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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Fandom > Fan Fiction > Tales Of Samgon and Denragon pt.1 : A New Adventure
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Tales Of Samgon and Denragon pt.1 : A New Adventure [CLOSED]
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#1 Posted: 05:04:29 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
ATTENTION TO ALL OF YOU! FEEL FREE TO READ ANYTIME, DON'T PUSH YOURSELF TO READ ALL OF IT AT ONCE.

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I'm start posting my stories when I finished reading "Samius" story, Spyro Second Beginning. So I hope this one not die so fast, even it die, it's okay I'm not dissapointed. Anyway Samius story is better than mine...

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Scratch the word Samius' is better than mine...I know he is my teacher but there's a wise word...
"Someday, student going to bested it's teacher..."


I'll explain the big goal in this book...
The goal is TO FIND THE PAST...

And also a new title for this topic...

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This chapter may have a very horrible start...I was nothing with English back there...
And now, this story may continue slower than a snail could catch up a train...since I read books, FF and other that could help me improving my grammar...

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Sorry bro, if you Don agree to my title, just say it...
Although my FF is also telling about Samgon and Denragon...

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This FF is other version from my brother...
He's my guide after all.

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Hey y'all, when you decide to read my fanfic, just prepare enough time...
From time to time, I'm start losing control, sometimes I write too much...

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Edited 14 times - Last edited at 10:42:17 25/08/2013 by Youla
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#2 Posted: 05:44:48 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Okay, the first chapter is taken from Spyro, A New Beginning. Enjoy, while you want to enjoy it...

Chapter 1
Once upon a time, deep in the Mysterious forest, three baby dragons still on its way (still on egg). They babysitted by an old dragon, fast and strong enough to fight when needed. One day, a bunch of dark armies come to take that eggs to prevent the prophecies happening. Now it's time to the old dragon to crack his bone again...protecting those eggs.
He tries his better effort to keep the eggs comfortable, but he is too old to do that. So he decide to flee. However, the leader of the armies realize that the dragon is intending to escape. The leader directly run to the eggs with his abilities using shadow cloak (like Cynder's ability). And so, the old dragon, Xentor, notice it too. He rush to the eggs, racing with the leader, however, dragon only have 2 arms, so he pick the eggs and one got stolen...
Sadly he has to save the chosen dragon and let go that one...

1 year after that heart-breaking battle...

"Hey, Denragon!! Wait for me...*Hosh*" Samgon said tiredly chasing his friend. He couldn't run any further again, he has reached his limits, and his element can't help him (Earth). "Why would I wait you?(Smile evily) You always take my dinner, swallow like your tummy is big..." said Denragon while running using his dark ability. "But at least you can show some respect to me, I'm older than you!!*Hosh*". But that word ignored by Denragon, he keeps running home while shouting "And did I care?". That makes Samgon angry and want to smack him...so he prepare a big rock to throw at him. Well it miss, as his first using his elements to attack, Denragon want to try his elements to. He hide inside one of the rock's shadow, sneaking and keep trying to attack Samgon.
This battle going over an hour that make Xentor worry, "Where are they?" he thought. "Maybe I should check on them..."

And then he finds that his two young dragon, is fighting like a kid (althought they still a kid).
"Hey stop is right there!!" Xentor shout.
"Opps, he bust us..." Said Denragon.
"But uncle, he is the one who start all of this, it's not my fault (point at Denragon)" said Samgon to defend hiself.
"Hey, don't blame me. It's you who throw the rock at me" said Denragon angryly.
"All right, I know this situation now. Den...back to your chamber (inside a cave at Mysterious forest), and Sam, I want to talk to you for a moment. Come with me" Xentor ask Samgon with serious face.

As they get home...
"Samgon, as the chosen Dragon, you have to act more gentle to your own friend..."
"But, but, he start it first and he..." cutted out by Xentor.
"I know, I know, okay this time is his fault, but next time please promise not to act like childern again okay?

