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Personal Thoughts [STICKY]
Grizzle Yellow Sparx Gems: 1340
#42701 Posted: 21:41:36 28/08/2018
damn dude I gotta turn my life around

by 25 i want to have things be good ykno, like have a career or an idea of one, tons of friends, acting, maybe in a band, maybe move to hollywood who knows
I mean life is really garbage and I know I'll never live my dream and be truly happy which is like, the worst feeling ykno but at least i can try right?
ShadowMewX Platinum Sparx Gems: 5844
#42702 Posted: 01:50:18 29/08/2018
I just wanna be friends with my roommate, but she's always FaceTiming her old friends, and I don't wanna butt in or be rude or make her hate me. And then I wonder if she's realized by now how annoying I can be and this is her way of avoiding me... but what if I'm overthinking and I come off like I'm trying to force her away from her old friends? Ughhh I know these things take time, but a small part of me has always wanted a best friend I can trust and confide in, and I really want that person to be her. Gods, am I obsessive, sad and pathetic or what?

_____
---
Quote:
"Putting Skyward in a coma has given me the most amusement of this month. I think I'm going to do it."

-StormDragon21
crystalhero37 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4960
#42703 Posted: 03:06:27 29/08/2018
I just want to have a genuine conversation with you. We'll never have that though, you don't really care about having me around. I could leave forever, and it'd mean nothing. I can't make/force you to care, what kind of friendship is that? It's exhausting.

You won't go out of your way to fix things, because what are you gonna lose? Just me, and to you, that isn't really a loss. And this isn't really a problem to you, so why bother doing anything about it?

This is stupid and unhealthy to dwell on when there's better things to think about. I'm done now.


usually this is the part where i say im being dumb but nah, im just frustrated
TheToyNerd Gold Sparx Gems: 2137
#42704 Posted: 05:20:13 30/08/2018
I need to stop burning so many bridges on such flimsy pretenses. It's a rather nasty habit of mine, and it's definitely not going to make me many friends in the future if I freak out at them for every little thing I get slightly uncomfortable at. It's a dick move, and I am certainly not a dick... at least I try not to be.
Grizzle Yellow Sparx Gems: 1340
#42705 Posted: 06:28:22 30/08/2018
i hate how envious i get of random people i dont even know in real life, i dunno i guess knowing they have what i want and that i wont have that really upsets me
Bolt Hunter Gems: 5873
#42706 Posted: 07:01:20 30/08/2018
Oh, I love you so much. Thank you so much for talking to me about this, you're such a bloody amazing person. And I'm so glad you're doing okay too, I miss you! Hope to see you in a couple of days! But it's okay if you can't.
You're great. You deserve the world.
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
Bolt Hunter Gems: 5873
#42707 Posted: 08:38:53 30/08/2018
**** this. stop doing this. you are screwing up the whole family. my step dad can't even work now!! he's going to have a nervous breakdown! you know it's ****ing bad when i start to feel sorry for him
i can't do this anymore. none of us can do this. we don't know what to do.
we don't know what to do
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
King-Pen Krazy Yellow Sparx Gems: 1907
#42708 Posted: 14:14:25 30/08/2018
Maybe I should just give up on it, no matter how hard i try, I just can't seem to get good at it
---
Rise and Shine Ursine
Grizzle Yellow Sparx Gems: 1340
#42709 Posted: 18:48:09 31/08/2018
am i really that ****ing ugly
DragonCamo Platinum Sparx Gems: 5984
#42710 Posted: 18:58:04 31/08/2018
You honestly disgust me :)
---
Gay 4 GARcher
Bolt Hunter Gems: 5873
#42711 Posted: 19:05:23 31/08/2018
i am so bloody stressed :'''''')
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
TheToyNerd Gold Sparx Gems: 2137
#42712 Posted: 17:29:35 01/09/2018
Man, i super don’t fit here anymore. All my old friends I barely speak to and every time I open my stupid ****ing mouth on the Discord, I fumble and make an ass out of myself. Plus, I leave so often, it’s probably just a meme at this point.

I’m sorry
Buchi Ripto Gems: 445
#42713 Posted: 18:14:41 01/09/2018
Things never go the way I want them to, huh? Ah well. I guess I'll just need to modify my plans a bit more in the future.
Vespi Yellow Sparx Gems: 1780
#42714 Posted: 18:34:36 01/09/2018
cool i guess literally anything is more interesting than me
---
(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆
I am Groot. (*I Guardians of the Galaxy 23:48*)
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7512
#42715 Posted: 20:40:54 01/09/2018
And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since eighteen
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries


