing in beautiful Namibia, ask locals or tourist officials about signing up for a tour guide throughout the wild. Seeing how tourism is vital to their economy and most people go there for the animals and not exactly their cuisine, it should be rather easy to get on board. Also be sure to look around and find some sort of sharp tool. Keep it with you as you go on the trip.

Finally you're on the trip and you may run into the majestic ostrich which you seek. Fine specimen no? You're gonna escape whatever form of transport you're in (don't forget to tuck and roll as to not break anything) and wait until they're gone before you continue. Pick out your ostrich of choice and break out the tranquilizer darts. You're gonna hit it with one, two, or 13, in which by then it'll be done for the count. It's very important you do this as to not have your eyes gouged out or get your foot stepped on. When it's finally down, you're going to use that sharp object and kill it (go for the throat to ensure death). With that same tool you are going to skin the animal. Depending on what tool you were able to access (machete, cleaver, ballpoint pen) this may take some time or could be a snap. Either way keep at it, with the knowledge that your Halloween costume is near completion.

Put the now skinned pelt in some form of storage (preferably something cold) and leave the remains to rot or get eaten, like nature intended. At this point tourists and the guide(s) will realize they're missing a little girl with an ostrich t-shirt, and question where she went. Your options then are to sneak back into the group if they didn't go far, make a run for it and not get arrested, or stay there and die and, worse yet, miss your All Hallows' Eve deadline.

Should you get arrested (which is most likely), be sure to have great communication skills. Beg, plead, cry, barter, and carry the act that you fell out of the bus, cried for help, but didn't get any response. If all else fails, use some of the remaining money you saved up and bribe the officials to not have you arrested and put in jail, and just have you deported. Whatever you do make sure they don't look in your storage case. It'll spoil the surprise.

After you've taken some more photos, gone to the gift shop, got your "I came to Namibia and got real close with the ostriches and all I got was this stupid t shirt" t shirt, and got deported back to the US, take out your pelt and try it on. It may fit strangely at first but you can adjust and assume the proper ostrich pose. To allow it to better fit you, wear it all day every day in every task you do, while assuming said pose. After a while it'll feel like a new skin and you will become the envy of your friends, whose favorite animal has also now become the bald flightless bird. You will reach nirvana and spiritual enlightenment, realizing things that us mere mortal, ostrichless humans can never comprehend. And then, and only then, will you truly be the ostrich you always wanted to be.

Happy Halloween.

thanks, cav, i'll try that tomorrow :D

I always wanted to be an Ostrich. I cut my spine and put it up to make my head and neck taller. I also broke some bones to make me my legs bigger. I had a skin tight suit and decided to put stitches and cover it hair bits that I got at a hair salon. I also got my extra bones and stabbed them to my elbow and covered it with super glue and hair. If anyone can help I will appreciate it. :)

Do what I do for Halloween costumes all the time: Do it yourself. Might not be as good quality as store-bought costumes, but at least you will be an ostrich. Try getting a lot of fake (or real) feathers.

do you have any good tutorials in mind?

I was looking for an ostrich costume and while I was searching, I found this:


It's a costume to make people look almost completely naked even though they obviously aren't... Nice..

Anyway, I couldn't find a good ostrich costume that wasn't over like $1,000.
You might want to try what StormDragon said.

If you truly want the best ostrich costume to ever exist, you must follow my advice. Nothing else will do.

Quote: AvatariDragon

I was looking for an ostrich costume and while I was searching, I found this:


It's a costume to make people look almost completely naked even though they obviously aren't... Nice..

Anyway, I couldn't find a good ostrich costume that wasn't over like $1,000.
You might want to try what StormDragon said.

CRYING
it's ok i decided to be a chicken berserker for halloween

I'm going as a banana if that counts...

Quote: Thunderdragon14

Quote: AvatariDragon

I was looking for an ostrich costume and while I was searching, I found this:


It's a costume to make people look almost completely naked even though they obviously aren't... Nice..

Anyway, I couldn't find a good ostrich costume that wasn't over like $1,000.
You might want to try what StormDragon said.

CRYING
it's ok i decided to be a chicken berserker for halloween

Lol ahh, well that's cool too

Glue feathers unto yourself.


You are now an ostrich.

Be a sexy ostrich

If they have Mixels costumes, get a Mesmo costume and paint it to look like an ostrich. You might get a short ostrich with a goatee and the inability to make any facial expression, but who cares? It's still and ostrich!

Just get bitten by a wereostrich. I mean, a similar method worked for my annual Halloween costume.