As this life continue for 10 years, he can be friend with Denragon, and their friendship is so close like they were brother...
Then Xentor come while they are training their fighting abilities, saying to stop a while and listen to what he said...
Xentor tells the story before they born, and now he asking to help their friend that been kidnapped about 10 years ago...
Will their first journey going well or not?

To be continued tomorrow
Note : Sorry if there any mistaken in my language...
Denragon Gold Sparx Gems: 2763
#3 Posted: 10:41:33 27/04/2012
Ha... Ha... Very funny, Youla... *sigh*
---
"Everyday we make our own story to tell later for the next generation of us." -Denragon
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#4 Posted: 12:28:16 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Want me to continue???
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#5 Posted: 13:51:21 27/04/2012
First of all, I think you should write more. You'll never learn to write like a pro if you don't keep writing. The same goes with any activity.
The first chapters of my first fanfic (The Second Beginning) were terrible, but I've learned to write well over the years. Reading books and watching movies also helps.

I advice you to take your time when writing. Check if your english is correct, and always look at the text from the reader's perspective. That way you'll see if you write something that might seem confusing to the readers.

The start of the story in itself is not groundbreakingly original, but it's interesting enough to keep reading. I'm taking into account that you've only written a single chapter so far, so I can't assume anything about the main storyline yet.

Also, you'll want your readers to know the characters, and have an emotional attachment to them. If the characters are interesting, then the story will be too, because the readers will want to know what happends to the characters.
This is why I think you made a mistake by skipping 11 years in your first chapter alone. You could've used a few more chapters to get your readers to know the main characters better.

And please, understand that I'm not saying your story is bad. I'm trying to help you to make it better, and you can always ask me for advice.

I'll be waiting for more.

Edit: Also, you do make a lot of typos. Is english your first languange?
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 15:58:57 27/04/2012 by Samius
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#6 Posted: 15:35:53 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Umm, thanks Samius...

For the advice I will introduce the character this time...
Samgon : Clever but humoris dragon
Denragon : Also humoris but a little jumpy
And the other character will be introduced next time when the chapter continues

And now to fill the empty 11 years that Samius talk about

Most of the day, they live their live like normal person, train hard, learn something new, and get whiped by Xentor if they naughty or something like that...

Note : For serious, I don't think my dragon can do such incredible thing while they are still young, maybe the exiting part is when they practice their elements.
Samgon like to craft some rock to be nice and beautiful statue.
Denragon like to play with shadow and didn't like light so much (not his weakness I mean).

Well, I think that's all...
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#7 Posted: 15:58:10 27/04/2012
Quote: Youla
Umm, thanks Samius...

For the advice I will introduce the character this time...
Samgon : Clever but humoris dragon
Denragon : Also humoris but a little jumpy
And the other character will be introduced next time when the chapter continues

And now to fill the empty 11 years that Samius talk about

Most of the day, they live their live like normal person, train hard, learn something new, and get whiped by Xentor if they naughty or something like that...

Note : For serious, I don't think my dragon can do such incredible thing while they are still young, maybe the exiting part is when they practice their elements.
Samgon like to craft some rock to be nice and beautiful statue.
Denragon like to play with shadow and didn't like light so much (not his weakness I mean).

Well, I think that's all...


That does help, but as I said in the PM, readers need to get accustomed to the characters, just explaining what they do isn't enough.

Think of it this way: If you're writing a story, who do you write for?
The readers, of course.
Without anybody reading your story, it is as good as nothing.
To make a good story, you need to take into account what the readers need to get sense out of the story, and what they need to get interested in it.

Also, I have to ask. What does it mean that Samgon is the "chosen dragon"? Will it be explained later in the story?
Denragon Gold Sparx Gems: 2763
#8 Posted: 16:06:40 27/04/2012
I think that means Samgon is chosen dragon to save the world from evil...
---
"Everyday we make our own story to tell later for the next generation of us." -Denragon
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#9 Posted: 16:20:00 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
More, I mean next chapter
Umm sry for forgeting this : Xentor is a dragon guardian that his life story is almost the same with Ignitus...