--------

'Cause I'm hopeful, yes I am
Hopeful for today
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away
And be hopeful, hopeful
And He'll make a way
I know it ain't easy, but, that's okay
Just be hopeful
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 07:52:18 02/09/2018 by parisruelz12
Muffin Man Emerald Sparx Gems: 3603
#42716 Posted: 13:42:21 02/09/2018
So my ex-girlfriend told me today that she got engaged. Feels strange to hear it...I don't know how to describe the feeling, because I stopped wanting to be with her a long while ago (even though we've stayed good friends), but I still have strong (and fond) memories of a time when it seemed inevitable that I would be the one to marry her. I'm definitely happy for her, at any rate.
---
whoever reads this shall succumb to the ways of the Muffin
somePerson Platinum Sparx Gems: 5546
#42717 Posted: 16:05:08 02/09/2018
i dont think i actually dislike people
TheToyNerd Gold Sparx Gems: 2137
#42718 Posted: 05:43:49 03/09/2018
I need to stop hitting myself...
Vespi Yellow Sparx Gems: 1780
#42719 Posted: 05:45:00 03/09/2018
man youre a ****in creep


if youre reading this its really really unlikely its u
---
(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆
I am Groot. (*I Guardians of the Galaxy 23:48*)
somePerson Platinum Sparx Gems: 5546
#42720 Posted: 06:13:02 03/09/2018
carajo
ShadowMewX Platinum Sparx Gems: 5844
#42721 Posted: 07:16:29 03/09/2018
This is so friggen surreal...I'm still up despite the fact that it's the middle of the night (morning?), and my fear of failure is the only thing keeping me energized enough to do my calculus. I know I should sleep and that I'll have plenty of time to do everything tomorrow, but my mind isn't even letting me get tired till I finish my calc. Thank goodness my roommate isn't here to see how hopeless I'm being!

Edit: Lesson learned. When the universe blesses you with an extra day off school, take that day to study calculus instead of doing nothing all day then staying up till 5 trying to figure it out on your own. Noted. <.< Still don't know what I'm doing, but at least I only have half a problem incorrect instead of an assignment and a half. Heh...

_____
---
Quote:
"Putting Skyward in a coma has given me the most amusement of this month. I think I'm going to do it."

-StormDragon21
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 09:04:40 03/09/2018 by ShadowMewX
Bolt Hunter Gems: 5873
#42722 Posted: 07:17:16 03/09/2018
i have a kind of squish for three people online now yay that's fun.
online sucks. i want to know you guys irl, but you're all on the other side of the world lol. it doesn't work.
i want someone here now. just a friend to hug, to share crap with, to lay with under the stars. all my friends have moved away or can't see me anymore! one lives eight hours away, one has gone off and joined the army, one has had a baby! we all kind of drifted apart anyway ... it sucks, but we aren't the same people we were in high school.

... i want her to be that friend. but i don't know if that's what she wants, not from me. she has her own family to worry about. i want to help her! i want to be there for her! hopefully i get to see her again tomorrow, but she's been so elusive lately.
heh, she wants to give me an artwork of hers, she says she's got something for me. >\\\<
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
Vespi Yellow Sparx Gems: 1780
#42723 Posted: 21:42:56 03/09/2018
why isn’t this working
---
(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆
I am Groot. (*I Guardians of the Galaxy 23:48*)
kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 5710
#42724 Posted: 22:42:55 03/09/2018
Everything is falling apart. It simply is. Every hope that this would be good is falling apart. What I currently have is fading. All I can do is desperately cling to a dream.
---
I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
TheToyNerd Gold Sparx Gems: 2137
#42725 Posted: 00:26:08 04/09/2018
ugh... time to get jealous of other artists, I guess
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 01:01:11 04/09/2018 by TheToyNerd
Carmelita Fox Prismatic Sparx Gems: 10210
#42726 Posted: 21:12:34 04/09/2018
[User Posted Image]
- - -
terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418
#42727 Posted: 22:08:51 04/09/2018
If only I wasn’t still on suicide watch
willspyro Platinum Sparx Gems: 5313
#42728 Posted: 01:02:12 05/09/2018
Tired as **** lol
---
すみません、白人が最悪かと心配でした
Bolt Hunter Gems: 5873
#42729 Posted: 01:32:34 05/09/2018
^^^^^ ****ing same
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
somePerson Platinum Sparx Gems: 5546
#42730 Posted: 01:45:44 05/09/2018
tired of people doing nothing but feel sorry about themselves
Skyhunter Platinum Sparx Gems: 6202
#42731 Posted: 04:06:25 05/09/2018
God, I'm such a coward. I just wish I could be upfront with people and tell them stuff I need to say without being afraid of how they'll react. Instead, I just keep my mouth shut, come up with excuses, and pretend to agree/disagree with whatever they say to me.
---
Hey you. You're finally awake.
Bolt Hunter Gems: 5873
#42732 Posted: 06:24:17 05/09/2018
yeah ... haven't felt this way in a while ....
man im worthless
............
sometimes i just get reminded about what a ****ing waste of a person i am and how pointless it is for me to continue being alive
i know im going to get nowhere
who the **** am i kidding
****ing worthless
worthless
worthless
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
AestheticDragon Ripto Gems: 1658
#42733 Posted: 06:56:56 05/09/2018
^a bit unrelated but im feeling very happy right now and just wanna express that i think you're very cool and im sorry i dont talk to you anymore.
willspyro Platinum Sparx Gems: 5313
#42734 Posted: 12:32:21 05/09/2018
Can't wait for more conditioning
---
すみません、白人が最悪かと心配でした
Vespi Yellow Sparx Gems: 1780
#42735 Posted: 15:11:05 05/09/2018
why do i even try to be happy when life is just gonna butt**** me at every opportunity
---
(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆
I am Groot. (*I Guardians of the Galaxy 23:48*)
ShadowMewX Platinum Sparx Gems: 5844
#42736 Posted: 19:19:35 05/09/2018
uhhhhhhgggghhhhhhh

_____
---
Quote:
"Putting Skyward in a coma has given me the most amusement of this month. I think I'm going to do it."

-StormDragon21
TheToyNerd Gold Sparx Gems: 2137
#42737 Posted: 21:43:14 05/09/2018
Ever just meet a person and think to yourself, “what the hell you are exactly my type”?

