darkSpyro

usually this is the part where i say im being dumb but nah, im just frustrated

I need to stop burning so many bridges on such flimsy pretenses. It's a rather nasty habit of mine, and it's definitely not going to make me many friends in the future if I freak out at them for every little thing I get slightly uncomfortable at. It's a dick move, and I am certainly not a dick... at least I try not to be.

i hate how envious i get of random people i dont even know in real life, i dunno i guess knowing they have what i want and that i wont have that really upsets me

Maybe I should just give up on it, no matter how hard i try, I just can't seem to get good at it

am i really that ****ing ugly

You honestly disgust me :)

Man, i super don’t fit here anymore. All my old friends I barely speak to and every time I open my stupid ****ing mouth on the Discord, I fumble and make an ass out of myself. Plus, I leave so often, it’s probably just a meme at this point.

I’m sorry

Things never go the way I want them to, huh? Ah well. I guess I'll just need to modify my plans a bit more in the future.

cool i guess literally anything is more interesting than me

And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since eighteen
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

--------

'Cause I'm hopeful, yes I am
Hopeful for today
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away
And be hopeful, hopeful
And He'll make a way
I know it ain't easy, but, that's okay
Just be hopeful

So my ex-girlfriend told me today that she got engaged. Feels strange to hear it...I don't know how to describe the feeling, because I stopped wanting to be with her a long while ago (even though we've stayed good friends), but I still have strong (and fond) memories of a time when it seemed inevitable that I would be the one to marry her. I'm definitely happy for her, at any rate.

i dont think i actually dislike people

I need to stop hitting myself...

if youre reading this its really really unlikely its u

carajo

_____

why isn’t this working

Everything is falling apart. It simply is. Every hope that this would be good is falling apart. What I currently have is fading. All I can do is desperately cling to a dream.

ugh... time to get jealous of other artists, I guess

- - -

If only I wasn’t still on suicide watch

Tired as **** lol

tired of people doing nothing but feel sorry about themselves

God, I'm such a coward. I just wish I could be upfront with people and tell them stuff I need to say without being afraid of how they'll react. Instead, I just keep my mouth shut, come up with excuses, and pretend to agree/disagree with whatever they say to me.

^a bit unrelated but im feeling very happy right now and just wanna express that i think you're very cool and im sorry i dont talk to you anymore.

Can't wait for more conditioning

why do i even try to be happy when life is just gonna butt**** me at every opportunity

_____

Ever just meet a person and think to yourself, “what the hell you are exactly my type”?

That’s how I feel right now, and it is very bizarre

Now i feel bad ;-; its nothing you did. I have to sort myself out

It's 3:30AM, why the **** am I awake?

im hungry

its not gonna be enough is it? ill work and work and work but nothing will ever get better.

I get let out of the hospital today. Yay I’m still as alone and depressed as when I walked in there. I wish I was in a body bag, not a hospital

This has been weighing a lot on my mind lately. It seems like I finally have the abilities needed to complete my lifelong goal, so what's stopping me? Only myself. I can totally do this if I so desire.

I've started looking at this whole thing from a more professional viewpoint now too. I'm not messing around with LEGO or whatever anymore, should I succeed, I've got potentially thousands of people judging me. That's not a bad thing. I mean, I always wanted to be famous, but that's no longer my main goal, though it would be useful if I knew how to use it. It would certainly be quite a responsibility.

As for the actual idea itself, I had little hope for it at first, but after fleshing it out it's turned from a gritty time-warping story into an actually meaningful one with characters you can relate to. That's progress. Though, it'd definitely need to be interesting if I wanted any wider form of success. So that's one problem I needn't worry about anymore. Still a little boring in places, but overall my changes have massively broadened the potential of this game. I'm going to need to make changes here and there as well as fully accepting them, but I didn't even like the original idea so what? I'm turning a bad idea into a good one.

Still a few cons and drawbacks, for example, it looks like I'll need to carry the flame myself rather than getting a team together. This means I'll need to learn a bit of art, programming, as well as handling the income and social side of things. So maybe I'm overestimating? No, I don't believe in limits, never have and never will. I'll keep going until I reach that limit and let nothing stop me until then. It may be hard at times but ultimately worth it.

Well it looks like I'm searching up old Kickstarters to get my expectations together, then maybe finalize some character/place names, then..? Well none of this right now is final and won't affect much in the long run, maybe. But small steps are important. Just small steps can evolve into big steps, and if I take those small steps right now, then that's a start. I'll be there before I know it! Way more productive than procrastinating... I think I can feel the ball rolling already.

Aaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha my hair is falling out

oh my god why the **** does this k e e p happening to m e

it hurts the most to look back.