Chapter 2
Their new friend, actually are Denragon's sister. And more note; that Samgon and Denragon aren't sibling...
As Xentor make the request, they both surprised, especially Denragon he just know that he has a sister.
And his sister is corrupted by the dark magic.

Xentor is trying to explain it clearly, but it's hard to think where to start...
"Sam, Den, in the past, I was guarding you while you are still in egg. However the dark armies come to kill you and prevent the prophecies. It's my fault that your sister, Youla has taken and corrupted with dark magic. She is a wind type user, and maybe a black magic user too. This will become danger if this keep any longer, Youla will be unstopable and unsaveable."
"So what are we going to do?" Ask Samgon
"And uncle Xentor, are you sure we are ready?" continued by Denragon
"Of course, you have been fighting together for a long time didn't you?" Answer Xentor.
"One more question, where is she?" More by Samgon.
"She's at the Dark Realm's laboratory, where the dark armies hide out is" And so more by Xentor.

At the noon, they prepare for their departure and straighly set off as they ready. Xentor is not coming, he is already too old to fight in several times.
And at things at the Dark Realm, they use Youla as their experiments, and also for their defences strategies. She's been controlled to fight back anyone that disturbing the Dark Master plans to kill Samgon.

As they arrive at the Dark Realm's laboratory (placed in a tunnel of rock on a mountain), they try to sneak among the guards to rescue Youla. However, that laboratory has a defence mecanishm too, accidently Denragon steps on a trip wire that causing a poisoning mist pump to that route. They hurry to the main room where is clear from the mist, but strangely, no guard guarding that room. They just see someone is caged there. Denragon believes that what they looking for is that dragon. When they try to see it nearer, that dragon's eye glows black and start moving, and the cage broken by the burst of that dragon power.

And what they fear is happening, they have to fight Youla. As they prepare for the fight, Youla is moving so fast as the wind blow in storm.
The earth user is hopeless since he can't move fast, but what about Denragon? Will her brother could save her?

More tomorrow if I remember to post...
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#10 Posted: 16:32:28 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Umm sorry again for not introducing the character detail,
The apperance
Samgon : Is thick skinned dragon as he is an earth user. And also green coloured scale
Denragon : Dark scaled and sometimes can trick the enemies with hiding in dark room.
Youla : I can say that's me. So her apperance will like the slim bodies with perfect arms and leg to do some flexibility movement...
Xentor : Big, old but his spirit is still young that he can understand the young dragon plans. Also he is an electricity user, so I put yellow colour on his scale.

Later more character will be showed up
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#11 Posted: 17:44:11 27/04/2012
Ok, you're really making this story go fast.
Look, I know you want to simply skip to important parts of the story, but you can't forget details like dialogue, descriptions of the surroundings and what's happening around the characters.

Imagine if I erased all the chatter between the characters in my story. Not only would the story become really hard to understand, but it would also become really short.
Take your time, nobody is rushing you to write more. Think about how you want the story to play out.

Also, I already asked you two times, but you haven't answered me. Is english your first language?
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#12 Posted: 18:08:49 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Umm Samius, you see that my story is not fresh. It's already edited from what I write on a plain paper...

And the answer for you question: Nope, english isn't my first languange...
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#13 Posted: 18:16:47 27/04/2012
You mean you just copy it from what you've already written down?