That’s how I feel right now, and it is very bizarre
Bolt Hunter Gems: 5873
#42738 Posted: 04:58:11 06/09/2018
Quote: AestheticDragon
^a bit unrelated but im feeling very happy right now and just wanna express that i think you're very cool and im sorry i dont talk to you anymore.



oh, thank you so much aes, i really appreciate it ;;
and it's okay if you don't really talk with me anymore, i understand
but thank you so much c':
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
AestheticDragon Ripto Gems: 1658
#42739 Posted: 05:34:40 06/09/2018
Now i feel bad ;-; its nothing you did. I have to sort myself out
Bolt Hunter Gems: 5873
#42740 Posted: 05:40:08 06/09/2018
don't feel bad!! you're fine and i understand! i wish you the absolute best of luck with everything ;;
---
you don't know me. i break things
I draw stuff.
kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 5710
#42741 Posted: 07:23:24 06/09/2018
It's 3:30AM, why the **** am I awake?
---
I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
crystalhero37 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4960
#42742 Posted: 08:40:08 06/09/2018
I. Need. Help.

- -

You were the ONLY reason why I didn't do this earlier. Now I don't care if you ever see this. I'm going to be who I always wanted to be.

Besides, you'd have to be some desperate creep to be stalking me that far anyway, that's gonna be all on you and your own fault if you get bothered by this. (you'd be an idiot to have this annoy you in the first place too lol)

--

I'm sorry, I suck at replying in general. I haven't been in the best state for a while. I'm awful with talking to everybody, which isn't a great excuse, but I'm trying to get out of this. Isolating myself like this when feeling bad isn't really helping me at all, it's probably what's making it worse. I'll be fine though, I just want to be able to get in the groove of replying to people in a quicker pace again.



im hungry
Sesshomaru75 Platinum Sparx [online] Gems: 6378
#42743 Posted: 09:11:59 06/09/2018
I feel kind of hurt that you didn't wish me a happy birthday. (Or maybe you did, and I just forgot? If I did, then I apologize)


- - -
---
A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage.
parisruelz12 Diamond Sparx Gems: 7512
#42744 Posted: 09:24:05 06/09/2018
its not gonna be enough is it? ill work and work and work but nothing will ever get better.
---
looks like ive got some things to do...
terrafin2299 Ripto Gems: 3418
#42745 Posted: 11:49:05 06/09/2018
I get let out of the hospital today. Yay I’m still as alone and depressed as when I walked in there. I wish I was in a body bag, not a hospital
Buchi Ripto Gems: 445
#42746 Posted: 14:37:59 06/09/2018
This has been weighing a lot on my mind lately. It seems like I finally have the abilities needed to complete my lifelong goal, so what's stopping me? Only myself. I can totally do this if I so desire.

I've started looking at this whole thing from a more professional viewpoint now too. I'm not messing around with LEGO or whatever anymore, should I succeed, I've got potentially thousands of people judging me. That's not a bad thing. I mean, I always wanted to be famous, but that's no longer my main goal, though it would be useful if I knew how to use it. It would certainly be quite a responsibility.

As for the actual idea itself, I had little hope for it at first, but after fleshing it out it's turned from a gritty time-warping story into an actually meaningful one with characters you can relate to. That's progress. Though, it'd definitely need to be interesting if I wanted any wider form of success. So that's one problem I needn't worry about anymore. Still a little boring in places, but overall my changes have massively broadened the potential of this game. I'm going to need to make changes here and there as well as fully accepting them, but I didn't even like the original idea so what? I'm turning a bad idea into a good one.

Still a few cons and drawbacks, for example, it looks like I'll need to carry the flame myself rather than getting a team together. This means I'll need to learn a bit of art, programming, as well as handling the income and social side of things. So maybe I'm overestimating? No, I don't believe in limits, never have and never will. I'll keep going until I reach that limit and let nothing stop me until then. It may be hard at times but ultimately worth it.

Well it looks like I'm searching up old Kickstarters to get my expectations together, then maybe finalize some character/place names, then..? Well none of this right now is final and won't affect much in the long run, maybe. But small steps are important. Just small steps can evolve into big steps, and if I take those small steps right now, then that's a start. I'll be there before I know it! Way more productive than procrastinating... I think I can feel the ball rolling already.
DeathOfADream Yellow Sparx Gems: 1248
#42747 Posted: 16:55:45 06/09/2018
Aaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha my hair is falling out
---
”So, I will walk through the fire,
Cause where else can I turn?”
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