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Monsters Among Us [CLOSED]
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#1 Posted: 03:46:50 08/03/2017 | Topic Creator
[User Posted Image]


MONSTERS AMONG US is a webcomic series i'm working on. The first issue is set to begin production in June, and should be finished at any point before October. 6 issues are planned.

The story revolves around Chad Hillsberg, a 19 year old kid who's lived in the small town of Crystal Canyon for his entire life. He's seen all there is to see, and goes on with his normal life- yet he feels as if there's a greater purpose out there. He suddenly begins to have vivid hallucinations of horrible outcomes and nightmarish encounters. It's not until one night when Chad goes out to the forest that his paranormal odyssey kicks off. Upon entering the forest, he is met by a dark cavern filled with tendrils and hands. After being wounded, Chad is (miraculously) rescued by Luna Bludmuun, a 19 year old girl with a dark past and knowledge of the truth, and Ren Senner- a reckless, wild 19 year old with a knack for being devil's advocate. They go to a small shack in the town of Ironhead, where Chad can be protected from Lumiose's wrath. Now, three friends must take on the world- and demons.

MEET OUR CAST-

Chad Hillsberg-
Chad has lived in Crystal Canyon, CA for his whole life. In fact- he is the only living being in CC that was BORN there. His life is simple- walk around town, attempt to make friends, and sleep for a bit. However, his frantic tendencies and occasional obsessive-compulsive behaviors make him a bit awkward in the eyes of everybody. So when he found himself in the master plan of a mystery cult, he had no idea what to do. Luckily, his new friends are here to help make sure it's all okay.

Luna Bludmuun-
Luna's history is unknown to most. She's not from CC, but another town further down. She left her home when she was 17, and hitchhiked her way to Chad. Her main caretaker is Inferu, although she mostly goes out on her own. She's mostly stern and stubborn, but has vulnerable moments often. Her "bad past" and placement in the Double Negative makes her a stand-out among others.

Ren Senner-
Ren is a semi-depressed guy with plastic surgery horns, and play guitar in a small band- and he wouldn't have it any other way. But due to "unknown circumstances", he somehow got stuck with Luna. He reluctantly tagged along with Chad, seeing as tentacle demons are serious.

Ruger Devin-
Ren's best friend, and drummer in Ren's band. Ruger is quite hyperactive, and often leaps before he looks.

Anne Marie-
Lead vocalist in the band. Although her appearance is quite soft, the inner workings of her soul are dark. A comedic edgy.

Tim Amphibison-
Bass player in the band. Doesn't talk much, does deal in some illegal substances.


VIEW THE FIRST ISSUE'S SCRIPT HERE-
https://docs.google.com/docume...dit?usp=sharing
Edited 6 times - Last edited at 01:48:27 21/03/2017 by ZapNorris
Gengar Guy Yellow Sparx Gems: 1424
#2 Posted: 12:10:08 08/03/2017
Cool story, bro.
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I always come back. Discord: .spectrespecs
kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 6366
#3 Posted: 14:12:48 08/03/2017
It seems like you've put a lot of work into it since you posted it in SnN.

What engine do you plan on building it in?
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I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#4 Posted: 16:36:41 08/03/2017 | Topic Creator
Quote: kardonis
It seems like you've put a lot of work into it since you posted it in SnN.

What engine do you plan on building it in?



i still have to figure that out. I'll obviously have to put money into this to make it decent, but it's worth it
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#5 Posted: 02:24:50 09/03/2017 | Topic Creator
okay- more stuff regarding MAU.

when looking at the concept, i noticed two parts of the game pulled attention from each other. in MAU, there is not only a CITY of monsters, but a VERY LARGE, SINGULAR monster attacking you. having these two "monster" groups would distract players from the main conflict. So, i've made a small decision. The main city won't be MONSTERS, but instead animals. So some characters will have small changes. Chad will be converted to a sheep. Herc won't have wings. Xaktaang will be a wasp instead of a metalman. (xaktaang is a minor NPC, btw.) in addition, the OST will have more songs. (14 into 25.) Plot will still be the same (you just moved into town, make your 3 friends, weird crap is going down, tentacle monster murders people, axe or no axe, ect.) Luce and Luna will be the same. Lumiose is still a tentacle demon. You've still got your lighthearted moments. i just wanted to change things that would distract from important storylines.

I'll be starting to make more progress on the game. The most important thing right now is solidifying the idea, finishing the script, and finding the right tools to make MAU.
kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 6366
#6 Posted: 03:44:20 10/03/2017
That was a pretty big read, but it was interesting. Does this mean you're making it a comic and not a game like you originally planned?

If I could make a small suggestion, I usually feel like villains and especially monsters are much more intimidating when they don't swear or use slang talk. Formal speech seems to have much more of an intimidation factor than regular talking.
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I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#7 Posted: 03:59:30 10/03/2017 | Topic Creator
Quote: kardonis
That was a pretty big read, but it was interesting. Does this mean you're making it a comic and not a game like you originally planned?

If I could make a small suggestion, I usually feel like villains and especially monsters are much more intimidating when they don't swear or use slang talk. Formal speech seems to have much more of an intimidation factor than regular talking.



yeah, i moved it to a comic.

thanks for the suggestion.
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#8 Posted: 18:49:07 11/04/2017 | Topic Creator
we're moving ahead in the project. feel free to take a look.

(it's a long read, though.)

https://docs.google.com/docume...dit?usp=sharing
kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 6366
#9 Posted: 19:17:55 11/04/2017
I think the Azareth powder is a little strong considering the implied magnitude of Lumiose's strength, but that's just my two cents.
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I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#10 Posted: 03:03:54 17/04/2017 | Topic Creator
another new draft. improved some things and we have an early introduction of kama and forrek

https://docs.google.com/docume...d7ISszL2ME/edit
kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 6366
#11 Posted: 15:51:24 17/04/2017
I think its coming along nicely
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I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#12 Posted: 16:18:53 17/04/2017 | Topic Creator
Quote: kardonis
I think its coming along nicely



thanks :3

i think i might go through the script one last time to make sure everything makes sense, then i'm gonna need to start storyboarding
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#13 Posted: 02:48:46 23/04/2017 | Topic Creator
I've got more updates coming pretty soon. Stay tuned!
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