That's alright, I pre-write my chapters too sometimes.
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#14 Posted: 19:23:17 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Umm, sorry for the double but, SAMIUS!!!!!!!!! I really need you here to help me, train me HOW to write...
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#15 Posted: 19:45:11 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Sorry for the double, but SAMIUS!!!!!!!!!!! I really need your help here, I need you to train me HOW to write...correctly
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#16 Posted: 20:06:16 27/04/2012
Do you mean your grammar or the story? Because I'm no english teacher if that's what you mean, but I can tell you a bit about writing stories.
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#17 Posted: 21:10:49 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Sorry for the double but, SAMIUS!!!!!!!!!!!! I really need you help here, please teach me HOW to be a good writer...
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#18 Posted: 21:12:43 27/04/2012
You've sent the same message three times now, and I already answered. What's going on?
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#19 Posted: 21:50:30 27/04/2012 | Topic Creator
I need SAMIUS here to train me to be a better writer!!!!!!!!!
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#20 Posted: 17:53:44 28/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Hey Samius, could you do me a favor, can you invite your friend to this fanfic?
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#21 Posted: 19:06:49 28/04/2012
I don't think I can make anyone to read it if they're not interested, but I can ask around. Still, no promises.
Denragon Gold Sparx Gems: 2763
#22 Posted: 22:55:22 28/04/2012
It's okay, Youla... You must make your story that can make the readers curious...
---
"Everyday we make our own story to tell later for the next generation of us." -Denragon
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#23 Posted: 08:01:29 29/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Chapter 3

At the first, Samgon was shocked, why he fight a beautiful dragon with beautiful eyes.

In the wide and dark laboratory, they start the fight. As Youla is commanded to fight, she launch her first attack, start disappearing using her combined wind and dark elements.

"Where did she go??" ask Samgon

Suddenly from the back, Youla strikes Denragon with a pair of twisted hurricane, strong enough to make Denragon bounce away.

"Denragon!! No..., you'll regret this!" Attacking with a pile of stone to a fast moving target will eventually miss.

"Pathetic..." as Youla says before she disappear again.

"Not again..." Samgon worry. He watch around carefully.

For Denragon who bounced out the room straightly head back, as he enters the room from the window, he sees Youla appearing behind Samgon.
"Samgon, behind...!"

Hear that Samgon reflexes to duck save him.
"Thanks..."
Than he use his power to trap Youla, creating a landslide is too much for him to handle, but he has to. The laboratory walls is used to perform the landslide. No doubt he using too much of his power.

Now Samgon feels weak, he thought he got her, but the truth no. It's Youla who got him. Samgon already scared, thinking what will happen. However, Denragon got more idea, from the dark he appears and hit the necklace on Youla's neck. Letting Samgon go, she tries to create a dark-wind barriers in action to defend herself. However, Denragon's power manage to hit and scratch the core of Youla's neck, but he has been hitted by the strong and piercing barrier. The damage that Denragon made has awakened Youla's memory, and freeing her from the control.

Now she realize that she has done the wrong thing. Knowing this, the commander that giving order to Youla is calling for reinforcement. Looking at Samgon face, seems Youla fell with Samgon handsome face, but she realize, if the troops catch Samgon, the world destruction is closing to her boss hands.

She wants to flee, but seeing these two dragons passed out from what she did, she couldn't leave them behind. She tries to wake them. Samgon opens his eyes slowly.

"Ugh my head..."

"Hey sorry what I have done to you, but we really need to flee" Youla apologize.

Seeing her different, Samgon agreed to flee, he carry Denragon on his back and start streching his wings and fly throught the hole caused by the landslide. Youla helps with knocking back the archer that try to shoot at them.

The troops send an air unit, but the big boss, stops them. Laughing evily and says "You can run, but you can't hide...Mwa ha ha ha ha......"

While on air, knowing that they aren't chased again, they can slow down a bit to save energy, especially for Samgon that still carry Denragon. Youla looks around for a safe place, she found a snowy mountain.

"Hey, we can head to that mountain" Youla points the mountain

"Is it far?" Ask Samgon with struggling sound, showing he already tired

"Nope" says Youla.

When they arrive on the bone chills place, they see a cave. They can use that cave, hope no one lives there. The cave is warm. Denragon and Samgon sleeps already, but Youla is stargazing at the mouth of the cave, regreting what she has done. As the time ticking, she feels tired too. Take a place beside Samgon, start closing her eyes, and finally she sleep.

Not long from that moment, a big wolf come with hungry condition. Seeing those dragons will only make it drooling, fresh dragon meat is better that any other meat...

That's it for this chapter, since this is my graduating holiday, Ill try to post more tomorrow...
*Say in small voice* "even the reader is not a lot..." *sad face*
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#24 Posted: 09:27:54 29/04/2012
Well this chapter was loads better then the last two were. Keep up the progress.

The thing you need to really work on is your grammar. I'm no english teacher so I can't isolate the problem, but the text is understandable and there weren't many moments where I had to wonder what was happening.

I can only give you tips in storywriting, maybe you should ask help from someone who can teach you english better?
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#25 Posted: 15:43:05 29/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Thanks for the comment, actually I'm following your advice at your fandom "Need Help Writing Story?"
And about my grammar, I'm still learning...
I dunno why, but my english score is pretty good...
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#26 Posted: 16:01:36 29/04/2012
No problem. Don't worry about making mistakes when writing, instead, learn from them.
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#27 Posted: 16:57:18 29/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Thanks, I'm posting the next chapter tomorrow, with Denragon on my side accompany me...
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#28 Posted: 07:26:34 30/04/2012 | Topic Creator
I'm sorry (who am I apologizing to? Since there is no reader...), I can't post the next chapter now. Maybe tomorrow or later at night, because I stay up late and now I'm sleepy...
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 07:28:58 30/04/2012 by Youla
Blayze Gold Sparx Gems: 2299
#29 Posted: 08:18:11 30/04/2012
Great story! I can see your really writing from the soul
---
I'm wearing lots of belts..... for no reason at all ~Jinx
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#30 Posted: 10:38:31 30/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Thanks...I really appreciate that...
Maybe tonight, I will post the next chapter, hope you can wait...
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#31 Posted: 14:52:11 30/04/2012 | Topic Creator
Okay, as I promise, I continue the story.

Chapter 4

The wolf may think dragon's meat is better than bear's meat, but he know he shouldn't eat them. Somehow the dragons look familiar to him. So he continue his work, hunt a bear that live deeper in that cave.

In Samgon's dream, he see hiself together with Youla on a top of a mountain, viewing a beautiful stars. Suddenly another dragon hit him hard...

"Aaahhh...!" Samgon shocked, "...It just a dream, and now it's morning already."
Then, he see Youla has already waked up. Her face looked worried...
"Hey, what's the matter?" ask Samgon

"No...nothing?" She answered

"C'mon, I know something is wrong, just say it to me" ask Samgon one more time.

"Okay" she answered, "I just have a nightmare, it's about me. I see myself turning back to dark this night and start beat you..."

He confuse, hearing what Youla has told him. So from now he just need to be more aware...
"No, it won't happen, I believe that. By the way, names Samgon, and you?"

"Cluanne Youla"

Then Denragon wakes up, he see that Samgon talking with that girl. He doesn't care, right what he cares is finding a food, his tummy start growling.

"Ow, Denragon, you're awake. Here's Youla" said Samgon.

"Hi, nice to meet you" Youla greets.

"Nice to meet you to, I'm Denragon"he said, and his tummy start growling again. He is starving.
*Sniff,sniff* Denragon smells a food. It's coming from outside, with a wolf eating it. He asking that wolf.
"Umm, excuse me, where do you get that?"

"Hey, you're awake. This meat comes from deepers from this cave." explain the wolf.

"Thanks a lot" said Denragon. Then they start hunting, but before that...

"Hey!! What's your name?" the wolf shouted.

"I'm Denragon, this is Samgon and Youla" Denragon shout back.

"And I'm Muelfor!"


Meanwhile, in the Dark Realm, in the throne room, two guard entering the room, and report the situation.

"Boss, what are we going to do? Since they escaped, we lost their track" ask the first guard.

"Don't worry Denstery. For now we just need to wait untill the night comes" answer the boss.

"But, what we going to do when the times come?" ask the second guard.

"Asou, my loyal knight, don't you believe me? Just fight on my side and leave the rest to me. I already set a beautiful painful plan...Mwa ha ha ha ha..." the boss laught.

The evil plan seems related with Youla's dream, what will happen in the night? Wait the next chapter.


Note : I'm still hiding the "boss" name, but it will be revealed at the next chapter.
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 15:45:45 01/05/2012 by Youla
Denragon Gold Sparx Gems: 2763
#32 Posted: 03:14:55 01/05/2012
Oh... Man... 2 of my old character name is being added too??? (Even one of it have been edited)*sigh*
Well... I just can say "Continiue this story, Youla... I know you can do it!" smilie
---
"Everyday we make our own story to tell later for the next generation of us." -Denragon
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#33 Posted: 09:23:33 01/05/2012 | Topic Creator
Don't you remember, we already made an agreement
Blayze Gold Sparx Gems: 2299
#34 Posted: 09:58:58 01/05/2012
Good chapter!
---
I'm wearing lots of belts..... for no reason at all ~Jinx
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#35 Posted: 13:56:56 01/05/2012 | Topic Creator
Chapter 5

While waiting for the night, they had fun in the freezing river beside the cave, and they totally forgot about Xentor. They had a practice too, improving their speed and damage. Then when the night comes, they sleep peacefully. That opportunity is used by the evil boss to re-capture Youla and capture Samgon.

Muelfor is sitting outside the cave, howling nicely, also a lulaby for those who need to sleep. Then suddenly, he see 3 another dragon. One of the dragon wear a shining necklace, just to make sure, he check Youla and the other. And Youla's necklace is shining the same colour as them.
"Hey, Youla...wake up" Muelfor yells quietly.

"Huh, what's up?" ask Youla as her vision still a blur.

"Are those your friend?" ask Muelfor.
"Cause they have the same shining necklace"

"Who?" as Youla realize that dragon is form dark realm, Youla wakes do other.

"Hey, what's going on?" ask Samgon suprized.

"I'm still daydreaming" continued by Denragon.

"Sshhh, keep your voice down. Cyro is coming for us..." tell Youla, once more she look outside.

"Who's Cyro?" Denragon confused.

"He is the dark master, he is going to kill us!!" Youla yell quietly.

"What?! Repeat that and I'm going to suicide" Denragon said in fear.

"So what are we going to do?" ask Samgon.

"Don't worry" explain Muelfor, "there's an escape route at the end of this cave, pass the bear and you see some light."

"But what are you going to do?" ask Youla.

"I'll play foold, pretend I don't know you" said Muelfor.

"Just try your best, he's not the man you can fool to" explain Youla

As they running toward the cave, meet and pass the bear, and Muelfor is right. Now they are on the other side of the mountain.
Cyro approch the wolf and asking.

"Have you seen 3 dragon, and the female is wearing this necklace?" ask Cyro with evil stare.

"Uh, umm, nope, what dragon??" Muelfor say.
However Muelfor's face look kind of weird, and Cyro feel the presence of Youla too.

"Mwa ha ha ha...you're lying" smack Muelfor aside, and Muelfor start running

Cyro is forming a plan, he order Denstery and Asou to fly and surprize them, and he will pursue from the cave, as well to block their route too. So they begin flying and Cyro begin running.

Youla and the other keep running into the forest. They rest a little bit, feeling they aren't followed. Suddenly, from the back of another tree, Denstery and Asou surprize them, make them to run again.

"Back to the cave!!" shout Youla.

Samgon and Denragon follow from behind, blocking any incoming attack as well. As Youla entering the cave again,
Cyro appear from dark and surprize Youla. He's turning Youla back into her evil form.

Seeing that Samgon has no option left, he need to escape and ask for Xentor helps. The matter is HOW?? Will they able to escape, our get caught? Wait more, maybe tomorrow...
Denragon Gold Sparx Gems: 2763
#36 Posted: 14:54:02 01/05/2012
Nice chapter... I wonder why there is 'Spyro' name at chapter 4... Are you make a mistake at spelling name?
---
"Everyday we make our own story to tell later for the next generation of us." -Denragon
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#37 Posted: 15:44:31 01/05/2012 | Topic Creator
Oh no...you're right. Let me fix it right now...
Thanks anyway
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 15:49:45 01/05/2012 by Youla
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#38 Posted: 16:10:20 01/05/2012
I liked that chapter. It didn't feel rushed like the first one.
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#39 Posted: 16:21:16 01/05/2012 | Topic Creator
Thanks for the compliment...
Denragon Gold Sparx Gems: 2763
#40 Posted: 00:05:31 02/05/2012
Hey... Blayze, Samius, are there any new reader from your friends?
---
"Everyday we make our own story to tell later for the next generation of us." -Denragon
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#41 Posted: 13:19:49 02/05/2012 | Topic Creator
Sorry, I can't post the next chapter today.
Dunno why, just don't want...
wuffser Green Sparx Gems: 252
#42 Posted: 14:12:20 02/05/2012
Aww and I wanted to see you improve more. Be careful with your postings too many you could overwhelm your readers, too little they lose interest.
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#43 Posted: 15:56:06 02/05/2012 | Topic Creator
Whoa, a new reader?! Sweet!!
And sorry, chapter 5 is quite important chapter, it can't be separated...

And for any reader, did any of you realize why Muelfor doesn't eat Youla and the other?
Explain your answer with your post...
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 13:20:46 03/05/2012 by Youla
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#44 Posted: 13:19:13 03/05/2012 | Topic Creator
Chapter 6

Again, after Youla is possesed again by Cyro, she can use her dark element again.

"Oh no! Denragon, you have to leave" shout Samgon

"But, how about you?" ask Denragon.

"That's why I want you to leave, to ask for Xentor help" said Samgon

"I hope you know what you're doing" just when Denragon is about to strecth his wing, Youla strike him again with twisted dark huricane again, bounce him away.

"Where do you thing you're going?" ask Cynder with her in Cyro's control.

Then Denstery and Asou got him, in order to kill him. Cyro thought Denragon only disturbing his plans, so sooner he is gone is better. Samgon can't help too, as he is blocked by Youla. However, Muelfor come in for rescue, spit deadly corosive goo at Denstery hand, making he retreat.

Denragon said in weak condition "Poison user huh?"

"Are you okay?" help Muelfor.

"Does this look okay to you?! my wings hurt..." said Denragon in pain

When they about to run to Xentor, they got stop by Denstery and Asou.

Meanwhile, Samgon is fighting Youla to the dead. Striking each other again and again, until then Youla got hit by one of Samgon earth boulder, she stunned. Samgon used thid opportunity to trap Youla, locking his hand and feet with the petrified rock. Then he rush to help Denragon.

"Hey! Come back here you!!" shout Youla struggling to free her hand.

Cyro that had been watching from far is coming to help Youla. While Samgon and the other are in battle with Denstery and Asou, Cyro wants to surprize Samgon.

"Finally, get out from here!" Samgon order to Denragon while creating and earth barrier. As they running throught the forest, they see Cyro is appearing behind Samgon.

"Samgon!!! WATCH OUT!!!" shout both of them.

"Huh?!"

Then Cyro casting a black spark that stun Samgon, then casting a black thunder.

"Take this you little!!!" Cyro strike the black thunder with his evil smile, glad that his goal has reached...

A minute later after the zapping, Youla (still corrupted) asking something to Cyro.
"What are we going to do with him?"

"Leave it alone, it already smelled like ashes" then Cyro leave and start heading back to his other base, beside Dark Realm.

Knowing the Cyro has leave, Denragon and Muelfor appear from behind the bushes and go to Samgon. It is, smelled like ash, but is he died? Denragon can't feel his heart pulse either...
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#45 Posted: 14:33:57 04/05/2012 | Topic Creator
No chapter tonight, sorry...
But tomorrow, beside the next chapter, I'll post my dragon figure.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 14:56:41 04/05/2012 by Youla
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#46 Posted: 08:08:44 05/05/2012
The last chapter was ok. I'll be waiting for more.
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#47 Posted: 08:22:08 05/05/2012 | Topic Creator
After I know this forum has a dragon generator, I'll try it, and this is the result...

This is Samgon
//www.darkspyro.net/images/nig...0548-Samgon.jpg
Thick skinned as Samgon is an earth user...

This is Youla
//www.darkspyro.net/images/nig...2044A-Youla.jpg
She borned with this shape of body show that she is destinied to be a wind user, and to lightly manuver at the sky...

This is Denragon
//www.darkspyro.net/images/nig...29-Denragon.jpg
This dragon carry a sword just to scare his enemy, pretending this sword is legend, after all, it just a toy...

Well, at least the body like that, but the face totally diffrent...

Now, wait until tonight to read my story...
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 11:49:31 05/05/2012 by Youla
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#48 Posted: 14:15:55 05/05/2012 | Topic Creator
Chapter 7

Samgon finally wake up, he looks around. It just like the snowy mountain, in front of his cave, but he can't find anyone.
"Hello? Is somebody there!?" he keep shouting until a voice talk to him.

"Samgon, my dear Samgon. You have grown up now..." said the mysterious voice.

"How are you! Show yourself!!" searching for the source of the voice.

"Why rushing, I'm right behind you" said the mysterious voice gently.

Samgon turns around and...
"Bah!!" shocked, "S-S-Spyro??" Samgon said in fear, he thinks he already dead. He can meet his father's grandfather.
"Am I died?"

"...Yes" Spyro said.

Samgon shocked, his face show that he already lose hope...
"So, I-I can't meet with Youla...Denragon anymore?"

"No, no, don't worry" said Spyro gently, giving hope for Samgon.

Samgon tears stop dropping.
"So there's a way?"

"Relax, let me say something" Spyro stared at Samgon eye softly.
"I see you have meet with Cyro"

"Sure, he looked too old for old dragon, didn't he? Is he what you want to talk about?" Samgon answer with full question.

"Yes, now just be careful. I choose you to safe the earth, that's why you can meet me" explain Spyro slowly.

"What's wrong with Cyro anyway?" ask Samgon curiously.

"You're facing with the Dark Master" answer Spyro seriously.

"WHAT??!! Haven't you already beat the Dark Master? Malefor?"

"Yes you're right, but this is different, Cyro is Malefor's son" Spyro begin to relax.

"What The--?!" answer Samgon in surprize.

Then Samgon hear another voice, sounds like Denragon's voice.
"Hey, Samgon!! Wake up!"

"Seem our time is out, from now you must continue your journey, but don't worry. I will always beside. And act normal" Spyro explain.

"Okay, but one more question. Where's Cynder?" Samgon ask.

"Hey, Spyro come here?" ask Cynder show up.

"There she is" Spyro look to Cynder and explain.
"This is our grandson's child"

"Ow, hi" Cynder greet.

"Hi grandma..." said Samgon, as he about to ask more question, he hear another voice, and this time is clearer.

"I'm afraid this is the best I can do..." another girl's voice, but not Youla

"Well, good bye grandma" Samgon is about to return to real world.

"Bye, see you soon" Cynder replied.

Then as his eye opened for the real, he gasped deeply, seeing another female dragon beside her.

Then to be continued...
More tomorrow, if I'm free...

Sorry if the story is too long. And tomorrow I'll going to share the new girl figure...
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 10:40:39 06/05/2012 by Youla
Samius Hunter Gems: 9224
#49 Posted: 16:16:13 05/05/2012
Now this was an interesting chapter. Very confusing in the start, but it shed a lot of light to the story in the end..
Youla Yellow Sparx Gems: 1982
#50 Posted: 04:13:52 06/05/2012 | Topic Creator
Thanks, all this chapter I write is from your advices...
And Denragon must be surprized, cause this chapter was diffrent from the story he read in my notebook...
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 06:48:08 06/05/2012 by Youla
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